Jump to content

What happens at sleep school?
Is it all cc/CIO etc?


12 replies to this topic

#1 WaitForIt

Posted 03 February 2013 - 03:59 PM

I losing the sleep battle...
I've read Pantley, we'd stopped feeding to sleep, every now and again I could get her to self settle with me standing next to her or lying down in a bed next to her cot.
Now all of a sudden we are back to square one, feeding to sleep and having real difficulty getting her into her cot. There is a lot of crying, both her and me. I'm getting a lot of pressure from people to CIO and I just can't. Although after last night and today I must admit im wondering if CIO will actually result in less crying... I'd still like to avoid it if I can.
I think I'm going to have to go to sleep school, but I'm scared to do that (and feel like such a failure). I don't want to get there and feel pushed into a corner to do something I don't want to do. So I'm wondering, what happens at sleep school?

#2 BB1511

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:21 PM

The sleep school I took my DS to did not do controlled crying or CIO. There was some crying/grizzling but he was not left to cry on his own until he stopped. I learnt to listen to him and watch and help him go to sleep. He is now a dream sleeper and has been for ages. I say give it a go or call and ask what they do. You aren't a failure and no one should force you to do something you aren't comfy with. I was at breaking point so needed the help or who knows what would have happened.

#3 Lil Chickens

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:27 PM

QUOTE (BB1511 @ 03/02/2013, 05:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The sleep school I took my DS to did not do controlled crying or CIO. There was some crying/grizzling but he was not left to cry on his own until he stopped. I learnt to listen to him and watch and help him go to sleep. He is now a dream sleeper and has been for ages. I say give it a go or call and ask what they do. You aren't a failure and no one should force you to do something you aren't comfy with. I was at breaking point so needed the help or who knows what would have happened.


This was my experience at the sleep school I took DS to.  They worked with me to find what I wanted to achieve and how we could get there.  For example, they told me he didn't need to feed overnight but if I wanted to then they would work with that.  He was over 12mo and I was happy to lose the night feed but my biggest reason for going was his screaming EVERY time he was laid in his cot.

It didn't cure DS instantly but he was a much better sleeper when we left and it saved me.

#4 Soontobegran

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Two of my DD's have attended two different sleep schools and each of them had slightly different routines but neither involved CIO but rather responsive settling. This did involve some whinging and light crying but the babies were never left alone and not attended.
I am very against CC and CIO for young babies but am quite open to the techniques used at sleep schools as I have seen such positive results.

These two babies went from 40 minute sleep cycles at night to sleeping 10-12 hours within a week.
I didn't believe it possible, but it sure is true. It saved their sanity, it refreshed their relationships and made for happier babies.

In Victoria it is quite hard to get into one in a hurry so bookings will often take a couple to a few weeks to get you in, I am not sure whether it is the same in other states.

#5 cuddlebud

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:40 PM

Timely post - we just got back from sleep school ths morning! The one we went to was more controlled comforting. It was basically put bubs down, tuck them in and leave the room. When the complaints became actual cries and were escalating you went in and comforted them till calm and then left. Every time they escalated, you comforted them and if it wasn't working, you set a time limit for yourself and got lo up and went for a walk, had a 10 min play and tried again. The only time i actually left lo to cry was when she was getting angry for me being in there but not pickking her up - I left and she fell asleep. The staff were lovely and if you ever felt uncomfortable with any of the techniques they adjusted them.

We've gone from being completely wrapped and rocked to unwrapped and sometimes falling asleep without resettling in 4 nights. But it's just day one at home so we'll see how we go. I would ring around dufferent sleep schools and speak to them about the techniques they use. It was v helpful to have them supporting you when you were listening to the grizzles and trying to figure out what to do when bubs had been rolling around in the cot for 40mins.

Difinitely don't be worried about asking for help - teaching your baby to sleep independantly is one of the best things for them.



#6 mandala

Posted 03 February 2013 - 05:00 PM

I won't lie, there is crying at sleep school, but there was crying at home for us anyway! The place I went to used responsive settling and they helped come up with something I was comfortable with, and that was appropriate for the age of my baby.

