Jump to content

Not sure how to RSVP


  • Please log in to reply
35 replies to this topic

#1 Lickety Split

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:25 PM

I'm due to have DS in 2 weeks. I have one week left to RSVP to a friend's (more DH's friend than mine) wedding. The baby will be approx 4-5 weeks old at the time of the wedding. I would love to be able to go but not sure if I'll be feeling up to it, especially if I have to have another caesar. How would you RSVP in this situation?

ETA: Assuming they'll be ok with me bringing the baby of course. Maybe I should ask them...

Edited by Lickety Split, 01 February 2013 - 07:32 PM.


#2 libbylu

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:33 PM

Assuming that the wedding is not too far away, I would just RSVP to say that you will come.  At the very least your DH can go.  If you can't make it, he can just make excuses on the day to say that you had planned to be there were not up to it.  In any case, unless you suffer some kind of complications and you would imagine you would be able to cope with an hour or two at least.


#3 icekool

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:34 PM

If you explained the situation, they will understand although most receptions require exact numbers. They can accommodate last minute reshuffling of guests depending on how the tables are set up. So if you didn't mind sitting on a table with people you didn't know, it mightn't be a problem if you were keen to go to the reception.

DH's friend was getting married around the time DD was due. We RSVP'd we weren't going although I was keen to go to the ceremony but DD came early and no way could I go.

#4 JRA

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:36 PM

It is not hard, ring them and talk to them

#5 Loz07

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:40 PM

Do they have kids of their own? How understanding do you think they would be if you pulled out last minute?

The other thing is from memory our reception place only needed final numbers a couple of days before, so you could do a tentative yes and then let them know a week before depending on how you are feeling... Could be good as something adult to look forward to post bubs (we had a wedding 8 weeks post and it was great original.gif FWIW we had nanna babysit, but DD was settling/sleeping well in the evenings then so it worked)

You could also maybe take 2 cars (or DH taxi home) if you need to leave early?

I don't think people would really mind a 5 week old at a wedding... I think it's when they're old enough to be running around and/or you have to pay for them that people can get funny

#6 JECJEC

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Ring and find out what they would prefer you do.

#7 cb2

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

I agree with JRA and was going to suggest to call the couple (or have your DH do so if they are his friend's ) and explain to them and they can see if once confirmed with the venue then that is how many they pay for. Otherwise if you still aren't sure you either go to the ceremony only or go to both and leave early if your too tired or not coping well.

#8 Lickety Split

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

No they don't have kids of their own. It's quite a fancy wedding, very posh venues.

#9 JustBeige

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:52 PM

QUOTE (Lickety Split @ 01/02/2013, 08:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
No they don't have kids of their own. It's quite a fancy wedding, very posh venues.

I wouldnt muck them around then.  I would just send DH on his own.

#10 Bunsen the feral

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:52 PM

Our wedding was very close to a friends due date so I just asked her to let me know 2 days before - when the venue needed final numbers. Obviously as the bride you don't want everything left to the last minute but one late but well communicated RSVP doesn't cause too much of a head ache. Talk to your friends now rather than leaving it.

#11 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 01 February 2013 - 08:08 PM

QUOTE (JRA @ 01/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is not hard, ring them and talk to them

this

But if you're under the pump to RSVP now, not knowing what you will be like in 6-7 weeks time, i'd follow JustBeige's advice....
QUOTE (JustBeige @ 01/02/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldnt muck them around then.  I would just send DH on his own.



#12 solongsuckers

Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:21 PM

I would also call them. Otherwise just RSVP for your DH to go.

#13 ekbaby

Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

Given that it's a fancy venue, the bride and groom don't have kids, and it's more DH's friend than yours, I would probably just RSVP for DH to go by himself.

If it was a more casual venue, or a closer friend of mine, I would call them and chat about the options.

#14 belinda1976

Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:27 PM

I agree with the others, contact them (or get your DH to) now and ask what's the very latest they can know by.  I wouldn't say you will go and pull out at the last minute.  You said it's a posh wedding so imagine the amount of money they would loose if you didn't go after they had paid for you.

In saying that I think you will be ok to go to the wedding 4-5 weeks after a CS.  A girlfriend of mine came to mine 2 weeks after hers and she was okay, she had a bit of a dance but mostly sat all night which was fine.

I'd also check if you are able to bring your new DS with you too.

#15 starfire

Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:37 PM

Personally given the new details you just given, I wouldn't go. I would just send DH on his own considering it's a fancy venue and the people getting married do not have children and there is a chance you may not feel up to it at the time. It's not worth the stress.

