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Guide for New EB users *Fluff*

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#1 TKS

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

As someone who mostly lurks I've observed many poor posters make the same mistakes over and over only to get so bruised by the responses that they are probably scared for life. So just starting a thread on topics to for New EB users to avoid or at least put on the battle armour for (or topics for older members to get the popcorn out for  biggrin.gif ). My contribution is to avoid posts on:
  • Baby Bonus
  • Childcare
  • School Lunches (yoghurt, white bread)

There are many others - what else can people suggest?

#2 Jax12

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:41 PM

Parking with Pram areas used by people without babies vent
Using disabled toilets to change nappies
Piercing ears in babies/young children
YAAB - Why is everyone so mean?

I heard the weirdest name today, Le-a/Abcde
How do I get pregnant with twins?
Help me write a wishing well poem

Edited by Jax12, 31 January 2013 - 05:50 PM.

#3 Mozzie1

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:46 PM

Whether its ok for men to go in parents rooms.
Leaving your children home alone.
WDYT of the name Naeveh?

#4 Copacetic

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:52 PM

DO NOT mention special needs unless the thread is specifically about special needs.

If you take a pregnancy test, you must take a photograph of the wee stick and make it as blurry as possible, then post it.

Marshmallow is lovely in a salad.

#5 Cranky Old Woman

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:53 PM

Sometimes you will be surprised at how a seemingly innocuous question or remark causes all hell to break loose. biggrin.gif

#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:00 PM

Using soup packet mixes in recipes
Expecting grandparents to be free child care
Breast feeding should be compulsory
Going to a footballer's room is 'asking for it'
Why I let my toddler scream in soprano for three hours at the cafe

#7 Nobody Cool

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

Do not go into the Pet forum asking people to recommend the best oodle-crosses. In fact, it's probably best not to go into the Pet section at all.

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

Do not under any circumstances wander unsolicited into the Assisted Conception section and suggest that people need to "relax and have a positive attitude" as that's all you need to get pregnant.

This will not you may be surprised to learn cause people to 'relax' not will it turn their attitude into 'positive'.....

It will however cause them to turn arctic with fury and possibly make them follow you into other threads and point out your shortcomings...

*hangs head in shame for mornings little outburst*

*realises she isn't actually sorry and still thinks poster is an idiot*

#9 (feral)epg

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE (Shady Lane @ 31/01/2013, 04:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do not go into the Pet forum asking people to recommend the best oodle-crosses. In fact, it's probably best not to go into the Pet section at all.

Only go there if you are a registered breeder and your cat is 100% indoors.

#10 Queen Bey

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

Don't comment about any parenting style in a negative way
Don't tell anyone that you are formula feeding
Don't comment about how people dress their children
Don't tell anyone that you may enjoy being away from your child(ren)

#11 9ferals

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

Any kind of parking question is best avoided I think - not only pram parking but accessible (wheelchair/disabled) parking, waiting for parking, not waiting for parking, parking by the door, parking far away, you get the idea.

And any post involving the words "discreet" or "modest" may also be unwise unless you are sure about what you are starting.

#12 *cough*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

Use good grammar, spell check and use paragraphs.

#13 Funwith3

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:18 PM

Tizzie Hall....or anything to do with controlled crying

#14 The Old Feral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:21 PM

The beauty of EB is that ANY subject or comment, even the most innocuous one you can think  of,  has the potential to become a fiery train wreck.

#15 Boombox

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

This was posted many years ago- but, as is EB's way, it is still very relevant and helpful for all new comers.

1. Thou shalt not enclose thy baby's bottom in the clothes of the Devil (i.e disposable nappies)

2. Thou shalt feed the fruit of thy loins naught but the fruit of the land and other wholegrain items (not including Roll-Ups or muesli bars)

3. Thou shalt breastfeed thy child through the dark nights and long days upon us, through mastitis and chewed off nipples

4. Thou shall learn the wonder of self soothing, and post multiple times your great joy in order to make others among you less worthy

5. Thou shalt understand the terms "scragging" and "bogan"and use them righteously

6. Thou shalt judge the parenting of others and convey this by starting thy posts with "I'm not judging but...."

7. Thou shalt not admit defeat at the training of the potty even though the rivers of pee run freely

8 Thou shalt post and check for replies every ten seconds, for this is the way of the EBers

9 Thou shalt simmer with fury when a sister responds negatively to thine own post and secretly cheer when the sister posts a problem with her own brethren

10 Thou shalt not complete the laundry/dinner/fancy dress costume/cleaning of the oven as thou shalt become engrossed in the word of the many upon the forum

Verily, ladies, I have spoken

#16 Bluestocking

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

I've made so many mistakes over the years I can't even think of them all!

-don't express your opinion.
-never say anything unless your prepared to stand my your statement and defend it unto the death.
-never start a topic on a whim or because you are bored. Spend at least 2hrs contemplating the consequences of starting your thread.

#17 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:26 PM

QUOTE (Copacetic @ 31/01/2013, 05:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Marshmallow is lovely in a salad.

sick.gif    blink.gif   ffear.gif   nno.gif

I feel ill now
Someone cant have really said that. Right?

#18 elizabethany

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:27 PM

Any sort of opinion that goes against the mob mentailty

That there are reasons to not breastfeed until child is (insert age here)

Calling something (anything) bogan

regretting children/wanting to have done things differently.

Any government payments, especially the baby bonus.

#19 Bluestocking

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:29 PM

If you do end up in an argument the best way to win is to yell:

Your obviously a lazy cow and a terrible mother! Get off the computer and go spend some time with your poor neglected children! You spend way to much time on EB!!! I don't, I'm leaving, I'm the bestest mother ever, YOUSE ARE ALL b**chES.

#20 Copacetic

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:30 PM

QUOTE (squeekums @ 31/01/2013, 07:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sick.gif    blink.gif   ffear.gif   nno.gif

I feel ill now
Someone cant have really said that. Right?

Yes indeed.

#21 ComradeBob

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:31 PM

Squeekums, numerous people over the years have declared this s tasty morsel indeed  blink.gif

Remember, raisins are verily the work of the devil.

It is generally not a good idea to decry gay marriage on obscure, badly interpreted sections of the Bible.

And when you flounce, drawing attention to your hawt size 10 bod and black sports car will only earn you roars of laughter from us chunky chumps,and a place in EB history forevermore.

Edited by WingBob, 31 January 2013 - 06:33 PM.

#22 Feral-Lausii

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

Religion.  wink.gif

#23 Lifesgood

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:47 PM

Might it be easier to start a thread about what it IS safe to discuss? Would be a much shorter thread.

Ah bugger it newbies, post what you like, it's entertaining.

#24 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:49 PM

Don't ask "do you think I might be pregnant blah blah". You may as well ask the magic 8 ball.
Spend a few dollars and pee on a freakin' stick!

Don't ever mention alcohol and pregnancy, baby showers, kids parties.

Edited by Angelina Ballerina, 31 January 2013 - 06:50 PM.

#25 ComradeBob

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

You forgot the smiley Quill. It should be

HTH  original.gif

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