Jump to content

For those whose babies would only sleep on them


14 replies to this topic

#1 Wacky Wobbler

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

My 3 month old will only sleep during the day if it is on someone's chest, he has been like this since the day he was born. I can get at least an hour out of him but if I put him down he wakes instantly. I have tried everything but this is the only thing that works.

I have been told that by 4 months I need to try and get him to sleep in his cot otherwise he will only ever sleep on my chest. Not too long go I tried to get him to sleep in his cot for day sleeps but it took so long to get him to sleep that he would only sleep maybe 40 mins and would constantly cry.
this then affected his night sleep which I wasn't too happy about.

How would I go about changing this? I really don't want his night sleep affected.

Thanks

#2 Clever Clogs

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:50 PM

My DD slept on us for the first three months. She then co slept at night next to me (still does at 16 months).

During the day she slept on my until 12 months. She now sleeps on a floor bed in her room but I stay with her until she falls asleep.

#3 Contrebasse

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:59 PM

My DD was like this until 8 weeks or so, then suddenly grew out of it - one day I put her down in the cot and she stayed asleep.

She still needed to be fed to sleep for ages though - we have just started to change this at 8.5 months and it is very difficult. Now that she has learned to stand up, she will stand in the cot and yell at bedtime...

Sorry that probably wasn't very helpful for you!

#4 mandala

Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:09 PM

Honestly? I'd start worrying about it a little more after the 4 month sleep regression.  When people say that you need to do something by 4 months, what they really mean is that after that time babies can start to develop sleep associations, which can then take time and effort to change if they're not suitable.

If you're happy while your DS sleeping on you for the medium term, you can keep going with it. It's only a problem for you when it's a problem. And I've never heard of a 15 year old that will only sleep lying on their mother (although I suspect if there are any out there, they're not volunteering that information).

If you do want to make the change, you have plenty  of time to do so. The general suggestion is to do whatever works until around 6 months, and then try whatever sleep training method you are comfortable with. I think it's a good age since they're old enough that they can develop self associations but it's not complicated by trying to stand up in the cot. They can also handle a little bit more awake time so it's harder for them to get overtired if they struggle to get enough sleep during the day.

We used responsive settling to move to self-settling just before four months. It was the absolute earliest that I think it could have worked, and we only attempted it because DS wouldn't sleep during the day at all - not on me, not in a sling, not in the car - and we were all at the end of our collective tethers. Because DS was getting so little day sleep, he didn't get any more overtired than he already was, so night wakings weren't increased.

If I were trying it with a 3 month old baby who wasn't overtired to start with, I would be keeping a very, very close eye on tired signs, and making sure I was trying to settle for a nap at most 1h15min after the previous wake time. If you see a yawn or red eyes 30 minutes after they wake up, then it's time for a nap. That should stop the overtiredness creeping in and affecting night sleep.

But please don't change what you're doing just because someone says they'll be like that forever. Nothing babies do is forever!

By the same token, if you can't handle the sleeping on you, that's okay too. You're allowed to want your baby to sleep well without your physical presence. Just because other people are happy to cosleep doesn't mean you aren't allowed to try other approaches.

#5 xarley

Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:10 PM

I wound up using a Manduca carrier and after he was deeply asleep I'd transfer him to the bassinet/cot if I needed to. If you can baby wearing us pretty handy. Enjoy it while you can. Nothing feels  better than little one sleeping on your chest.

#6 rabbit hyde

Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:10 PM

My DD was having the same issue.  I found that if I wrapped her in a shirt or cardigan I had worn that she would sleep for a lot longer, also I think the bassinet was quite cold so I would throw a hot water bottle in there for a few minutes so when I transferred her she wouldn't go from lovely warm chest to cold blanket.

It can feel really claustrophobic and frustrating when your are confined to a position just so they can sleep.

Maybe using a sling or a carrier could help as well?

#7 axiomae

Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:36 PM

Ah I remember this... at about 3 months I started to help DD fall asleep in the cot, eventually leading to self settling. If you do want to change and have your LO sleep in the cot you can do it - it's daunting, and does involve crying, but for me it was the most wonderful thing - I felt liberated to have some time to myself during the day again! Don't feel you have to carry your LO forever or co-sleep to change things because you don't. You do have to be consistent and accept that you LO will cry in the process though.

I watched tired signs carefully. When DD was showing her signs I would wrap her in her sleep sack (Love to Dream zip up swaddle at that age), close the curtains, then cuddle her and sing Twinkle Twinkle. I would put her in her bassinet (she was still in it at that age) and then rock the bassinet while shhhing. She would cry, but I was there. At first it took 30+ mins, but in a few days it was down to under 10mins. Another week and she was asleep in under 5 mins every time, and it wasn't crying, just grizzling. I phased out how much I rocked and then eventually just put her down and left the room (at the point when she would only grizzle for a few mins. Now (7 months) she sings herself to sleep and plays with her comfort teddy for a few minutes before drifting off happily. Well worth the hard work!

Oh, she still only catnapped for 45mins multiple times a day, but those naps lengthened at about 6 months.



#8 Spring Chickadee

Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:52 PM

Mine is 12 weeks old. try to very gently and slowly transition him. I will have him try to fall alseep chest up in my arms so the transition doesn't feel so different. I then lean into the cot when i place him down and stay holding him- whilst he is also laying in the cot.

or putting light pressure on his chest if he was laying on my chest rather than in my arms.

If you can, wrap him before he falls alseep in your arms if he is starling when you place him down (arms being thrown in the air)

Also, Sometimes what actually wakes them is the sudden change of tempurature, going from your warm chest to a cold bed. Try to have a blanket around them that stays around them when you transfer- I've found this helps.

