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Due in June 2013 Chat Thread #14
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Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:38 PM
Gold! tee hee. First time for everything
Had a really good day today, just wanted to share. Got lots done at work, took my dad out to lunch, went for a really nice swim after work and had a lovely romantic evening at home (and yes, that's a euphemism).
Also, had zero bloating, morning sickness, headaches, tummy aches, thrush or constipation. I'll put that down as day #1 of good health. Aiming for another 6 to make a week in a row of feeling goooooood.
Only blot on the landscape was catching up on a friend's messy separation/divorce. Apparently his son is saying that the Ex's new partner is hitting him. My friend brought it up with his Ex, she wouldn't believe it and threatened to accuse him (my friend) of rape while they were together (you know, the previous 15 years) to stop him from being able to take any action to protect his kids
Really really icky. I mean, I always thought this woman was slightly loopy, but I didn't think she was criminally vindictive
Edited by kahm, 31 January 2013 - 08:48 PM.
Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:43 PM
Just came to tell you results of scan briefly...
Oh the irony!
Boyz_Mama is having a GIRL! Lol
And they also saw a 6cm x 2cm 'lake' (bleeding) in my placenta, so i have to go back in 3 and a half weeks (at 24weeks) for them to monitor and check placenta is working, bub is growing etc.
So tired. That second trimester glow must be coming soon, right? :-)
Edited by Boyz_Mama, 31 January 2013 - 08:48 PM.
Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:42 PM
I had my scan today (I'm just over 19 weeks) and it's a BOY!!!!
So happy it's a healthy baby boy, the scan went all fine.
It was so fantastic to see the baby on the screen again. I'm feeling a lot more kicks now.
Such an exciting time. It's great to read everyone's updates.
Posted 01 February 2013 - 06:48 AM
So great that everyones scans are going so well. Only 11 more days for me! Not that im counting or anything
Can any ladies out there tell me, i am so confused about my paid leave when im off to have the baby. My work does 10 weeks maternity leave that they pay me for. The government has the paid parental leave for 18 weeks and i thought i would get both from what i read on centrelink website but im doubting that now. Some people are saying that 18 weeks from gvt is now paid by your work and so is that all i will get and not the 10 weeks from work. So confused and i wish people who have no idea about it or have never even had kids would just pipe down..im sick of all the different well i heard this or that (insert different story everytime here)... I have been at my job 6 years and in my certified agreement it says the 10 weeks (get more the longer been there) but I dont know if i have to take my works on or the centrelink 18 weeks..
Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:01 AM
Hi pjemc, 11 days for me too.
In terms of.parental leave I am of the understanding that you get both. Work pays you the government amounts through payroll and then claims from the government, I believe.
As I understand it the governments parental.leave is in addition to anything you may receive from your employer.
Edited by tigers17, 01 February 2013 - 08:02 AM.
Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:56 AM
pjemc - I'm pretty sure you get both as well. Have a chat with your HR person to make sure, but if your enterprise agreement has a paid mat leave component you get that first, followed by the government paid parental leave afterwards.
That's how it works with me, I get 14 weeks through work (govt dept) and then the 18 weeks PPL. I can choose to take my work mat leave at full or half pay (dragging it out to 28 weeks) but it all just depends on finances.
I'm in the process now of paying off all my rental contracts (tv, stereo, computer etc) so I don't have to worry about monthly repayments when i"m on leave to help make my pay go further and luckily DD will be in preschool (public) so very little fees there, and therefore decreased childcare hours.
AFM - had a restless night the other night, the old leg cramps have made their presence known and nothing would help. I ended up walking around the house in the dark at 2am to get rid of it...and heartburn is making things fun as well.
On a positive note though I was lying on my bed the other night and could feel my belly tightening and rolling around, and I could see little bumps going up and down and every couple of seconds the whole thing would jump. I couldnt help but laugh, it is the strangest yet the best feeling in the world. DH has finally been able to feel it as well which is nice for him.
