Jump to content

Having D&C tomorrow
feeling devastated


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 canary2010

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:45 PM

Hello

I'm not even sure why I feel compelled to write this post but I think I just have to get this out and have my pity party...

Last week I had a scan had 6 weeks 3 days, and an embryo couldn't be seen, just a yolk and gestional sac. Being an IVF pregnancy (my first cycle), there was no doubt about dates, so I knew things weren't looking good. Today I had another scan, at 7 weeks and 2 days. No embryo. The FS said the embryo stopped growing somewhere around 5 weeks and a bit.

I'm just devastated.

I have been diagnosed with low ovarian reserve and I was a very poor responder, only 2 eggs after been on very high doses of menopur and gonal F. This resulted in one perfect looking embryo that was transferred. I was so happy to be pregnant at last after trying 18 cycles naturally without any luck. I am 36 and have a DD who has just turned 2 ( and was conceived naturally) and want more than anything to have another child.

I'm just absolutely terrified that this is not going to happen, regardless of IVF.

Sorry for blurting all this out. I just wish this little bub was meant to be, we were all ready and excited and relieved but obvoiusly it's not meant to be. I'm having a D&C tomorrow, which I'm dreading but I also just want this to be over.

Thanks for listening.

Canary

Edited by canary2010, 06 February 2013 - 08:46 PM.


#2 Purelle

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

First of all big hugs. The actual d&c for me was not that bad. I'm sorry for your loss. sad.gif

#3 Chasing*Rainbows

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

Hi OP. Sorry to hear of your loss. Although never been through IVF I've had a few miscarriages which resulted in having to have D&C's. Its a heartbreaking time. Be gentle with yourself.

#4 TBen

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I'm really sorry for your loss. Don't feel bad for having a pity party - it's always helpful to let it out.

Best of luck for tomorrow - be kind to yourself.  bbighug.gif

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

I'm so sorry. I was in a simar situation after my second IVF attempt (although I had first seen a heartbeat and then later not) and I was absolutely devastated.

I was dreading the D&C, and while the anaesthetic knocked me around quite badly, it was actually not as I had feared at all.

For what it is worth, I had a happy ending, with DD being born after several more cycles when I was 38 and DS nearly 5.

Don't give up, but take the time to grieve before you leap back into IVF.

#6 Fillyjonk

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:06 PM

I'm sorry OP. What a devastating turn of events.

Like others, my D&C was okay and the physical recovery was relatively quick. I hope you have the same experience tomorrow.



#7 bree18

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

OP, so sorry to hear of your loss. I miscarried in December after my second IVF cycle and I too chose to have a D&C. The D&C was actually very straightforward for me however I did have a big cry in recovery afterwards (and the weeks after). As PP's have said, take care of yourself and take time to grieve if you need it. Good luck for future cycles.

Edited by bree18, 06 February 2013 - 09:11 PM.


#8 Chelli

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I am so sorry for your loss sad.gif

#9 au*lit

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

sad.gif

I haven't been through IVF but did have a D&C right before Christmas. It sucked. I wanted to cancel Christmas (and really part of me wishes I had). I'm still feeling slightly messed up but I'm in a much better place than I was a month ago. I'm still not sure if I'm willing to try again (we do already have one wonderful DS).

Physically the D&C wasn't too bad. I did bleed for a week and a half and had mild period type pain for a weeks. My first period after was a bit odd too. Fortunately everyone at the hospital and my OB's office was really kind through the whole thing and afterwards.

The D&C was actually much less painful than the one natural miscarriage that I have had.

Not sure what else to say, but you're not alone.

#10 harriet15

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

Hi there, I just want to say I'm so sorry.
I had a natural miscarriage in January, and I really admire you for being able to talk about it, I have really struggled to even do that. I completely understand your devastation.

Take care of yourself, and again I'm so sorry.

Edited by harriet15, 07 February 2013 - 02:04 PM.


