Jump to content

Selling an unused gift. WDYT?


  • Please log in to reply
74 replies to this topic

#1 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:28 AM

About 3 years ago MIL bought my children a sand pit.  It is one of the wooden ones with the roof.  (Was bought as a Christmas present, and she told me she got it on special for $80)

Anyway my kids used it for about 6 months, and then have showed no interest in it since, so it has just been sat in the corner of my garden doing nothing.  We are moving in about a month and I told DP that I am going to go through the house and sell on ebay all the things that are no longer used.  He asked if that included the sand pit, and I said yes.  He then proceded to tell me that I was not allowed to sell it as his mother would get very angry, and that she had said a couple of weeks ago that if my kids were not using it could she have it for her house for her other grandkids to play with.  For the record she also bought the other grandkids the same sand pit when she bought my grand kids theirs, and they destroyed theres within a matter of months.  I have also in the past given MIL things when she realised that I was going to sell them(eg I once gave her a dvd player that we no longer used) and then found out later that she had immediately given them to her other son has his family.  (Who BTW certainly aren't that short of money that they cannot afford a dvd player)

I told DP that if I wanted to sell the sand pit then I should be able to, and he said that I should give it back to her.  DP has always let his mother walk all over him.  She babysits her other sons kids on a regular basis, and has not once offered to babysit mine.

So WWYD?  We could really use the extra cash, even if it is just $20, but DP basically had a full on go at me and told me I had no right to sell it and that his mother would say the same.

Thanks

Edited by KylieMin0gue, 07 February 2013 - 07:29 AM.


#2 Farmgal

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:39 AM

For the stress that it is likely to cause you and DH I would not bother selling it. For only $20 it is probably not worth it. I would just give it to MIL and forget about it.

I do understand your annoyance with her giving things away, but in this case as she gave it to your kids in the first place I would just forget about it.

And or the record I sell anything that is not tied down on ebay!

Edited by farmgal, 07 February 2013 - 07:45 AM.


#3 B-B-M

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:40 AM

I don't see any issue in selling it. I mean isn't it better to have the money and put it towards something needed than have a sandpit in the yard that is just taking up space?

But - i mean if its going to cause such a big issue with DP then i wouldn't bother. $20 isn't worth the arguments really.

FTR i will give away or sell my kids  toys when they no longer use them. I don't have the space to keep things. Any money gets put into bank accounts/used if i really need it. Family member know, i've mentioned it before. They don't care, they certainly don't want "presents" back!

#4 Lady Lovely Locks

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:44 AM

I would ordinarily say just sell it, but seeing as she has requested it be returned, I would save the headache and just give it back.... not work straining any relationship over $20.

#5 Peppery

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:47 AM

To prevent family fall out I would give the sand pit to your MIL

I have previously sold items I have received for DD after she is finished playing with them. Given these we from from parents and brother whom I am very close to but they have never been upset that I have sold them.

#6 elmo_mum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:51 AM

i would

mil has bought quiet a few things for us, and shes happy for us to sell em if we no longer use em

#7 eigne

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:51 AM

Usually I would just sell it but I think in this case that will cause more hassle than its monetary value.

#8 belsy

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:53 AM

For me, I would always give it away to family first (if wanted) rather than sell it.

IMO, give it to the grandmother instead of having a battle of wills with your husband, doesn't seem worth it.

#9 The Falcon

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:53 AM

Given the fact that she has told you she wants it back if you aren't using it, I think it would be wrong to sell it

#10 ~sydblue~

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:55 AM

QUOTE (kate789 @ 07/02/2013, 08:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Given the fact that she has told you she wants it back if you aren't using it, I think it would be wrong to sell it

But it is not the MIL's anymore. It was given as a gift. So the OP should be able to sell it and buy the kids something else they will use. When a gift is given, the giver has no say any more.

#11 The Falcon

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:57 AM

QUOTE
But it is not the MIL's anymore. It was given as a gift. So the OP should be able to sell it and buy the kids something else they will use. When a gift is given, the giver has no say any more.


I agree sydblue and probably didn't word my reply very well.  The OP is well within her rights to sell it, but I think it would be the wrong decision for family relationships if she were to do so

#12 Therese

Posted 07 February 2013 - 07:58 AM

I wouldn't sell it as the fallout from selling it wouldn't be worth it to  me.

#13 71Cath

Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:00 AM

QUOTE (Therese @ 07/02/2013, 08:58 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't sell it as the fallout from selling it wouldn't be worth it to  me.

Exactly


#14 JustBeige

Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:02 AM

Its only $20 and honestly once the ebay fees come out its even less.   If it was $200, then that would make me argue with DH a bit more.  I think this a "pickyour battles" moment.

I would just give it back to her and wipe my hands of it tbh.    I would then make a mental note to never give stuff to her that I dont want trashed / given to BIL and anything she gives to my kids would be a 'loan' not a gift.

I think you are letting the other issues that she causes in your relationship interfer with common sense in this one.


btw, DH would be doing ALL the organising in regards getting it back to his mums.

Edited by JustBeige, 07 February 2013 - 08:09 AM.