We put a new cot on lay by from Big W as well. We still have the cot from DD which was brown but with the room we are putting our little man in we decided white would look best. We weighed up sanding the old one back and painting it but decided it would be cheaper (and easier) to just get a new one. It was only $168 so I thought that was very good! Keeping it neutral this time, white furniture and a light brown feature wall with cream or brown carpet. Once he is born and named we will get some nice name canvases made up. Can't wait!!
DD has her last day at her daycare centre today, as she starts preschool next week! Can't believe my baby is going to preschool...I actually remember my preschool!
Going to be a blubbering mess next week when she is all decked out in her uniform
Happy weekend all
Posted 01 February 2013 - 08:29 AM
Just had my scan, they are 90% certain it's a girl. She said boy's usually flash something at the screen, and that didn't happen. I'm happy with that answer as I was so sure it's a girl. So, Nervy when you get a chance can you update the list with me for girl& due 27 June! Thanks in advance
Everything looked good, measuring a week behind but nothing to be concerned about.
In regard to leave, pjemc, you get both lots of leave. It is usually paid through your employer, but doesn't have to be. And can be taken at any time after birth and before 52 weeks. So you could take it at the same time as some of your work leave, or after. The way it works for me is I'll be on paid work leave first, then 18 weeks govt. maternity leave while I'm in maternity LWOP through work. They did advise me that there may be a slight delay between the date you request to go on govt. leave and the date you get paid through work, as they need to wait to make sure they get the money first. So maybe take that into account when you decide which day you'll start it.
Hope that helps
Posted 01 February 2013 - 08:35 AM
Strawberrymilk - they grow up so fast don't they?
My daughter is starting grade 5 this year. Only two years left of primary school.
Pre primary is awesome. I'm a wee bit jealous. 10 year olds very rarely come home and tell you all about their day.
Pjemc - you might find this helpful,
Boy_mama - congrats on the girl! I hope your next scan will show positive results for you.
Kahm - fingers crossed for continued good health. I'm sorry to hear about the hard time your friend is having. Its good you can be there for them, just don't forget to take a step back to look after yourself too.
AFM - I have a tonne of back to school stuff to organise today as well as all the other little jobs I've been putting off these past couple of weeks.
Best get a wriggle on.
Have a lovely day ladies!
Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:19 AM
Congrats ladies on all the new scans! Sooo exciting!!
I have updated the gender list and as it stands so far, Due In June has;
The girls have caught up well & truly!
P.S Thank you girls for all the positive comments on the name LUCAS :-) and i LOVE VIOLET xx
P.P.S Would love to see more of you join me in the belly pics thread, come on!!!
Edited by Nervy, 01 February 2013 - 09:42 AM.
Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:43 AM
Thanks for all the feedback ladies re the payments, that is what I thought too that I would get both but people (most of whom dont even have a baby) try to tell me there take on it and its mostly wrong. I would love to ask my HR lady but she is ditz who takes about a week to reply to the simplest of things.
I am not sure if anyone else is getting this but I am getting over people who have never had a baby trying to tell me on a daily basis how I should feel, how often I should feel baby, how big I should be, when I should finish work, what I should eat drink and do on a day to day basis oh and also how many weeks pay I will and wont get from PPL and work paid mat leave. I can understand people who have had babies before giving opinions and advice but otherwise, kindly stop trying to give me advice just becuase your sisters husbands cousin went through something or another etc etc..
Usually I can just nod and accept what they are saying with a roll of the eyes as I walk away but today I have an aching back and had hardly any sleep last night its getting on my nerves!
Posted 01 February 2013 - 11:58 AM
Oh pj I know what you mean I found that so much with my first "you will need to get a bigger car, bigger house, you will need ra ra ra" were some of my favourites from everyone. Wait til the breast feeding comments start and gawd the name conversations! It was my pet peeve everyone trying to pick names at gatherings and bbqs and I just sat there hoping everyone wouldn't suggest the name we had in mind and then tear shreds out of it. I hated that part! But it is so different with your second, everyone backs off completely because a) they presume you know what your doing by now and b) a bit of the novelty has worn off. It's great! I'm much more enjoying pregnancy this time round
Congrats everyone with great scan news!! We are even on tally how amazing!
