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What made you go for number 3 child and if you didnt why?


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#1 Happypinks

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:25 PM

I have two beautiful daughters and feel so very blessed to have them. I also feel this on/off maternal urge to have another baby and being one of 5 children, I always saw myself with 3 children.

Im interested in what spurred you on to have more than 2 children and if you did how did you find the jump from 2 to 3 and if you decided not to, what helped make that decision?

#2 Peridot

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:29 PM

We didn't, and won't! We have two girls, 2 and 3 years old (13 months between them).My reasons are purely selfish, because I want a career (am studying nursing at the moment) and our life is perfect now with our two girls!DH agrees with me thankfully!If we had another and for some reason had an illness or disability, I wouldn't be able to have a career, so for me, it's fear of the unknown also!We are blessed to have two perfectly healthy girls!

#3 QueenElsa

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:35 PM

We almost stopped at 2. I couldn't be sure I didn't want another, and didn't want to find myself desperate for a baby in 5 years time when I'm higher risk, less fertile and it would suit our family. So DD3 is here, she's a delight and 2 to 3 is busier but wonderful. I have enjoyed her infanthood so much more than the others.

We won't have more because of my career and desire to travel.

#4 Happypinks

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:35 PM

QUOTE (Peridot @ 31/01/2013, 09:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We didn't, and won't! We are blessed to have two perfectly healthy girls!


Completely get your reasonings peridot. 70% of the time I feel the same but that nagging 30% thinks how lovely it'll be for them especially when theyre grown up to have more than one sibling. On the other hand I dont want to upset the apple cart and couldnt bare the thought of one feeling left out or not getting enough attention whereas now DH can have one each when needed.

So many pro's and cons...

#5 Happypinks

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:36 PM

Doctorseuss - How lovely to have 3 girls too!! That makes me more broody! original.gif

Edited by Happypinks, 31 January 2013 - 09:37 PM.


#6 VeritasVinum

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:36 PM

Two boys 22m apart.

I always wanted three kids (am from three - my brother has three kids BGG). It was not a gender thing. I just wanted three. DH agreed after much discussion.

We had DD 26m after DS2 was born.

Three is enough for me.

Jump fom one to two was the hardest. Working out your time management. DD just fitted in. She did become more of a handful at 20m of age.... Can't wait until she is 4 LOL!



#7 Happypinks

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:39 PM

QUOTE (lsolaBella @ 31/01/2013, 09:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It was not a gender thing. I just wanted three.


I feel the same and gender makes no difference, its that 'little group' of 3 as opposed to 2. But I change my  mind daily!

#8 R2B2

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:42 PM

Our number 3 decided she was coming  happy.gif

the jump has been the most noticeable for me. I feel like the days are shorter and my time is stretched to its limits.

in saying all of that, she has been the most wonderful thing to happen to us. the kids adore her, and I am completely smitten with her.

3 just feel so "right" for us. it's hard to even explain, but it just feels so very very right.

Edited by R2B2, 31 January 2013 - 09:43 PM.


#9 QueenElsa

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:47 PM

OP if you met my DD3 you would be broody - happy, sociable baby since birth. Number 3s often just for right in to families - they have to!

#10 babatjie

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:51 PM

Is the middle child 'syndrome' real or not? That is almost one of my main reasons for not wanting to have a third. My two get along beautifully and always has. I'm worried a third will throw it all 'out'? Will one not be left out? Is it then better to have 4. Now I'm rambling...

#11 kidwrangler

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:02 PM

I wanted 3 and possibly 4 to avoid the middle child issue. I convinced DH to take a let's just see what happens approach to contraception after number 2 (he was happy to stop at 2 and offered to get the snip lol)... unfortunately, the choice was taken from my hands. I miscarried early in our third pregnancy and then a few months later was advised not to carry any more pregnancies on medical grounds sad.gif

I still feel a little sad about it, but then no point fighting against what is.

