Jump to content

*Warning termination mentioned*. I need urgent advice on termination please :(


  • Please log in to reply
30 replies to this topic

#1 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:18 PM

Please, don't judge me. This is a horrible situation and I am in a crisis situation and just need some support.

I have just found out I am pregnant and my life is in ruins. My husband left me for another woman 3 months ago and my life is falling apart. I have always said I would never terminate but I have no other choice, I cannot in any way raise a child as I have no way to do this with my 3 children and no support, money or way out of this hole.

My pregnancy is further than 12 weeks. sad.gif I didn't know I was pregnant because I have been having spotting and irregular light bleeding, I thought it was stress from the relationship dissolution, but now I know it was pregnancy.

I have booked in to have a termination in Sydney this week, but the cost is so high and I cannot afford it. I don't have credit cards or savings, my husband has left me in a terrible financial situation. My family are overseas and can't help and I am going to have to sell a lot of things to pay for this. I don't have time to sell on ebay so I will need to sell them to a pawn shop and I'm not sure I can raise the money.

I have been googling all day and I can't find any support services. I have a health care card which reduces the cost slightly but not enough. I thought i might be cheaper to travel interstate if there were better options but I can't seem to find pricing.

Does anyone know where I can get assistance or guidance in any state for a reduced cost service?

Thank you in advance sad.gif

#2 CountryFeral

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:20 PM

Have you spoken to Family Planning?  They would be my first call.

#3 9ferals

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:23 PM

Yes, talk to Family Planning, they should know what your options are.
Marie Stopes Clinics are another place who will give you information too.
Hopefully one of these organisations will be able to help you find a service that is right for you.

Good luck with dealing with a very difficult situation OP.

#4 feralisles

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:27 PM

You do get a medicare rebate OP, so although you have to have the full amount up front some of it you can claim back.  You could try talking to the doctor at the centre to see if she is able to reduce the gap for you, given your circumstances (some will, some won't).
The womens health centre I used to work for had a little money put aside to assist women needing terminations when they were unable to pay.  That wasn't in Sydney, but perhaps you could phone some of the Sydney centres to see if they can help at all.
Just be aware that the longer you leave it the harder, more risky and more expensive it becomes.
Is there any chance your ex would help - even if only to save on extra child support payments?

#5 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

Thank you .

I have not spoken to family planning yet, I only found out today so I have been at home trying to find information and deal with it. I have looked over the family planning websites but there isn't a lot of information. I have a few numbers to call in the morning for more general advice, but I can't rest until I have a solution.



#6 1miss2littlemen

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:28 PM

Hi OP, I am not sure where you are but there is a place in Brisbane called 'Children by choice' and they may be abe to help you find a place and talk you through original.gif they are nutural party and dont swing either way but may be able to help you find what you are looking for. Hope this helps, I am sorry that you are in such a cruddy situation sad.gif

#7 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:31 PM

Lisles thanks, the cost I was quoted is around $800 out of pocket after rebate, I don't know why it's so much for a 15 minute procedure.

And no my poor excuse of a husband has just dumped us like trash and moved on with his new life, he isn't paying any child support either. I have contacted his parents today but they won't speak to me.



#8 bluecardigans

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:36 PM

Just googling, but looks like only $285 out of pocket. Less with a Health Care Card Cost
QUOTE
How much will it cost?
The cost of the termination procedure is made up of different components eg. procedure itself, anaesthetic and theatre fees, drugs and equipment used. The total cost to you on the day will be approximately $700 including ultrasound scan. Medicare offers a rebate of $415 for the procedure, which can be claimed back immediately. The rest of the fee is non refundable, though some Private Health Funds may cover a proportion of the cost. This means you will be (700-415 ) = $285 out of pocket for the whole procedure. If you have an IUD (intrauterine device) fitted at the time of the procedure, it will be slightly more. For women who have a Health Care Card, the fees are lower. For women who are in very disadvantaged circumstances, some of the fee may be waived, so that essentially she is "bulk billed", provided she has a Medicare card.

Edited by Display anemone, 05 February 2013 - 05:38 PM.


#9 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:38 PM

It shouldn't cost that much, a Sydney clinic near Surry Hills costs about $360.