#16 Funwith3

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:11 PM

Id look forward to the wedding... you'll probably be dying to get out of the house for a few hours!! You can always make an early exit if you're tired or sore.

#17 Procrastinator5000

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:29 PM

QUOTE (libbylu @ 01/02/2013, 07:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Assuming that the wedding is not too far away, I would just RSVP to say that you will come.  At the very least your DH can go.  If you can't make it, he can just make excuses on the day to say that you had planned to be there were not up to it.  In any case, unless you suffer some kind of complications and you would imagine you would be able to cope with an hour or two at least.


This could cost the people $100 or more, if it's a really fancy wedding. Don't do this please.


QUOTE (JustBeige @ 01/02/2013, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldnt muck them around then.  I would just send DH on his own.


Agree entirely - I would send him on his own in this scenario. Of course, the best thing to do is to call and chat about it though.

#18 MuppetGirl

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:30 PM

Personally I would RSVP yes and go, provided they are ok with the baby going. I went to one wedding when DD was 8 days old and just recently one when my DS2 was 5 weeks old.

I enjoyed both and had the perfect excuse to leave early for bed original.gif

#19 Feralishous

Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:05 AM

Id RSVP yes, providing bub is welcome, and see who I felt. I had a rough birth first time, and probably couldnt have handled a wedding 4 weeks after, but this time I was back at the gym after 3 weeks.

#20 janeway

Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:29 AM

From my own experience, I was due the week of my cousins wedding but ended up having an emergency cesarean (my second) 3 1/2 weeks before. I attended the evening & really enjoyed the night out (albeit without dancing or wine). Only had one fiasco in the church where the priest copped an eyeful of breast as I was attempting to latch dd on, otherwise dd slept most of the time in her pram.

5 weeks is plenty of time I think, but getting your DH to call & have a chat sounds like a good idea if you're worried.

#21 Duck-o-lah

Posted 02 February 2013 - 07:11 AM

Definitely call. I absolutely wouldn't bring a newborn without advising the bride & groom directly. I think it would be pretty mean to refuse, but you just never know, especially given that it's a 'posh' do.

I had a night out when DS was 3 weeks old (following CS). I was exhausted, and the whole time I was out I kept thinking 'aaaah I could be sleeping' but I definitely needed it. It was only about 2 hours but it forced me to have a shower, doll myself up (to the best of my abilities!) and have adult conversation, which was a sanity saver. You may find you'll relish going out, even if for an hour or two original.gif



#22 mumtoactivetoddler

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

The other issue is that if they aren't prepared to have bub there would you be prepared to leave him/her? There is no way at that time I could be more than 2 hours away as my bub would not take a bottle and there is no way I would have left bub with anyone but DH or my mum so I would have had babysitter problems. Actually most women I know wouldn't have left their 5 week old for more than about 2 hours (ok I know EB is different but it is true for my friends).

#23 ScarfaceClaw

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:30 AM

I personally wouldn't be prepared to leave bub at 5 weeks old, so that the deal breaker.... baby ok? I'll be there, baby not ok? DH goes alone.

Otherwise I'd be there with bells on and probably have a glass of bubbles to boot.


#24 IsolaBella

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:35 AM

I would RSVP that I was going.

Then again I went out to formal function for the night when bubs was three weeks and I had had a cs.

I did miss one wedding I had positive RSVP as well bubs came early 36wks and I was still in hospital post CS.



#25 LifesGood

Posted 02 February 2013 - 11:40 AM

Unless you are desperately keen to go to the wedding I would decline the invitation. At a pinch accept for your DH only. It's not polite to accept an invitation to an expensive wedding if you don't think you will go as it costs a lot of money for the hosts.

And if you are very keen to attend you need to ask first if it is ok to bring the baby.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Trying to speed up the inevitable

As the waiting game of late pregnancy continues, this mum considers a few things that might hurry things up a little.

One month later: where is William Tyrell?

It has been a little over a month since William Tyrell disappeared from his grandmother's home, 33 long sleepless nights for his family as they mourn the absence of their cheeky young boy.

Winter's child less likely to be moody: study

Babies born in the summer are much more likely to suffer from mood swings when they grow up, while those born in the winter are less likely to become irritable adults, scientists claim.

Single mum of two creates award-winning baby app

Suddenly single with a baby and an 11-year-old son, Tara O?Connell developed an app to improve the lives of mothers who were similarly overwhelmed.