Good luck with your decision OP. I think there's ups and downs either way original.gif

#12 tiggy2

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:14 PM

Seeing how much my first two enjoy each other confirmed my desire for a 3rd. They get do much out of their relationship, and I figure with a third there will always be someone to play with.
I grew up as one of three, at times 1 and 2 were very close, other times 2 and 3 were close depending in age and interests. I don't think any of us ever felt particularly left out.

No.3 is by far my easiest baby and I'm really enjoying him. It feels right for us, I feel done now. I felt really privileged to have one last pregnancy and a healthy baby.

Disclaimer: I know not all siblings get along, but so far my kids really enjoy each other.

#13 Etcetera

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:25 PM

Our third is 5 months old original.gif

The moment that clinched it for me was at my grandfathers funeral just over a year ago. Seeing my mum and her sisters with their children all supporting each other. It's hard to articulate, but it was something about my aunts coming together and having each other, and I wanted my boys to have more than just each other to lean on.

We're busier and its been up and down, but DD is a beautiful soul and our boys adore her which is lovely to see.

#14 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:36 PM

I felt that I was a bit too old to cope with three little ones after having DS at 39. My obstetrician also said that I probably should not have any more after complicated deliveries with both. DD was born at 6lb 2oz, DS at 11lb 12oz and I didn't want to risk doubling the birth weight again!

#15 marnie27

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:41 PM

We had been discussing a third and whilst there were many sensible reasons not to (house size, car size, finances, DP's age, massive fertility costs, very difficult pregnancies etc) we were seriously considering it anyway. Then DP was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night in an ambulance - she had a virus that had attacked her heart.

I spent the night in the emergency department with our two little babies waiting to find out whether she was ok and the prospect of potentially raising our children without her was enough to feel like we're done. She can't carry a third now anyway because of her heart and I don't want to, we are just enjoying the two precious children we have. And frankly after our long journey to have them that feels like more than enough blessings.  original.gif

#16 bakesgirls

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:54 PM

We have 3 girls. I had a desire like nothing I have ever had before to have a third child, so we agreed that a third would be our last child. From our perspective, we could afford it, we wanted another after DD2, we could fit another child into our home and car without having to upgrade anything and so on. We couldn't see any practical reasons that would have prevented it.

DH was a little worried about tempting fate though. From his perspective we already had 2 healthy children, why risk the next one having any problems.

Now that we have 3 I am torn about wanting a fourth. I don't feel 'done' so to speak, but at the same time I feel that 3 is the right number for us, until it gets into my head that 4 would be better. It's just something that I can't get my mind set on. I look at them and think 'definitely one more', then they carry on like pork chops about something stupid and I think 'nope, I'm done' original.gif



#17 unicorn

Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:17 PM

I always thought I would have 4 children, boy, boy, girl and boy.
After my first DS I swore I was never going down that road again, DS number 2 changed my opinion altogether, he was such a cruisey baby, easy pregnancy, easy labour the whole lot. I then decided I was happy with the two. They are 3 years apart, a good gap for me and things were going well until they were 10 and 7 respectively that I thought if I am going to have any more I better do it soon, I was 33 and my maternal family has a history of reproductive issues. And I thought it would be nice to have a daughter, (it is BTW) DD was then born, shortly after that I left their father. She was and still is very very high needs, wouldn't go to anyone else right from day one, I wore her everywhere including the toilet and carried her in the shower, she would not let me put her down without becoming hysterical. Even to change her nappy was a mission and I would have to strip her, clean her and and the settle her down again before putting a clean nappy on her and then calm her down again. She had to have skin o skin contact literally 24/7. She is hard work. I love her to bits but holy Dooley and there is now way on earth I am going to put myself through another one.
While not saying I don't want her, of course I do, she's my baby, but if I had my time again I would stop at the two boys who are now 14 and 17. I had my own business which I sold just before she was born and only since she started school have I had the time to even think about jobs, so after 6 years out of the workforce I am retraining. And the likelihood of me finding paid work get slimmer with each year.

