Jump to content

Really scared about this pregnancy
Is this normal?


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 eyesgreen

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:19 AM

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. Just before Christmas I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I'm so scared I'm going to lose this one and worried that at my 12 week scan they will tell me there's no baby. Has anyone else felt like this? I wish I could be more excited like I was with my first baby who is now 18 months.

#2 leisamd

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:24 AM

Very normal unfortunately. Once you've had a miscarriage the innocence about pregnancy is gone.  All you can do is hope...

#3 Bluemakede

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

I was the same, though could go through times where I was fine and just thought if it happens there's nothing I can do about it, which did help sometimes. The 2 appointments where they checked the heartbeat with Doppler before my 20 week scan I was waiting for them to tell me the baby was gone, same at the 20 week scan, was waiting to be told no baby. It's just the last couple of weeks that I've relaxed a little and am actually enjoying being pregnant.

I hope everything goes well for this pregnancy for you and you can hit that point soon of being excited about it.

#4 Koobie83

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

Definitely. There are plenty of us here who have miscarried before and/or have had scary episodes happen in this pregnancy to feel 'on edge'. I have lost two before this one, and at 14 weeks I had a small bleed and have been anxious ever since. I kept thinking that once I got to 20 weeks I would relax and start enjoying the pregnancy... then 24, then 28...
I'm only starting to relax now. Trust me, I've bombarded this forum with my stupid questions, anxieties and stresses. Everyone kept saying that once you feel movements you should relax... but the movements stressed me more because she didn't seem to be moving as much as others at the same gestation. I would also get conflicting information about how much she should be moving at that stage. Plus on top of that I've had other stress other than the baby to worry about such as work, a loss in the family and issues with DH.

The good news is the vast majority of people go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. You are likely to be one of them. Miscarriage happens to a lot of us and whilst we don't know why (and we often feel like blaming ourselves for things we have done) they do happen to so many of us but that's no reason why there's anything wrong with our pregnancies now.

Good luck and congratulations!!!

P.S. I've been told that it's perfectly normal to be worried about your baby, you're just being a Mum!

#5 Rolex

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before this pregnancy.  On the night I found out I was pregnant I even said to DH "We'll only lose this one too".  I really struggled through my first trimester and didn't really let myself get excited until I saw a perfect baby on my NT scan at 13 weeks.

I'm now 19 weeks and still have my moments.  My baby has just had 2 quiet days (I felt nothing), yet the previous 2 days he was really active.  By this morning I was starting to panic again, but then after 2 days of quiet he gave me a few good thumps this morning.  I have to remind myself he's still small enough to change position a lot which is why he could have been "quiet".

The innocence of pregnancy is most definitely gone.  Good luck OP.  Really hoping for you that all is great this time original.gif


#6 Jadey73

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:49 PM

OP, I could have written your post.  After a previous m/c and then virtually continuous bleeding in this pregnancy from 6.5wks up until about 24wks, it's been an anxious time to say the least..  I've thought I've lost this bub about 3 times so far due to moderate-heavy bleeds. I get worried if bub has quiet days and nearly went to ED a few days ago. But my little man seems to be fine in there - he is healthy and the bleeding has stopped. Had none of this with DD.

I try to take it a day at the time and felt more relieved when I got to 24wks as babies just start to become viable outside the uterus at that point, apparently. So like some PPs I've only recently started to relax and enjoy this pg.  I don't think those who haven't lost a bub previously fully understand what it's like in a subsequent pg. The innocence (and joy to a certain extent) are definitely lost. I hope you get a scan soon to reassure you a little - regular scans were a lifesaver for my headspace from 7-13wks pg.

Some previous advice on these forums which has helped me has been:
Take it a day at a time, or an hour at time if you need to on some days;
Be gentle on yourself, cut out things that trigger stress wherever you can (make up your own reasons!);
Do regular things for yourself to help you relax - bath, gentle walk, a special meal, etc. (the Circle and Bloom CDs/downloads have worked for me);
Know that you're doing the best you can to nurture your little bub and the rest really is out of your hands

You're definitely not alone in feeling scared! Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy OP  hhugs.gif

#7 Cooperdoo

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:29 AM

I'm finding it very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy due to miscarriage last year at 8 weeks. I am scrutinising all my symptoms and feeling very depressed when I don't feel any for awhile. I just can't wait to be far enough along so I can feel it moving so I know it's ok.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:56 AM

I haven't suffered a miscarriage it is suspected I had a chemical pregnancy in Jan last year but we will never know.  However my issues mean that getting pregnant is hard, that staying pregnant is hard and carrying to term could be hard.  I have been scared this whole pregnancy that something would go wrong because when your dr's are ready to send you to the IVF place very quickly and you know your chances are low, when you get pregnant without their help you start to think "ok when will it go wrong" (well I have been anyway)

#9 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM

DP

Edited by MrsLexiK, 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM.


#10 eyesgreen

Posted 13 February 2013 - 01:24 PM

Thank you lovely ladies for all your replies. I'm so sorry you have experienced losses too sad.gif . I guess we just have to take one day at a time. Take care all of you hheart.gif

#11 Nut

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

It's not easy. I lost my first pregnancy in a very very bad way. My second I actually thought would be OK and that the first one was just a one off, until I lost that one as well. I went on to have losses before actually having my son and I was extremely paranoid with his pregnancy.

All you can do is just.... Carry on. There is no point in anyone saying "Just relax" and "try not to worry" because these are things you do involuntarily for the most part. I hope you are able to have an early scan and see a little flickering heartbeat soon and feel more at ease with your pregnancy.



#12 Libster

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:49 PM

Yep I felt the same after 2 miscarriages. With this pregnancy, I was really worried until the 12 week scan and when that came back okay it really eased my mind. I hope your next scan helps to ease your worries too  original.gif

#13 Miss Bec

Posted 13 February 2013 - 05:11 PM

Yes, I can definately understand your anxiety and stress.

I'm just taking it one day at a time at the moment ... that's all I can do for now.

I like to read as many positive affirmations as I can and my two favourites are "Bad things dont always happen" and "Everything is fine until it officially isn't"

hugs to you x



#14 whisk_

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:53 PM

I had two prior losses and a long infertility journey before this bfp.  I still panic and worry and can't quite believe I'm pregnant, despite the little party going on in my protruding tum.  The earlier heartache has really impacted on my confidence.  I would definitely say what you are feeling is entirely normal!!

Each step along the way was a huge milestone for me, my 8 week viability scan, the 12 week scan, and succumbing to horrendous morning sickness was also reassuring.  I calmed down a little bit once I began to feel bub move, but I still count down the days to the next milestone, and to each ultrasound visit.  These days I count the days she stays in there, as I take comfort in knowing that each day in the oven means a better chance of survival should she come early.  Morbid, but I think it's not unreasonable when you have had prior loss.  

I don't have a lot of advice for you except to look forward, look at all the dates on your calendar and allow yourself a smile each time you get to one of them. If you find your anxiety and worry starts to overtake you, go and have a chat to a counsellor.  I ended up having a meltdown in my first 12 weeks when family would acknowledge the baby - I would even pretend it wasn't happening, because in the depths of my worry I managed to convince myself that acknowledging and being excited about the baby would have a direct tragic consequence and I would miscarry.  The logical side of me knew that was irrational but I couldn't shake it, so I finally went off to see the shrink which was enormously beneficial!  

Hang in there, you will feel better eventually, and take each day a step at a time.  Oh, and congrats!!!  Please feel free to get in touch if you want to.  

x




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.