Ring Marie Stopes, they'll be able to give you a comprehensive overview of the procedure, cost and rebates.

I believe RU486 has recently been legalised and is available from certain GPs.

#10 Neriah is Feral

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:41 PM

If in NSW - you can contact Family Planning Talkline on 1300 658 886 for contraceptive, reproductive and sexual health information and referral. The Talkline staff provide callers with information, advice and options across a wide range of reproductive and sexual health issues. Lines are open Monday to Friday 8.30am to 5pm. I also second contacting Marie Stopes. Perhaps you should discuss the financial side of it with your ex, see if he will pay half or all of the costs (but this really depends on whether you want to involve him or not). Can a GP help? Did you have the pregnancy confirmed by one who can discuss your options with you? If you are on centrelink payments you can apply to have your payments paid a couple of weeks in advance when there are exceptional circumstances and a lump sum of money is required. You should then get some back via Medicare I believe.

I hope it all works out for you. I am sorry that you are in this situation. I don't believe you will get any judgement here, nor should you. Take care.

#11 Stacey*

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:43 PM

Can you get a FTB advance payment? They normally only take 2 days to appear in your bank account.

#12 Madnesscraves

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:44 PM

I believe her biggest issue is she's past 12 weeks which may make it more costly?

I'm so sorry you're in this situation OP. I agree speak to family planning and also your GP. They can surely direct you where best to go for your situation.

bbighug.gif is what you need right now! Best of luck with everything OP.

#13 BetteBoop

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:44 PM

OP, I feel so sad for you. It's hard enough to be going through a marriage break up without having an unplanned pregnancy added to the situation.

You can call any abortion clinic directly to make an appointment. Every clinic has limits on how many weeks pregnant you can be in order to access a safe termination.

Can you contact your ex and let him know you need money and what for? He may not want you to proceed with the pregnancy either so he may choose to ante up the cash.

QUOTE (Madeline's Mum @ 05/02/2013, 05:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It shouldn't cost that much, a Sydney clinic near Surry Hills costs about $360.

Ring Marie Stopes, they'll be able to give you a comprehensive overview of the procedure, cost and rebates.

I believe RU486 has recently been legalised and is available from certain GPs.


OP is in her second trimester. $800 after the Medicare rebate is fairly standard. For low income earners, they may be prepared to offer a discount, but this is at the discretion of the clinic.

#14 KT1978

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:48 PM

Can you ask to pay a deposit, and the rest over a few weeks?

Can you ask to pay a deposit, and the rest over a few weeks?

#15 Madeline's Mum

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:50 PM

My apologies, I didn't realise it was on an incline based on gestation. I was going off information based on a much younger gestation.

Apologies again, OP.

#16 Feral_Pooks

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:53 PM

OP, how much do you need to pay? Can you get an advance payment from Centrelink. Usually you can get an advance up to $500, and then they dock your payments a little til it is paid back. Contact Centrelink and ask to speak to a social worker, perhaps they can help make the process easier for you this way.

#17 Jacki:)

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:58 PM

bbighug.gif

#18 Missy Shelby

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:00 PM

Another one that was going to suggest Family Planning as an avenue to investigate.

I hope that it all works out ok for you OP.

#19 bluecardigans

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:07 PM

QUOTE (Madeline's Mum @ 05/02/2013, 06:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My apologies, I didn't realise it was on an incline based on gestation. I was going off information based on a much younger gestation.

Apologies again, OP.

Same.  

I think the Centrelink advance sounds like a good option if at all possible.

#20 Feral.K.

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:29 PM

I hope you can find a way to get the funds to cover it and I really feel for you OP.

I have to say, I had absolutely no idea that terminations were not free / fully covered by Medicare in Australia or, at the very least, free to Health Care Card holders. I am stunned to hear this is not the case.


#21 noi'mnot

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:36 PM

It's also worth calling your local public tertiary maternity hospital.

Best of luck OP, you're in a tough situation. Xxx

#22 MrsWidget

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:38 PM

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation. Do you have friends that can help? Also do you have anyone who could take you to thecappointment? I'm in Melbourne or I'd offer.

