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Wish someone had told me..before I had my baby


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#1 Citylovely

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:19 AM

Hi everyone,
I was talking to some of the mums from parents group the other day and we were saying we wish people had told us different things about having a baby/newborn/toddler etc.
Ie. some of the examples were:'I wish someone had told me how hard bre*stfeeding could be''I wish someone had told me that my nipples would never be the same, and they resemble sandpaper now'  wink.gif
So, this is where I was hoping the wonderful world of EB could help me! A dear friend of mine is due in March, and I wanted to make her something with 'I wish I knew/someone had told me....' little book.
Trying to make it a bit funny where possible.
I have two kidlets, but the oldest is only 2 so my view of parenthood is still very small.
Thanks!

#2 erindiv

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:22 AM

There have been a few of these threads done, if you do a search you might find one. There have been some really funny things that people wished they knew original.gif

#3 Citylovely

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:27 AM

Oh thanks erindiv, will do!

#4 Peppery

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:32 AM

I wish someone would have told me that it was normal lose clumps of hair in the month after having a baby.
I thought the baby was sending me bald. unsure.gif

#5 katiebear26

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:42 AM

QUOTE (Peppery @ 31/01/2013, 09:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wish someone would have told me that it was normal lose clumps of hair in the month after having a baby.
I thought the baby was sending me bald. unsure.gif


this... plus when it starts growing back you get fuzzy flyaways everywhere! NOTHING calms my hair atm.

plus - first foods - banana causes constipation and pumpkin stains EVERYTHING.

#6 nicknick

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:47 AM

I wish someone had told me somedays it's an effort to get to the bathroom

#7 lozoodle

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

You know what never occurred to me? That I'd actually have to work to get my baby to sleep. I mean I knew they only slept in short bursts etc, but I had just assumed baby tired, baby lies down and go to sleep. It didn't actually occur to me that I would need to GET the baby to sleep in the first place.

#8 Belinda18

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:55 AM

QUOTE (Peppery @ 31/01/2013, 09:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wish someone would have told me that it was normal lose clumps of hair in the month after having a baby.
I thought the baby was sending me bald. unsure.gif


This! Except my baby is 5 months and I'm still blocking the shower drain. When does it stop?

#9 Lishyfips

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:55 AM

I didn't get much advice before my first, but two things stand out as being very helpful:
1. After 5-6 weeks babies have the odd sleep of five hours or more. After a few weeks of extreme sleep deprivation it was good to be given a time frame for when things would start to improve.
2. I'm so grateful to the friend who told me she had awful problems breastfeeding until around eight weeks, when it got easier and easier. I held onto that information through the early weeks when I had poor attachment, cracks, bleeding, agonising breast thrush and mastitis; it made me determined to get to eight weeks. She was right, too, by eight weeks things were improving and by 12 weeks it was much easier.
After my first I couldn't believe no one had warned me about the carnage 'down below' after giving birth, or the weird sack-like tummy that's left after the baby comes out. Or the rock-hard silicone breasts with milk fountains squirting in all directions. But in retrospect, I don't know if knowing about those things would have helped - it's a shock to see what happens to your body but being told it will gradually return to 'normal-ish' wouldn't have really taken away my freaked-out feelings.

#10 MrsShine

Posted 31 January 2013 - 08:56 AM

This is pretty funny - it's not me but a good friend recently said that she wish she had know that her baby would require more than 3 meals a day! Lol

She honestly believed that newborns drank milk at breakfast, lunch and dinner and had no idea about them feeding every 2-3 hours original.gif

#11 Feral Borgia

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:00 AM

QUOTE (lozoodle @ 31/01/2013, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You know what never occurred to me? That I'd actually have to work to get my baby to sleep. I mean I knew they only slept in short bursts etc, but I had just assumed baby tired, baby lies down and go to sleep. It didn't actually occur to me that I would need to GET the baby to sleep in the first place.

This. Absolutely this. It should be engraved on every bed in every maternity ward in the world....it absolutely baffles me how much sleep babies need, compared to how much they are prepared to give you ....mother nature screwed up big time here, massive design flaw. Big fat FAIL!

Oh, and you're allowed to write "breast" on EB, it doesn't need to be censored.....

#12 Funky Cold Ribena

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:01 AM

You know that saying when someone has a great might's sleep... 'ooh, I slept like a baby.'

Well it wasn't my baby. Little fecker was/ still is up all night.

