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Baby shower "wish list"?
Is it rude to attach a list of things I need to the invitation?


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48 replies to this topic

#1 Suzanne84

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm having a baby shower in March, my mum and MIL are organising it but I'm sending out the invitations. Do you think it's rude to include a gift "wish list" with the invitations? The thing is I have so many things already however there are still a lot of small things that I need. Should I call it a "wish list" or is there a nicer way to phrase it? Or should I just not include it at all?

#2 Expelliarmus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:35 PM

Yes it's rude. I would not include it.

#3 MrsLexiK

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:37 PM

On EB baby showers are rude original.gif I would give a copy to your mum and MIL, I have always sussed out the hosts for ideas original.gif

#4 roses99

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:38 PM

Don't include a list, by whatever name you want to call it.

People will buy you little bits and pieces and - if they need help - they will ask you.


#5 stephmd85

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:38 PM

I have wondered this too, having a list of quite specific things we are yet to buy. I'm the kind of person who would rather know what someone needs and would use, than just try to guess or buy something pretty. Having said that I think it is a little presumptuous to include a list with the invite so instead, I'm giving it to my sister and MIL so that if anyone asks, ideas will be on hand!

#6 Rosiebird

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:43 PM

QUOTE (MrsLexiK @ 30/01/2013, 09:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
On EB baby showers are rude original.gif I would give a copy to your mum and MIL, I have always sussed out the hosts for ideas original.gif

Great idea!

#7 Dionysus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

yeah, it is rude.

give your list to your mum and have her name/number as the RSVP.

That way, ppl that want suggestions can ask her



#8 namie

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:55 PM

Don't include the list.

I would check with the host (ie, your mum) to see if she knew if there was anything you wanted/needed, otherwise I would get you and the baby something cute and lovely of my own choosing.

I love shopping for babies!

#9 Mis-Placed

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:56 PM

i dont think a "list" is a good thing to do.... i know i would find it odd/rude/presumptious...?

However! You can def get your Mother and MIL to suggest gifts to your guests, that will work much better....

#10 starfire

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:56 PM

I sent one out with my baby shower invites - I was requested by family members as they wanted to know what I needed for the baby. But I put a disclaimer on the list and said that it was just a suggestion and no one was obliged to buy a gift.

I also added that I do not want stuffed toys or towels/handtowels as I do not have the room and also my mum has given me HEAPS of towels/handtowels (she crochets) so I was already set in that department lol. And when I asked my SIL to double check the list and make sure nothing sounded rude, she said that it was actually well worded.

I am happy to copy and paste here if you want examples of how to word it?

But I think in your case if no one has asked you out right, I would just do a list up and give to your mum and MIL as other PP's have suggested. Then if people do ask, they can go to your mum or MIL and get the info they need.

And ppfft, I don't think it's that rude, as long as you are not asking for specific brands and expensive priced things like a pram or something! People love spoiling babies, well it is the way in our families- people go clucky big time!

#11 Dr Dolly

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:58 PM

Yep. Rude. Presumptuous.

Aren't you glad you checked?

#12 MrsShine

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:02 PM

Rude. The 1 or 2 times I have got a gift/wish list for a baby shower I was shocked and didn't buy off it. Agreed, I usually asks the host or the mother to be what they need and buy within my budget.

I couldn't believe when a friend sent her very extensive list with her shower invite that she planned herself - it literally included baby wipes and nappies in each size and brand she favoured, formula, a stroller, breast pumps etc, etc, and asked you to let her know when you'd bought that item so she didn't get it twice!

I remember thinking, how disorganised are you, have you bought anything for your baby????

#13 surburbanfunk

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:13 PM

In my invite I put a little note saying that a lot of people had asked what we still needed for the baby and that if they wanted some ideas to call my friend who was organizing it and she had a list of inexpensive things the baby still needed.
I don't want to know what you got me before I open the present so I gave a list to my friend.

#14 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:10 PM

I like the idea of giving the list to the hosts, that way people can ask.