#18 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:24 PM

QUOTE (Happypinks @ 31/01/2013, 09:25 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Im interested in what spurred you on to have more than 2 children and if you did how did you find the jump from 2 to 3 and if you decided not to, what helped make that decision?

we stopped at 2.  What stopped us?  Timing, age, energy and how we thought it might impact our relationship.  I was initially keen to have 3 straight away after DD2 was born, but am glad DH convinced me to wait 6-12 months before making a final decision on it.

#19 tres-chic

Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:32 PM

We went for number three (despite my being 40 and having suffered two miscarriages) because of the truism 'you only regret the children you never have' or '...the things you do not do.'

It was true for us.

#20 Natttmumm

Posted 01 February 2013 - 01:06 PM

We have 2 girls and a boy due in weeks.
This one decided to come on his own but we would have tried soon anyway. My heart said have 3 my head said don't. I listened to my heart so I'm hoping that was the right decision.
We are excited to welcome number 3 soon and complete our family. I didn't have the done feeling after 2 but I have the done feeling now. This will be our last baby and I am happy with that.
I know it will be busy and a lot to juggle but I'm ready

#21 Happypinks

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:49 PM

QUOTE (Natttmumm @ 01/02/2013, 01:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We have 2 girls and a boy due in weeks.
My heart said have 3 my head said don't.


This is me completely pp. But i wonder if me being me I will always feel clucky or is it that Im truly clucky.

#22 VeritasVinum

Posted 04 February 2013 - 09:56 PM

QUOTE (babatjie @ 31/01/2013, 10:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is the middle child 'syndrome' real or not? That is almost one of my main reasons for not wanting to have a third. My two get along beautifully and always has. I'm worried a third will throw it all 'out'? Will one not be left out? Is it then better to have 4. Now I'm rambling...


As a middle child I can say it is as real as star signs wink.gif

Also MCS applies to any child who is not only, first or last. So if you have four kids, you get two with MCS.



#23 littlepickle

Posted 04 February 2013 - 10:02 PM

I always wanted three (before I had any ). My Dh loves his kids to bits and is really hands on but is the kind of person who would have felt fully complete with no kids or one child. After the first baby we successfuly used Natural Family Planning until we ( I mean me ) were ready for a second. After the second we decided to use the Mirena so that if we planned a third it would require me going to the doctor to have it removed. I have no doubt that if we hadnt done this we would have 'accidently' had a third. Over time I really came to enjoy just having the two. A third would have really impacted on our relationship both then and now.
And at 8 and 10 there is no way I would go back for more even if he turned around one day and said 'lets have another'.

good luck
littlepickle

#24 eM_Mille

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:31 PM

I'm one of three girls and my sisters and I get along insanely well, we're best friends. Sure there were fights and ganging up on one, but that's normal for kids - teaches a bit of resilience I think!

We are due with #3 soon and I'm not sure if that will be it or if we'll have one more. Like a pp my heart says I'd love four children but my head says "three's enough". I'm just not sure I have the energy to extend the child bearing years (and sleepless nights) further.

Going from 2 to 3 for us was never a decision, it was always the plan! I just adore the idea of a big family. I'd rather have 5 or 6 than one or two  biggrin.gif

#25 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 28 February 2013 - 02:40 PM

I have a 3 yo and 18mo so Im not totally out of the woods yet.

But ultimately my decision was made by how sick I get of the constant attention grabbing neediness and the desire I feel for some space. At the end of a long day alone with them I am so ready for DH to come home and give me just 10 minutes peace - I figure that's not a good sign I'm ready for three!!

I have also sold or given away almost all the baby stuff and I'm not sorry it's gone - in fact I'm counting down to when school starts - that's bad right?

Also we have family interstate and o/s only - so a lot of traveling, we will be a lot more comfortable both financially and travel-wise as a foursome.

And we are old (38 and 46).






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