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Crying - when do they stop...
using it as a means of communication


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#1 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:13 AM

DD is a few weeks shy of 2. She has always been a screamer, especially at bedtime, naptime etc although has gone through periods (sometimes a few blissful months at a time) of self settling quietly. In the last few weeks we have gone back to very loud "protesting" at sleep time (and middle of the night mad.gif ) which can go for about an hour. I'm so over it! I know protesting at bedtime is a little person's prerogative and could handle it if it was just whingeing etc but I'm fed up witht he crying /screaming. At what age did your LO stop using this as a means of communicating?
And for those who are going to flame me for leaving her to cry - I do check on her and I know she is angry but not distressed eg the other day I went in there and said "What's going on?" and she stopped screaming and it a very calm voice (no sobbing) said "Play" as in "I want to play now not sleep".

#2 erindiv

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

DD stopped using crying as communication when she started talking at around 18-20 months. She would still cry when upset or hurt, but not as a communication method, per se.

Yours sounds like a tantrum wink.gif My DD is 3 and still uses screaming/crying in tantrums. Especially at night when she doesn't want to go to bed.

#3 Brutta Borgia

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:21 AM

On their death bed?

No, just kidding. For me with DS1 - if you are talking about "going to bed cries"- around 18 months....? But the cries were replaced with "book?", or "need water" or "want [insert dummy/teddy/cuddle/daddy/mummy/grandma etc" ....so really the bedtime antics didn't stop, he just learnt to talk!

Oh and I leave to cry too if I have ruled out sickness, arm stuck in cot railing, dirty nappy etc. I think by a certain age they are playing you, and if you give them an inch they'll take a mile.

(Flame suit on, yes I am a mean mummy...)

#4 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:30 AM

Yes, agree these are tantrums. Maybe my description that this is a way of communicating was a bit misleading. She can definitely talk if she wants something. Maybe my question should have been when do they stop throwing tantrums at bedtime? She has also figured out that if she calls out for a drink somone will come so sometimes she does that instead (45 minutes non stop in the middle of the night the other night). Hasn't figured out yet that to carry on the charade you should actually act thirsty when mum/dad appear with a drink...

#5 Bluenomi

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

DD is almost 3 and has been an excellent talker since well before 2. She still cries because she's a toddler and that's what they do. Especially if she's having a tantrum or is upset.

I use the phrase 'use ypour words' a lot since it does help sometimes in getting her to communicate instead of scream but it doesn't help for tantrums

#6 Lucygoosey1

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:43 PM

It definitely lessens between 2-3.  But my daughter still cries/whinges,  but she has more talking thrown in.  She also can be reasoned with more.




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