Jump to content

Is this rude?


  • Please log in to reply
24 replies to this topic

#1 zande

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:26 PM

..

Edited by zande, 04 February 2013 - 04:42 PM.


#2 Stellajoy

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:28 PM

So so so rude!

#3 HezzaB

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Little bit rude,I might have said "oh I didn't get that message", but not fair of them to insist you keep it free then not tell you when they change their minds.


Hopefully they get over it.

Little bit rude,I might have said "oh I didn't get that message", but not fair of them to insist you keep it free then not tell you when they change their minds.


Hopefully they get over it.

#4 bubble-o

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Definitely rude of her. You had every right to gently remind her that some common courtesy wouldn't have gone amiss if her plans had changed. It's a no-brainer that people have really busy lives and weekends.

Stick to your guns on this one. I'd be majorly pi**ed if someone stole one of my precious weekend days like that.

#5 Zesty

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Definitely not cool. I would be annoyed in your situation as well.


#6 BadCat

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:36 PM

Yes, she was rude.


#7 esme weatherwax

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

They are totally in the wrong on this one - can't believe they didn't even bother to tell people they'd changed plans. So, so rude.



#8 elizabethany

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:53 PM

She may have just forgotten to let you know about the change of date, and while it is not rude to send a "we wern't told" sms, if you used similar wording to what is in the OP, then the wording was rude.  A simple "thanks for letting us know, and please let us know when you have more details" would have been suffiecient.

#9 MGB

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:56 PM

I think she was rude.

#10 luke's mummu

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:01 PM

Yes she was rude, but you were probably a bit too.

I had a friend for ages say "keep my 40th birthday weekend free, I am planning a big weekend away". So I did. Never heard anything from her. Checked with several mutual friends - no, no-one got invited away and as far as we know she didn't do anything.


#11 maryanneK

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:02 PM

they were rude, definitely. but I don't think you needed to send that message back, that was pretty nasty too. Who knows what's going on in their life, they might have just forgotten who they had told about the 'save the date'.  If I hadn't heard anything so close to the event I'd be calling them for more details.
For me personally, I wouldn't re-organise my whole life like that without contacting them first maybe 2-3 weeks out and asking if they still needed me to save the date. A save the date has to be either 'definite' - like for an interstate wedding or something, when you know its just the fine details to follow. otherwise I'd see it as more of a 'heads up' that they might be thinking of doing something, unless I heard confirmation of a definite event with at least a few weeks notice.
annoying for sure but i wouldnt start a family fight over it!

#12 Therese

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:03 PM

I think she was rude too but I probably wouldn't have said anything to them. I would however have complained to my husband about it instead.

#13 Oriental lily

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:06 PM

Inconsiderate.
Rude is probably a bit to harsh.

#14 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:11 PM

She was inconsiderate, and that can be rude.  As for your rudeness, unless you were really nasty in your reply to her I think you were well within the confines of politeness by expressing your disappointment at not having been notified.



#15 Lady Garden

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:13 PM

Good on you for letting them know you thought they were rude. Passively whinging to your husband about it isn't going to help the other people understand how poorly they have treated their friends.

#16 honeylulu

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:18 PM

I think your relative was being rude or, at best, very inconsiderate. I don't think your text was rude, just honest, and the sort of text I wish I could send rather than internally fuming over similar events.


#17 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 03 February 2013 - 07:57 PM

I have a rude question that's so not related to this post but kind of is that I shall start a new thread about it.



#18 PerthFembo

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:00 PM

Yes I think she was inconsiderate and rude but depending on how you worded your text back I think you may have been a bit rude too though.


#19 namie

Posted 03 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I think she was rude and inconsiderate.

I don't think your reply was rude given you said she is rather like this all the time. If it was a one off from a lovely friend then your text would've been rude, but if she was that type of person you wouldn't have phrased it the way you did!

#20 strawberrycakes

Posted 04 February 2013 - 08:08 AM

I think it was rather inconsiderate of the person to not tell you that no plans were going ahead for the 'save the date' but tbh if I hadn't heard back from them with more details atleast 2 weeks before the initial 'save the date' I would have just asumed that nothing was going on.  

I probably wouldn't have sent that text but a week prior would have sent something along the lines of: "hey X, haven't heard anything more about next weekend, am I still saving that date?" then left it at that.

#21 zande

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:35 AM

..

Edited by zande, 04 February 2013 - 04:43 PM.


#22 bakesgirls

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:40 AM

I don't think you were rude at all. I think she was. All you did was respond with a fact and you didn't say anything that was unfair. If she doesn't like it then perhaps a little consideration for others would remedy that situation in the future.



#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:49 AM

QUOTE (zande @ 04/02/2013, 09:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks all. I am feeling terrible about it now, but seriously it was the last straw with this person (family member). She seems to think, and has done for 10 years now, that her life is the only one that matters and we all have to fit in with what she wants to do. She's never made any effort with my family and I've bent over backwards to be a great SIL, make her feel welcome, want to have a relationship with her kids, despite her never caring about mine. Her text was all about how busy they were, not a real apology that they should have let us know, when I've arranged all my plans for the weekends either side of her date around her date. We've passed up stuff, crammed the other weekends full, and she couldn't even let me know? I know she would have let the other people know (her friends), just not us, the family she doesn't seem to want.

take a deep breath, let it go.  

And just learn for next time.  Make your own plans if she hasn't updated you within a reasonable time frame.  Then you can say, "well after last time, we figured you'd changed your mind again since you hadn't got back to us with any details so we've recently made alternative plans. Sorry, we're busy now."  Simple and polite.

#24 Heather11

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:40 AM

Not family, but one of the kids sporting activities were meant to be holding an event recently that I had volunteered to help at.

I helped round up other people to help, changed our plans, DH had to cancel something so he could stay home with the kids.  

I rang the organiser to confirm details a few days beforehand  only to be told it was cancelled.  I don't think it had only just been cancelled either.  It seemed like the decision had been made for at least a couple of weeks.

I inquired if they had let the other helpers know.  Nope no one had been informed.  If I hadn't have rung up we would have all turned up for nothing.

Definitely rude and inconsiderate, in your case too.  I don't see anything wrong with you telling them that they could of informed you earlier.

Edited by Heather11, 04 February 2013 - 10:41 AM.


#25 BobTony

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:47 AM

I think she was very rude, especially with the background you've given. Possibly you could have been a bit more tactful, but you know, sometimes you just have to think feckit and let fly laugh.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Life with anxiety

At times, I feel pretty worthless. In those moments, all I want to do is curl up into a ball and hide in the dark. I can try to quiet my mind, but it won?t shut up.

IVF leaves woman pregnant with another couple's twins

An Italian woman has been told the twins she is three months pregnant with are not hers.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

What you need for the 'fourth trimester'

In my opinion, the first three months after the birth are the most intense. Here's what got me through that time after welcoming my baby.

Weaning a toddler off a dummy: a 15-day plan

Weaning your child off the dummy can be a traumatic experience for both of you. Here are some tips to help you through.

Choosing to be a solo parent

Two women share their stories of longing for a baby so much that they each decided not to wait for a partner before becoming a mum.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

The ultimate travel stroller: the Mountain Buggy nano

We tried the Mountain Buggy nano and give it an enthusiastic thumbs up. As the ultimate travel stroller, it's practical, has great features, and looks fab, too.

Mum's heartbreak as son dies in road accident

Daly Thomas and her two young sons were walking home from church on Tuesday afternoon. Her youngest son never made it.

New Kate Spade baby bag designs

Don?t adjust your screen: this bright beauty is coming to you in full colour.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.