Jump to content

Daycare have made DD reliant on the dummy
how to stop?


  • Please log in to reply
9 replies to this topic

#1 than4

Posted 05 February 2013 - 12:15 PM

DH was/is very anti-dummy.  So at 5 months we (I) went through the hell and got DD to stop using the dummy to sleep.  We still had/have one for "emergencies" and hadn't really been using it at all.

When she started daycare I took one there thinking that she might need it the first few times they put her to sleep as it was a new environment.  I specifically told the carers that it was to be used as a last resort if they couldn't get her to sleep any other way.  

I feel that I have been ignored as my DD now has the dummy for every sleep at daycare - from the beginning not just if they can't get her to sleep and is now becoming reliant on it at home as well.  I can't get her to resettle any other way now when previously she used to resettle herself no problems.

I also know that they have been giving it to her outside sleep time which for us is a BIG NO-NO.

I'm not sure how to
a) raise it with them that I don't want DD to have the dummy as I feel that once I leave they will just do what they want anyway
b) get her to stop being reliant on the dummy without going through the hell of controlled crying again - which will be even worse this time because she is so much older.

I don't want to be that pushy parent who needs daycare to do everything my way but this is a big issue for me.

#2 SeaPrincess

Posted 06 February 2013 - 08:26 AM

If you don't think they'll respect your wishes, just stop sending the dummy and tell them that you've decided it's time to get rid of it.

How old is she?  Your approach to removing it again might be different depending on how old she is.  My friend's DS used to sleep with 3 - one in her mouth and 1 in each hand.  She talked about how on his birthday, it was time to say goodbye to the dummies, on his birthday they put them in the green bin and the bin was emptied and that was it.  He asked for them at bedtime, but when he was reminded that they had gone on the truck, he went to sleep without a fuss.

#3 The Falcon

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:01 PM

In my experience as soon as you tell the carers to stop giving the dummy they will do so.  Might have a few iffy sleeps but I expect bubs would get used to it really quickly with continuity.  

So I would not send one anymore and just let them know you are ditching the dummy.  I have never heard of a carer protest this, or go against your wishes.

#4 bikingbubs

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:03 PM

Either just tell them not to give it to her, or dont send the dummy at all.

#5 shelly1

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

Dont pack the dummy and they cant give it to her simple!

Explain to them you have weaned her and there isnt one in her bag anymore. It will then leave them no choice to settle her other ways.

#6 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:27 PM

I kind of think you started this by sending the dummy in the first place - if your child gets comfort from it I'm not surprised they offer it to comfort her.   Daycare is pretty stressful.  I'm not anti - my son is in daycare - but I can see that it's sometimes pretty challenging for him.   With a 4/1 ratio there will be times they cant always pick her up and cuddle her immediately (eg if she gets upset while another child is protesting being dropped off).  

Also are other bubs in the room using dummies outside nap-times?  I know with my son, I had him drinking cows milk from a cup but daycare still gave him a bottle because littler babies were having them, and he'd get upset, cry and try to snatch them.   I was OK when I understood the reasoning.  Now he has transitioned rooms no one has a bottle anymore and he is fine.  

It might be a choice between your daughter using her own dummy or having to break up squabbles all the time.

Agree with PPs that you just need to tell them dummies are finished.  Can you gradually swap it for a lovey/blankie/bear so she still has a comfort item?

#7 Natttmumm

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

I think the dummy is an all or nothing thing. Either just use it or don't send it and don't keep an emergency.
It's confusing for her

#8 lozoodle

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:36 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 06/02/2013, 01:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the dummy is an all or nothing thing. Either just use it or don't send it and don't keep an emergency.
It's confusing for her

I agree, they either have a dummy or they don't.

I would cut it out completely if you don't want her having it, or just continue giving it for sleep. Either way its really not a big deal. If you don't want them to use a dummy, just don't send one.



#9 Chazee

Posted 06 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

Does she use the dummy when she's at home? If not, is it that bad a thing that she gets to use it for comfort when not at home? If she's refusing to sleep at home without the dummy because of its use at daycare, then i get what you're saying.

#10 than4

Posted 08 February 2013 - 03:37 PM

Thanks for the advice.

I took the dummy in initially and it has stayed at daycare so will need to get it back so they can't use it anymore.

For me it's about three things
- they didn't even try to get her to sleep without the dummy (I've seen)
- they give it to her during the day - she NEVER gets the dummy during the day at home.  Already I have had to sign the injury book twice as another child has scratched her face trying to get the dummy out of her mouth
- it is affecting the home sleep - she can still get to sleep okay with some struggling but now finds it hard to resettle without the dummy.  

She also uses face washers as a comfort item so it's not like she is without anything.

If it wasn't affecting things at home then I wouldn't have a problem - what goes on at daycare is their business - like me I"m sure they do things to just 'get through the day' some days.  But because it is changing things at home I really want things to change there.

Will bite the bullet and talk to them I guess.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

Win Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD

To celebrate the release of Love Child Season 2 on DVD from July 9, Essential Baby and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are giving away Love Child Season 1 & 2 on DVD to 13 lucky winners.

10 things I wish my pre-baby self knew

I look back at my pre-baby self and laugh at how ridiculously easy I actually had it. I remember complaining about how tired I was and how little time I had.

Creative ways to store your child's art

Ideas for storing your child's artworks have moved on from sticking them to the fridge door before guiltily dumping them in the bin.

Child abuse ignored because 'it's not your children': Waleed Aly

Waleed Aly takes apart the immigration law that's designed to "protect politicians"

How a newborn niece changed star Australian basketballer's life

In August 2013 star basketball Abby Bishop was 24-years-old and in the prime of her sporting career.

Guilt is my new shadow

No one warned me that when I gave birth there would be an additional side order of guilt.

12 brilliant Ikea hacks for kids’ rooms

Check out these creative upcycling ideas that transform regular Ikea items into something special for your little ones.

Child's nightmare about 'man with a light' turned out to be real

For three days, a three-year-old boy had been saying there was "a man with a light" outside his window at night.

Toilet truths after giving birth

The thought of going to the toilet after giving birth is often feared, but there are ways to make it less painful.

Woman asks strangers for $1 million to stop her having an abortion

An anonymous woman is taking an extreme moral and ethical stand by seeking $1 million in donations to prevent her going ahead with a planned abortion.

How a woman's dying wish made another woman a mum

"I kind of think about, 'What did I do beforehand? What kept me so busy back then?' Because now I'm really busy."

The parenting do-over: what six parents did differently second time around

In playgrounds across Australia, you can hear parents lamenting, "When we have our next baby I swear I won't be doing THAT again".

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.