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#1 SookiStackhouse

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:12 AM

Too much identifying info. Sorry!

Edited by SookiStackhouse, 01 February 2013 - 11:35 AM.


#2 CharliMarley

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:15 AM

You have a really hard decision to make and personally, I would not like to be associated with a criminal family, because the police list his associates. "The crows don't fly with the cockatoos".

#3 Old Grey Mare

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:19 AM

I think the police can probably discern between a friendship between children and a criminal association. I would say let the children maintain their friendship without becoming too involved with the friend's family.

#4 Escapin

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:20 AM

I'd be dialing down the friendship, just slowly over time. I sure as h*ll wouldn't be suggesting to invite the daughter over.

#5 brangisnotaword

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:21 AM

I think you are doing the right thing by not encouraging your daughter not to be friends.

In fact I'd go one step further and encourage her to be very, VERY good friends.

I'd also drop around home made cookies on occasion.

#6 steppy

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:21 AM

Sorry but that saying about lying down with dogs and getting up with fleas is really really a good saying.

#7 DressageQueen

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:23 AM

My advice would be to try and distance yourselves.
Criminals associate with criminals, who's not to say that N's parents aren't having crooks over to the house while your son it there?
Crooks love drama, and they love to spread it around.

#8 SookiStackhouse

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:25 AM

I should just clarify. I am in no means worried about being 'associated' with this family. I just feel really weird and uneasy around the dad ... as in, next time I see him or have to talk to him, all I'm going to think about is what he did.

I'm worried I'm going to say the wrong thing ...
I'm worried we'll get on the wrong side of them ...

I clearly have been watching too many Mafia movies, but OMG, if you actually read the whole horrible saga of what happened in this town, you'd be thinking OMG too.

Edited by SookiStackhouse, 01 February 2013 - 11:25 AM.


#9 ellebelle

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:25 AM

My DS has friends come over but I'm not really "friends" with the parents. They just drop off / pick up. I think as long as you didn't start going to BBQ's at their place it would be OK.

#10 Wahwah

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:26 AM

Tough one. If on face value you have found the girl and her mum good people then it might be worth just going with the flow but being careful (and subtle) to not extend the children's friendship to you becoming friends with the family. Kids can change friends over time so they may well grow apart, especially by high school.

In the meantime, encourage your child to develop other good friendships as well, so that the families aren't pulled together because the girls are best mates.

(Just twigged on your username. Be thankful you're not in Bon Temps, things could be worse!)

Edited by Wahwah, 01 February 2013 - 11:33 AM.


#11 Sir Dinosaurus

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:26 AM

I'd be a lot more dramatic than you laughing2.gif

But I would then calm down and agree that friendships at school aren't likely to fool he police jntk thinking you are in the sopranos.

I just wouldn't agree to store anything in your garage wink.gif

#12 la di dah

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (Winterdanceparty @ 01/02/2013, 12:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have a really hard decision to make and personally, I would not like to be associated with a criminal family, because the police list his associates. "The crows don't fly with the cockatoos".


Yeah let's hope the poor kid doesn't make the netball team or the cops could also think hideous blousy skorts are gang colours.

I wouldn't offer to courier the dad's car around town to drop things off at his mates but a childhood friendship between the daughters? I'm agreeing with Old Gray Mare.

I admittedly did grow up living between a good private school family and some drug dealers who were much nicer and better neighbours. We only played with their kids and patted their dog. Somehow the cops were not overly concerned about us playing Barbies together.

#13 sakura73

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:27 AM

QUOTE (Old Grey Mare @ 01/02/2013, 12:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the police can probably discern between a friendship between children and a criminal association. I would say let the children maintain their friendship without becoming too involved with the friend's family.


This. Plus, people who have been in prison have served their time and are entitled to the benefit of the doubt when they are released that they will be law-abiding in future.  If they and their children are immediately and automatically ostracised, all that does is reduce their motivation to be law-abiding.

If N is a lovely girl, and her father like-wise, then to me it is a no-brainer. You and he don't have to hang out socially, but your daughters can be good friends and you don't have to look the other way when you see him in the street.

#14 elizabethany

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:27 AM

I would encourage your daughters to be friends, but not make firm friends with the parents, just be an aquaintance.

The last thing N needs is to be dumped because of her father.

#15 cinnabubble

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:29 AM

OP, your town is very identifiable from what you've written. Ten minutes on Google and I'd know your child'd friend's father's name.

#16 Copacetic

Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:38 AM

And sometimes, you just wish you'd get to EB before the OP deletes the post.  Really really want to know where you live now lol.

Got the general gist - depending on what dad did, I'd probably let the friendship be.

#17 Escapin

Posted 01 February 2013 - 12:00 PM

QUOTE (la di dah @ 01/02/2013, 12:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I admittedly did grow up living between a good private school family and some drug dealers who were much nicer and better neighbours. We only played with their kids and patted their dog. Somehow the cops were not overly concerned about us playing Barbies together.


To my mind, there's a big difference between playing with the neighbours kids in the street to actively organising playdates with another child. It sounds like the OP is in situation B, hence why I'd let things go slowly.

#18 Funwith3

Posted 02 February 2013 - 10:13 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 01/02/2013, 12:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
OP, your town is very identifiable from what you've written. Ten minutes on Google and I'd know your child'd friend's father's name.


Care to share?  original.gif




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