Jump to content

Really scared about this pregnancy
Is this normal?

  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 eyesgreen

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:19 AM

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. Just before Christmas I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I'm so scared I'm going to lose this one and worried that at my 12 week scan they will tell me there's no baby. Has anyone else felt like this? I wish I could be more excited like I was with my first baby who is now 18 months.

#2 leisamd

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:24 AM

Very normal unfortunately. Once you've had a miscarriage the innocence about pregnancy is gone.  All you can do is hope...

#3 Bluemakede

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

I was the same, though could go through times where I was fine and just thought if it happens there's nothing I can do about it, which did help sometimes. The 2 appointments where they checked the heartbeat with Doppler before my 20 week scan I was waiting for them to tell me the baby was gone, same at the 20 week scan, was waiting to be told no baby. It's just the last couple of weeks that I've relaxed a little and am actually enjoying being pregnant.

I hope everything goes well for this pregnancy for you and you can hit that point soon of being excited about it.

#4 Koobie83

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

Definitely. There are plenty of us here who have miscarried before and/or have had scary episodes happen in this pregnancy to feel 'on edge'. I have lost two before this one, and at 14 weeks I had a small bleed and have been anxious ever since. I kept thinking that once I got to 20 weeks I would relax and start enjoying the pregnancy... then 24, then 28...
I'm only starting to relax now. Trust me, I've bombarded this forum with my stupid questions, anxieties and stresses. Everyone kept saying that once you feel movements you should relax... but the movements stressed me more because she didn't seem to be moving as much as others at the same gestation. I would also get conflicting information about how much she should be moving at that stage. Plus on top of that I've had other stress other than the baby to worry about such as work, a loss in the family and issues with DH.

The good news is the vast majority of people go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. You are likely to be one of them. Miscarriage happens to a lot of us and whilst we don't know why (and we often feel like blaming ourselves for things we have done) they do happen to so many of us but that's no reason why there's anything wrong with our pregnancies now.

Good luck and congratulations!!!

P.S. I've been told that it's perfectly normal to be worried about your baby, you're just being a Mum!

#5 Rolex

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before this pregnancy.  On the night I found out I was pregnant I even said to DH "We'll only lose this one too".  I really struggled through my first trimester and didn't really let myself get excited until I saw a perfect baby on my NT scan at 13 weeks.

I'm now 19 weeks and still have my moments.  My baby has just had 2 quiet days (I felt nothing), yet the previous 2 days he was really active.  By this morning I was starting to panic again, but then after 2 days of quiet he gave me a few good thumps this morning.  I have to remind myself he's still small enough to change position a lot which is why he could have been "quiet".

The innocence of pregnancy is most definitely gone.  Good luck OP.  Really hoping for you that all is great this time original.gif

#6 Jadey73

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:49 PM

OP, I could have written your post.  After a previous m/c and then virtually continuous bleeding in this pregnancy from 6.5wks up until about 24wks, it's been an anxious time to say the least..  I've thought I've lost this bub about 3 times so far due to moderate-heavy bleeds. I get worried if bub has quiet days and nearly went to ED a few days ago. But my little man seems to be fine in there - he is healthy and the bleeding has stopped. Had none of this with DD.

I try to take it a day at the time and felt more relieved when I got to 24wks as babies just start to become viable outside the uterus at that point, apparently. So like some PPs I've only recently started to relax and enjoy this pg.  I don't think those who haven't lost a bub previously fully understand what it's like in a subsequent pg. The innocence (and joy to a certain extent) are definitely lost. I hope you get a scan soon to reassure you a little - regular scans were a lifesaver for my headspace from 7-13wks pg.

Some previous advice on these forums which has helped me has been:
Take it a day at a time, or an hour at time if you need to on some days;
Be gentle on yourself, cut out things that trigger stress wherever you can (make up your own reasons!);
Do regular things for yourself to help you relax - bath, gentle walk, a special meal, etc. (the Circle and Bloom CDs/downloads have worked for me);
Know that you're doing the best you can to nurture your little bub and the rest really is out of your hands

You're definitely not alone in feeling scared! Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy OP  hhugs.gif

#7 Cooperdoo

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:29 AM

I'm finding it very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy due to miscarriage last year at 8 weeks. I am scrutinising all my symptoms and feeling very depressed when I don't feel any for awhile. I just can't wait to be far enough along so I can feel it moving so I know it's ok.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:56 AM

I haven't suffered a miscarriage it is suspected I had a chemical pregnancy in Jan last year but we will never know.  However my issues mean that getting pregnant is hard, that staying pregnant is hard and carrying to term could be hard.  I have been scared this whole pregnancy that something would go wrong because when your dr's are ready to send you to the IVF place very quickly and you know your chances are low, when you get pregnant without their help you start to think "ok when will it go wrong" (well I have been anyway)

#9 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM


Edited by MrsLexiK, 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM.

#10 eyesgreen

Posted 13 February 2013 - 01:24 PM

Thank you lovely ladies for all your replies. I'm so sorry you have experienced losses too sad.gif . I guess we just have to take one day at a time. Take care all of you hheart.gif

#11 Nut

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

It's not easy. I lost my first pregnancy in a very very bad way. My second I actually thought would be OK and that the first one was just a one off, until I lost that one as well. I went on to have losses before actually having my son and I was extremely paranoid with his pregnancy.

All you can do is just.... Carry on. There is no point in anyone saying "Just relax" and "try not to worry" because these are things you do involuntarily for the most part. I hope you are able to have an early scan and see a little flickering heartbeat soon and feel more at ease with your pregnancy.

#12 Libster

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:49 PM

Yep I felt the same after 2 miscarriages. With this pregnancy, I was really worried until the 12 week scan and when that came back okay it really eased my mind. I hope your next scan helps to ease your worries too  original.gif

#13 Miss Bec

Posted 13 February 2013 - 05:11 PM

Yes, I can definately understand your anxiety and stress.

I'm just taking it one day at a time at the moment ... that's all I can do for now.

I like to read as many positive affirmations as I can and my two favourites are "Bad things dont always happen" and "Everything is fine until it officially isn't"

hugs to you x

#14 whisk_

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:53 PM

I had two prior losses and a long infertility journey before this bfp.  I still panic and worry and can't quite believe I'm pregnant, despite the little party going on in my protruding tum.  The earlier heartache has really impacted on my confidence.  I would definitely say what you are feeling is entirely normal!!

Each step along the way was a huge milestone for me, my 8 week viability scan, the 12 week scan, and succumbing to horrendous morning sickness was also reassuring.  I calmed down a little bit once I began to feel bub move, but I still count down the days to the next milestone, and to each ultrasound visit.  These days I count the days she stays in there, as I take comfort in knowing that each day in the oven means a better chance of survival should she come early.  Morbid, but I think it's not unreasonable when you have had prior loss.  

I don't have a lot of advice for you except to look forward, look at all the dates on your calendar and allow yourself a smile each time you get to one of them. If you find your anxiety and worry starts to overtake you, go and have a chat to a counsellor.  I ended up having a meltdown in my first 12 weeks when family would acknowledge the baby - I would even pretend it wasn't happening, because in the depths of my worry I managed to convince myself that acknowledging and being excited about the baby would have a direct tragic consequence and I would miscarry.  The logical side of me knew that was irrational but I couldn't shake it, so I finally went off to see the shrink which was enormously beneficial!  

Hang in there, you will feel better eventually, and take each day a step at a time.  Oh, and congrats!!!  Please feel free to get in touch if you want to.  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

Win one of two ABC Shop prize packs in time for Christmas

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.