Jump to content

Having D&C tomorrow
feeling devastated


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 canary2010

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:45 PM

Hello

I'm not even sure why I feel compelled to write this post but I think I just have to get this out and have my pity party...

Last week I had a scan had 6 weeks 3 days, and an embryo couldn't be seen, just a yolk and gestional sac. Being an IVF pregnancy (my first cycle), there was no doubt about dates, so I knew things weren't looking good. Today I had another scan, at 7 weeks and 2 days. No embryo. The FS said the embryo stopped growing somewhere around 5 weeks and a bit.

I'm just devastated.

I have been diagnosed with low ovarian reserve and I was a very poor responder, only 2 eggs after been on very high doses of menopur and gonal F. This resulted in one perfect looking embryo that was transferred. I was so happy to be pregnant at last after trying 18 cycles naturally without any luck. I am 36 and have a DD who has just turned 2 ( and was conceived naturally) and want more than anything to have another child.

I'm just absolutely terrified that this is not going to happen, regardless of IVF.

Sorry for blurting all this out. I just wish this little bub was meant to be, we were all ready and excited and relieved but obvoiusly it's not meant to be. I'm having a D&C tomorrow, which I'm dreading but I also just want this to be over.

Thanks for listening.

Canary

Edited by canary2010, 06 February 2013 - 08:46 PM.


#2 Purelle

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

First of all big hugs. The actual d&c for me was not that bad. I'm sorry for your loss. sad.gif

#3 Chasing*Rainbows

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

Hi OP. Sorry to hear of your loss. Although never been through IVF I've had a few miscarriages which resulted in having to have D&C's. Its a heartbreaking time. Be gentle with yourself.

#4 TBen

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I'm really sorry for your loss. Don't feel bad for having a pity party - it's always helpful to let it out.

Best of luck for tomorrow - be kind to yourself.  bbighug.gif

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

I'm so sorry. I was in a simar situation after my second IVF attempt (although I had first seen a heartbeat and then later not) and I was absolutely devastated.

I was dreading the D&C, and while the anaesthetic knocked me around quite badly, it was actually not as I had feared at all.

For what it is worth, I had a happy ending, with DD being born after several more cycles when I was 38 and DS nearly 5.

Don't give up, but take the time to grieve before you leap back into IVF.

#6 Fillyjonk

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:06 PM

I'm sorry OP. What a devastating turn of events.

Like others, my D&C was okay and the physical recovery was relatively quick. I hope you have the same experience tomorrow.



#7 bree18

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

OP, so sorry to hear of your loss. I miscarried in December after my second IVF cycle and I too chose to have a D&C. The D&C was actually very straightforward for me however I did have a big cry in recovery afterwards (and the weeks after). As PP's have said, take care of yourself and take time to grieve if you need it. Good luck for future cycles.

Edited by bree18, 06 February 2013 - 09:11 PM.


#8 Chelli

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I am so sorry for your loss sad.gif

#9 au*lit

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

sad.gif

I haven't been through IVF but did have a D&C right before Christmas. It sucked. I wanted to cancel Christmas (and really part of me wishes I had). I'm still feeling slightly messed up but I'm in a much better place than I was a month ago. I'm still not sure if I'm willing to try again (we do already have one wonderful DS).

Physically the D&C wasn't too bad. I did bleed for a week and a half and had mild period type pain for a weeks. My first period after was a bit odd too. Fortunately everyone at the hospital and my OB's office was really kind through the whole thing and afterwards.

The D&C was actually much less painful than the one natural miscarriage that I have had.

Not sure what else to say, but you're not alone.

#10 harriet15

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

Hi there, I just want to say I'm so sorry.
I had a natural miscarriage in January, and I really admire you for being able to talk about it, I have really struggled to even do that. I completely understand your devastation.

Take care of yourself, and again I'm so sorry.

Edited by harriet15, 07 February 2013 - 02:04 PM.


#11 hillplain

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

Hi OP,

As i type this I hope that you are recovering from your D&C. Unfortunatly whilst reading your post I understand only too well what you mean. I am 36 a poor responder have done big doses of menopur and gonal and icsi. Have also had two IVF losses. Only thing is I have no children....

I hope that things brighten for you and that you find a way to deal with this hard time. My thoughts are with you and your family. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Do whatever makes things better for YOU!

#12 canary2010

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support and for sharing your experiences with me. I was very touched to read all of your stories and you helped me to feel less alone during this dreadful experience.

I had the D&C yesterday and all went well. A good friend gave birth to her second child yesterday while I was waiting to go into the operating theatre. It made it all that bit tougher, as did hearing the cry of new born babies in the room next to mine.

Today I am just recovering. Feeling rather numb to be honest and don't really know what to do with myself.

I wish all you ladies the best, especially to those still in the ups and downs of TTC.

Thanks again,

Canary.


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Childcare Survey

Win a $100 Coles/Myers gift voucher by completing the 5 minute childcare survey.

Kelly Clarkson shares first photos of son

Kelly Clarkson has shown off the first photos of her son, Remington Alexander Blackstock.

5 childbirth myths that need to be busted

Birth is an unpredictable, mysterious process that intrigues us all, and there is a lot of misinformation out there.

Mum of three fatally shot by toddler while driving

A US mother has been shot by her toddler while driving on a highway in Wisconsin.

All you need is one minute to work out

The seven-minute-work out is old news. Research shows the effectiveness of going hell-for-leather for just one minute.

Pregnant women needed to join diabetes study

Pregnant woman in country Australia will help Adelaide researchers figure out why cases of type 1 diabetes have doubled over the past two decades.

Just announced: the Mountain Buggy Unirider

It's the perfect solution to combat those toddler meltdowns when they no longer want to be in a pram but can't walk long distances.

Authorities euthanise dog that fatally bit a newborn baby

A pit bull mix that fatally bit a 3-day-old infant last week has been euthanised, authorities said.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Why it's perfectly natural to dislike other people's children

Members of a popular forum are fiercely debating whether it is acceptable to dislike a friend's child.

Woman gives birth on plane, names baby after airline

A pregnant woman who unexpectedly gave birth on a flight has named her new baby after the airline, Jetstar.

Heartwarming photos show the joy of adoption after foster care

Children living in foster care can feel like their future is less than clear. But that uncertainty disappears the day they are adopted by their "forever family" 

'Oh my god, it's a baby!' Mum shocked to give birth

When the cramps started to kick in, Klara Dollan just assumed a painful period was starting.

Mum's Facebook plea: 'Help me find my daughter's father'

Kerryn has a unusual present planned for daughter Imi's 13th birthday celebrations - she hopes to be able to be able to give the soon-to-be the teenager her first ever photo of her dad.

Is it possible for your house to be too clean?

Our houses are cleaner than ever before. But how clean is too clean? Could a sterile home be putting your family's health at risk?

Millions of Monkeys: puzzles that grow with your toddler

Here's a puzzle that grows with them; the Puzzle Grow Pack by Millions of Monkeys.

Baby names from Britpop

If you grew up in the 90s you might want to look to the genre of Britpop music for baby name inspiration.

What to eat and drink when you have gastro

When you catch a bug that causes acute infectious gastroenteritis (gastro), your stomach and intestinal tract become inflamed, causing diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping and pain. The last thing you probably feel like doing is eating.

'To this day, I owe her my life'

Would I have survived if I hadn't crossed that street?

Why baby Sonny needs you to vaccinate your children

Caitlin is a firm believer in the importance of immunisation to protect children from harmful and deadly diseases.

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Childcare Survey

Win a $100 Coles/Myers gift voucher by completing the 5 minute childcare survey.

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.