#15 (feral)epg

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:18 PM

I love it when people give me gift suggestions - but that's because I'm really bad at buying gifts.
I like the idea of giving the hosts some ideas / suggestions to pass on.

#16 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:22 PM

You could always have a wishing well baby shower.

#17 PattiODoors

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:30 PM

QUOTE (MrsLexiK @ 30/01/2013, 10:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
On EB baby showers are rude original.gif I would give a copy to your mum and MIL, I have always sussed out the hosts for ideas original.gif


That's a great idea.

However, whatever you do, don't get huffy and stand in a corner sulking with your mum. Call your 'friends' ****ing cheapskates and why the **** did you bother inviting them if they only buy cheap crap and nothing off the list. A list that included $200 merino blankets and a Bugaboo pram.

I'm sure you won't OP, it's just that I like giving that story an airing from time to time. It was two years ago and it's still talked about amongst my friends. Get's it off our chests.

#18 ~Jodama_Forever~

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

QUOTE (starboard @ 31/01/2013, 12:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
However, whatever you do, don't get huffy and stand in a corner sulking with your mum. Call your 'friends' ****ing cheapskates and why the **** did you bother inviting them if they only buy cheap crap and nothing off the list. A list that included $200 merino blankets and a Bugaboo pram.

I'm sure you won't OP, it's just that I like giving that story an airing from time to time. It was two years ago and it's still talked about amongst my friends. Get's it off our chests.


Thats disgusting, Surely this person is now an ex friend. I would have picked my present up and told her to stick her friendship up her behind (much less polite than this is worded too) and walked out.

I would give the note to the RSVP person and then if people are stuck they can ask. I personally would be put off by a note if suggestions.

#19 Suzanne84

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:00 AM

Hmm ok maybe I'll just give it to my mum and MIL. And btw, the list only included small cheapish things (eg suggestions for books and toys). Anything big DH and I have already bought ourselves and I would never expect anyone to spend a lot of money on a gift.  smile1.gif

#20 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:09 AM

QUOTE (starboard @ 30/01/2013, 09:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's a great idea.

However, whatever you do, don't get huffy and stand in a corner sulking with your mum. Call your 'friends' ****ing cheapskates and why the **** did you bother inviting them if they only buy cheap crap and nothing off the list. A list that included $200 merino blankets and a Bugaboo pram.

Oh wow, you must know M, our family friends daughter, who would do exactly this!

#21 PattiODoors

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:24 AM

QUOTE (kriattica @ 31/01/2013, 12:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thats disgusting, Surely this person is now an ex friend. I would have picked my present up and told her to stick her friendship up her behind (much less polite than this is worded too) and walked out.

I would give the note to the RSVP person and then if people are stuck they can ask. I personally would be put off by a note if suggestions.


She most certainly is an ex friend. That incident was the last on a long list of being treated like poo and many of us kicked her to the kerb.
We all left the party after her outburst and we left our 'cheap crap' behind. The person we felt sorry for was her DH who was mortified and apologized profusely. It was awful.

#22 PattiODoors

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:30 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 31/01/2013, 01:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh wow, you must know M, our family friends daughter, who would do exactly this!


Haha, there must be two of them then. No, ours is a D.

I did hear on the grapevine that she was complaining bitterly that none of us had sent her a card or a gift after the birth of the baby...

#23 MGB

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:16 AM

Yes I think it's rude. If people need suggestions they will ask you or your mum. Most people like to choose their own gifts to give for the baby.




#24 Pearson

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:34 AM

I gave the list to the host, with a little note saying if u wish to buy a gift, and don't know what to buy, pls call her.

Nothing on that list was over $50.

I think there were 3 things over $20.

I got all my expensive stuff myself.

#25 samshine

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:43 AM

Yes, I think it's a bit rude.  I think it presumes that the baby shower is all about the gift haul, and that you have to get things that benefit you, rather than are a token of your guests good wishes for you.  

Giving your mother/host the list is a good idea though, as there will be people who are looking for ideas and can ask.  

I went to a baby shower that had a gift registry at a very expensive baby store, and there was nothing cheap on the list either.  Now that's rude!




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