Food for thought: looking after yourself as a new mum

As soon as your baby enters the world, everything else takes a back seat - even the necessities of daily life such as eating are severely compromised, right when you need energy the most.

'Grabbable guts' campaign aims to cut toxic fat

The Live Lighter campaign will take people inside the human body to show the internal dangers of being overweight.

The best and worst month of my life

A new mum's first month of motherhood didn't pan out as expected when she lost a family member weeks after her baby's birth.

Facebook and Apple offer to pay female staff to freeze their eggs

Facebook and Apple are hoping to provide women with the freedom to build their careers without the added pressure of having children at or by a certain age.

How a pregnancy contract could work for you and your partner

The idea of making a 'pregnancy contract' with your partner may sound a bit silly at first, but it can help make the transition to parenthood a lot smoother.

Finding a mum-friendly personal trainer

Burping babies vs burpees – yes, new mums and personal trainers live in different worlds. But they can work together - once you find the right match for you and your lifestyle.

Ambulance service under fire: baby seats to go, response times 'worse than ever'

The NSW Ambulance Service is removing child-safety seats from ambulances, while the Victorian service is facing criticism over lengthy response times following the death of a three-year-old.

Alleged baby snatch incident a ?misunderstanding?, say police

Police say that an incident in which a man pulled on a woman?s pram while walking a popular Sydney route late last month was a misunderstanding.

Ebola killed my aunt and is shutting down my country

Three weeks ago, my auntie, a midwife, developed a fever. Sitting here in Sydney basked in Australian sunshine, that shouldn't be big news.

The night my ovary burst

One mum shares her frightening experience and vows to never take her health for granted again.

Is e-reading to your toddler story time or just screen time?

When reading increasingly means swiping pages on a device, and we're advised to read to their children early and often, should parents be turning to e-readers for storytime?

Community mourns inspiring young dad

A young dad who fought a five-year battle with cancer has been remembered for his inspiring legacy at a funeral service attended by hundreds of family and friends this week.

Meningococcal kills Queensland toddler

Public health authorities say the death of a toddler in north Queensland from meningococcal disease highlights the danger the illness poses.

Nicole Kidman: 'I hope every month that I'm pregnant'

Nicole Kidman is hoping to add to her family, but says she's doubtful it will happen.

Recall: Aldi Wooden London Bus play set

Aldi has announced a recall of their popular Wooden London Bus play set.

Great gift ideas for first birthdays

From soft toys to balance bikes, here are some great ideas for first birthday gifts.

Mum learnt she was pregnant hours before giving birth

Kim Walsh arrived at the doctor with abdominal cramps. Hours later, she was cradling the baby experts told her she could never have.

How cancer has made me a better, happier person

I'm a far better person post-cancer than I ever was before. The goal now is to stay around long enough to find out who I can become, and what I can achieve.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

16 parenting truths you won't find in the baby books

I am five years into this parenting gig and I’ve learnt that sleepless nights and changing dirty nappies are child’s play.

Win 1 of 5 Canon Powershot D30 cameras

Capture life more easily with the Canon Powershot D30. Shockproof, waterproof and dustproof, you can take it almost anywhere and shoot beautiful images, time after time. Enter now!

Best and worst potty party cakes

It's nice to celebrate a child making the shift from nappies to 'big kid' undies, but do we really need a semi-realistic used toilet cake to do it? Here are some of the best and worst cakes parents have used at 'potty parties' around the world.

7 tips for a financially festive Christmas

Plan ahead - and do it now - to ensure festive season expenses don't break the bank.

'Go the F*** to Sleep' author's new book for frustrated parents

A sequel is coming soon to the 2011 hit book 'Go the F*** to Sleep' - and this time, it's about mealtimes.

Great birthday party buys from Etsy

Handmade crafts to decorate and personalise your child's next birthday - from banners to cake decorations, we've got gorgeous party finds from Etsy.

Creative storage ideas for the kids' rooms

Creative and practical storage ideas for the kids' toys and books can also add some stylish decor to your home. Visit babyology.com.au for more stylish modern finds for hip kids & parents.

Warnings over child pain relief doses

The Therapeutic Goods Administration has warned parents and carers over a "confusing" pain relief dosage system.

To the mum in the doctor's waiting room

Maybe the mum I saw in that waiting room, seemingly disconnected from her baby, doesn’t have the support she needs.

10 space-saving nursery ideas

Starting a family doesn't always mean moving into a bigger house - not yet, anyway.

 

What's in a name?

Baby Names

Looking for a classic name, or an unusual name? Our Baby Name Finder is for you, search or browse to refine your shortlist.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.