So that saying is rubbish. Wish I'd known that.

#13 gabbigirl

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:05 AM

QUOTE (lozoodle @ 31/01/2013, 08:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You know what never occurred to me? That I'd actually have to work to get my baby to sleep. I mean I knew they only slept in short bursts etc, but I had just assumed baby tired, baby lies down and go to sleep. It didn't actually occur to me that I would need to GET the baby to sleep in the first place.


I agree.  I seriously thought they just went to sleep when they were tired.  My first did that actually, she'd fall asleep anywhere, in the pool. Car, pram, bassinet, couch, playmat,....then I had no. 2. Boy did i learn lots about sleep techniques, none of them worked for her.  Don't tell your friend that!

#14 CountryFeral

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:07 AM

QUOTE (Citylovely @ 31/01/2013, 09:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A dear friend of mine is due in March, and I wanted to make her something with 'I wish I knew/someone had told me....' little book.
Trying to make it a bit funny where possible.


Great idea!

A friend of mine did that for a mutual friend of ours.. not a book but three sheets of A4 with 'things I didn't know before I had a baby'

I think it was received with grace - certainly a bit of shock... I remember her saying later that her husband was saying "Pffft.... I don't think so!" to some of the things written there - but she (who knew the other mother far better) took all the advice to heart as she was fully aware that our friend was the most laid back woman on earth.  So there was no room for OTT hysteria in her suggestions!

I still remember her husband announcing that "We aren't moving any of our stuff around how stupid... the baby will just learn not to touch the fragile objects!"

They have two children now both over 5 - the 'stuff' is still away in cupboards!

#15 Fairey

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:07 AM

QUOTE (katiebear26 @ 31/01/2013, 09:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
this... plus when it starts growing back you get fuzzy flyaways everywhere! NOTHING calms my hair atm.

plus - first foods - banana causes constipation and pumpkin stains EVERYTHING.


I wish I had know THIS a fortnight ago.

I wish I had known just how hard breastfeeding would be.

I wish I had known that breastfeeding would leave me with bald patches. To the side of my forehead. It's totally sexy.

I wish I had known breastfeeding would be the best diet ever. I would have culled all food and become a totally smokin' skinny b!tch.

I wish I had known that the liquid version of nappy-san soaker stuff would cause the laminate on my laundry bench to bubble and peel. Fair to say the nappy-san no longer sits on the laundry bench.

I wish I had known that showers at 11PM would become down time. They are the most peaceful thing. Sometimes after about 30 minutes I remember to actually wash my hair or shave my legs.

I wish I had known that pyjamas would become clothes for the first few weeks. I might have bought new pyjamas. I might have rotated them. I would not have answered the door throughout the week for the courier guy wearing the same old pyjamas. Poor bloke must think I don't bathe at all.

I wish I had knew a secret formula to stop DD's beautiful baby hair from falling out. In the last month she's gone from having a full head of hair, to being bald at the front.

I wish I had known that when DD does a poo, and she is mid nappy change, said poo shoots out like a rocket being launched.

I wish I had known just how deeply I was going to fall in love. DD is the light of my life and makes my heart explode.

#16 Fluster

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:11 AM

When the midwife takes you into the shower to clean up after giving birth, don't look in the mirror.

#17 raven74

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:11 AM

With the book, give her a hand mirror with the instructions "Look at vagina within 24 hours of birth..." (if she has a vaginal delivery of course)
Two words: Cows Flaps.

I wish I had been told of the aftermath of birth and how difficult the recovery could be from a straightforward natural birth (2nd degree tears).  Heinous.  Utterly heinous.  I could have done with a walking stick for the first few days, or a zimmer frame - I was bent in half!

#18 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:13 AM

This popped up on FB not long ago...