Posted 01 February 2013 - 02:09 PM
Hi ladies. Have not been a very faithful group member, but will try and better my life from now on .
Just wanted to congratulate everyone, seems like it's been a pretty good ride for most of us so far, apart from the usual discomforts of course.
I am due 12 June and having a girl!
Super excited. I have to stop myself from buying everything I see on ebay now!
Posted 01 February 2013 - 04:46 PM
Ugh, I know how you feel Pjemc, I don't know if it's just my hormones, but the judgement about coffee is driving me nuts! I have read about the safe amounts to drink - and I will occasionally have a coffee (and most of the time go for decaf if it is available)... but then I have one coffee or a can of coke and it's like "do you really think you should be drinking that?"
For goodness sake, I've given up drinking, ham, soft cheeses, soft serve and the list goes on. Let me have a coffee once in a while. Ugh, and the "car" thing. I have an older model car (1990) and he's my old faithful and has been very good to me, reliable as a horse... and now that i'm having baby, my whole family made a big hurrah "oh no, you can't put your baby in that thing.. you'll have to take your partner's car". And I was like yeah, yeah, I guess in summer I can can borrow DP's car so the little one has the air-con etc, and they were like "no, it's not right for a man to be driving around in a nice car while his woman and child are driving an old bomb". THEN discussing it days later, my DP has to join the attack, when I said "we'll need to get the car seat fitted for both cars or two car seats" and he says "I'm not having my child driving around in that thing, it's basically falling apart, it's not safe". It's not SAFE?! Seriously. It's as sturdy as they come, i've never had a problem in it and all of a sudden now my vehicle is an old rust bucket/bomb that's falling apart? Last time I checked it was pretty damn road worthy. If I consider it safe enough for me, than it's safe enough for my child dammit. UGH!
sorry *end rant*
And Marilyn, this is probably not going to help your shopping problem, but have you had a look at ETSY? It's kind like Ebay, but everything is vintage or handmade. There's so much gorgeous handmade stuff for baby! I bought the cutest nappy bag the other day, and the postage was only $10 from god-knows-what country. So excited for it's arrival
Posted 01 February 2013 - 05:18 PM
Relly! You're killing me! Oh my god, someone stop me....
I had someone tell me they saw on tv a story about some Asian lady who'd had a late miscarriage at around 20 weeks but her body hadn't actually got rid of the foetus so it became all hard, and then it finally came out years later and they'd cut the foetus in half and it was so 'interesting' to see what it looked like.....
SERIOUSLY??!! What makes you think I would find dead babies INTERESTING???!!!!
Also, women and their birth stories. It's like they think you're expecting it all to be peachy and painless so they feel they have to do a reality check or something and go into detail about the pain. Come on! It's not a contest! I hope I'm gonna have an uncomplicated birth but I know that a lot of things can happen and it will hurt. Yes. There's really not much I can do about it at this point except to just keep breathing.
Posted 01 February 2013 - 08:15 PM
People love to embellish on the stories they share too... Marilyn honestly, no one would want to know about the baby that stayed in the belly after it died but to talk to a pregnant woman about that is pretty poor form..
Also, women who have had babies sharing their birth stories ergghh go away please.. we all know what happens in child birth we dont need a detailed account of it, we will find out soon enough!! I have a work mate I sit next to at work never been pregnant before I will add and she is constantly telling me what to eat and what not to eat, the other day she tried to tell me how terrible it was that I was eating toast for breakfast..ummmm wtf! Oh and she also tried to tell me that at 6 months I will have to start formula feeding and I was like ummm no if I can give my baby what it needs and I start it on solids as well why would I need to formula feed... doesnt even make sense but she was quite insistent on it and just said you will see.
Oh and people try to tell me what they think I should name the baby, thats a pretty personal choice.
Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:17 PM
Ehm... What would have been an appropriate breakfast in her opinion I wonder.....?
When I mentioned I'd like to try for a water birth, a woman at work said "ooooh yuk no, before you know it there'll be something brown floating in the pool if you know what I mean!!"
I mean. What the.. I don't even know what to say to something like that. Apart from maybe just "shut up".
Posted 01 February 2013 - 09:44 PM
Yeah, not really anyone elses business how you deliver your baby!
Edited by pjemc, 02 February 2013 - 03:56 AM.
Posted 02 February 2013 - 07:33 AM
I figured that the second I got knocked up I'd be subjected to a zillion opinions from people and moreover, that they wouldn't be the slightest bit interested in what my opinion was.
So far, it hasn't been too bad but then again, my colleagues and family are all really good (slight exception being my sister, but that's another story about younger sisters and baby envy).
It's not about knoweldge or being helpful, I think, when people tell war stories. The unsaid part of all of those stories is 'and this will happen to you'. I think it's either about power or its about validation.
If it's about power, the narrative runs 'I felt so frightened and so vulnerable that I need to regain control by exercising power over someone else. I know, I'll frighten some poor woman with my story and then my experience will make me feel powerful rather than scared and vulnerable'
If it's about validation, the narrative runs 'no one really acknowledged just how much that experience sucked for me - I know, I will embellish it and poor it all on the head of some poor pregnant woman. Then, when she passes out I will finally have the acknowledgement that my experiences were awful. I'm such a martyr.'
Either that or they're just sadists. I think that the story about the dead baby (hey, try this on one for size, you could have a dead baby inside you RIGHT NOW) was told to you by an absolute sadist.
Regarding the eating stuff, I'd just cop out and refer to advice from your GP/OB/Parmacist/Midwife/Dietician.
Failing that, reject the premise of the statement (ie. that you're going to be the type of mother who will try her damndest to get EVERYTHING right) and say something like "yes, well, that's nice but don't really care about doing everything right. I like toast and I don't really care. If you don't put a few kinks in your kid they'll never fit in." Whether that's true or not, it'll stop that colleague giving you advice on how to be the perfect mother
Let her call social services and report the eating of toast as child abuse!
Posted 02 February 2013 - 07:39 AM
Oh, this is a pet peeve of mine as well.
I have heard the "brown thing" about childbirth before too (from people who don't have children), and it scared me a little, but my partners mum said "oh gosh, it's not that bad. If it happens [in hospital], which is does to women quite frequently... they whisk it away so quickly you barely even notice". Which made me feel a little better.
And yes, I keep getting the horrors of childbirth... It's like seriously, it doesn't matter when you're already preggers. We have to go through it regardless, screw fearing something for 9 months, it's one painful day in your life... and it ends in holding a tiny little baby! If it was SO horrible that it wasn't worth it, people would never have more than one child. I really have to keep in mind that once i've had birth, I need to not tell my friends the horrors of my birth story when they are pregnant! Hopefully I can help them be positive about it!
On another note, I can FINALLY feel baby kicking . How amazing!!! I guess I have been feeling "fluttters" for a few weeks, but it wasn't exciting because I couldn't tell if they were bub or not. But now I can feel full on movements, and when I put my hand there I can feel the "twitches" from the outside. I still can't tell when they're going to happen though, because they'll happen a bit and then not for ages, so I can't show DP yet.
Posted 02 February 2013 - 08:32 AM
I have really enjoyed reading the vents this morning ladies! I feel the same way, people annoy me to no end! What is WRONG with people? That dead baby story is absolutely heartbreaking and soo soo wrong on so many levels and I cant believe someone would say that. I remember when I was 20 weeks with DS1, one of my girlfriends told me that her friend, who was also 20 weeks, just delivered her baby and of course it was too young to survive and it died. I was thinking, um, oh my, is MY baby going to die? Why did she even tell me that?