I suggest you give them a call to find out if you're willing to use their techniques.

We had five nights at sleep school. The first day DH and I spent about three hours with a nurse doing an entry interview where she went through his typical day, his development, what we tried, how we felt. She watched him feed and then she and another nurse took it in turns to try to settle DS to sleep in a cot.

DS and I both cried. It was a huge change for him, and we were both massively overtired which made it even harder. However, I was at the end of my tether so we persisted.

The idea was to listen to the noises DS was making to see if he was trying to calm himself down. If he was calming himself, then we'd leave him. If he was getting more upset, we would go in and do the minimum required to calm him. That's why it was called responsive settling - we responded to his cues, rather than leaving him a set amount of time.  They had infrared cameras in the room so they could show you that even though DS sounded upset, he was actually lying calmly and sucking on his hands.

I found it really helpful as they helped me understand DS's cues more clearly. I thought he was hungry but he was usually tired instead. I also discovered that he hated being touched when overtired and wouldn't respond at all the patting or shushing, which is all anyone ever suggested to me. It was also good when they all tried to calm him down and failed - I discovered that it wasn't just that I was a bad mother if six expert nurses couldn't settle him. That gave me 'permission' to just give up if it was too much and try again later.

It was also fabulous to speak to other mothers who understood the torture of a bad sleeper. While I was there, most of the mothers were there with their second babies - because their first babies all just slept! Remember that a lot of people just haven't experienced how bad at sleeping some babies can be.

And please don't think it's a failure to go to sleep school. It's okay to have a problem and seek professional advice to solve it. It would be more of a failure to drive yourself past breaking point original.gif

#7 SeaPrincess

Posted 03 February 2013 - 05:06 PM

My friend stayed overnight for a few nights.  When she put the baby to bed, she watched on a video monitor, so she could see what the baby was doing and learn to recognise grizzling noises vs actual crying.  She had flown in from interstate to do it, and they encouraged her to have an evening out, so I picked her up one night and we went out for dessert.

#8 WaitForIt

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:10 PM

Thank you, I'm feeling more and more like this might be the best thing.

Ironically, DD just went to sleep without complaining. I thought I'd try introducing a lovey. 99% sure it was the novelty of it but it was enough to distract her from her fear of the cot. I still rocked her cot, I didn't dare not!

However this isn't enough for me to think we are about to turn a corner, we've been here before!

Eta: well there goes that, she woke up and we spent two hours tag teaming, trying to get her to sleep before she finally fed to sleep... Again...

Edited by WaitForIt, 03 February 2013 - 09:02 PM.


#9 nik_klinger

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:33 PM

Sorry this won't help at all, fluff answer & i'm not being rude i just had to say it,

What happens at sleep school? ...... Stays at sleep school.

Hope that made you smile a little.

#10 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

I had a similar experience to PPs - responsive settling rather than CIO (which I don't think any of them do) or timed CC.

Bear in mind that you get different mothercraft nurses helping you, and they all have slightly different views on where the boundary lies between "distressed" and "grizzling" and some can be a bit old school and pushy.  You are still the parent and you make the decisions - after all you need to be able to be comfortable doing it when you get home, and if there are relapses (say after teething, illness, holiday etc).  

If you do a search there are a few threads on particular sleep schools and some practical info like what to take.  

A lovey made a big difference to my son - but we created a monster.  He has 6 now and sometimes wants all of them in a pile which he sleeps on.   If he sees any in the washing machine, he cries and tries to get the door open to rescue them.   Some times he has to carry one in his mouth if he needs his hands for something else.

#11 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

DP






Edited by meggs1, 03 February 2013 - 08:03 PM.


#12 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

TP






Edited by meggs1, 03 February 2013 - 08:03 PM.


#13 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

QP






Edited by meggs1, 03 February 2013 - 08:02 PM.




Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Metal shards hidden in playground

Pieces of sharp metal have been seemingly deliberately placed in rubber matting and across equipment at a kids' playground.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.