Jump to content

Not sure how to RSVP


  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#1 Lickety Split

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:25 PM

I'm due to have DS in 2 weeks. I have one week left to RSVP to a friend's (more DH's friend than mine) wedding. The baby will be approx 4-5 weeks old at the time of the wedding. I would love to be able to go but not sure if I'll be feeling up to it, especially if I have to have another caesar. How would you RSVP in this situation?

ETA: Assuming they'll be ok with me bringing the baby of course. Maybe I should ask them...

Edited by Lickety Split, 01 February 2013 - 07:32 PM.


#2 libbylu

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:33 PM

Assuming that the wedding is not too far away, I would just RSVP to say that you will come.  At the very least your DH can go.  If you can't make it, he can just make excuses on the day to say that you had planned to be there were not up to it.  In any case, unless you suffer some kind of complications and you would imagine you would be able to cope with an hour or two at least.


#3 icekool

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:34 PM

If you explained the situation, they will understand although most receptions require exact numbers. They can accommodate last minute reshuffling of guests depending on how the tables are set up. So if you didn't mind sitting on a table with people you didn't know, it mightn't be a problem if you were keen to go to the reception.

DH's friend was getting married around the time DD was due. We RSVP'd we weren't going although I was keen to go to the ceremony but DD came early and no way could I go.

#4 JRA

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:36 PM

It is not hard, ring them and talk to them

#5 Loz07

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

Do they have kids of their own? How understanding do you think they would be if you pulled out last minute?

The other thing is from memory our reception place only needed final numbers a couple of days before, so you could do a tentative yes and then let them know a week before depending on how you are feeling... Could be good as something adult to look forward to post bubs (we had a wedding 8 weeks post and it was great original.gif FWIW we had nanna babysit, but DD was settling/sleeping well in the evenings then so it worked)

You could also maybe take 2 cars (or DH taxi home) if you need to leave early?

I don't think people would really mind a 5 week old at a wedding... I think it's when they're old enough to be running around and/or you have to pay for them that people can get funny

#6 CEJCEJ

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Ring and find out what they would prefer you do.

#7 cb2

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

I agree with JRA and was going to suggest to call the couple (or have your DH do so if they are his friend's ) and explain to them and they can see if once confirmed with the venue then that is how many they pay for. Otherwise if you still aren't sure you either go to the ceremony only or go to both and leave early if your too tired or not coping well.

#8 Lickety Split

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

No they don't have kids of their own. It's quite a fancy wedding, very posh venues.

#9 JustBeige

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:52 PM

QUOTE (Lickety Split @ 01/02/2013, 08:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No they don't have kids of their own. It's quite a fancy wedding, very posh venues.

I wouldnt muck them around then.  I would just send DH on his own.

#10 Bunsen the feral

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:52 PM

Our wedding was very close to a friends due date so I just asked her to let me know 2 days before - when the venue needed final numbers. Obviously as the bride you don't want everything left to the last minute but one late but well communicated RSVP doesn't cause too much of a head ache. Talk to your friends now rather than leaving it.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 01 February 2013 - 08:08 PM

QUOTE (JRA @ 01/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is not hard, ring them and talk to them

this

But if you're under the pump to RSVP now, not knowing what you will be like in 6-7 weeks time, i'd follow JustBeige's advice....
QUOTE (JustBeige @ 01/02/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldnt muck them around then.  I would just send DH on his own.



#12 solongsuckers

Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:21 PM

I would also call them. Otherwise just RSVP for your DH to go.

#13 ekbaby

Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Given that it's a fancy venue, the bride and groom don't have kids, and it's more DH's friend than yours, I would probably just RSVP for DH to go by himself.

If it was a more casual venue, or a closer friend of mine, I would call them and chat about the options.

#14 belinda1976

Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

I agree with the others, contact them (or get your DH to) now and ask what's the very latest they can know by.  I wouldn't say you will go and pull out at the last minute.  You said it's a posh wedding so imagine the amount of money they would loose if you didn't go after they had paid for you.

In saying that I think you will be ok to go to the wedding 4-5 weeks after a CS.  A girlfriend of mine came to mine 2 weeks after hers and she was okay, she had a bit of a dance but mostly sat all night which was fine.

I'd also check if you are able to bring your new DS with you too.

#15 starfire

Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:37 PM

Personally given the new details you just given, I wouldn't go. I would just send DH on his own considering it's a fancy venue and the people getting married do not have children and there is a chance you may not feel up to it at the time. It's not worth the stress.

#16 Funwith3

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:11 PM

Id look forward to the wedding... you'll probably be dying to get out of the house for a few hours!! You can always make an early exit if you're tired or sore.

#17 Procrastinator5000

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:29 PM

QUOTE (libbylu @ 01/02/2013, 07:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Assuming that the wedding is not too far away, I would just RSVP to say that you will come.  At the very least your DH can go.  If you can't make it, he can just make excuses on the day to say that you had planned to be there were not up to it.  In any case, unless you suffer some kind of complications and you would imagine you would be able to cope with an hour or two at least.


This could cost the people $100 or more, if it's a really fancy wedding. Don't do this please.


QUOTE (JustBeige @ 01/02/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldnt muck them around then.  I would just send DH on his own.


Agree entirely - I would send him on his own in this scenario. Of course, the best thing to do is to call and chat about it though.

#18 MuppetGirl

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:30 PM

Personally I would RSVP yes and go, provided they are ok with the baby going. I went to one wedding when DD was 8 days old and just recently one when my DS2 was 5 weeks old.