Also, Relly, I did a couple of poos in labour, lol. The midwife also was very quick and I didn’t even know for sure if I did it, then I asked, she said, yes dear, everyone does, I was like PHEW. So even those people who said they didn’t poo, probably did & just didn’t notice! (I’m believeing that anyway!) (We are talking about poo aren’t we?!)
Marilyn & Pj, My sister is a pregnancy NAZI, no coffee around her, but I have one coffee everyday & sometimes a pepsi max aswell. I truly believe in moderation in all things this time, im more concerned about listeria/ deli meats and soft cheese than a bit of caffine or a teeny sip of wine. I’m not allowed to have a thickshake around my sister, although I really am craving them. Hmm, if we wrap our babies in cotton wool…….
Names, that is why we keep our chosen name a secret, someone will always have something to say, like, I knew a LUCAS once and he was a w*nker etc etc etc, when the baby is born, no one will say anything negative! (well I hope not!)
Edited by Nervy, 02 February 2013 - 08:32 AM.
Posted 02 February 2013 - 10:24 AM
Nosy busybodies, all of them!
So far, I have managed to avoid all the unhelpful advice, but then, I have been away from work for a month.
I'm sure that, this time next week, I'll be ranting about it too!
As for names, well, we're sharing the sex, so when people ask about names, we just tell them its a secret. Don't need to give it all away!
Oh but labour stories! When I was pregnant with DD we had dinner with some friends of my parents, and they told me all their stories. But it was in a funny way, not an I'm-gunna-scare-the-bejeezus-outta-you way. I was laughing so hard, I though I was going to go into labour 6 weeks early!
This time round I'm not scared of the labour itself, but of it being too fast. DD was 2 1/2 hours from first contraction to cuddles. I'm really worried it will be too fast this time round.
Posted 03 February 2013 - 01:02 AM
Miz i have worries about the speed of my labour too, I know once my waters are broken theres no time, lol the midwife didn't even have time to glove up! And DP probably will be at work so i have to work some thing out for the kids and if its getting too close call an ambulance if dp isn't home. Though so hoping they will induce me lol
As for keeping names a secret I have found the best way is to say you don't have one yet and you haven't thought about it yet, then like you would a toddler divert the conversation to something completely different like the weather hahaha
I just skim read past most of up there as I read some sad news today in the fb group and got the jist of what was being said so didn't read as i don't think dp wants to come home to me crying tonight.
I had my gtt on Friday and going from the hand held bg machine I should be all clear as fasting was 5.4, and after two hours it was 6.4. Big relief for me until I get to do it all again in a few weeks.
Anyone else feel that they are all organised for bubs? I sat with Mum this evening listing out everything on my target layby. Then I went through our stock from when we did markets last year, and I found packs of bodysuits from 000 to 1 that i totally forgot we had. Then this lil girl will have a big supply of some handmade gorgeousness. All she is really lacking at the moment is some cardigans and jumpers and I have already crocheted her two, so a few more and she is literally all set. Anything else I need I was just going to make as its simple things like a nappy bag, sing, wraps, change mat, nappy wallet. I can't believe that at 22wks I have nearly everything sorted!
Though we don't have a pram yet but i figure that can wait till bubs is closer to 3months old or growing out of the capsule, or just make a sling.
I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, and its great to see the good scan results and girls catching the boys up!
Posted 03 February 2013 - 05:41 PM
Monkeys Mum, im not in the facebook group, but i can imagine what has happened to a due in june lady, and so sorry to hear Its a reminder that pregnancy is fragile and we are all very blessed to be given the gift of children x
Posted 03 February 2013 - 09:06 PM
Hi ladies, sorry I haven't been in much. I do like to read your posts though. I am a full-time working uni student with a toddler so please forgive my lack of participation atm. I am looking forward to my 20wk scan on wednesday. So exciting, hopefully we'll be able to find out the sex as I'm dying to do some shopping, lol.
As for people and advice, I had all the advice given to me under the sun with my daughter and not one of them even came close to figuring out what was wrong with her, so feel free to ignore people if there advice doesn't apply/suit you and trust your own judgement and the advice from those you trust.
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