QUOTE
1. You will have a really heavy period. No matter how you give birth (c-section or va-j-j) you will have postpartum bleeding. This delightful discharge is called lochia and it sounds about as appealing as it is. It lasts as little as two to three weeks or as long as six weeks after birth. The best part is you're given giant, thunderpads in the hospital because you can't use tampons during this time (it can introduce bacteria into your healing uterus) so you have the added pleasure of feeling like a 15-year old girl from 1974.
2. Your crotch might be a mess. You may be dealing with a swollen, stitched up mighty mess that even Stephen King couldn't dream up. There are a variety of elixirs and contraptions to help ease the horror including sits baths, frozen bags of peas and a little water bottle that you squirt on yourself while you pee. In my experience I've found that it's best not to look – it was actually worse than I thought it would be. Dear God so bad.
3. You're still fat. You will need clothes after you've had this kid because you'll be sort of second trimester doughy for a while. This is yet another reason I hate those damn model asshats that are wafer thin 10 minutes after they've given birth because it isn't realistic. Everything is very different when you've had your tummy tuck during your elective c-section and you can hand your baby off to a nanny and have a personal trainer up in your face everyday. Pilates and brown rice my ass. Stupid starlets. Except Heidi Klum. I love Heidi Klum and that b**ch earned her wings.

4. You might cry. A. LOT. Some women get off really easy with this one and don't ride the hormonal roller coaster after they've had a baby and to them I say "lucky, lucky whore". It doesn't help that it can run the gamut from absolutely nothing to full blown post partum depression so not everyone is sympathetic if you have the Niagara Falls boo hoos if they didn't. The other tricky thing is that you might not recognize how bad it was until you're out of it. It's best to have people that actually know you keep an eye on this one. If they tell you that you're losing it, you probably are so listen to them and go see your doctor. Nobody wins if you're miserable.
5. Your hair might fall out. I know. Don't you feel pretty now? So here you are all post partum and doughy and to add insult to injury you might start losing some of your hair. Here you were all excited about your luscious locks while you were pregnant, well, sorry Cinderella but the party is over and the hair fairy wants her glass slippers back. This is one of those wonderful hormone side effects that can come with giving birth. At least there will be less to worry about when pulling your hair up into your new-mom crack-ponytail.
6. Breastfeeding might be difficult. If you choose to breastfeed your baby, be prepared for a little bit of work. Not everybody has a smooth ride (me included) and it can be anything the soft, bonding vignettes they plaster all over "Breast is Best" pamphlets. The good news is once you're over the hump it's pretty maintenance free and you can never forget your baby's lunch on the counter. If you have an easy time of it, awesome! Don't brag though, you're liable to be beaten to death with Bugaboo strollers by hormonal mothers in the park.

7. You might hate your husband. I have two theories of nature. One, babies look like their fathers when they are born so the father is reassured that the baby is his and won't take off. Two, nature takes care of you not conceiving right after giving birth by making you want to punch in his face every time you see him. Again, it's probably hormone related. Again, this isn't always the case but I'm just warning you that you might stare at his peaceful sleeping face at 2am and wonder what the hell the point of him is and how can that son of a b**ch just lie there sleeping like while you try to get your baby to sleep for the umpteenth time. You're not alone and a jury full of mothers with newborns wouldn't convict you if you bludgeoned him to death with a breast pump. That said, he may be worth keeping around so take a deep breath and ignore the urge......for now.
8. You might be hot. No, not good hot. Gross, sweaty, fat man hot. Thank your hormones. Once again they may be to blame for giving you hot flashes and making feel like a high-noon whore. Nothing says sexy like a woman with 20lbs of extra baby weight, who's losing her hair and walking around like she just ran for a bus. I'm adding that to my theory of nature's birth control along with number 7.

9. Hard boobs. You know those crazy porn boobs you see on some women that are just gigantic and don't move? No? Well, try skipping a feeding while you're nursing and you'll have a pretty good idea what that's like. It sounds cool but it isn't so don't add stripper heels to your registry....well, not for this reason anyway.
10. Pooing is scary. I saved the best for last, non? No matter what exit your baby used, your BM equipment is close by and you'll have to use it eventually. I think the phrase "tentative terror" best sums up this act and may I suggest picking out extra names because you're going to want to name your first poop after you take such tender care bringing into the world. Gross? Sorry. Fact? Yep.


#19 leisamd

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

bwok-bwok, that is brilliant!  (and scarily accurate!)

#20 ElysianLyric

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:22 AM

QUOTE (lozoodle @ 31/01/2013, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You know what never occurred to me? That I'd actually have to work to get my baby to sleep. I mean I knew they only slept in short bursts etc, but I had just assumed baby tired, baby lies down and go to sleep. It didn't actually occur to me that I would need to GET the baby to sleep in the first place.



QUOTE (Lucretia Borgia @ 31/01/2013, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This. Absolutely this. It should be engraved on every bed in every maternity ward in the world....it absolutely baffles me how much sleep babies need, compared to how much they are prepared to give you ....mother nature screwed up big time here, massive design flaw. Big fat FAIL!


