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3 y.o She-Devil


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#1 Floss'

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:36 AM

What has happened to DD1?
She has recently turned 3 and is going through the most frustrating phase  (oh I hope it's a phase, please reassure me it's a phase!).  

She is scared of EVERYTHING - dogs, cats (even though we have one), flies, the noise cicadas make, rain, the thought that fairies might come into her room  blink.gif , her scooter, her bike helmet, her swimming goggles, the slide at the park, having her hair washed, and the list goes on.

She won't do ANYTHING - she says "I don't want to do anything. ever. again" and I swear her eyes seem to glow red as she glares at me, kind of werewolf like....
She won't play at the park, play at Playgroup, swim in her lessons (she has been having lessons since she was 8 months old and now it's like she's never seen water in her life). This is also all tied into the fear thing.
She doesn't want to join in at Kindy (yesterday she sat and watched all the other kids playing).
We went to a birthday party recently and she refused to join in with the activities.
If I ask her to do something with me she says "I don't want to" then screams and carries on if I walk away from her.

And, she won't eat - don't get me started on the eating!

I'm not aware of anything happening that could have caused this fear and reluctance to participate in anything - she was a confident, happy, outgoing little girl just a few months ago.
I am at my wits end. In fact, I'm at such a loss with what to do it has forced me out of my EB lurker status  ph34r.gif  happy.gif

Please tell me this is normal behaviour for this age or I might have to leave home.
ps. feel free to provide any tips or hints to help us all get through this.



#2 kadoodle

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:44 AM

A sudden change, you say? What has happened in the last few months that would have upset her?

#3 EBeditor

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:45 AM

My three year old can be very stubborn and screechy too. I am not sure what the answer is, but I try to praise her for being well behaved around the house and brave if she is trying something new.

My DD stopped wanting to do ballet at 3 and stopped wanting to go to the weekly council activities at the local park, I didn't see the point in fighting about it so we stopped going. I can see that she's coming out of it again closer to 4.

#4 Mrs Manager

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:55 AM

Is she getting attention from you when she is scared? If you cuddle her, tell her it is ok etc maybe it is the cuddles she wants?

#5 Cooperdoo

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:01 AM

She turned 3 lol. All my kids have turned into little monsters at 3. I currently have a 3.5 year old who is making my life absolutely impossible. I can't wait until he grows up a bit and snaps out of it, like my others have at around 4-4.5

#6 Floss'

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:36 AM

Not sure Kadoodle. It's not like there have been any major changes or issues that have arisen to bring about this behaviour change. She just seems to have lost all her confidence.

I offer her lots of cuddles and support and talk to her about the perceived "scary things" to try and get her to understand that she won't be hurt or they aren't real (or whatever the situation calls for).

I encourage her to join in and she sees how much fun everyone is having but I don't (and can't) force her - she's too stubborn for that! She just doesn't seem worried that she's missing out and I think she is just too scared/cautious/unconfident to give things a go.

She also stopped dancing at ballet too (even though ballet is her whole world - thanks Angelina) so I have pulled her out until she said she says she is ready to go again. However, I don't want to keep pulling her out of things - worried that will send the wrong message too.

#7 Jupiter123

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:30 AM

QUOTE (Floss' @ 07/02/2013, 09:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
She is scared of EVERYTHING - dogs, cats (even though we have one), flies, the noise cicadas make, rain, the thought that fairies might come into her room  blink.gif , her scooter, her bike helmet, her swimming goggles, the slide at the park, having her hair washed, and the list goes on.

She won't do ANYTHING - she says "I don't want to do anything. ever. again" and I swear her eyes seem to glow red as she glares at me, kind of werewolf like....

If I ask her to do something with me she says "I don't want to" then screams and carries on if I walk away from her.

And, she won't eat - don't get me started on the eating!

I am at my wits end.

Please tell me this is normal behaviour for this age or I might have to leave home.
ps. feel free to provide any tips or hints to help us all get through this.



Yes, Yes and Yes.

My DD is exactly the same I am am losing the plot very quickly.

To add to your list.

1. The same repetitive questions over and over again, even though she knows the answer and will tell you if you ask.
2. Everything is No or I cant or I wont or you do it.
3. If I ask her to try something she says I can't try.
4. If she has something she shouldn't have i.e. my phone she will throw it and then say HAHAHA with this wicked little grin on her face.

There has been a few major changes in the last 3 months, (we have moved interstate, I stopped working so am home everyday, no childcare) but she has adapted to these changes really well as it has put us closer to friends and family that she never had before.

Most of her behavior change has started in the last month when she turned 3 and I thought 2 was bad.

Please tell me there heads stop spinning and the devil leaves them at some stage.... i don't know how much longer I can go on with this lol


#8 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:41 AM

DD will be 3 next month and in the last few months shes gone from sweet and nice to a total she-devil too.
Its just taken me almost an hour to get ready to go the shops cos it was nothing but 'NO NO NO' arrgh!
It better be a phase or I can see lots of wine being drunk around here lol
No advice, im stalking for that biggrin.gif  just sympathy lol

#9 veggiepatchfamily

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:46 AM

QUOTE (jupiter123 @ 07/02/2013, 12:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes, Yes and Yes.

