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1 year old sleep issues

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#1 mysonsmum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:46 AM

Since my son who is now almost 13 months started crawling at 9 months he refuses to have a day nap. I think in the whole 3-4 months he has had 2 maybe 3 naps for maybe 30mins. His sleep at night is generally OK sleeps up to 12 hours most nights but no matter what I try during the day he will not sleep, have tried taking him to the play ground to tire him out, hot baths, feeding him to sleep, keeping him awake longer, not keeping him up as long, getting him up earlier in the morning & nothing works. I get nothing done during the day & often get's tired & ends up a grumpy mess & for his development he is supposed to be getting closer to 14 hours sleep a day but some days he might only 8 - 10. Anything else I can try?

#2 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:03 AM

I think your little one is way too young to not nap. you don't say what you actually do or don't do at nap times and at night? maybe if you set this out people might be better able to help out.

#3 mysonsmum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:10 AM

I agree, he definitely needs to nap! His bed time routine has always been dinner a massage, get pjs on, quite time, story, breastfeed, lie him in bed & give him his cuddley & he's asleep within 5 mins. For day naps all I have ever had to do was have a few mins of quiet time, lie him in bed & give him his cuddley but that doesn't work anymore. I tried wrapping him a few different ways because until summer hit he was always wrapped for bed but that hasn't helps. I am trying to implement a bit more of a getting ready for a nap routine with him during the day such as getting him changed, reading a book, milk ect but it's like he senses what I'm trying to do & he just looses it

#4 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:19 AM

what do you do when he loses it? Also how many naps/what time are you trying?

#5 mysonsmum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:26 AM

For 2 months I tried to continue giving him 2 naps as that was what he had always done but have given up & am trying to get 1 for now. Tho I think he needs 2 I have to start somewhere. when he looses it I have just been carrying on with it, settling him as much as possible then going back to the book or whatever. Sometimes he might settle enough for me to get him off to bed but when I put him down he just starts to talk then stands up & walks around his cot talking until he's bored then he starts screaming. If I skip the routine he screams before he even lies down in bed...

#6 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 07 February 2013 - 12:28 PM

not sure if i understood correctly but you are trying to put him to sleep outside of the cot and then to put him down?
it's just my opinion, but i think he should be more than ready to learn to self settle. we did it with the help of a sleep nanny but you could try it on your own...

#7 PurpleNess

Posted 07 February 2013 - 12:55 PM

MY DS does the same thing but reverse - he's a dream to self settle during the day but since Christmas has been a nightmare at night. He's nearly 14 months.

Basically at 1 they are far more aware of wanting you around & Im sure that's our issue, he wants to be with us & not miss out, plus he's finding it harder to settle himself after a busy day of playing, walking ( new since Aussie Day), swimming etc. He's been a perfect self settler since 5 months.

We had been rocking him to sleep but this week I said enough is enough. Im not an advocate of CC so I've done my own thing.

We go through the night time routine ( similar to yours) but in your case daytime routine, talk him through it " going to read some books then time to lie down with snuggly & have a nap', do this at several intervals & also say ' last book then off to nigh nigh etc.

Place him in his cot with snuggly, say night night then sit in a chair next to the cot - no eye contact but you can sooth by saying sit down, lie down, go nigh nighs' I've also started singing Twinkle twinkle, he finds it very calming and we've gone from 40 minutes of standing & crying to 10 minutes in 4 days....

Its hard work but I think once he's happy to settle himself we'll just move closer to the door over time and then out:-)

Hope that helps, you have to be firm but kind, let him know you hear him and that he's ok. Ofcourse make sure there are no underlying causes like teeth etc but if he's OK at night then I doubt it.

Good Luck - PM me if you want to chat.

#8 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 07 February 2013 - 06:20 PM

What happens if you go for a drive after lunch?  If he will sleep then, then maybe do that at a set time for a week or so and see if you can get his body used to sleeping again.

#9 mysonsmum

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:17 AM

Thanks, at night he self settles with no problems & always used to settle him self during the day. I feel like since he has started crawling his mind is just going a mile a minute & he can't switch off, he has become really hyper. I talked about it to my friend last night who's 6 year old son is has bad ADHD & she told me that first thing in the morning she gives him quiet time, with calming music, a massage ect before breakfast & then during the day he seems more able to focus. I am wondering whether that might work in my son so I'm going to trial it tomorrow. The last 2 nights he hasn't slept well but still won't nap during the day & he's a major GRUMP!

#10 mysonsmum

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:18 AM

also he doesn't sleep in the car or pram anymore mad.gif

#11 Feral_Pooks

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:31 AM

I wonder if he has very subtle tired signs and by the time you are able to see he is tired, he is overtired and struggles to sleep?

