Jump to content

Daycare have made DD reliant on the dummy
how to stop?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 than4

Posted 05 February 2013 - 12:15 PM

DH was/is very anti-dummy.  So at 5 months we (I) went through the hell and got DD to stop using the dummy to sleep.  We still had/have one for "emergencies" and hadn't really been using it at all.

When she started daycare I took one there thinking that she might need it the first few times they put her to sleep as it was a new environment.  I specifically told the carers that it was to be used as a last resort if they couldn't get her to sleep any other way.  

I feel that I have been ignored as my DD now has the dummy for every sleep at daycare - from the beginning not just if they can't get her to sleep and is now becoming reliant on it at home as well.  I can't get her to resettle any other way now when previously she used to resettle herself no problems.

I also know that they have been giving it to her outside sleep time which for us is a BIG NO-NO.

I'm not sure how to
a) raise it with them that I don't want DD to have the dummy as I feel that once I leave they will just do what they want anyway
b) get her to stop being reliant on the dummy without going through the hell of controlled crying again - which will be even worse this time because she is so much older.

I don't want to be that pushy parent who needs daycare to do everything my way but this is a big issue for me.

#2 SeaPrincess

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:26 AM

If you don't think they'll respect your wishes, just stop sending the dummy and tell them that you've decided it's time to get rid of it.

How old is she?  Your approach to removing it again might be different depending on how old she is.  My friend's DS used to sleep with 3 - one in her mouth and 1 in each hand.  She talked about how on his birthday, it was time to say goodbye to the dummies, on his birthday they put them in the green bin and the bin was emptied and that was it.  He asked for them at bedtime, but when he was reminded that they had gone on the truck, he went to sleep without a fuss.

#3 The Falcon

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:01 PM

In my experience as soon as you tell the carers to stop giving the dummy they will do so.  Might have a few iffy sleeps but I expect bubs would get used to it really quickly with continuity.  

So I would not send one anymore and just let them know you are ditching the dummy.  I have never heard of a carer protest this, or go against your wishes.

#4 bikingbubs

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:03 PM

Either just tell them not to give it to her, or dont send the dummy at all.

#5 shelly1

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

Dont pack the dummy and they cant give it to her simple!

Explain to them you have weaned her and there isnt one in her bag anymore. It will then leave them no choice to settle her other ways.

#6 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:27 PM

I kind of think you started this by sending the dummy in the first place - if your child gets comfort from it I'm not surprised they offer it to comfort her.   Daycare is pretty stressful.  I'm not anti - my son is in daycare - but I can see that it's sometimes pretty challenging for him.   With a 4/1 ratio there will be times they cant always pick her up and cuddle her immediately (eg if she gets upset while another child is protesting being dropped off).  

Also are other bubs in the room using dummies outside nap-times?  I know with my son, I had him drinking cows milk from a cup but daycare still gave him a bottle because littler babies were having them, and he'd get upset, cry and try to snatch them.   I was OK when I understood the reasoning.  Now he has transitioned rooms no one has a bottle anymore and he is fine.  

It might be a choice between your daughter using her own dummy or having to break up squabbles all the time.

Agree with PPs that you just need to tell them dummies are finished.  Can you gradually swap it for a lovey/blankie/bear so she still has a comfort item?

#7 Natttmumm

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

I think the dummy is an all or nothing thing. Either just use it or don't send it and don't keep an emergency.
It's confusing for her

#8 lozoodle

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:36 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 06/02/2013, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the dummy is an all or nothing thing. Either just use it or don't send it and don't keep an emergency.
It's confusing for her

I agree, they either have a dummy or they don't.

I would cut it out completely if you don't want her having it, or just continue giving it for sleep. Either way its really not a big deal. If you don't want them to use a dummy, just don't send one.



#9 Chazee

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

Does she use the dummy when she's at home? If not, is it that bad a thing that she gets to use it for comfort when not at home? If she's refusing to sleep at home without the dummy because of its use at daycare, then i get what you're saying.

