Jump to content

Really scared about this pregnancy
Is this normal?


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 eyesgreen

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:19 AM

I'm nearly 8 weeks pregnant. Just before Christmas I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I'm so scared I'm going to lose this one and worried that at my 12 week scan they will tell me there's no baby. Has anyone else felt like this? I wish I could be more excited like I was with my first baby who is now 18 months.

#2 leisamd

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:24 AM

Very normal unfortunately. Once you've had a miscarriage the innocence about pregnancy is gone.  All you can do is hope...

#3 Bluemakede

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

I was the same, though could go through times where I was fine and just thought if it happens there's nothing I can do about it, which did help sometimes. The 2 appointments where they checked the heartbeat with Doppler before my 20 week scan I was waiting for them to tell me the baby was gone, same at the 20 week scan, was waiting to be told no baby. It's just the last couple of weeks that I've relaxed a little and am actually enjoying being pregnant.

I hope everything goes well for this pregnancy for you and you can hit that point soon of being excited about it.

#4 Koobie83

Posted 07 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

Definitely. There are plenty of us here who have miscarried before and/or have had scary episodes happen in this pregnancy to feel 'on edge'. I have lost two before this one, and at 14 weeks I had a small bleed and have been anxious ever since. I kept thinking that once I got to 20 weeks I would relax and start enjoying the pregnancy... then 24, then 28...
I'm only starting to relax now. Trust me, I've bombarded this forum with my stupid questions, anxieties and stresses. Everyone kept saying that once you feel movements you should relax... but the movements stressed me more because she didn't seem to be moving as much as others at the same gestation. I would also get conflicting information about how much she should be moving at that stage. Plus on top of that I've had other stress other than the baby to worry about such as work, a loss in the family and issues with DH.

The good news is the vast majority of people go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. You are likely to be one of them. Miscarriage happens to a lot of us and whilst we don't know why (and we often feel like blaming ourselves for things we have done) they do happen to so many of us but that's no reason why there's anything wrong with our pregnancies now.

Good luck and congratulations!!!

P.S. I've been told that it's perfectly normal to be worried about your baby, you're just being a Mum!

#5 Rolex

Posted 07 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

I had 3 consecutive miscarriages before this pregnancy.  On the night I found out I was pregnant I even said to DH "We'll only lose this one too".  I really struggled through my first trimester and didn't really let myself get excited until I saw a perfect baby on my NT scan at 13 weeks.

I'm now 19 weeks and still have my moments.  My baby has just had 2 quiet days (I felt nothing), yet the previous 2 days he was really active.  By this morning I was starting to panic again, but then after 2 days of quiet he gave me a few good thumps this morning.  I have to remind myself he's still small enough to change position a lot which is why he could have been "quiet".

The innocence of pregnancy is most definitely gone.  Good luck OP.  Really hoping for you that all is great this time original.gif


#6 Jadey73

Posted 07 February 2013 - 11:49 PM

OP, I could have written your post.  After a previous m/c and then virtually continuous bleeding in this pregnancy from 6.5wks up until about 24wks, it's been an anxious time to say the least..  I've thought I've lost this bub about 3 times so far due to moderate-heavy bleeds. I get worried if bub has quiet days and nearly went to ED a few days ago. But my little man seems to be fine in there - he is healthy and the bleeding has stopped. Had none of this with DD.

I try to take it a day at the time and felt more relieved when I got to 24wks as babies just start to become viable outside the uterus at that point, apparently. So like some PPs I've only recently started to relax and enjoy this pg.  I don't think those who haven't lost a bub previously fully understand what it's like in a subsequent pg. The innocence (and joy to a certain extent) are definitely lost. I hope you get a scan soon to reassure you a little - regular scans were a lifesaver for my headspace from 7-13wks pg.

Some previous advice on these forums which has helped me has been:
Take it a day at a time, or an hour at time if you need to on some days;
Be gentle on yourself, cut out things that trigger stress wherever you can (make up your own reasons!);
Do regular things for yourself to help you relax - bath, gentle walk, a special meal, etc. (the Circle and Bloom CDs/downloads have worked for me);
Know that you're doing the best you can to nurture your little bub and the rest really is out of your hands

You're definitely not alone in feeling scared! Wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy OP  hhugs.gif

#7 Cooperdoo

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:29 AM

I'm finding it very difficult to enjoy this pregnancy due to miscarriage last year at 8 weeks. I am scrutinising all my symptoms and feeling very depressed when I don't feel any for awhile. I just can't wait to be far enough along so I can feel it moving so I know it's ok.

