Jump to content

Pregnant? Should I tell DH?


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 mrselp

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:08 AM

AF is 7 days late, I have done two pregnancy tests which are negative. It is very very weird for AF to be late, I think it would have been late by 1-2 days maybe twice over the last 15 years. We are using contraception and with the negative preg tests the likelihood of being pregnant is probably low.
We have three children and DH is quite firm that that is it. I am also in the no boat at the moment but after he wanted a vasectomy about a month ago I have said I don't want anything permanent just yet (our youngest is 1 and even though I think no more I just don't want a permanent decision yet).
So for the question mellow.gif DH does not know AF is late and I don't know whether I should tell him as I am sure he would be really stressed. Now if I was, he would cope but he might have a heart attack first happy.gif
I had a blood test today for immunisation levels (for Uni) and she added a quantitative pregnancy test to the blood work which I just had done and results should be back tomorrow.
I am thinking to just wait to the results come back tomorrow, I don't want to stress him out unnecessarily.
So would you let him know or just wait to see what happens tomorrow?

#2 TillyTake2

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:14 AM

I'd wait until you know for sure.

#3 Fenrir

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:14 AM

There could be any number of reasons why it is late. Personally I would give another week retest by POAS and Dr if necessary and take it from there.

#4 BadCat

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:18 AM

In your situation I'd wait.

#5 esme weatherwax

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

I'd tell, for something that could have such a huge impact on our lives I'd want my husband to know what was going on. Yes, it might cause him stress but you're in it together I think.

#6 PrincessPeach

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:22 AM

I'd wait until the blood tests come back.

Stress can do funny things to your body & AF can be late for so many different reasons - not related to pregnancy.

#7 Jax12

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:23 AM

How much is it stressing you out not sharing that information with your DH?  I'd use that as a guide.  I can't keep anything from DH so if it was me I'd be selfish and make him share the worry with me, but if you're coping okay and really feel it will be (most likely unneccessary) extreme stress, just wait for your results.

#8 Franni

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:24 AM

I would tell DH but then I tell mine everything.

#9 glowlight

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:25 AM

Wait a day and then you'll know for sure. Why stress him out unnecessarily over a hypothetical scenario. It's just one day after all, if I had to wait a week I'd tell.

#10 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:25 AM

QUOTE (TillyTake2 @ 07/02/2013, 10:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd wait until you know for sure.

That's what I would do.

But if it makes you feel better to share it with your DH and he would want to know, then tell him.

#11 glowlight

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:25 AM

Wait a day and then you'll know for sure. Why stress him out unnecessarily over a hypothetical scenario. It's just one day after all, if I had to wait a week I'd tell.

#12 elizabethany

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:29 AM

I would tell my DH, but that is the type of relationship we have.  No judgement either way, and waiting for the blood test is a reasonable choice.

#13 Leggy

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:32 AM

I'd wait till the bloodwork comes back, and if it's not clear and AF is still AWOL, then decide based on: will I be more stressed keeping it from him, or by coping with his stressing about it?

#14 carriesshoes

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:38 AM

Me personally - I'd say something like... I'm not sure what's going on, I'm late and that's not normal for me blah blah blah.

You can't make any decisions unti you knwo one way or another - but at least you're in it together and will work it out together.  It's all about teamwork!  Plus it take two to make a bub.

#15 Missy Shelby

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

I would try really hard not to say anything until you got your blood test results back, then you will have a definite answer.

If you tell him you maybe pregnant he may react in a really bad way and what happens then if you are?  

Having said that when I am stressed I am the type of person that just needs to spill my guts to somebody, could you possibly confide in a really close friend/family member so that way you get if off your chest without having to stress out your DH.

#16 mrselp

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Thanks everyone. I am still so undecided. I know if I told him AF would turn up straight away and I would think I stressed him for no reason. Also, I have three children and I have always gotten a BFP before AF  so that is another reason I don't think I am pregnant and I just don't think two pregnancy tests can be wrong.
I am a bit of a stress head but this has never delayed AF. The only stress this month that I can think of was a holiday to Perth (travelling for the first time with 3 kids, 3 hour flight and staying with inlaws).

He is supposed to be home early today before the kids get home from school and childcare, so I might see how I feel then.

#17 opethmum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:55 AM

I would tell your DH, My DH would be peeved at me if I did not share things that were stressing me out and we are there for each other good times and in bad.
I know others are saying to wait until the blood work comes back but I would honestly tell him .
You're in this together and trust in that.

Edited by opethmum, 07 February 2013 - 10:55 AM.


#18 JaneDoe2010

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:51 PM

No secrets in our house, especially with something like that. I'd tell him.

#19 Mpjp is feral

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

Given that two tests have said you are not, and how he has stated he woudl feel, I would not tell.

Or if i did I'd be emphasising teh two negative tests and the (therefore) low probability!!

#20 HRH Countrymel

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

I'd wait.

Deal with it IF it happens, you are stressed now, why make him stressed as well for possibly no reason.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:14 PM

i would say something but then again i tell my dh everything.

#22 LittleC

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:19 PM

I would tell, I would also tell him that you have had to negative pregnancy tests, if you're pregnant he is going to freak out anyway and if you're not he can then sigh relief. It's his equal responsibility, surely you didn't get pregnant by some sort of magic original.gif

best of luck with your decision.

#23 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:30 PM

It's been two weeks. Wait one more day until you know for sure (and it's Friday and he can drink and have the weekend to recover!)

All the best.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Show us your DUPLO creations to win!

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

Anti-vaccination mum's seven children contract whooping cough

A Canadian woman who had declined to have her children immunised against pertussis, better known as whooping cough, has changed her position now that all seven of her children have come down with the disease.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

Show us your toddlers LEGO DUPLO creations

We love to see the cool creations kids build when they play with LEGO DUPLO. Enter and share a picture of your childs creation for a chance to WIN 1 of 10 LEGO DUPLO prize packs worth over $100 each.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

SIGN UP NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby for just the month of April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.