#23 bigsigh

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:39 PM

QUOTE (kyte @ 05/02/2013, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I hope you can find a way to get the funds to cover it and I really feel for you OP.

I have to say, I had absolutely no idea that terminations were not free / fully covered by Medicare in Australia or, at the very least, free to Health Care Card holders. I am stunned to hear this is not the case.


From the information I have found there are some circumstances where womens health organisation assist, but they are very limited in who they can provide help to. One public hospital in Victoria do a few for medical reasons for no cost, but otherwise, it's out of pocket costs no matter your financial situation.

The cost of this procedure out of pocket is 3 weeks rent for me, and will mean I will likely be evicted if I can't come up with the money but even that wouldn't qualify for severe hardship when there are other women who are in worse situations who need help.

Thanks ladies but centre link is no help, because i've used all the assistance I could when my husband moved. The SKB just paid my rent.

Thank you all for the information, I have some numbers to call tomorrow, hopefully one of those places can assist.


#24 Snot stew

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:40 PM

What a horrible situation.  Thinking of you.


#25 CallMeFeral

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:45 PM

QUOTE (kyte @ 05/02/2013, 07:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have to say, I had absolutely no idea that terminations were not free / fully covered by Medicare in Australia or, at the very least, free to Health Care Card holders. I am stunned to hear this is not the case.


Me too! That's awful sad.gif  It seems ridiculous to have this as something that can't be accessed by all when necessary sad.gif

All the best OP, what a horrible situation. And what a b*st*rd.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Recall: Another cot deemed unsafe

Parents are being warned to check their baby's cot is not one of those which have been recalled in recent weeks due to safety concerns.

The truth about breastfeeding and weightloss

Celebrities often state that their post-baby weight loss is down to breastfeeding, and breastfeeding alone. But that's not the reality for all women.

10 weird things little kids do

Most kids have their own personal brand of oddity. It's usually nothing to worry about, but every now and again you might find yourself scratching your head and asking, ?Really? Is that really a thing??

The app that helps detect signs of autism

Parents can assess their children's progress at critical developmental stages, thanks to this new app.

Long battle to learn the truth about Ariana's birth

Cerise and Tim Lawn spent two years fighting to find out how a healthy pregnancy turned into a nightmare birth, and why their daughter now suffers from disabilities she shouldn't have.

Christina Aguilera announces daughter's name

Christina Aguilera and her fiance, Matt Rutler, have welcomed their daughter into the world.

Couple caught in surrogacy crackdown

An Australian couple caught up in Thailand's surrogacy crackdown have said many parents are distraught and facing dire financial difficulties as are they are unable to bring their surrogate-born babies home.

'Tired' mum dies of undiagnosed diabetes

New mum Nicky Rigby thought her exhaustion was due to the demands of looking after her baby. But the 26-year-old was seriously ill with diabetes, and died due to her condition not being diagnosed.

5 co-sleeping myths busted

In case you are co-sleeping with your baby, and all the ?helpful? advice from others is sending you down the slippery slope of self-doubt, let?s bust a few myths on the topic.

When pregnancy takes you down memory lane

One mum-to-be discovers pregnancy hormones can give rise to some surprising emotions.

What?s your love language?

The secret to making your partner feel special is to know which language of love they favour ? and it?s the same for your kids, too.

Returning to exercise after a caesarean

I had my daughter four months ago via caesarean, and I want to get back into exercise. What are some good first steps I can take?

20 signs of a great relationship

The secret to a perfect relationship is admitting you are wrong after an argument, five kisses a day and sex twice a week, a new survey suggests.

Video: emotional 60-second Robin Williams tribute

Take a minute to remember some of the greatest films of your childhood ... and have a few tissues close at hand.

The realities of escaping domestic violence

?Why doesn?t she just leave?? is the common question people ask when trying to understand domestic violence. For many, leaving the relationship is far from straightforward.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Smiggle is painting the town red!

We have 3 Red Smiggle prize packs to give away! Enter by posting a photo of something red to your Instagram.

Mum gives birth at school

Whether they're out of favour traditional names, or the parents were a little creative, here are the least popular names of 2013.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.