Jump to content

What happens at sleep school?
Is it all cc/CIO etc?


12 replies to this topic

#1 WaitForIt

Posted 03 February 2013 - 03:59 PM

I losing the sleep battle...
I've read Pantley, we'd stopped feeding to sleep, every now and again I could get her to self settle with me standing next to her or lying down in a bed next to her cot.
Now all of a sudden we are back to square one, feeding to sleep and having real difficulty getting her into her cot. There is a lot of crying, both her and me. I'm getting a lot of pressure from people to CIO and I just can't. Although after last night and today I must admit im wondering if CIO will actually result in less crying... I'd still like to avoid it if I can.
I think I'm going to have to go to sleep school, but I'm scared to do that (and feel like such a failure). I don't want to get there and feel pushed into a corner to do something I don't want to do. So I'm wondering, what happens at sleep school?

#2 BB1511

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:21 PM

The sleep school I took my DS to did not do controlled crying or CIO. There was some crying/grizzling but he was not left to cry on his own until he stopped. I learnt to listen to him and watch and help him go to sleep. He is now a dream sleeper and has been for ages. I say give it a go or call and ask what they do. You aren't a failure and no one should force you to do something you aren't comfy with. I was at breaking point so needed the help or who knows what would have happened.

#3 Lil Chickens

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:27 PM

QUOTE (BB1511 @ 03/02/2013, 05:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The sleep school I took my DS to did not do controlled crying or CIO. There was some crying/grizzling but he was not left to cry on his own until he stopped. I learnt to listen to him and watch and help him go to sleep. He is now a dream sleeper and has been for ages. I say give it a go or call and ask what they do. You aren't a failure and no one should force you to do something you aren't comfy with. I was at breaking point so needed the help or who knows what would have happened.


This was my experience at the sleep school I took DS to.  They worked with me to find what I wanted to achieve and how we could get there.  For example, they told me he didn't need to feed overnight but if I wanted to then they would work with that.  He was over 12mo and I was happy to lose the night feed but my biggest reason for going was his screaming EVERY time he was laid in his cot.

It didn't cure DS instantly but he was a much better sleeper when we left and it saved me.

#4 Soontobegran

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Two of my DD's have attended two different sleep schools and each of them had slightly different routines but neither involved CIO but rather responsive settling. This did involve some whinging and light crying but the babies were never left alone and not attended.
I am very against CC and CIO for young babies but am quite open to the techniques used at sleep schools as I have seen such positive results.

These two babies went from 40 minute sleep cycles at night to sleeping 10-12 hours within a week.
I didn't believe it possible, but it sure is true. It saved their sanity, it refreshed their relationships and made for happier babies.

In Victoria it is quite hard to get into one in a hurry so bookings will often take a couple to a few weeks to get you in, I am not sure whether it is the same in other states.

#5 cuddlebud

Posted 03 February 2013 - 04:40 PM

Timely post - we just got back from sleep school ths morning! The one we went to was more controlled comforting. It was basically put bubs down, tuck them in and leave the room. When the complaints became actual cries and were escalating you went in and comforted them till calm and then left. Every time they escalated, you comforted them and if it wasn't working, you set a time limit for yourself and got lo up and went for a walk, had a 10 min play and tried again. The only time i actually left lo to cry was when she was getting angry for me being in there but not pickking her up - I left and she fell asleep. The staff were lovely and if you ever felt uncomfortable with any of the techniques they adjusted them.

We've gone from being completely wrapped and rocked to unwrapped and sometimes falling asleep without resettling in 4 nights. But it's just day one at home so we'll see how we go. I would ring around dufferent sleep schools and speak to them about the techniques they use. It was v helpful to have them supporting you when you were listening to the grizzles and trying to figure out what to do when bubs had been rolling around in the cot for 40mins.

Difinitely don't be worried about asking for help - teaching your baby to sleep independantly is one of the best things for them.



#6 mandala

Posted 03 February 2013 - 05:00 PM

I won't lie, there is crying at sleep school, but there was crying at home for us anyway! The place I went to used responsive settling and they helped come up with something I was comfortable with, and that was appropriate for the age of my baby.