Also, Wait until his limbs are limp when you lightly lift them. he will be less likely to wake when he is in this deeper sleep. this usually takes 20mins for my boy.

Or if it is that they simply need the security of feeling you close during the day and will cry if you try all the gentle methods then provide that for them. I see security and comfort as a need. Just as they cry out when they need food, warmth ,nappy change. We as parents need to meet their needs, so if being held on your chest is what your baby needs right now find ways to make that manageable for you rather then ignoring their needs by letting them cry and cry. They were in your belly for 9 months, they time a gentle transition to being on their own.  

I have found the Hug-a-bub and ergo carriers brilliant for keeping your hands free to get things done.

Edited by Spring Chickadee, 31 January 2013 - 07:56 PM.


#9 tick

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:11 PM

He will 100% definitely grow out of sleeping on your chest!  No matter what you do!  But I can see why he would like it at 3 months old - it's probably pure bliss.  

Like others have said - if you're happy to do it then there's no need to stop.  If you'd like to change, you can work towards that too of course.

My 7 month old doesn't sleep in a cot, she never has.  We have one, but she hates it!  She slept on me for the first probably 3.5 months and then I started being able to lay her beside me on the bed, right up close.  I moved myself further away a little and after a while I found I could feed her to sleep on the bed and get up and leave and she'd stay asleep.  She has a double mattress on the floor of her room and has all of her sleeps there!  At night when she wakes for a feed I sleep on it with her.  It works well for us, so much so that I've even dismantled the cot.  In hindsight I wish I'd done this with my first child, I was so hung up on getting her to sleep in a cot because it's the done thing, but it doesn't seem to suit my children at all.  

One thing I know for sure is that babies change all the time.  Just when you think you're doomed for eternity, they change!  All on their own too, if you let them ....

#10 SnazzyFeral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:13 PM

DS was like this and at the time it was very annoying. I used to sit in reclining rocking chair with my laptop on a side table with head phones and watch TV. I still got a rest of sorts and didn’t raise my stress levels trying to put him down. By about four months he was happy to be transferred.

We still co-sleep and rock him to sleep for night but at 12 months he started grabbing his blanket at nap time to let me know he was ready and shortly after that started crawling into his cot and putting himself to sleep (most of the time).  DP and I can’t deal with the crying so for everyone’s mental wellbeing we will rock him until he tells us not to.

Just do whatever works for you. if it is not working, work on changing it but don’t think that if by 4 months your bub is not putting themselves to sleep that they will need to sleep on you until they are 18.

#11 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:16 PM

Mine slept on me until 13.5 months. Then I made the concisious effort to take him into our bedroom where he half slept on me and half slept on they'd for his naps.

Now he is 15 months old and has one big day nap where I feed him to sleep and then put him in the bed.

I thought he would be sleeping I'm my arms forever, and the only thing that got me through was knowing that one day he would stop having a day nap.

#12 ImpatientAnna

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:20 PM

QUOTE (tick @ 31/01/2013, 09:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He will 100% definitely grow out of sleeping on your chest!  No matter what you do!  But I can see why he would like it at 3 months old - it's probably pure bliss.  

Like others have said - if you're happy to do it then there's no need to stop.  If you'd like to change, you can work towards that too of course.

My 7 month old doesn't sleep in a cot, she never has.  We have one, but she hates it!  She slept on me for the first probably 3.5 months and then I started being able to lay her beside me on the bed, right up close.  I moved myself further away a little and after a while I found I could feed her to sleep on the bed and get up and leave and she'd stay asleep.  She has a double mattress on the floor of her room and has all of her sleeps there!  At night when she wakes for a feed I sleep on it with her.  It works well for us, so much so that I've even dismantled the cot.  In hindsight I wish I'd done this with my first child, I was so hung up on getting her to sleep in a cot because it's the done thing, but it doesn't seem to suit my children at all.  

One thing I know for sure is that babies change all the time.  Just when you think you're doomed for eternity, they change!  All on their own too, if you let them ....


This is us pretty much. First 4 months DS slept in a hugabub on me, then one day he just wouldn't do it so we snuggled up for a feed in bed. Now at 14 months he sleeps in a single bed against a wall with our queen pushed up next to it.

#13 Flutters

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:22 PM

I could have written your post word for word - it did my head in. We failed sleep school twice, then after 9 months & 1 week (not that I was counting) she fell asleep in my arms, I put her in her cot and she stayed there. 6 weeks later she self settled, and since then hasn't gone to sleep in my arms for her day sleeps (she'll be 1 on Monday)

Something that helped us was taking her to a chiro, and he actually treated both of us which helped hugely. Good luck, I know how exhausting it is - my solution was going to be to go back to work and let childcare deal with her. Not my finest idea...

Don't listen to books - just do whatever works for you.

#14 Wacky Wobbler

Posted 01 February 2013 - 06:06 AM

Thanks for your replies.

I don't mind too much if he sleeps on me but I have an old back injury which is playing up so it's making it a bit hard to lie in the one spot for any great length of time.

He has decided that waking every 1-2 hours overnight is fun so I guess I will let him sleep on my chest during the day for as long as neded as he cannot be getting much sleep overnight.

#15 Stoked

Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:31 AM

Mine had a cot allergy (would wake up 5 mins after being placed in the cot) for the first few months of his life. He'd sleep for up to 2 hours in the Ergo, in my arms, on my chest - everywhere but not the cot. Suddenly, at 4 months he was happy to go to his cot for naps and he even connected sleep cycles himself and slept for up to 2.5 hours there. It all went to pieces with the next round of wonder weeks but it was good for a while nonetheless original.gif



Reply to this topic



  


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.