My DD is exactly the same I am am losing the plot very quickly.

To add to your list.

1. The same repetitive questions over and over again, even though she knows the answer and will tell you if you ask.
2. Everything is No or I cant or I wont or you do it.
3. If I ask her to try something she says I can't try.
4. If she has something she shouldn't have i.e. my phone she will throw it and then say HAHAHA with this wicked little grin on her face.



Agree to all!

We get a foot stomp with NEVER.EVER.AGAIN!!!

We're at 3.5, but it started about 6 months ago (DS2 was born 8 months ago) so not sure if a factor.
DS isn't really scared of things but does like to be stubborn about every little detail, and his realized he can say no. So my litre boy who used to do everything we asked, now just say, NO! Don't want to!
Hoping it passes soon too! It's just a phase- we just have to try not to throttle them before they grow put of it!


#10 Sweet like a lemon

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:53 AM

If it is a phase it's not one we went through - thankfully. If there was a build up leading to it I would pass it off as heightened awareness and leave it. I think fear of strange dogs and thunder is fairly normal but I would be very concerned if it came on suddenly and resulted in her shutting down and / or shutting out everything.

Edited by ForsakenTruth, 07 February 2013 - 11:53 AM.


#11 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:53 AM

DD just turned 4 and has been a bit like that since she turned 3.  She doesn't want to do anything yet she's bored.  She's hungry but doesn't want to eat that.  Her feet hurt, she can't walk, her hands hurt she can't do that. yada, yada, yada on and on it goes.


eta this is written about a 3 yr old boy but it's funny and true!

http://jasongood.net/365/2012/12/46-reason...e-freaking-out/

Edited by lifehacker, 08 February 2013 - 12:00 AM.


#12 Natttmumm

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:57 AM

DD2 is 3 and very hard work. Worst age for both my girls.

4 was lovely for DD1 so im hoping DD2 will change

#13 Ice Queen

Posted 07 February 2013 - 12:08 PM

My DD morphed into the devil about a month before she turned 3 and it lasted about 3 or 4 months.  It was awful but it does seem quite common.

Getting her out of the house was the worst, I remember whacking her over the head with her leggings in frustration.....yes, yes, I know not one of my finer mothering moments.....nor was throwning a facewasher and her toothbrush at her down the stairs when she wouldn't come upstairs to get ready.  Ahhhhhh the frustration that used to build up in me!

It was a phase and thankfully she is past it now.  biggrin.gif

#14 nicknick

Posted 07 February 2013 - 12:10 PM

I hear you on the being scared, DS (3.4) has recently developed a fear of things - at the moment it's Swipper the Fox from Dora rolleyes.gif All we are doing on that front is reassuring him it's ok, mummy/daddy are here to protect him.

Food, well yes I feel your pain - my DS is convinced fruit and veg will kill him and won't try anything new, it's like ground hog day each day feeding him.....

Goodluck, very frustrating age.

#15 Floss'

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

QUOTE (Ehill @ 07/02/2013, 01:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
.
Getting her out of the house was the worst, I remember whacking her over the head with her leggings in frustration.....yes, yes, I know not one of my finer mothering moments.....nor was throwning a facewasher and her toothbrush at her down the stairs when she wouldn't come upstairs to get ready.  Ahhhhhh the frustration that used to build up in me!


LOL. My fishwife alter ego may have started to rear her ugly head too  cry1.gif

Thanks for all your replies. Looks like we have to live by the old adage - "this too shall pass...." (quickly please)

#16 Floss'

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:02 PM

Lifehacker I love that link. Eerily familiar.

#17 bubbanme

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:09 PM

Everything in this thread apart from the scared thing is applying to my DD at the moment too and shes only 2.5!! sad.gif

The eating thing is driving me insane the most... i dont know how shes getting through her days on so little food. I serve her up a variety of different things, at the moment mostly things she loves (or used to love!) and she wont even try it. GRR frustrating. Hoping it gets better soon.


#18 merrycherry

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:18 PM

QUOTE (Ehill @ 07/02/2013, 01:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It was a phase and thankfully she is past it now. biggrin.gif


I hope I will see that day when I can say this of my 3.5y DS rolleyes.gif

OP, sorry, only sympathy and company and good luck original.gif

#19 Fire_fly

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:35 PM

I feel everyone's pain. I just had a 30min argument with my dd who will be 3 in two weeks about putting her hair up for dance. She refused, said it hurt and screamed like I was murdering her...  Over and over again we try with no luck. Got to dance and Miss Michelle put hair up and off she went with no drama. Grrrrrr!

She isn't scared about anything but me every time I ask her to do anything she complains " my arm hurts" or "my legs are ouchie"

Driving me Insane.

#20 Chelly_M

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:51 PM

So nice to hear I'm not alone. Throw a new baby and sleep deprivation into the mix as well and sometimes I'm grumpy as hell. Then dd picks up on my mood and is grumpy too.grrr. Oh, and how you can be having a great day, and then all of a sudden, it's like a switch is turned on, and suddenly my beautiful girl is a terror, just like that!    
7 1/2 months until she turns 4 cry1.gif




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