Yes! Absolutely agree with both of these. It is apparently completely normal to find yourself spending hours wandering around patting/rocking/hushing/singing to/pleading with a newborn to get them to go to sleep. Only to have them sleep for 20 blessed minutes before they wake up and the cycle starts all over again.

The other fun fact I discovered was the delightful experience of cluster feeding - hours each evening spent camped out on the couch with a can't-possibly-be-hungry-but-inexplicably-still-feeding baby. Like everything, it does change as they get older - the whole 'This too shall pass' mentality can be helpful to hold on to. And wishing it was socially acceptable to drink gin at 9am, which is when your baby appears to be having their only decent length sleep of the day ...

#21 saxa

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:22 AM

I only ever give two bits of advise.

Never say never - as in your never going to give or do something to or with baby, you just do what ever works!

The first 6-12 weeks are like hell, but as soon as you get that first smile you forget how sh*t they were and it all gets a bit easier!

#22 Feral Alpacas

Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:46 AM

You will need to learn to eat using one hand only. And accept that your SO will have to cut your food up for you.

Take a shower as doonas the opportunity presents itself, otherwise you will find it's 5pm and you still haven't showered original.gif

#23 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

OP, have sent you a PM.  original.gif

#24 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:05 AM

About 2 to 4 days after bub is born your boobs will turn into big hard sore rocks. Feed feed feed. When the milk first comes in bub will prob spit out a lot of milk while feeding because he has to adjust from the slower flow of the colostrum milk to the proper milk.

A week or so after birth bub may start to stink, this is just their belly button rotting off. Just try to keep it dry. It's only a problem if it starts oozing excessively and it really read. A bit of redness and ooze is ok.

Bub may get a blocked tear duct a month or so after birth, it's not conguctivitis. Just wipe it with a moist tissue and massage the skin in the inside corner if their eye.

Wear breast pads.

If bub stretches thei legs out really stiff while you are changing their nappy, hold their feet and give their legs a little giggle and the will unstiffen them and you will be able to change the nappy.

Get lots of face washes and keep them in various places around the house, change table, feeding chair, pram, lounge, rocker. You will always need them to wipe up little spews and dribbles of milk.

Milk doesn't just come out in one little stream, there are at least 5 streams of it at once, if bub pulls of while feeding streams of milk may squirt bub, you or your husband/partner in the face.

When I had to get up during the night, I would gargle with listening before going back to bed, it may just be me but I like my mouth to feed fresh before going to bed and it is quicker than cleaning your teeth every time.

If you have an epidural you will get a catheter, when they took mine out they said that if I hadn't done a wee by a certain time then they would but it back it. Drink a lot of water so that you have plenty of wee. One of the midwives told me that some women find it easier to do it in the shower to take the sting away.

While you are in hospital you will keep being asked if you have weed and pooed. It feels a bit like a kid being toilet trained. They also ask how your blood loss is going.

Don't feel pressured not to have an epidural by people that advocate natural, pain relief free birth. Labour hurts and and epidural makes the pain go away. If you want one, ask for one.

You really can feel your uterus shrinking while you are feeding your baby.

Don't be too freaked out of your baby has a nappy that looks as though their wee has blood in it, this can happen when they make the transission from colostrum to proper milk, if it happens too often it means bub is a bit dehydrated. Call the nurse anyway just to be sure though. Little girls can get a little bit of blood which is normal too.

Baby's make a lot of cute noises while they sleep.

Babies fart a lot. When they do a fart that sounds like the last of a sauce bottle or shampoo bottle being squeezed out, the baby is pooing.

You may find that when you change their nappy, they will do another poo straight away. I one had to change bub 3 times before I could get him out of his room.

Bub will often fall asleep while feeding, tickle him benind his neck to keep him going. During night feeds I would change his nappy after one side (change them if they have a poo when you first pick them up though) this wakes them so they are more alert for the next side. It also save having to change your zonked out baby after his feed so that he is still sleeping when you put him to sleep again.

Nothing will prepare you for how amazing it feels when you see your bub for the first time.

Socks make better mittens than mittens, mittens are usually too big. pumpkin Patch have some good ones though.

#25 Brownie22

Posted 31 January 2013 - 10:15 AM

This made me laugh and is so true

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/pregnancy/...1018-27te8.html





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