Jump to content

Having D&C tomorrow
feeling devastated


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 canary2010

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:45 PM

Hello

I'm not even sure why I feel compelled to write this post but I think I just have to get this out and have my pity party...

Last week I had a scan had 6 weeks 3 days, and an embryo couldn't be seen, just a yolk and gestional sac. Being an IVF pregnancy (my first cycle), there was no doubt about dates, so I knew things weren't looking good. Today I had another scan, at 7 weeks and 2 days. No embryo. The FS said the embryo stopped growing somewhere around 5 weeks and a bit.

I'm just devastated.

I have been diagnosed with low ovarian reserve and I was a very poor responder, only 2 eggs after been on very high doses of menopur and gonal F. This resulted in one perfect looking embryo that was transferred. I was so happy to be pregnant at last after trying 18 cycles naturally without any luck. I am 36 and have a DD who has just turned 2 ( and was conceived naturally) and want more than anything to have another child.

I'm just absolutely terrified that this is not going to happen, regardless of IVF.

Sorry for blurting all this out. I just wish this little bub was meant to be, we were all ready and excited and relieved but obvoiusly it's not meant to be. I'm having a D&C tomorrow, which I'm dreading but I also just want this to be over.

Thanks for listening.

Canary

Edited by canary2010, 06 February 2013 - 08:46 PM.


#2 Purelle

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

First of all big hugs. The actual d&c for me was not that bad. I'm sorry for your loss. sad.gif

#3 Chasing*Rainbows

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:49 PM

Hi OP. Sorry to hear of your loss. Although never been through IVF I've had a few miscarriages which resulted in having to have D&C's. Its a heartbreaking time. Be gentle with yourself.

#4 TBen

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:56 PM

I'm really sorry for your loss. Don't feel bad for having a pity party - it's always helpful to let it out.

Best of luck for tomorrow - be kind to yourself.  bbighug.gif

#5 NotBitzerMaloney

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:57 PM

I'm so sorry. I was in a simar situation after my second IVF attempt (although I had first seen a heartbeat and then later not) and I was absolutely devastated.

I was dreading the D&C, and while the anaesthetic knocked me around quite badly, it was actually not as I had feared at all.

For what it is worth, I had a happy ending, with DD being born after several more cycles when I was 38 and DS nearly 5.

Don't give up, but take the time to grieve before you leap back into IVF.

#6 Fillyjonk

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:06 PM

I'm sorry OP. What a devastating turn of events.

Like others, my D&C was okay and the physical recovery was relatively quick. I hope you have the same experience tomorrow.



#7 bree18

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:10 PM

OP, so sorry to hear of your loss. I miscarried in December after my second IVF cycle and I too chose to have a D&C. The D&C was actually very straightforward for me however I did have a big cry in recovery afterwards (and the weeks after). As PP's have said, take care of yourself and take time to grieve if you need it. Good luck for future cycles.

Edited by bree18, 06 February 2013 - 09:11 PM.


#8 Chelli

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I am so sorry for your loss sad.gif

#9 au*lit

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

sad.gif

I haven't been through IVF but did have a D&C right before Christmas. It sucked. I wanted to cancel Christmas (and really part of me wishes I had). I'm still feeling slightly messed up but I'm in a much better place than I was a month ago. I'm still not sure if I'm willing to try again (we do already have one wonderful DS).

Physically the D&C wasn't too bad. I did bleed for a week and a half and had mild period type pain for a weeks. My first period after was a bit odd too. Fortunately everyone at the hospital and my OB's office was really kind through the whole thing and afterwards.

The D&C was actually much less painful than the one natural miscarriage that I have had.

Not sure what else to say, but you're not alone.

#10 harriet15

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:02 PM

Hi there, I just want to say I'm so sorry.
I had a natural miscarriage in January, and I really admire you for being able to talk about it, I have really struggled to even do that. I completely understand your devastation.

Take care of yourself, and again I'm so sorry.

Edited by harriet15, 07 February 2013 - 02:04 PM.


#11 hillplain

Posted 07 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

Hi OP,

As i type this I hope that you are recovering from your D&C. Unfortunatly whilst reading your post I understand only too well what you mean. I am 36 a poor responder have done big doses of menopur and gonal and icsi. Have also had two IVF losses. Only thing is I have no children....

