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Pregnant? Should I tell DH?


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#1 mrselp

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:08 AM

AF is 7 days late, I have done two pregnancy tests which are negative. It is very very weird for AF to be late, I think it would have been late by 1-2 days maybe twice over the last 15 years. We are using contraception and with the negative preg tests the likelihood of being pregnant is probably low.
We have three children and DH is quite firm that that is it. I am also in the no boat at the moment but after he wanted a vasectomy about a month ago I have said I don't want anything permanent just yet (our youngest is 1 and even though I think no more I just don't want a permanent decision yet).
So for the question mellow.gif DH does not know AF is late and I don't know whether I should tell him as I am sure he would be really stressed. Now if I was, he would cope but he might have a heart attack first happy.gif
I had a blood test today for immunisation levels (for Uni) and she added a quantitative pregnancy test to the blood work which I just had done and results should be back tomorrow.
I am thinking to just wait to the results come back tomorrow, I don't want to stress him out unnecessarily.
So would you let him know or just wait to see what happens tomorrow?

#2 TillyTake2

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:14 AM

I'd wait until you know for sure.

#3 Floki

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:14 AM

There could be any number of reasons why it is late. Personally I would give another week retest by POAS and Dr if necessary and take it from there.

#4 BadCat

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:18 AM

In your situation I'd wait.

#5 esme weatherwax

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

I'd tell, for something that could have such a huge impact on our lives I'd want my husband to know what was going on. Yes, it might cause him stress but you're in it together I think.

#6 PrincessPeach

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:22 AM

I'd wait until the blood tests come back.

Stress can do funny things to your body & AF can be late for so many different reasons - not related to pregnancy.

#7 Jax12

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:23 AM

How much is it stressing you out not sharing that information with your DH?  I'd use that as a guide.  I can't keep anything from DH so if it was me I'd be selfish and make him share the worry with me, but if you're coping okay and really feel it will be (most likely unneccessary) extreme stress, just wait for your results.

#8 Franni

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:24 AM

I would tell DH but then I tell mine everything.

#9 glowlight

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:25 AM

Wait a day and then you'll know for sure. Why stress him out unnecessarily over a hypothetical scenario. It's just one day after all, if I had to wait a week I'd tell.

#10 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:25 AM

QUOTE (TillyTake2 @ 07/02/2013, 10:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd wait until you know for sure.

That's what I would do.

But if it makes you feel better to share it with your DH and he would want to know, then tell him.

#11 glowlight

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:25 AM

Wait a day and then you'll know for sure. Why stress him out unnecessarily over a hypothetical scenario. It's just one day after all, if I had to wait a week I'd tell.

#12 elizabethany

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:29 AM

I would tell my DH, but that is the type of relationship we have.  No judgement either way, and waiting for the blood test is a reasonable choice.

#13 Leggy

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:32 AM

I'd wait till the bloodwork comes back, and if it's not clear and AF is still AWOL, then decide based on: will I be more stressed keeping it from him, or by coping with his stressing about it?

#14 carriesshoes

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:38 AM

Me personally - I'd say something like... I'm not sure what's going on, I'm late and that's not normal for me blah blah blah.

You can't make any decisions unti you knwo one way or another - but at least you're in it together and will work it out together.  It's all about teamwork!  Plus it take two to make a bub.

#15 Missy Shelby

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

I would try really hard not to say anything until you got your blood test results back, then you will have a definite answer.

If you tell him you maybe pregnant he may react in a really bad way and what happens then if you are?  

Having said that when I am stressed I am the type of person that just needs to spill my guts to somebody, could you possibly confide in a really close friend/family member so that way you get if off your chest without having to stress out your DH.

#16 mrselp

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:50 AM

Thanks everyone. I am still so undecided. I know if I told him AF would turn up straight away and I would think I stressed him for no reason. Also, I have three children and I have always gotten a BFP before AF  so that is another reason I don't think I am pregnant and I just don't think two pregnancy tests can be wrong.
I am a bit of a stress head but this has never delayed AF. The only stress this month that I can think of was a holiday to Perth (travelling for the first time with 3 kids, 3 hour flight and staying with inlaws).

He is supposed to be home early today before the kids get home from school and childcare, so I might see how I feel then.

#17 opethmum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:55 AM

I would tell your DH, My DH would be peeved at me if I did not share things that were stressing me out and we are there for each other good times and in bad.
I know others are saying to wait until the blood work comes back but I would honestly tell him .
You're in this together and trust in that.

Edited by opethmum, 07 February 2013 - 10:55 AM.


#18 JaneDoe2010

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:51 PM

No secrets in our house, especially with something like that. I'd tell him.

#19 Mpjp is feral

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:53 PM

Given that two tests have said you are not, and how he has stated he woudl feel, I would not tell.

Or if i did I'd be emphasising teh two negative tests and the (therefore) low probability!!

#20 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:09 PM

I'd wait.

Deal with it IF it happens, you are stressed now, why make him stressed as well for possibly no reason.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:14 PM

i would say something but then again i tell my dh everything.

#22 LittleC

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:19 PM

I would tell, I would also tell him that you have had to negative pregnancy tests, if you're pregnant he is going to freak out anyway and if you're not he can then sigh relief. It's his equal responsibility, surely you didn't get pregnant by some sort of magic original.gif

best of luck with your decision.

#23 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:30 PM

It's been two weeks. Wait one more day until you know for sure (and it's Friday and he can drink and have the weekend to recover!)

All the best.




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