I enjoyed both and had the perfect excuse to leave early for bed original.gif

#19 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:05 AM

Id RSVP yes, providing bub is welcome, and see who I felt. I had a rough birth first time, and probably couldnt have handled a wedding 4 weeks after, but this time I was back at the gym after 3 weeks.

#20 janeway

Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:29 AM

From my own experience, I was due the week of my cousins wedding but ended up having an emergency cesarean (my second) 3 1/2 weeks before. I attended the evening & really enjoyed the night out (albeit without dancing or wine). Only had one fiasco in the church where the priest copped an eyeful of breast as I was attempting to latch dd on, otherwise dd slept most of the time in her pram.

5 weeks is plenty of time I think, but getting your DH to call & have a chat sounds like a good idea if you're worried.

#21 Duck-o-lah

Posted 02 February 2013 - 07:11 AM

Definitely call. I absolutely wouldn't bring a newborn without advising the bride & groom directly. I think it would be pretty mean to refuse, but you just never know, especially given that it's a 'posh' do.

I had a night out when DS was 3 weeks old (following CS). I was exhausted, and the whole time I was out I kept thinking 'aaaah I could be sleeping' but I definitely needed it. It was only about 2 hours but it forced me to have a shower, doll myself up (to the best of my abilities!) and have adult conversation, which was a sanity saver. You may find you'll relish going out, even if for an hour or two original.gif



#22 mumtoactivetoddler

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

The other issue is that if they aren't prepared to have bub there would you be prepared to leave him/her? There is no way at that time I could be more than 2 hours away as my bub would not take a bottle and there is no way I would have left bub with anyone but DH or my mum so I would have had babysitter problems. Actually most women I know wouldn't have left their 5 week old for more than about 2 hours (ok I know EB is different but it is true for my friends).

#23 ScarfaceClaw

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:30 AM

I personally wouldn't be prepared to leave bub at 5 weeks old, so that the deal breaker.... baby ok? I'll be there, baby not ok? DH goes alone.

Otherwise I'd be there with bells on and probably have a glass of bubbles to boot.


#24 IsolaBella

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:35 AM

I would RSVP that I was going.

Then again I went out to formal function for the night when bubs was three weeks and I had had a cs.

I did miss one wedding I had positive RSVP as well bubs came early 36wks and I was still in hospital post CS.



#25 Lifesgood

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:40 AM

Unless you are desperately keen to go to the wedding I would decline the invitation. At a pinch accept for your DH only. It's not polite to accept an invitation to an expensive wedding if you don't think you will go as it costs a lot of money for the hosts.

And if you are very keen to attend you need to ask first if it is ok to bring the baby.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Jammy, Hula Hoop, Rage: Reddit reveals most unusual baby names

A recent Reddit thread has revealed some of the more creative names in the world.

Woman awakens from coma, learns she gave birth

A US woman awakened this week from a four-month-long coma that doctors had feared would be permanent and learned that she had given birth to a baby boy, according to her family.

'Give us a break': mum sent shocking letter over Facebook baby pics

Posting a lot of baby photos doesn't make you a bad person. It may make your Facebook feed a little irritating, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

In defense of the dads who do so much

It's time to shift the focus off what dads aren’t doing and shine it on what they are.

The modern cloth nappies too cute to cover up

If you're only just joining the modern cloth nappy movement, or would like to spruce up your collection, we have to introduce you to Designer Bums.

How breastfeeding can affect your libido

When you’ve just had a baby, having sex isn’t usually top priority. In fact, for a lot of women it rates about as appealing as changing another dirty nappy.

Should pregnant women be allowed to use 'parent and child' car parking spots?

Is it acceptable to use these car parking spots when pregnant? How many of us would admit to doing it?

Healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man died

Fertility doctors have described their "most extraordinary case" - creating a healthy baby from sperm taken 48 hours after a man had died.

How pregnancy probiotics can help you and your baby

New research suggests that taking specific pregnancy probiotics could be the answer to a range of common pregnancy side effects.

Childcare is a big problem, but there's more to it

Let’s keep talking about these issues and not allow them to be put into a neat little box that’s labelled ‘Fix childcare and everything is solved’.

Pink's awesome response to body-shaming trolls

When trolls felt the need to comment on 35-year-old singer-songwriter Pink's weight, her answer was an awesome ode to body love.

Fertility clinic offers egg donors $5000

A national chain of fertility clinics is offering egg donors a $5000 payment to cover their expenses, a first for Australia which is raising concerns the money could act as an inducement.

Baby boy abandoned in India amid fresh surrogacy concerns

Australian officials could do nothing to stop an Australian couple from abandoning their baby son, born through surrogacy in India, after they decided they did not want to bring him to Australia.

Herd immunity and community responsibility: how free-riders can make kids suffer

Individual choice works for haircuts and handbags, but not for preventing infectious diseases that kill kids.

Photographer captures 'unexpected beauty' of birth

If there is one thing Leilani Rogers knows about childbirth, it is that no two deliveries are ever the same.

Expectations vs the reality of making a toddler's clothes

Note to self: less sewing, more life. Not the party dress, but the party. The toddler, as usual, has it all figured out.

Mum meets 'dead' daughter 49 years after birth

In 1965, Zella Jackson-Price was told her premature baby girl had died shortly after birth.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

ENTER NOW!

Win a year's worth of toys

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby for just the month of April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.