#8 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 11:56 AM

I haven't suffered a miscarriage it is suspected I had a chemical pregnancy in Jan last year but we will never know.  However my issues mean that getting pregnant is hard, that staying pregnant is hard and carrying to term could be hard.  I have been scared this whole pregnancy that something would go wrong because when your dr's are ready to send you to the IVF place very quickly and you know your chances are low, when you get pregnant without their help you start to think "ok when will it go wrong" (well I have been anyway)

#9 MrsLexiK

Posted 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM

DP

Edited by MrsLexiK, 08 February 2013 - 12:03 PM.


#10 eyesgreen

Posted 13 February 2013 - 01:24 PM

Thank you lovely ladies for all your replies. I'm so sorry you have experienced losses too sad.gif . I guess we just have to take one day at a time. Take care all of you hheart.gif

#11 Nut

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:07 PM

It's not easy. I lost my first pregnancy in a very very bad way. My second I actually thought would be OK and that the first one was just a one off, until I lost that one as well. I went on to have losses before actually having my son and I was extremely paranoid with his pregnancy.

All you can do is just.... Carry on. There is no point in anyone saying "Just relax" and "try not to worry" because these are things you do involuntarily for the most part. I hope you are able to have an early scan and see a little flickering heartbeat soon and feel more at ease with your pregnancy.



#12 Libster

Posted 13 February 2013 - 02:49 PM

Yep I felt the same after 2 miscarriages. With this pregnancy, I was really worried until the 12 week scan and when that came back okay it really eased my mind. I hope your next scan helps to ease your worries too  original.gif

#13 Miss Bec

Posted 13 February 2013 - 05:11 PM

Yes, I can definately understand your anxiety and stress.

I'm just taking it one day at a time at the moment ... that's all I can do for now.

I like to read as many positive affirmations as I can and my two favourites are "Bad things dont always happen" and "Everything is fine until it officially isn't"

hugs to you x



#14 whisk_

Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:53 PM

I had two prior losses and a long infertility journey before this bfp.  I still panic and worry and can't quite believe I'm pregnant, despite the little party going on in my protruding tum.  The earlier heartache has really impacted on my confidence.  I would definitely say what you are feeling is entirely normal!!

Each step along the way was a huge milestone for me, my 8 week viability scan, the 12 week scan, and succumbing to horrendous morning sickness was also reassuring.  I calmed down a little bit once I began to feel bub move, but I still count down the days to the next milestone, and to each ultrasound visit.  These days I count the days she stays in there, as I take comfort in knowing that each day in the oven means a better chance of survival should she come early.  Morbid, but I think it's not unreasonable when you have had prior loss.  

I don't have a lot of advice for you except to look forward, look at all the dates on your calendar and allow yourself a smile each time you get to one of them. If you find your anxiety and worry starts to overtake you, go and have a chat to a counsellor.  I ended up having a meltdown in my first 12 weeks when family would acknowledge the baby - I would even pretend it wasn't happening, because in the depths of my worry I managed to convince myself that acknowledging and being excited about the baby would have a direct tragic consequence and I would miscarry.  The logical side of me knew that was irrational but I couldn't shake it, so I finally went off to see the shrink which was enormously beneficial!  

Hang in there, you will feel better eventually, and take each day a step at a time.  Oh, and congrats!!!  Please feel free to get in touch if you want to.  

x




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Mums reveal their nappy bag essentials

Ever wondered what other mums carry in their nappy bags? We have, so we asked mums to tell us their must-have nappy bag items.

Toddler died because he wasn't given antibiotics soon enough

A 15-month-old boy would almost certainly be alive today if doctors had given him antibiotics sooner, a coroner has ruled.

VIDEO: moment a toddler falls on to train tracks in Melbourne

Shocking footage has emerged capturing the moment a pram carrying a toddler rolled off a platform and onto train tracks in suburban Melbourne.

Sold on natural birth? Read the fine print

In the excitement and anticipation of a first pregnancy, I ignored the fine print: some women, some of the time.

Child with alcoholic mum who drank while pregnant won't win pay-out

A young child is not entitled to criminal injuries compensation after her mother drank excessively while pregnant.

Superbugs killing India's babies, posing wider threat

A deadly epidemic that could have global implications is quietly sweeping India, tens of thousands of newborns dying because antibiotics no longer work.

Can you teach a toddler to sleep in?

Parents share their tips on getting their early risers to sleep in, even for just a little bit longer.

Keeping your relationship on track as new parents

About 70 per cent of couples experience a slump in their relationship within three years of having a baby. Here's how we tried to get back on track.

America's favourite baby names of 2014

Americans are turning to television, Netflix and sports for ideas for what to name their wee ones.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.