Jump to content

Is this rude?


  • Please log in to reply
24 replies to this topic

#1 zande

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:26 PM

..

Edited by zande, 04 February 2013 - 04:42 PM.


#2 Stellajoy

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:28 PM

So so so rude!

#3 FeralHez

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Little bit rude,I might have said "oh I didn't get that message", but not fair of them to insist you keep it free then not tell you when they change their minds.


Hopefully they get over it.

Little bit rude,I might have said "oh I didn't get that message", but not fair of them to insist you keep it free then not tell you when they change their minds.


Hopefully they get over it.

#4 bubble-o

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Definitely rude of her. You had every right to gently remind her that some common courtesy wouldn't have gone amiss if her plans had changed. It's a no-brainer that people have really busy lives and weekends.

Stick to your guns on this one. I'd be majorly pi**ed if someone stole one of my precious weekend days like that.

#5 Zesty

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Definitely not cool. I would be annoyed in your situation as well.


#6 BadCat

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:36 PM

Yes, she was rude.


#7 esme weatherwax

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

They are totally in the wrong on this one - can't believe they didn't even bother to tell people they'd changed plans. So, so rude.



#8 elizabethany

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:53 PM

She may have just forgotten to let you know about the change of date, and while it is not rude to send a "we wern't told" sms, if you used similar wording to what is in the OP, then the wording was rude.  A simple "thanks for letting us know, and please let us know when you have more details" would have been suffiecient.

#9 MGB

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:56 PM

I think she was rude.

#10 luke's mummu

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:01 PM

Yes she was rude, but you were probably a bit too.

I had a friend for ages say "keep my 40th birthday weekend free, I am planning a big weekend away". So I did. Never heard anything from her. Checked with several mutual friends - no, no-one got invited away and as far as we know she didn't do anything.


#11 maryanneK

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:02 PM

they were rude, definitely. but I don't think you needed to send that message back, that was pretty nasty too. Who knows what's going on in their life, they might have just forgotten who they had told about the 'save the date'.  If I hadn't heard anything so close to the event I'd be calling them for more details.
For me personally, I wouldn't re-organise my whole life like that without contacting them first maybe 2-3 weeks out and asking if they still needed me to save the date. A save the date has to be either 'definite' - like for an interstate wedding or something, when you know its just the fine details to follow. otherwise I'd see it as more of a 'heads up' that they might be thinking of doing something, unless I heard confirmation of a definite event with at least a few weeks notice.
annoying for sure but i wouldnt start a family fight over it!

#12 Therese

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:03 PM

I think she was rude too but I probably wouldn't have said anything to them. I would however have complained to my husband about it instead.

#13 Oriental lily

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:06 PM

Inconsiderate.
Rude is probably a bit to harsh.

#14 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:11 PM

She was inconsiderate, and that can be rude.  As for your rudeness, unless you were really nasty in your reply to her I think you were well within the confines of politeness by expressing your disappointment at not having been notified.



#15 Lady Garden

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:13 PM

Good on you for letting them know you thought they were rude. Passively whinging to your husband about it isn't going to help the other people understand how poorly they have treated their friends.

#16 honeylulu

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:18 PM

I think your relative was being rude or, at best, very inconsiderate. I don't think your text was rude, just honest, and the sort of text I wish I could send rather than internally fuming over similar events.


#17 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:57 PM

I have a rude question that's so not related to this post but kind of is that I shall start a new thread about it.



#18 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:00 PM

Yes I think she was inconsiderate and rude but depending on how you worded your text back I think you may have been a bit rude too though.


#19 namie

Posted 03 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I think she was rude and inconsiderate.

I don't think your reply was rude given you said she is rather like this all the time. If it was a one off from a lovely friend then your text would've been rude, but if she was that type of person you wouldn't have phrased it the way you did!

#20 strawberrycakes

Posted 04 February 2013 - 08:08 AM

I think it was rather inconsiderate of the person to not tell you that no plans were going ahead for the 'save the date' but tbh if I hadn't heard back from them with more details atleast 2 weeks before the initial 'save the date' I would have just asumed that nothing was going on.  

I probably wouldn't have sent that text but a week prior would have sent something along the lines of: "hey X, haven't heard anything more about next weekend, am I still saving that date?" then left it at that.

#21 zande

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

..

Edited by zande, 04 February 2013 - 04:43 PM.


#22 bakesgirls

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:40 AM

I don't think you were rude at all. I think she was. All you did was respond with a fact and you didn't say anything that was unfair. If she doesn't like it then perhaps a little consideration for others would remedy that situation in the future.



#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:49 AM

QUOTE (zande @ 04/02/2013, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks all. I am feeling terrible about it now, but seriously it was the last straw with this person (family member). She seems to think, and has done for 10 years now, that her life is the only one that matters and we all have to fit in with what she wants to do. She's never made any effort with my family and I've bent over backwards to be a great SIL, make her feel welcome, want to have a relationship with her kids, despite her never caring about mine. Her text was all about how busy they were, not a real apology that they should have let us know, when I've arranged all my plans for the weekends either side of her date around her date. We've passed up stuff, crammed the other weekends full, and she couldn't even let me know? I know she would have let the other people know (her friends), just not us, the family she doesn't seem to want.

take a deep breath, let it go.  

And just learn for next time.  Make your own plans if she hasn't updated you within a reasonable time frame.  Then you can say, "well after last time, we figured you'd changed your mind again since you hadn't got back to us with any details so we've recently made alternative plans. Sorry, we're busy now."  Simple and polite.

#24 Heather11

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:40 AM

Not family, but one of the kids sporting activities were meant to be holding an event recently that I had volunteered to help at.

I helped round up other people to help, changed our plans, DH had to cancel something so he could stay home with the kids.  

I rang the organiser to confirm details a few days beforehand  only to be told it was cancelled.  I don't think it had only just been cancelled either.  It seemed like the decision had been made for at least a couple of weeks.

I inquired if they had let the other helpers know.  Nope no one had been informed.  If I hadn't have rung up we would have all turned up for nothing.

Definitely rude and inconsiderate, in your case too.  I don't see anything wrong with you telling them that they could of informed you earlier.

Edited by Heather11, 04 February 2013 - 10:41 AM.


#25 FeralBob!

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I think she was very rude, especially with the background you've given. Possibly you could have been a bit more tactful, but you know, sometimes you just have to think feckit and let fly laugh.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Outrage over baby's icy challenge

A man has been reported to child protective services after taking the ALS ice bucket challenge with his 10-month-old granddaughter.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.