Jump to content

Is this rude?


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 zande

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:26 PM

..

Edited by zande, 04 February 2013 - 04:42 PM.


#2 Stellajoy

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:28 PM

So so so rude!

#3 FeralHez

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Little bit rude,I might have said "oh I didn't get that message", but not fair of them to insist you keep it free then not tell you when they change their minds.


Hopefully they get over it.

Little bit rude,I might have said "oh I didn't get that message", but not fair of them to insist you keep it free then not tell you when they change their minds.


Hopefully they get over it.

#4 bubble-o

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Definitely rude of her. You had every right to gently remind her that some common courtesy wouldn't have gone amiss if her plans had changed. It's a no-brainer that people have really busy lives and weekends.

Stick to your guns on this one. I'd be majorly pi**ed if someone stole one of my precious weekend days like that.

#5 Zesty

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Definitely not cool. I would be annoyed in your situation as well.


#6 BadCat

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:36 PM

Yes, she was rude.


#7 esme weatherwax

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

They are totally in the wrong on this one - can't believe they didn't even bother to tell people they'd changed plans. So, so rude.



#8 elizabethany

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:53 PM

She may have just forgotten to let you know about the change of date, and while it is not rude to send a "we wern't told" sms, if you used similar wording to what is in the OP, then the wording was rude.  A simple "thanks for letting us know, and please let us know when you have more details" would have been suffiecient.

#9 MGB

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:56 PM

I think she was rude.

#10 luke's mummu

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:01 PM

Yes she was rude, but you were probably a bit too.

I had a friend for ages say "keep my 40th birthday weekend free, I am planning a big weekend away". So I did. Never heard anything from her. Checked with several mutual friends - no, no-one got invited away and as far as we know she didn't do anything.


#11 maryanneK

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:02 PM

they were rude, definitely. but I don't think you needed to send that message back, that was pretty nasty too. Who knows what's going on in their life, they might have just forgotten who they had told about the 'save the date'.  If I hadn't heard anything so close to the event I'd be calling them for more details.
For me personally, I wouldn't re-organise my whole life like that without contacting them first maybe 2-3 weeks out and asking if they still needed me to save the date. A save the date has to be either 'definite' - like for an interstate wedding or something, when you know its just the fine details to follow. otherwise I'd see it as more of a 'heads up' that they might be thinking of doing something, unless I heard confirmation of a definite event with at least a few weeks notice.
annoying for sure but i wouldnt start a family fight over it!

#12 Therese

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:03 PM

I think she was rude too but I probably wouldn't have said anything to them. I would however have complained to my husband about it instead.

#13 Oriental lily

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:06 PM

Inconsiderate.
Rude is probably a bit to harsh.

#14 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:11 PM

She was inconsiderate, and that can be rude.  As for your rudeness, unless you were really nasty in your reply to her I think you were well within the confines of politeness by expressing your disappointment at not having been notified.



#15 honeylulu

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:18 PM

I think your relative was being rude or, at best, very inconsiderate. I don't think your text was rude, just honest, and the sort of text I wish I could send rather than internally fuming over similar events.


#16 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:57 PM

I have a rude question that's so not related to this post but kind of is that I shall start a new thread about it.



#17 MsFeralPerthFembo

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:00 PM

Yes I think she was inconsiderate and rude but depending on how you worded your text back I think you may have been a bit rude too though.


#18 namie

Posted 03 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I think she was rude and inconsiderate.

I don't think your reply was rude given you said she is rather like this all the time. If it was a one off from a lovely friend then your text would've been rude, but if she was that type of person you wouldn't have phrased it the way you did!

#19 strawberrycakes

Posted 04 February 2013 - 08:08 AM

I think it was rather inconsiderate of the person to not tell you that no plans were going ahead for the 'save the date' but tbh if I hadn't heard back from them with more details atleast 2 weeks before the initial 'save the date' I would have just asumed that nothing was going on.  

I probably wouldn't have sent that text but a week prior would have sent something along the lines of: "hey X, haven't heard anything more about next weekend, am I still saving that date?" then left it at that.

#20 zande

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

..

Edited by zande, 04 February 2013 - 04:43 PM.


#21 bakesgirls

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:40 AM

I don't think you were rude at all. I think she was. All you did was respond with a fact and you didn't say anything that was unfair. If she doesn't like it then perhaps a little consideration for others would remedy that situation in the future.



#22 Queen Yoda

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:49 AM

QUOTE (zande @ 04/02/2013, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks all. I am feeling terrible about it now, but seriously it was the last straw with this person (family member). She seems to think, and has done for 10 years now, that her life is the only one that matters and we all have to fit in with what she wants to do. She's never made any effort with my family and I've bent over backwards to be a great SIL, make her feel welcome, want to have a relationship with her kids, despite her never caring about mine. Her text was all about how busy they were, not a real apology that they should have let us know, when I've arranged all my plans for the weekends either side of her date around her date. We've passed up stuff, crammed the other weekends full, and she couldn't even let me know? I know she would have let the other people know (her friends), just not us, the family she doesn't seem to want.

take a deep breath, let it go.  

And just learn for next time.  Make your own plans if she hasn't updated you within a reasonable time frame.  Then you can say, "well after last time, we figured you'd changed your mind again since you hadn't got back to us with any details so we've recently made alternative plans. Sorry, we're busy now."  Simple and polite.

#23 Heather11

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:40 AM

Not family, but one of the kids sporting activities were meant to be holding an event recently that I had volunteered to help at.

I helped round up other people to help, changed our plans, DH had to cancel something so he could stay home with the kids.  

I rang the organiser to confirm details a few days beforehand  only to be told it was cancelled.  I don't think it had only just been cancelled either.  It seemed like the decision had been made for at least a couple of weeks.

I inquired if they had let the other helpers know.  Nope no one had been informed.  If I hadn't have rung up we would have all turned up for nothing.

Definitely rude and inconsiderate, in your case too.  I don't see anything wrong with you telling them that they could of informed you earlier.

Edited by Heather11, 04 February 2013 - 10:41 AM.


#24 ComradeBob

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I think she was very rude, especially with the background you've given. Possibly you could have been a bit more tactful, but you know, sometimes you just have to think feckit and let fly laugh.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.