#11 hillplain

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

Hi OP,

As i type this I hope that you are recovering from your D&C. Unfortunatly whilst reading your post I understand only too well what you mean. I am 36 a poor responder have done big doses of menopur and gonal and icsi. Have also had two IVF losses. Only thing is I have no children....

I hope that things brighten for you and that you find a way to deal with this hard time. My thoughts are with you and your family. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Do whatever makes things better for YOU!

#12 canary2010

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support and for sharing your experiences with me. I was very touched to read all of your stories and you helped me to feel less alone during this dreadful experience.

I had the D&C yesterday and all went well. A good friend gave birth to her second child yesterday while I was waiting to go into the operating theatre. It made it all that bit tougher, as did hearing the cry of new born babies in the room next to mine.

Today I am just recovering. Feeling rather numb to be honest and don't really know what to do with myself.

I wish all you ladies the best, especially to those still in the ups and downs of TTC.

Thanks again,

Canary.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

Misery loves Facebook

Facebook users are often criticised for only showing the positive, fun parts of their lives. But what about when it swings the other way, when someone uses it for the purposes of ranting about their children all the time, never posting anything positive?

Toddler's adorable impersonation of pregnant mum

Little Ellis has noticed his mum is walking differently lately, and his impersonation of her is hilarious.

'Forgotten baby syndrome' can happen to any one of us

When my third child was two months old, I strapped her into her car seat, then promptly forgot all about her. But she survived, unharmed, because it was winter, and I was lucky.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

Ten things I've learned about motherhood

Never take a good night's sleep for granted. There is no logic like toddler logic. Standing on Lego hurts every time. These are the truths of parenthood.

Parenting past the toddler years: what's next?

Your baby has grown into a toddler, and now your toddler is fast approaching the preschooler stage. What can you expect as a parent?

Tips on what to pack in your hospital bag

Before giving birth I read countless lists, ended up overpacking just a little, and now know what I'll actually want to pack next time.

New app keeps tabs on your kids at childcare

Popular new technology lets parents know what their children are up to at childcare - but not everyone is a fan.

21 things I love about newborns

There?s an irresistible magic about newborns. Of course they're not all smiles and rainbows, but they are undeniably cute and remarkable in so, so many ways.

Kid-friendly hairdressers: who says haircuts can?t be fun?

I?ve found some salons who boast setups ideal for children ? you name it, they?ve thought of it. All are designed to make haircuts fun rather than stressful.

Labour pain relief may reduce risk of postnatal depression: study

Postnatal depression is a complex condition, but researchers say pain relief during labour may help some women.

Why we need better support for men after miscarriage

In a recent study, 85 per cent of men admitted feeling sadness after their partner miscarried, but almost half said they didn't share their feelings at all. What can be done to help them?

Mum in business: Kristy Chong

Kristy Chong is the managing director of Australian-made Modibodi underwear and a mum to Lucas, 6, Jason, 4, and Isaac, 6 months. She shares her advice for other mums thinking about starting their own businesses.

From toddler to preschooler: a developmental roadmap

So your toddler is growing up and will soon be entering the preschooler years. Here are a few ways to frame their development that will help you understand what?s going in those beautiful, funny, clever little heads of theirs.

Mum sacrifices an eye for her unborn baby

Motherhood is full of sacrifices, but this woman has made a life-altering one - and her baby hasn't even been born.

A grandparent by any other name

A growing number of grandparents are shunning tradition and going against conventional names - but a grandparent by any other name still gives the same awesome cuddles and kisses.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

When labour just doesn't happen

After three healthy kids, I can?t help feeling I?ve been a little ripped off. I missed out on something I had always wanted to experience, and now I?ll never get the chance.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

Win $1000 with Sea-Band

Three lucky fans can win a Sea-Band prize pack valued at over $1000 each, which includes two Sea-Bands plus a $1000 Eftpos gift card!

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five mums or mums-to-be will join the EB Test Drive Team and discover great items at an exclusive Big W event. (Sydney only.)

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.