#10 than4

Posted 08 February 2013 - 03:37 PM

Thanks for the advice.

I took the dummy in initially and it has stayed at daycare so will need to get it back so they can't use it anymore.

For me it's about three things
- they didn't even try to get her to sleep without the dummy (I've seen)
- they give it to her during the day - she NEVER gets the dummy during the day at home.  Already I have had to sign the injury book twice as another child has scratched her face trying to get the dummy out of her mouth
- it is affecting the home sleep - she can still get to sleep okay with some struggling but now finds it hard to resettle without the dummy.  

She also uses face washers as a comfort item so it's not like she is without anything.

If it wasn't affecting things at home then I wouldn't have a problem - what goes on at daycare is their business - like me I"m sure they do things to just 'get through the day' some days.  But because it is changing things at home I really want things to change there.

Will bite the bullet and talk to them I guess.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

11 things that will happen when you're breastfeeding

After having three children and various degrees of success feeding them all, there's one thing I can tell you: virtually nothing will go as planned.

Surgery for baby born with a tail

A baby born with a tail has had it removed after doctors feared the birth defect might cause long term damage to his lower body.

When 'skin to skin' becomes a family affair

An adorable photo of a little boy and his dad enjoying skin to skin contact with newborn twins is melting hearts everywhere.

35 hilariously weird 'top tips'

Who would have thunk it? We never knew there were so many uses for feminine hygiene products. 

Pregnancy skin woes: acne, dry skin, itchy skin

Here are some of the most common skin complaints in pregnancy and how to tackle them, face on.

Watch this fun dance class for babywearing dads

Is there anything sexier than a babywearing dad?

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

When your kids have totally different temperaments

Sometimes it has felt like whiplash parenting. She perches watchfully while I vacuum; he tries to climb on and go for a ride.

How do our stress levels influence our baby?

Since having my second baby a number of people have commented on how placid, content and settled he is and, similarly, many have commented on how this is a reflection of how I am with him.

Separation anxiety isn't just for kids

Despite its prevalence, most doctors tend to be reluctant to diagnose adult patients with separation anxiety.

A charm bracelet, a boy, and my beliefs questioned

I was staring at the face of my son, realising that my once steadfast decision to be open minded was quickly unravelling at the seams.

Why I'm so grateful for Hayden Panettiere's PND honesty

There are baby steps and giant leaps forward. But there are steps backwards, too. And, oh, how they can hurt your heart.

The heartbreaking story of little Moko

The mother of 3-year-old Moko Rangitoheriri said she should have picked up on the signs. {Warning: distressing content}

Kate Beckinsale and teen daughter recreate birth photo

Kate Beckinsale has recreated her daughter Lily's birth photo, 17 years after she was born.

The adult-size stroller you'll want to test drive

It's one of the biggest baby related purchases they will make, so it makes sense that parents-to-be get a chance to road test a stroller.

Pregnancy announcement shows the reality of IVF

It's a long way from baby booties or bump shots people have become accustomed to in social media pregnancy announcements.  

Soleil Moon Frye welcomes fourth baby

"Punky Brewster" is a mom again, for the fourth time. Soleil Moon Frye announced the birth of her baby boy, Story, on Instagram Wednesday.

Mum breastfeeds baby found abandoned on the street

A woman has been praised as a "beautiful mother" after breastfeeding a baby which had been abandoned at the side of a street. 

A birth with a difference: the 'natural caesarean'

We've shared stories of gentle caesareans before, but a new video shows a new option called a 'natural caesarean'.

Baby name inspiration by music genre

If you're all about the music, then you'll need a musical name for that baby. We've got all the lists for you by music genre.

Giving effective instructions to toddlers

One of the most common errors made by parents is in how they give instructions to their children.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

Vintage Toys

The toys of your childhood

Take a trip down memory lane with these vinage and retro toys that you may have had in your childhood or your parent's childhood.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.