Jump to content

Guide for New EB users *Fluff*


  • Please log in to reply
152 replies to this topic

#1 TKS

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

*fluff*
As someone who mostly lurks I've observed many poor posters make the same mistakes over and over only to get so bruised by the responses that they are probably scared for life. So just starting a thread on topics to for New EB users to avoid or at least put on the battle armour for (or topics for older members to get the popcorn out for  biggrin.gif ). My contribution is to avoid posts on:
  • Baby Bonus
  • Childcare
  • School Lunches (yoghurt, white bread)


There are many others - what else can people suggest?

#2 Jax12

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:41 PM

Parking with Pram areas used by people without babies vent
Using disabled toilets to change nappies
Piercing ears in babies/young children
Circumcision
YAAB - Why is everyone so mean?

ETA
I heard the weirdest name today, Le-a/Abcde
How do I get pregnant with twins?
Help me write a wishing well poem


Edited by Jax12, 31 January 2013 - 05:50 PM.


#3 Feral Mozzie

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:46 PM

Whether its ok for men to go in parents rooms.
Leaving your children home alone.
WDYT of the name Naeveh?

#4 Copacetic

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:52 PM

DO NOT mention special needs unless the thread is specifically about special needs.

If you take a pregnancy test, you must take a photograph of the wee stick and make it as blurry as possible, then post it.

Marshmallow is lovely in a salad.

#5 Cranky Old Woman

Posted 31 January 2013 - 05:53 PM

Sometimes you will be surprised at how a seemingly innocuous question or remark causes all hell to break loose. biggrin.gif

#6 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:00 PM

Using soup packet mixes in recipes
Expecting grandparents to be free child care
Breast feeding should be compulsory
Going to a footballer's room is 'asking for it'
Why I let my toddler scream in soprano for three hours at the cafe

#7 Nobody Cool

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

Do not go into the Pet forum asking people to recommend the best oodle-crosses. In fact, it's probably best not to go into the Pet section at all.

#8 HRH Countrymel

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:02 PM

Do not under any circumstances wander unsolicited into the Assisted Conception section and suggest that people need to "relax and have a positive attitude" as that's all you need to get pregnant.



This will not you may be surprised to learn cause people to 'relax' not will it turn their attitude into 'positive'.....

It will however cause them to turn arctic with fury and possibly make them follow you into other threads and point out your shortcomings...

*hangs head in shame for mornings little outburst*

*realises she isn't actually sorry and still thinks poster is an idiot*

#9 (feral)epg

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:04 PM

QUOTE (Shady Lane @ 31/01/2013, 04:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do not go into the Pet forum asking people to recommend the best oodle-crosses. In fact, it's probably best not to go into the Pet section at all.


Only go there if you are a registered breeder and your cat is 100% indoors.


#10 black cherry

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

Don't comment about any parenting style in a negative way
Don't tell anyone that you are formula feeding
Don't comment about how people dress their children
Don't tell anyone that you may enjoy being away from your child(ren)

#11 9ferals

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:12 PM

Any kind of parking question is best avoided I think - not only pram parking but accessible (wheelchair/disabled) parking, waiting for parking, not waiting for parking, parking by the door, parking far away, you get the idea.

And any post involving the words "discreet" or "modest" may also be unwise unless you are sure about what you are starting.

#12 *cough*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:17 PM

Use good grammar, spell check and use paragraphs.

#13 Funwith3

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:18 PM

Tizzie Hall....or anything to do with controlled crying

#14 The Old Feral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:21 PM

The beauty of EB is that ANY subject or comment, even the most innocuous one you can think  of,  has the potential to become a fiery train wreck.

#15 Boombox

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

This was posted many years ago- but, as is EB's way, it is still very relevant and helpful for all new comers.

QUOTE
QUOTE
1. Thou shalt not enclose thy baby's bottom in the clothes of the Devil (i.e disposable nappies)

2. Thou shalt feed the fruit of thy loins naught but the fruit of the land and other wholegrain items (not including Roll-Ups or muesli bars)

3. Thou shalt breastfeed thy child through the dark nights and long days upon us, through mastitis and chewed off nipples

4. Thou shall learn the wonder of self soothing, and post multiple times your great joy in order to make others among you less worthy

5. Thou shalt understand the terms "scragging" and "bogan"and use them righteously

6. Thou shalt judge the parenting of others and convey this by starting thy posts with "I'm not judging but...."

7. Thou shalt not admit defeat at the training of the potty even though the rivers of pee run freely

8 Thou shalt post and check for replies every ten seconds, for this is the way of the EBers

9 Thou shalt simmer with fury when a sister responds negatively to thine own post and secretly cheer when the sister posts a problem with her own brethren

10 Thou shalt not complete the laundry/dinner/fancy dress costume/cleaning of the oven as thou shalt become engrossed in the word of the many upon the forum

Verily, ladies, I have spoken


#16 Excentrique Feral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

I've made so many mistakes over the years I can't even think of them all!

-don't express your opinion.
-never say anything unless your prepared to stand my your statement and defend it unto the death.
-never start a topic on a whim or because you are bored. Spend at least 2hrs contemplating the consequences of starting your thread.



#17 Squeekums Da Feral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:26 PM

QUOTE (Copacetic @ 31/01/2013, 05:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Marshmallow is lovely in a salad.



sick.gif    blink.gif   ffear.gif   nno.gif

I feel ill now
Someone cant have really said that. Right?


#18 elizabethany

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:27 PM

Any sort of opinion that goes against the mob mentailty

That there are reasons to not breastfeed until child is (insert age here)

Calling something (anything) bogan

regretting children/wanting to have done things differently.

Any government payments, especially the baby bonus.

#19 Excentrique Feral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:29 PM

If you do end up in an argument the best way to win is to yell:

Your obviously a lazy cow and a terrible mother! Get off the computer and go spend some time with your poor neglected children! You spend way to much time on EB!!! I don't, I'm leaving, I'm the bestest mother ever, YOUSE ARE ALL b**chES.

#20 Copacetic

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:30 PM

QUOTE (squeekums @ 31/01/2013, 07:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
sick.gif    blink.gif   ffear.gif   nno.gif

I feel ill now
Someone cant have really said that. Right?



Yes indeed.

#21 RedBob

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:31 PM

Squeekums, numerous people over the years have declared this s tasty morsel indeed  blink.gif

Remember, raisins are verily the work of the devil.

It is generally not a good idea to decry gay marriage on obscure, badly interpreted sections of the Bible.


And when you flounce, drawing attention to your hawt size 10 bod and black sports car will only earn you roars of laughter from us chunky chumps,and a place in EB history forevermore.

Edited by WingBob, 31 January 2013 - 06:33 PM.


#22 Feral-Lausii

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

Religion.  wink.gif

#23 Lifesgood

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:47 PM

Might it be easier to start a thread about what it IS safe to discuss? Would be a much shorter thread.

Ah bugger it newbies, post what you like, it's entertaining.

#24 Angelina Ballerina

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:49 PM

Don't ask "do you think I might be pregnant blah blah". You may as well ask the magic 8 ball.
Spend a few dollars and pee on a freakin' stick!

Don't ever mention alcohol and pregnancy, baby showers, kids parties.

Edited by Angelina Ballerina, 31 January 2013 - 06:50 PM.


#25 RedBob

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

You forgot the smiley Quill. It should be

HTH  original.gif




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.