#15 MrsLexiK

Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:21 AM

I probably ask my family if they wanted it first anyway before I tried to sell it.  But then I hate putting things on eBay or gumtree it is such a PITA especially for $20.

#16 Soontobegran

Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:46 AM

If I thought that mine or other children would get enjoyment out of it being at MIL's house then it would definitely go there.

I know it is in theory yours to dispose of at your will but sometimes other factors come into play and I think this is one of those times.



#17 Julie3Girls

Posted 07 February 2013 - 08:50 AM

Given the small amount you would probably get for it, I'd simply give it back to your MIL. It's a large object, your MIL would probably notice it gone, and sounds like it would get used by the grandkids. Just wouldn't be worth the grief of selling it and dealing with an upset MIL and DH.

Other things .. I'd make sure it wasn't mentioned when I was getting rid of stuff. Eg, something like the DVD player ... don't even mention it, just go ahead and sell it. Don't offer it. Simple really.

#18 Phascogale

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

Can you leave it with the house when you move - mainly to avoid having to move it?

Although with the bigger picture it's probably better for family relations to give to to your mother in law if it's only going to get you $20.

However because your MIL is the way she is and how this has come about, I'd actually be tempted to keep the sandpit just to spite her.  And who knows, your kids may decide that they do want to play in it.

So just take it with you to the new house (because either way your husband is going to have to move it) and if your MIL comments on it, just reiterate that she gave it to your kids and they may use it in the future.  It's not your problem that her other grandkids have trashed theirs and are likely to do the same with this one.

QUOTE
Other things .. I'd make sure it wasn't mentioned when I was getting rid of stuff. Eg, something like the DVD player ... don't even mention it, just go ahead and sell it. Don't offer it. Simple really.
I agree with this.

#19 KylieferalMin0gue

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:31 AM

QUOTE (Phascogale @ 07/02/2013, 09:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Can you leave it with the house when you move - mainly to avoid having to move it?

Although with the bigger picture it's probably better for family relations to give to to your mother in law if it's only going to get you $20.

However because your MIL is the way she is and how this has come about, I'd actually be tempted to keep the sandpit just to spite her.  And who knows, your kids may decide that they do want to play in it.

So just take it with you to the new house (because either way your husband is going to have to move it) and if your MIL comments on it, just reiterate that she gave it to your kids and they may use it in the future.  It's not your problem that her other grandkids have trashed theirs and are likely to do the same with this one.

I agree with this.


I was just thinking before that I might do this.  I will move it to the new place, and the kids may take interest in it again one day down the track.  MIL will continually comment until sand is put in there so I will have to set it up to make sure it appears that the kids are using it.  But I would much rather do that than give it back to her.

#20 Nepheline

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:38 AM

QUOTE (KylieMin0gue @ 07/02/2013, 10:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I was just thinking before that I might do this.  I will move it to the new place, and the kids may take interest in it again one day down the track.  MIL will continually comment until sand is put in there so I will have to set it up to make sure it appears that the kids are using it.  But I would much rather do that than give it back to her.


Seriously? You really don't like her do you? So it's not about the twenty dollars you could get if you sold it, it's about getting one over on the MIL.

#21 dolcengabbana

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:41 AM

If its going to upset your MIL and your DH just give it back to her. Life is too short to knowingly cause further angst in life.

#22 Moffetta

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:45 AM

So you will take it to your new house and pretend that the kids are using it just to spite your mil?

#23 Genabee

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:50 AM

You've done well to have it this long!

I go through DD's toys and clothes every 6 months (if not sooner) and if she hasn't used it in that time frame, it goes.

Everyone who gives her anything knows that is how we operate. Apart from the fact that we don't have the room to keep everything, I also think she learns a lesson in it - not everyone is as fortunate as she is to have such luxury items.

I say sell it. And tell your DH to pull his head in. It was given as a gift - not on loan or with conditions. It is not up to your MIL to decide what to do with it.

#24 Oriental lily

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:56 AM

I would give it back to her.
Support your DH gor sure.

#25 Ally'smum

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:57 AM

I am all for getting one up on the MIL but it probably depends on the whole dynamics of the family.

I would give things away to anyone in my family before I sold them, but I would never consider giving the in-laws anything.

The other option is giving it to a friend with kids who might use it, that way it gets used and you didn't 'profit' from her gift.

How did your DH feel about the dvd giveaway?




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

eBay jacket may hold clue to murdered girl's identity

A jacket similar to the one found with the remains of a brutally murdered little girl in South Australia has been identified on eBay.

New mum forced back to work early due to paid parental leave 'technicality'

Shelley Parker had to keep driving buses until the date her baby was due and will have to rush back to work at the end of this week after being denied paid parental leave on a "technicality".

Pregnant Amanda Palmer poses naked for book drive

It has to be the most original way ever of promoting a children's book donation day.

The conception dilemma facing many parents today

Some parents who conceived through a sperm donor will be wary of telling the child, while others prefer to deal with it early on. But recent research suggests it makes little difference either way.

The wedding photo the bridesmaid would rather forget

We've probably all seen a passed-out bridesmaid at one wedding or another, but it usually happens towards the end of the night.

