Jump to content

Really scared about this pregnancy
Is this normal?


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 eyesgreen

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:19 AM

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. Just before Christmas I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I'm so scared I'm going to lose this one and worried that at my 12 week scan they will tell me there's no baby. Has anyone else felt like this? I wish I could be more excited like I was with my first baby who is now 18 months.

#2 leisamd

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:24 AM

Very normal unfortunately. Once you've had a miscarriage the innocence about pregnancy is gone.  All you can do is hope...

#3 Bluemakede

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

I was the same, though could go through times where I was fine and just thought if it happens there's nothing I can do about it, which did help sometimes. The 2 appointments where they checked the heartbeat with Doppler before my 20 week scan I was waiting for them to tell me the baby was gone, same at the 20 week scan, was waiting to be told no baby. It's just the last couple of weeks that I've relaxed a little and am actually enjoying being pregnant.

I hope everything goes well for this pregnancy for you and you can hit that point soon of being excited about it.

#4 Koobie83

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

Definitely. There are plenty of us here who have miscarried before and/or have had scary episodes happen in this pregnancy to feel 'on edge'. I have lost two before this one, and at 14 weeks I had a small bleed and have been anxious ever since. I kept thinking that once I got to 20 weeks I would relax and start enjoying the pregnancy... then 24, then 28...
I'm only starting to relax now. Trust me, I've bombarded this forum with my stupid questions, anxieties and stresses. Everyone kept saying that once you feel movements you should relax... but the movements stressed me more because she didn't seem to be moving as much as others at the same gestation. I would also get conflicting information about how much she should be moving at that stage. Plus on top of that I've had other stress other than the baby to worry about such as work, a loss in the family and issues with DH.

The good news is the vast majority of people go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. You are likely to be one of them. Miscarriage happens to a lot of us and whilst we don't know why (and we often feel like blaming ourselves for things we have done) they do happen to so many of us but that's no reason why there's anything wrong with our pregnancies now.

Good luck and congratulations!!!

P.S. I've been told that it's perfectly normal to be worried about your baby, you're just being a Mum!

#5 Rolex

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before this pregnancy.  On the night I found out I was pregnant I even said to DH "We'll only lose this one too".  I really struggled through my first trimester and didn't really let myself get excited until I saw a perfect baby on my NT scan at 13 weeks.

I'm now 19 weeks and still have my moments.  My baby has just had 2 quiet days (I felt nothing), yet the previous 2 days he was really active.  By this morning I was starting to panic again, but then after 2 days of quiet he gave me a few good thumps this morning.  I have to remind myself he's still small enough to change position a lot which is why he could have been "quiet".

The innocence of pregnancy is most definitely gone.  Good luck OP.  Really hoping for you that all is great this time original.gif


#6 Jadey73

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:49 PM

OP, I could have written your post.  After a previous m/c and then virtually continuous bleeding in this pregnancy from 6.5wks up until about 24wks, it's been an anxious time to say the least..  I've thought I've lost this bub about 3 times so far due to moderate-heavy bleeds. I get worried if bub has quiet days and nearly went to ED a few days ago. But my little man seems to be fine in there - he is healthy and the bleeding has stopped. Had none of this with DD.

I try to take it a day at the time and felt more relieved when I got to 24wks as babies just start to become viable outside the uterus at that point, apparently. So like some PPs I've only recently started to relax and enjoy this pg.  I don't think those who haven't lost a bub previously fully understand what it's like in a subsequent pg. The innocence (and joy to a certain extent) are definitely lost. I hope you get a scan soon to reassure you a little - regular scans were a lifesaver for my headspace from 7-13wks pg.

Some previous advice on these forums which has helped me has been:
Take it a day at a time, or an hour at time if you need to on some days;
Be gentle on yourself, cut out things that trigger stress wherever you can (make up your own reasons!);
Do regular things for yourself to help you relax - bath, gentle walk, a special meal, etc. (the Circle and Bloom CDs/downloads have worked for me);
Know that you're doing the best you can to nurture your little bub and the rest really is out of your hands

You're definitely not alone in feeling scared! Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy OP  hhugs.gif

#7 Cooperdoo

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:29 AM

I'm finding it very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy due to miscarriage last year at 8 weeks. I am scrutinising all my symptoms and feeling very depressed when I don't feel any for awhile. I just can't wait to be far enough along so I can feel it moving so I know it's ok.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:56 AM

I haven't suffered a miscarriage it is suspected I had a chemical pregnancy in Jan last year but we will never know.  However my issues mean that getting pregnant is hard, that staying pregnant is hard and carrying to term could be hard.  I have been scared this whole pregnancy that something would go wrong because when your dr's are ready to send you to the IVF place very quickly and you know your chances are low, when you get pregnant without their help you start to think "ok when will it go wrong" (well I have been anyway)

#9 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM

DP

Edited by MrsLexiK, 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM.


#10 eyesgreen

Posted 13 February 2013 - 01:24 PM

Thank you lovely ladies for all your replies. I'm so sorry you have experienced losses too sad.gif . I guess we just have to take one day at a time. Take care all of you hheart.gif

#11 Nut

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

It's not easy. I lost my first pregnancy in a very very bad way. My second I actually thought would be OK and that the first one was just a one off, until I lost that one as well. I went on to have losses before actually having my son and I was extremely paranoid with his pregnancy.

All you can do is just.... Carry on. There is no point in anyone saying "Just relax" and "try not to worry" because these are things you do involuntarily for the most part. I hope you are able to have an early scan and see a little flickering heartbeat soon and feel more at ease with your pregnancy.



#12 Libster

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:49 PM

Yep I felt the same after 2 miscarriages. With this pregnancy, I was really worried until the 12 week scan and when that came back okay it really eased my mind. I hope your next scan helps to ease your worries too  original.gif

#13 Miss Bec

Posted 13 February 2013 - 05:11 PM

Yes, I can definately understand your anxiety and stress.

I'm just taking it one day at a time at the moment ... that's all I can do for now.

I like to read as many positive affirmations as I can and my two favourites are "Bad things dont always happen" and "Everything is fine until it officially isn't"

hugs to you x



#14 whisk_

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:53 PM

I had two prior losses and a long infertility journey before this bfp.  I still panic and worry and can't quite believe I'm pregnant, despite the little party going on in my protruding tum.  The earlier heartache has really impacted on my confidence.  I would definitely say what you are feeling is entirely normal!!

Each step along the way was a huge milestone for me, my 8 week viability scan, the 12 week scan, and succumbing to horrendous morning sickness was also reassuring.  I calmed down a little bit once I began to feel bub move, but I still count down the days to the next milestone, and to each ultrasound visit.  These days I count the days she stays in there, as I take comfort in knowing that each day in the oven means a better chance of survival should she come early.  Morbid, but I think it's not unreasonable when you have had prior loss.  

I don't have a lot of advice for you except to look forward, look at all the dates on your calendar and allow yourself a smile each time you get to one of them. If you find your anxiety and worry starts to overtake you, go and have a chat to a counsellor.  I ended up having a meltdown in my first 12 weeks when family would acknowledge the baby - I would even pretend it wasn't happening, because in the depths of my worry I managed to convince myself that acknowledging and being excited about the baby would have a direct tragic consequence and I would miscarry.  The logical side of me knew that was irrational but I couldn't shake it, so I finally went off to see the shrink which was enormously beneficial!  

Hang in there, you will feel better eventually, and take each day a step at a time.  Oh, and congrats!!!  Please feel free to get in touch if you want to.  

x




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Baby survives five days alone

He lay with his mother for up to five days after she died of a suspected drug overdose - and survived.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.