I hope that things brighten for you and that you find a way to deal with this hard time. My thoughts are with you and your family. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk. Do whatever makes things better for YOU!

#12 canary2010

Posted 08 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Thank you to everyone for your kind words of support and for sharing your experiences with me. I was very touched to read all of your stories and you helped me to feel less alone during this dreadful experience.

I had the D&C yesterday and all went well. A good friend gave birth to her second child yesterday while I was waiting to go into the operating theatre. It made it all that bit tougher, as did hearing the cry of new born babies in the room next to mine.

Today I am just recovering. Feeling rather numb to be honest and don't really know what to do with myself.

I wish all you ladies the best, especially to those still in the ups and downs of TTC.

Thanks again,

Canary.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Abbott's childcare changes will 'reduce access and add complexity'

The government's childcare assistance package threatens to confuse and intimidate many parents, experts say.

Be careful what you wish for

Remember that chubby little baby who rocked on all fours? Remember how you wished he would start to crawl? Then remember how you felt once he did?

William Tyrrell's parents plead for information as anniversary looms

As the one-year anniversary of William Tyrrell's disappearance draws near, the missing four-year-old's parents have again pleaded with the public for information that could help bring their son home.

Family sleepovers: a tribute to my 1970s childhood

My memories of those nights in my childhood are all about fun: sleepover excitement, staying up late, watching movies we probably weren't supposed to watch ... freedom.

43 minutes of terror: family's agonising wait for ambulance for toddler

It was terrifying. As the minutes ticked by little Cooper Harrison's parents felt more and more frantic.

What not to say to a new mum

Some phrases just pop out before you really think about them, but there are some things you should try to not say to a new mum.

Mummydesking: the new hotdesking

It is a paradise that only working parents of small children can understand: a place to sit for three hours without any interruptions while someone looks after the kids.

Charlize Theron adopts baby girl

A few months after splitting from Sean Penn, the actress Charlize Theron has adopted a baby girl.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg shares painful truth behind wife's pregnancy

Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg has shared a brutally honest truth about pregnancy in the hope it will help others through dark periods.  

Sugary drinks blamed for removal of toddlers' rotten teeth

Children as young as 18 months are having multiple rotten teeth pulled out as parents feed toddlers soft drinks through sipper bottles, and chocolate biscuits and Milo as bedtime treats.

Mum accidentally fake tans baby

Many of us have fallen foul of a bad fake tan or two, but this little guy's started a bit earlier than most.

Does this three-month-old say 'I love you'?

YouTube user Ted Moskalenko was filmed by his wife, Michelle, as his baby son, Ben, engaged in some baby chat.

Kids break out of daycare centre, cross busy highway

Two children broke out of an early childhood centre and wandered across a four-lane road.

Why I'm glad to be an indulgent granny

The phone calls started a couple of weeks ago. At about 5.30 each evening - if I am lucky - I will be greeted by a sweet, excited voice declaring: "'Allo Annie".

Newborn found in toilet at German airport

A newborn baby found abandoned and extremely ill in a bathroom in the Munich airport is doing well.

Is this the worst relationship advice ever published?

You sometimes have to wonder whether relationship/sex advice from magazines is designed to help or humiliate.

How you talk to your baby now can impact social skills later

People used to think that social skills were something kids were born with, not taught.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Scientists predict when you should start a family

Scientists have calculated at exactly what age you need to start trying to get pregnant to have the best chance of realising your dream. 

Differently abled child

When 'protecting' a child is really a cover for judgement

Why are people so concerned for this happy child and his mother?

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

When toddlers have strange obsessions

When it comes to two-year-olds and birthday cakes there are a few requests that are usually at the top of the list. But a cake featuring a local personal injury lawyer?

When Mama Bear strikes

When we become mums, our instinct to protect our children and keep them safe from harm is so strong we're often likened to a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.  

Immunity boosters for kids

There are no guaranteed ways to avoid the dreaded winter illnesses completely, but there are ways we can boost our children's immunity.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Mum shares portrait of her proudly breastfeeding three-year-old

Jade Beall usually chooses to breastfeed her son, now 3, in private. This week, however, she shared portraits of her breastfeeding her preschooler.

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.