Jump to content

*Warning termination mentioned*. I need urgent advice on termination please :(


  • Please log in to reply
30 replies to this topic

#1 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:18 PM

Please, don't judge me. This is a horrible situation and I am in a crisis situation and just need some support.

I have just found out I am pregnant and my life is in ruins. My husband left me for another woman 3 months ago and my life is falling apart. I have always said I would never terminate but I have no other choice, I cannot in any way raise a child as I have no way to do this with my 3 children and no support, money or way out of this hole.

My pregnancy is further than 12 weeks. sad.gif I didn't know I was pregnant because I have been having spotting and irregular light bleeding, I thought it was stress from the relationship dissolution, but now I know it was pregnancy.

I have booked in to have a termination in Sydney this week, but the cost is so high and I cannot afford it. I don't have credit cards or savings, my husband has left me in a terrible financial situation. My family are overseas and can't help and I am going to have to sell a lot of things to pay for this. I don't have time to sell on ebay so I will need to sell them to a pawn shop and I'm not sure I can raise the money.

I have been googling all day and I can't find any support services. I have a health care card which reduces the cost slightly but not enough. I thought i might be cheaper to travel interstate if there were better options but I can't seem to find pricing.

Does anyone know where I can get assistance or guidance in any state for a reduced cost service?

Thank you in advance sad.gif

#2 HRH Countrymel

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:20 PM

Have you spoken to Family Planning?  They would be my first call.

#3 9ferals

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:23 PM

Yes, talk to Family Planning, they should know what your options are.
Marie Stopes Clinics are another place who will give you information too.
Hopefully one of these organisations will be able to help you find a service that is right for you.

Good luck with dealing with a very difficult situation OP.

#4 feralisles

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:27 PM

You do get a medicare rebate OP, so although you have to have the full amount up front some of it you can claim back.  You could try talking to the doctor at the centre to see if she is able to reduce the gap for you, given your circumstances (some will, some won't).
The womens health centre I used to work for had a little money put aside to assist women needing terminations when they were unable to pay.  That wasn't in Sydney, but perhaps you could phone some of the Sydney centres to see if they can help at all.
Just be aware that the longer you leave it the harder, more risky and more expensive it becomes.
Is there any chance your ex would help - even if only to save on extra child support payments?

#5 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

Thank you .

I have not spoken to family planning yet, I only found out today so I have been at home trying to find information and deal with it. I have looked over the family planning websites but there isn't a lot of information. I have a few numbers to call in the morning for more general advice, but I can't rest until I have a solution.



#6 1miss2littlemen

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

Hi OP, I am not sure where you are but there is a place in Brisbane called 'Children by choice' and they may be abe to help you find a place and talk you through original.gif they are nutural party and dont swing either way but may be able to help you find what you are looking for. Hope this helps, I am sorry that you are in such a cruddy situation sad.gif

#7 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:31 PM

Lisles thanks, the cost I was quoted is around $800 out of pocket after rebate, I don't know why it's so much for a 15 minute procedure.

And no my poor excuse of a husband has just dumped us like trash and moved on with his new life, he isn't paying any child support either. I have contacted his parents today but they won't speak to me.



#8 bluecardigans

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:36 PM

Just googling, but looks like only $285 out of pocket. Less with a Health Care Card Cost
QUOTE
How much will it cost?
The cost of the termination procedure is made up of different components eg. procedure itself, anaesthetic and theatre fees, drugs and equipment used. The total cost to you on the day will be approximately $700 including ultrasound scan. Medicare offers a rebate of $415 for the procedure, which can be claimed back immediately. The rest of the fee is non refundable, though some Private Health Funds may cover a proportion of the cost. This means you will be (700-415 ) = $285 out of pocket for the whole procedure. If you have an IUD (intrauterine device) fitted at the time of the procedure, it will be slightly more. For women who have a Health Care Card, the fees are lower. For women who are in very disadvantaged circumstances, some of the fee may be waived, so that essentially she is "bulk billed", provided she has a Medicare card.

Edited by Display anemone, 05 February 2013 - 05:38 PM.


#9 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:38 PM

It shouldn't cost that much, a Sydney clinic near Surry Hills costs about $360.

Ring Marie Stopes, they'll be able to give you a comprehensive overview of the procedure, cost and rebates.

I believe RU486 has recently been legalised and is available from certain GPs.

#10 Neriah

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:41 PM

If in NSW - you can contact Family Planning Talkline on 1300 658 886 for contraceptive, reproductive and sexual health information and referral. The Talkline staff provide callers with information, advice and options across a wide range of reproductive and sexual health issues. Lines are open Monday to Friday 8.30am to 5pm. I also second contacting Marie Stopes. Perhaps you should discuss the financial side of it with your ex, see if he will pay half or all of the costs (but this really depends on whether you want to involve him or not). Can a GP help? Did you have the pregnancy confirmed by one who can discuss your options with you? If you are on centrelink payments you can apply to have your payments paid a couple of weeks in advance when there are exceptional circumstances and a lump sum of money is required. You should then get some back via Medicare I believe.