Pregnant TV meteorologist takes on haters

Pregnant TV meteorologist Katie Fehlinger has hit back at haters who called her a "sausage in casing".

Honest words from first-time mums

I didn't want to say anything negative to my pregnant friend, but I wish I'd been more honest.

Adorable baby experiences rain for the first time, couldn't be happier

Harper had seen rain from the comfort of indoors before, but had never had the pleasure of being outside and experiencing it first hand.

What it's really like to start a family in your fifties

Many people suppose that it must be much more tiring to have a baby in middle age, but all the mothers in the playground look exhausted, whatever their age.

'Biggest hypocrite ever': Josh Duggar admits to Ashley Madison account

An American reality TV star has been busted with a cheating website account, according to US media.

Long recovery ahead for girl hit by car weeks after baby brother's death

A little girl is more alert and starting to talk after being hit by a car a week ago, but still faces a long recovery.

How to react when a toddler lies

Q: My almost-3-year-old is starting to figure out that he can lie when asked if he ripped the book, threw the food, hit his brother, etc. Totally normal, I know. How do we respond?

The circular experience of a Centrelink client

A mum-to-be experiences the frustration of dealing with Centrelink, myGov and everything in between.

Kelly Clarkson announces live on stage: 'I'm pregnant!'

Singer Kelly Clarkson has announced she is pregnant with her second child during a concert in Los Angeles.

Hack

How to search the leaked Ashley Madison data

At least three sites are republishing Ashley Madison's user data on the public-facing internet.

Mum dances her way through labour

There are a fair few ways to distract yourself and beat pains while in labour, but it's probably a rare woman who chooses her dance her way through it.

'Rest in peace, my little lion': premmie baby Jacob passes away

Baby Jacob, whose photo of him born at just 27 weeks was deemed 'too graphic' for a fundraising site, has died.

Mum killed three young sons 'to help her daughter', prosecutor says

Niall Pilkington's death last summer apparently raised little alarm in Bellefontaine, Ohio. Tragic accidents happen, after all.

Shorter women have shorter pregnancies: study

When a group of researchers studied nearly 3500 mothers and their babies, they noticed a curious pattern.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The worst 20 minutes of my life

Thirty seconds was all it took to turn a shopping trip into my worst nightmare.

Top baby names for England and Wales in 2014

George has overtaken William in the official rankings of most popular British baby names - and Game of Thrones is still having an impact on parents.

Baseball or baby? Dad's tough choice

What's more important, a baby or a baseball? That's a question this dad seems to struggle with.

Childbirth choices: five star or free?

It's not often you hear the words labour and luxury in the same sentence but for some, a 5-star start to parenthood is exactly what they seek. And with a number of private hospitals now offering packages which include a post-birth stay at a sumptuous first class resort, many mums are choosing to recover in style.

'Where did your boobies go, Mummy?' and other soul-destroying comments from kids

Most women carry a smidge of baby weight after giving birth. If you're lucky enough to have an older child in the house, they can keep you on track with your weight loss goals.

Do you read me, baby?

Is it too soon to be reading to my two-month-old son? If not, what should I read?

Minimising sibling rivalry when you've got a baby

Sibling rivalry is an act of competition, but if your children feel involved and special, this type of jealousy will be minimised.

Will studying on maternity leave take you away from your most important job?

I remember when I was trying to decide if I could combine motherhood and furthering my university education.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

Preschooler hit by car shortly after baby brother's death

A mother has had a frantic race to the hospital after her daughter was hit by a car, just four weeks after her infant son died.

Gay couple and Thai surrogate in custody tug-of-war

A six-month-old baby girl is trapped in the Thai capital in a bitter custody wrangle between her Thai surrogate mother and her biological father.

Couple denied IVF over parenting concerns

A mother of six has been denied access to IVF treatment in order to have another child over concerns about her parenting skills.

The book that promises to put your children to sleep

Exhausted parents from around the world are singing the praises of a "miracle" book which promises to put even the most restless child to sleep in just minutes.

5 things every parent who feels guilty needs to know

Parenthood can make you feel bad, but you're not alone.

Royals criticise 'dangerous' attempts to photograph Prince George

The British royal family criticized paparazzi on Friday for what it called their increasingly dangerous attempts to photograph young Prince George.

'No jab, no play' rule to cover Victorian kindergartens and childcare centres

"Anti-vaxxers" face not being able to send their children to childcare centres or kindergarten if they refuse to have them immunised.

15,000 birthing kits on their way to developing countries

Giving birth in a hospital surrounded by medical experts is tough enough, but some women deliver babies without a clean sheet to lie on.

Photo of premmie 'too graphic', fundraising site says

When their son Jacob was born at just 27 weeks, Christina and Jeff Hinks were thrown into an uncertain world.

The latest Bugaboo collections: cool chevron and runner prams

Bugaboo sure likes to keep things fresh, and with the Australian spring/summer season coming up, there are two new Bugaboo pram releases.

Making room for two in the bed

Mum's room or their own room? Cot or bassinets? Deciding where twins will sleep can be tricky.

 

FREE TICKET

See Hi-5 LIVE in Sydney!

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.