I also think you are going to need to pick a strategy, and stick to it. Chopping and changing approaches doesn't work. Babies need to learn sleep cues, so that they know sleep is coming and can wind down. It might take a few weeks of consistency to work. After sleep school for 4 nights, I was completely consistent with routine to the point of not going out, etc, for a few weeks and after that we were able to make it a little more flexible.

I suggest contacting a sleep school for a day stay to help you work out some approaches that will fit your family.

#12 mysonsmum

Posted 08 February 2013 - 08:52 AM

Thanks, whatever i try i try & stick to it for 2 weeks but if after the first week it is only making matters worse i stop because it's not fair on him, if I find a strategy that helps i will definitely stick to it.
He definitely has subtle tired signs, once he's tired he gets cranky but by then it is too late, I've tried to put him down just before I think he's going to get cranky & that's when he'll lie down for a few minutes talking then get up & start walking around his cot before he starts to cry which is much better than just screaming wink.gif

#13 RCTP

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:07 AM

Ah Asha9 I was just going to suggest the pram but I see your last post...

About 4/5 weeks ago I did a sleep and settle programme and my just turned 1 year old now mostly sleeps 10-11 hours at night BUT it came at the price of her not wanting to sleep in the cot during the day.
I was spending 45 mins settling her, resettling her just to follow the instructions to try the pram/sling after that long!

So I cut out the middle-man and we bring the dog around the block for 15 mins once (if it is later morn and she has a couple of hours sleep) or twice (if it is early like this morn at 9.30 and then again about 3pm). I have to lie the pram seat back and cover her over with the dark sun shade half way around to promote the nodding off.

Then when we get in she is wheeled into her dark room and left there (at the moment with a fan for white noise as it is warm).

I will keep trying the cot now and again for the day but it wasn't worth us both getting upset to end up in the pram anyway.

#14 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:11 AM

I would second the suggestion of sleep school or a day visit from a sleep nanny. Ours cost about $200-250 for a 3 hour visit and follow up calls/email until things were sorted. that way you are getting a solution tailored to your LO.

#15 PurpleNess

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:50 AM

Try sitting with him whilst he settles during the day - it will throw you out of whack for a week or so but it will work I'm sure.
DS self settled last night with no tears, screaming, standing up etc for the first time since Xmas & I didn't have to stay in the room. It's been 5 days since I started to sit wiht him & sing & ask him to sit down & go to sleep...these kids are smart!

Our bubs are the same age and at similar developmental stages that's why I suggest trying it...

#16 Lauren Bell

Posted 10 February 2013 - 10:45 PM

OP how have you survived? I go crazy if DD doesn't day sleep!!

Reading your original post I was gonna suggest the pram..

I'd suggest a great daily routine and stick to it. Wear him out but have a sort of wind down period before nap time (ie drawing or reading to him). Maybe see a sleep specialist.

Good luck I can only imagine how much you want those few hours back to yourself everyday! X

#17 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 11 February 2013 - 01:08 AM

I agree he needs a sleep, but I personally settle for 'quiet time' and hope that he drifted off in that time.
We also use the car to get 2.8yo DD to sleep

#18 Mummy-2-1boy

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:20 AM

My 13 month old has really started protesting naps & done so on & off for the past 2 months or so. Mornin sleep is ok but afternoons she really fights. But she also doesn't cope with just one. I have always let ee self settle & she usually cries for all of one minute when I leave the room, then chatters & yells out until she goes to sleep. Mornings usually take half hr & afternoons sometimes she doesn't sleep but I always leave her for at least an hr & longer if she's not upset - usually she just talks on & off then lies quietly, then yells out, then chatters but doesn't generally get to distraught about it & usually goes to sleep eventually - more often than not 5 mins before I have decided I will get her up. I used to go in & cuddle her if age was t asleep after half hr but there came a time when that only upset her & she wasn't crying so really no reason for me to upset her. I also have a very active 3 yr old who has a 'rest' watching a movie at the same time so it is also much needed down time for me where I can get some things done - I work from home so it's a must that I actually have some time to do it. As previous posts say, even if she doesn't sleep, the rest benefits her as I get up a much happier girl than I put down...

You could even just try putting bub in the cot with some quiet toys and gradually stretching out the time you leave him in there by a couple of minutes a day. I wouldn't go straight to demanding he self settle after such a long time but I would develop a nice routine that includes some of your night bedtime things to indicate sleep, then pop him in bed & return to him to lie him down & reassure him - yes he may scream for the first little while but I do think he would at least get used to being left alone for a few mins at a time- I would hope! They can be so determined & strong willed from such a young age, and I don't think it's at all about showing them whose boss - I just think they need a mental break from all the interaction & if nothing else, some quiet time would help him unwind. Just don't go in with an expectation that he will sleep - Just aim for some quiet & perhaps he might surprise you on occasion with a sleep original.gif

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