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Self Settling - 3 months

6 replies to this topic

#1 Oysta

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:25 AM


My baby is now 3 months and 10 days old and relieves on mummy and daddy to bounce him to zzz.  He will not go into his cot or bassinet awake/or even slightly drowsy.  We have attempted on many occasions and he screams the house down.  He immediately becomes very distressed and loses breath from crying so much?  

As a result bubs wakes every 40 mins (day and night)  - so we are getting no zzz at all.  When he wakes he expects the same treatment (bounce,ssshhh) - but sometimes once you put him down he will awake immediately?

We are desperate for any help or tips?  Bubs seems so unhappy nowadays bc he is so tired.  He almost never sleeps bc of his constant waking?

#2 samoocha1991

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:43 AM

Hi there,

The sleep problem sad.gif I feel for you. bbighug.gif

My DD is 4 months and since born had really bad reflux I found routine helped alot.  Try a nice warm bath and a massage, wrapped up them up nicely do you have a musical mobile or even some soothing music helped alot.  Even the cot being raised slightly might help little one as mine did not want to be flat on her back.  I also found that vibration helped alot I had a rocker that vibrated and it was excellent as it stayed on all the time.

Edited by samoocha1991, 06 February 2013 - 08:45 AM.

#3 Oysta

Posted 06 February 2013 - 01:42 PM


Thanks for your reply.  

We used to raise the cot but bubs seemed to always fall into the bottom of the cot?  So we removed the wedge, but now he seems to move all over the cot and wake himself up from this?  
At the moment his routine is:
Day - feed every 3 to 3.5 hours (Eat, Play, Sleep) - but we need to settle him every 20 to 45 minutes.
Night - bedtime routine is: bath, feed, bed - but as per day we need to bounce him until he is asleep?  
Would you suggest feeding then bath for the bedtime routine?
At night we have lullabies that play and for 20 minutes we have Ewan the Dream Sheep to help him....but we still have to help him every hour?  
I'm not really too sure what to do....it seems impossible to put him in cot awake and even more impossible to settle him without re-creating the scene again?

#4 I'm Batman

Posted 06 February 2013 - 01:45 PM

white noise,

the sound of running water, either taped from youtube or taking in the bathroom, every single time.

#5 mandala

Posted 06 February 2013 - 02:24 PM

Oh, I feel for you. DS was an appallingly bad sleeper at that age. Bouncing, driving in the car, feeding to sleep - none of them worked for him.  Three months is extremely young for self-settling, but some babies can do it. We did it because cuddling a baby for five hours until they sleep is unsustainable.  

Some ideas:

Are you still swaddling/wrapping? I would suggest you make sure you're doing that. You can try an angel-style wrap (look on youtube for instructions) - it works well for slightly older babies because their hands are up and can be sucked for comfort.

Are you sure that your baby is really distressed? I ask because I was reacting to every little cry and couldn't tell the difference between overtired crying and upset crying. I had a massively overstimulated baby who would be fine until the stimulation was removed (like when going to bed) and then he would cry as a way of relieving his stress. It took me a long time to learn the difference.

When we were at sleep school (with a baby the age of yours), the instructions were to wait for 60-120 seconds to hear if the cry was declining or escalating before going in to help. Then the idea was to settle DS so that he was calm, but not asleep, then leave the room so he could fall asleep alone. Of course, we'd put him down and his eyes would pop open and we'd start again - it took lots of repetition and I probably couldn't have stuck with it if I wasn't desperate.

Call your MCHN/Parenting line for suggestions. They might be able to recommend sleep school, or someone to come out and help. I really needed external help to figure out what to do.

I hope one of these ideas helps. It's so hard having a miserably overtired baby, not least when you're miserably overtired yourself.

#6 samoocha1991

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

I have bath then bottle, completely agree with KRT try contacting your local childhood health nurse or even a GP the sleep schools are great I was referred to the QE2 in ACT I managed to get bubs under control before it got to stressful for me but lots of people I know went there and they said it was great to have that extra advice.

I hope you get some rest soon!!!  ssleep.gif

#7 Sammij841

Posted 07 February 2013 - 09:55 AM

I have found that if you keep the bubs on a regular sleep schedule throughout the day, and try and settle them if they wake up after the first 45 mins of their nap (this is really important, as they need more than one sleep cycle with each nap) then their nighttime sleep really improves.
For nighttime, routine is really important.
The adage that sleep breeds more sleep is really true!
Good luck!

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