I hope it all works out for you. I am sorry that you are in this situation. I don't believe you will get any judgement here, nor should you. Take care.

#11 Stacey*

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:43 PM

Can you get a FTB advance payment? They normally only take 2 days to appear in your bank account.

#12 Madnesscraves

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:44 PM

I believe her biggest issue is she's past 12 weeks which may make it more costly?

I'm so sorry you're in this situation OP. I agree speak to family planning and also your GP. They can surely direct you where best to go for your situation.

bbighug.gif is what you need right now! Best of luck with everything OP.

#13 BetteBoop

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:44 PM

OP, I feel so sad for you. It's hard enough to be going through a marriage break up without having an unplanned pregnancy added to the situation.

You can call any abortion clinic directly to make an appointment. Every clinic has limits on how many weeks pregnant you can be in order to access a safe termination.

Can you contact your ex and let him know you need money and what for? He may not want you to proceed with the pregnancy either so he may choose to ante up the cash.

QUOTE (Madeline's Mum @ 05/02/2013, 05:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It shouldn't cost that much, a Sydney clinic near Surry Hills costs about $360.

Ring Marie Stopes, they'll be able to give you a comprehensive overview of the procedure, cost and rebates.

I believe RU486 has recently been legalised and is available from certain GPs.


OP is in her second trimester. $800 after the Medicare rebate is fairly standard. For low income earners, they may be prepared to offer a discount, but this is at the discretion of the clinic.

#14 KT1978

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:48 PM

Can you ask to pay a deposit, and the rest over a few weeks?

Can you ask to pay a deposit, and the rest over a few weeks?

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:50 PM

My apologies, I didn't realise it was on an incline based on gestation. I was going off information based on a much younger gestation.

Apologies again, OP.

#16 Feral_Pooks

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:53 PM

OP, how much do you need to pay? Can you get an advance payment from Centrelink. Usually you can get an advance up to $500, and then they dock your payments a little til it is paid back. Contact Centrelink and ask to speak to a social worker, perhaps they can help make the process easier for you this way.

#17 Jacki:)

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:58 PM

bbighug.gif

#18 Missy Shelby

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:00 PM

Another one that was going to suggest Family Planning as an avenue to investigate.

I hope that it all works out ok for you OP.

#19 bluecardigans

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:07 PM

QUOTE (Madeline's Mum @ 05/02/2013, 06:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My apologies, I didn't realise it was on an incline based on gestation. I was going off information based on a much younger gestation.

Apologies again, OP.

Same.  

I think the Centrelink advance sounds like a good option if at all possible.

#20 Feral.K.

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:29 PM

I hope you can find a way to get the funds to cover it and I really feel for you OP.

I have to say, I had absolutely no idea that terminations were not free / fully covered by Medicare in Australia or, at the very least, free to Health Care Card holders. I am stunned to hear this is not the case.


#21 noi'mnot

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:36 PM

It's also worth calling your local public tertiary maternity hospital.

Best of luck OP, you're in a tough situation. Xxx

#22 MrsWidget

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:38 PM

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Do you have friends that can help? Also do you have anyone who could take you to thecappointment? I'm in Melbourne or I'd offer.

#23 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:39 PM

QUOTE (kyte @ 05/02/2013, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I hope you can find a way to get the funds to cover it and I really feel for you OP.

I have to say, I had absolutely no idea that terminations were not free / fully covered by Medicare in Australia or, at the very least, free to Health Care Card holders. I am stunned to hear this is not the case.


From the information I have found there are some circumstances where womens health organisation assist, but they are very limited in who they can provide help to. One public hospital in Victoria do a few for medical reasons for no cost, but otherwise, it's out of pocket costs no matter your financial situation.

The cost of this procedure out of pocket is 3 weeks rent for me, and will mean I will likely be evicted if I can't come up with the money but even that wouldn't qualify for severe hardship when there are other women who are in worse situations who need help.

Thanks ladies but centre link is no help, because i've used all the assistance I could when my husband moved. The SKB just paid my rent.

Thank you all for the information, I have some numbers to call tomorrow, hopefully one of those places can assist.


#24 Snot stew

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:40 PM

What a horrible situation.  Thinking of you.


#25 CallMeFeral

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:45 PM

QUOTE (kyte @ 05/02/2013, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have to say, I had absolutely no idea that terminations were not free / fully covered by Medicare in Australia or, at the very least, free to Health Care Card holders. I am stunned to hear this is not the case.


Me too! That's awful sad.gif  It seems ridiculous to have this as something that can't be accessed by all when necessary sad.gif

All the best OP, what a horrible situation. And what a b*st*rd.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler ticket!

Get your free tickets to the Sydney The Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27! Register online for your free ticket now!

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Public welcome outside church for Princess Charlotte's christening

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have invited well-wishers to see Princess Charlotte outside church in Sandringham on day of her baptism.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Channel 10's Sarah Harris expecting first child

The Studio host Sarah Harris doesn't mind if her first baby is a boy or girl, but she does hope it is born with one thing in particular.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.