Jump to content

Having D&C tomorrow
feeling devastated


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 canary2010

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:45 PM

Hello

I'm not even sure why I feel compelled to write this post but I think I just have to get this out and have my pity party...

Last week I had a scan had 6 weeks 3 days, and an embryo couldn't be seen, just a yolk and gestional sac. Being an IVF pregnancy (my first cycle), there was no doubt about dates, so I knew things weren't looking good. Today I had another scan, at 7 weeks and 2 days. No embryo. The FS said the embryo stopped growing somewhere around 5 weeks and a bit.

I'm just devastated.

I have been diagnosed with low ovarian reserve and I was a very poor responder, only 2 eggs after been on very high doses of menopur and gonal F. This resulted in one perfect looking embryo that was transferred. I was so happy to be pregnant at last after trying 18 cycles naturally without any luck. I am 36 and have a DD who has just turned 2 ( and was conceived naturally) and want more than anything to have another child.

I'm just absolutely terrified that this is not going to happen, regardless of IVF.

Sorry for blurting all this out. I just wish this little bub was meant to be, we were all ready and excited and relieved but obvoiusly it's not meant to be. I'm having a D&C tomorrow, which I'm dreading but I also just want this to be over.

Thanks for listening.

Canary

Edited by canary2010, 06 February 2013 - 08:46 PM.


#2 Purelle

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

First of all big hugs. The actual d&c for me was not that bad. I'm sorry for your loss. sad.gif

#3 Chasing*Rainbows

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

Hi OP. Sorry to hear of your loss. Although never been through IVF I've had a few miscarriages which resulted in having to have D&C's. Its a heartbreaking time. Be gentle with yourself.

#4 TBen

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I'm really sorry for your loss. Don't feel bad for having a pity party - it's always helpful to let it out.

Best of luck for tomorrow - be kind to yourself.  bbighug.gif

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

I'm so sorry. I was in a simar situation after my second IVF attempt (although I had first seen a heartbeat and then later not) and I was absolutely devastated.

I was dreading the D&C, and while the anaesthetic knocked me around quite badly, it was actually not as I had feared at all.

For what it is worth, I had a happy ending, with DD being born after several more cycles when I was 38 and DS nearly 5.

Don't give up, but take the time to grieve before you leap back into IVF.

#6 Fillyjonk

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:06 PM

I'm sorry OP. What a devastating turn of events.

Like others, my D&C was okay and the physical recovery was relatively quick. I hope you have the same experience tomorrow.



#7 bree18

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

OP, so sorry to hear of your loss. I miscarried in December after my second IVF cycle and I too chose to have a D&C. The D&C was actually very straightforward for me however I did have a big cry in recovery afterwards (and the weeks after). As PP's have said, take care of yourself and take time to grieve if you need it. Good luck for future cycles.

Edited by bree18, 06 February 2013 - 09:11 PM.


#8 Chelli

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I am so sorry for your loss sad.gif

#9 au*lit

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

sad.gif

I haven't been through IVF but did have a D&C right before Christmas. It sucked. I wanted to cancel Christmas (and really part of me wishes I had). I'm still feeling slightly messed up but I'm in a much better place than I was a month ago. I'm still not sure if I'm willing to try again (we do already have one wonderful DS).

Physically the D&C wasn't too bad. I did bleed for a week and a half and had mild period type pain for a weeks. My first period after was a bit odd too. Fortunately everyone at the hospital and my OB's office was really kind through the whole thing and afterwards.

The D&C was actually much less painful than the one natural miscarriage that I have had.

Not sure what else to say, but you're not alone.

#10 harriet15

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

Hi there, I just want to say I'm so sorry.
I had a natural miscarriage in January, and I really admire you for being able to talk about it, I have really struggled to even do that. I completely understand your devastation.

Take care of yourself, and again I'm so sorry.

Edited by harriet15, 07 February 2013 - 02:04 PM.


#11 hillplain

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

Hi OP,

As i type this I hope that you are recovering from your D&C. Unfortunatly whilst reading your post I understand only too well what you mean. I am 36 a poor responder have done big doses of menopur and gonal and icsi. Have also had two IVF losses. Only thing is I have no children....

I hope that things brighten for you and that you find a way to deal with this hard time. My thoughts are with you and your family. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Do whatever makes things better for YOU!

#12 canary2010

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support and for sharing your experiences with me. I was very touched to read all of your stories and you helped me to feel less alone during this dreadful experience.

I had the D&C yesterday and all went well. A good friend gave birth to her second child yesterday while I was waiting to go into the operating theatre. It made it all that bit tougher, as did hearing the cry of new born babies in the room next to mine.

Today I am just recovering. Feeling rather numb to be honest and don't really know what to do with myself.

I wish all you ladies the best, especially to those still in the ups and downs of TTC.

Thanks again,

Canary.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Celeste Barber: the hilarious Aussie mum you must follow

If you have ever looked at a photo of a celebrity mum and felt a pang of despair then Celeste Barber is your new best friend.

18 tips for surviving the first few weeks with a newborn

Here are 18 tips I think would have helped me when I went into this whole parenting thing blind.

Share your baby's first taste photos to win

Heinz and Essential Baby are giving away $1000 and baby food hampers - enter today!

Thumb-suckers could have less allergies, study shows

Thumb-sucking and nail-biting might alter the immune system function.

The shocking statistic that shows pregnant women need more support

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), pregnancy is the roller coaster from hell.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

Dad-to-be plans big surprise for gender reveal party

But for one mum-to-be, the big announcement was mixed with another emotional moment, all planned by her partner.

I was a victim of narcissistic abuse - now I'm speaking out

I met a guy who immediately swept me off my feet. Fast forward five years and I'm sitting alone in a house, crying and pregnant.

Alanis Morissette welcomes baby girl

Alanis Morissette is sharing pictures of her baby girl on social media.

Enduring postnatal anxiety

My hopeless, paralysing love for my children wasn't useful; it wasn't practical. I wasn't in charge.

New mum shares photo of herself in a "giant diaper"

After giving birth, most mothers post a photo to social media.

The art of oral storytelling - and how you can start it with your kids

In this form of communication, the heart listens as well as the ears.

Healing after miscarriage: 6 ways to soften the grief

If you have suffered a pregnancy loss, here are six ways to help soften the grief.

Your handy guide to a mum's tired signs

From the minute that tiny babe is out of you, you'll start hearing about "tired signs".

Prince George checks out helicopters at air show

The Duke of Cambridge has shown his son the inner workings of a helicopter at the Royal International Air Tattoo at RAF Fairford.

Dad catches a Pokemon as his wife waits to give birth

An Aussie dad found himself capturing a Pokemon in a very unusual place: his wife's hospital bed as she waited to give birth.

Mum's warning on dangers of liquid detergent capsules after toddler's accident

A mum has taken to social media to warn others about the dangers of laundry liquid capsules after her daughter was left with serious burns in her eyes.

Mum left reeling over 'breastfeeding' toddler post

For so many little kids, breastfeeding is just something that mummies do.

Does cannabis affect a man's sperm?

If you're pregnant or planning to be, tobacco and alcohol are high on the list of things not to use.  But do we need an equally loud message about avoiding cannabis too?

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

ENTER NOW

Win $1000 with Heinz!

We want to see photos of your baby eating - and by sharing, you'll be in the draw to win $1000 and baby food hampers. Enter today!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.