I suggest you give them a call to find out if you're willing to use their techniques.

We had five nights at sleep school. The first day DH and I spent about three hours with a nurse doing an entry interview where she went through his typical day, his development, what we tried, how we felt. She watched him feed and then she and another nurse took it in turns to try to settle DS to sleep in a cot.

DS and I both cried. It was a huge change for him, and we were both massively overtired which made it even harder. However, I was at the end of my tether so we persisted.

The idea was to listen to the noises DS was making to see if he was trying to calm himself down. If he was calming himself, then we'd leave him. If he was getting more upset, we would go in and do the minimum required to calm him. That's why it was called responsive settling - we responded to his cues, rather than leaving him a set amount of time.  They had infrared cameras in the room so they could show you that even though DS sounded upset, he was actually lying calmly and sucking on his hands.

I found it really helpful as they helped me understand DS's cues more clearly. I thought he was hungry but he was usually tired instead. I also discovered that he hated being touched when overtired and wouldn't respond at all the patting or shushing, which is all anyone ever suggested to me. It was also good when they all tried to calm him down and failed - I discovered that it wasn't just that I was a bad mother if six expert nurses couldn't settle him. That gave me 'permission' to just give up if it was too much and try again later.

It was also fabulous to speak to other mothers who understood the torture of a bad sleeper. While I was there, most of the mothers were there with their second babies - because their first babies all just slept! Remember that a lot of people just haven't experienced how bad at sleeping some babies can be.

And please don't think it's a failure to go to sleep school. It's okay to have a problem and seek professional advice to solve it. It would be more of a failure to drive yourself past breaking point original.gif

#7 SeaPrincess

Posted 03 February 2013 - 05:06 PM

My friend stayed overnight for a few nights.  When she put the baby to bed, she watched on a video monitor, so she could see what the baby was doing and learn to recognise grizzling noises vs actual crying.  She had flown in from interstate to do it, and they encouraged her to have an evening out, so I picked her up one night and we went out for dessert.

#8 WaitForIt

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:10 PM

Thank you, I'm feeling more and more like this might be the best thing.

Ironically, DD just went to sleep without complaining. I thought I'd try introducing a lovey. 99% sure it was the novelty of it but it was enough to distract her from her fear of the cot. I still rocked her cot, I didn't dare not!

However this isn't enough for me to think we are about to turn a corner, we've been here before!

Eta: well there goes that, she woke up and we spent two hours tag teaming, trying to get her to sleep before she finally fed to sleep... Again...

Edited by WaitForIt, 03 February 2013 - 09:02 PM.


#9 nik_klinger

Posted 03 February 2013 - 06:33 PM

Sorry this won't help at all, fluff answer & i'm not being rude i just had to say it,

What happens at sleep school? ...... Stays at sleep school.

Hope that made you smile a little.

#10 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

I had a similar experience to PPs - responsive settling rather than CIO (which I don't think any of them do) or timed CC.

Bear in mind that you get different mothercraft nurses helping you, and they all have slightly different views on where the boundary lies between "distressed" and "grizzling" and some can be a bit old school and pushy.  You are still the parent and you make the decisions - after all you need to be able to be comfortable doing it when you get home, and if there are relapses (say after teething, illness, holiday etc).  

If you do a search there are a few threads on particular sleep schools and some practical info like what to take.  

A lovey made a big difference to my son - but we created a monster.  He has 6 now and sometimes wants all of them in a pile which he sleeps on.   If he sees any in the washing machine, he cries and tries to get the door open to rescue them.   Some times he has to carry one in his mouth if he needs his hands for something else.

#11 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

DP






Edited by meggs1, 03 February 2013 - 08:03 PM.


#12 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

TP






Edited by meggs1, 03 February 2013 - 08:03 PM.


#13 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 03 February 2013 - 08:01 PM

QP






Edited by meggs1, 03 February 2013 - 08:02 PM.




Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.