Jump to content

Baby shower "wish list"?
Is it rude to attach a list of things I need to the invitation?


  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#1 Suzanne84

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

Hi everyone,

I'm having a baby shower in March, my mum and MIL are organising it but I'm sending out the invitations. Do you think it's rude to include a gift "wish list" with the invitations? The thing is I have so many things already however there are still a lot of small things that I need. Should I call it a "wish list" or is there a nicer way to phrase it? Or should I just not include it at all?

#2 Expelliarmus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:35 PM

Yes it's rude. I would not include it.

#3 MrsLexiK

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:37 PM

On EB baby showers are rude original.gif I would give a copy to your mum and MIL, I have always sussed out the hosts for ideas original.gif

#4 roses99

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:38 PM

Don't include a list, by whatever name you want to call it.

People will buy you little bits and pieces and - if they need help - they will ask you.


#5 stephmd85

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:38 PM

I have wondered this too, having a list of quite specific things we are yet to buy. I'm the kind of person who would rather know what someone needs and would use, than just try to guess or buy something pretty. Having said that I think it is a little presumptuous to include a list with the invite so instead, I'm giving it to my sister and MIL so that if anyone asks, ideas will be on hand!

#6 Rosiebird

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:43 PM

QUOTE (MrsLexiK @ 30/01/2013, 09:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
On EB baby showers are rude original.gif I would give a copy to your mum and MIL, I have always sussed out the hosts for ideas original.gif

Great idea!

#7 Dionysus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

yeah, it is rude.

give your list to your mum and have her name/number as the RSVP.

That way, ppl that want suggestions can ask her



#8 namie

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:55 PM

Don't include the list.

I would check with the host (ie, your mum) to see if she knew if there was anything you wanted/needed, otherwise I would get you and the baby something cute and lovely of my own choosing.

I love shopping for babies!

#9 Mis-Placed

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:56 PM

i dont think a "list" is a good thing to do.... i know i would find it odd/rude/presumptious...?

However! You can def get your Mother and MIL to suggest gifts to your guests, that will work much better....

#10 starfire

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:56 PM

I sent one out with my baby shower invites - I was requested by family members as they wanted to know what I needed for the baby. But I put a disclaimer on the list and said that it was just a suggestion and no one was obliged to buy a gift.

I also added that I do not want stuffed toys or towels/handtowels as I do not have the room and also my mum has given me HEAPS of towels/handtowels (she crochets) so I was already set in that department lol. And when I asked my SIL to double check the list and make sure nothing sounded rude, she said that it was actually well worded.

I am happy to copy and paste here if you want examples of how to word it?

But I think in your case if no one has asked you out right, I would just do a list up and give to your mum and MIL as other PP's have suggested. Then if people do ask, they can go to your mum or MIL and get the info they need.

And ppfft, I don't think it's that rude, as long as you are not asking for specific brands and expensive priced things like a pram or something! People love spoiling babies, well it is the way in our families- people go clucky big time!

#11 Dr Dolly

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:58 PM

Yep. Rude. Presumptuous.

Aren't you glad you checked?

#12 MrsShine

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:02 PM

Rude. The 1 or 2 times I have got a gift/wish list for a baby shower I was shocked and didn't buy off it. Agreed, I usually asks the host or the mother to be what they need and buy within my budget.

I couldn't believe when a friend sent her very extensive list with her shower invite that she planned herself - it literally included baby wipes and nappies in each size and brand she favoured, formula, a stroller, breast pumps etc, etc, and asked you to let her know when you'd bought that item so she didn't get it twice!

I remember thinking, how disorganised are you, have you bought anything for your baby????

#13 surburbanfunk

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:13 PM

In my invite I put a little note saying that a lot of people had asked what we still needed for the baby and that if they wanted some ideas to call my friend who was organizing it and she had a list of inexpensive things the baby still needed.
I don't want to know what you got me before I open the present so I gave a list to my friend.

#14 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:10 PM

I like the idea of giving the list to the hosts, that way people can ask.

#15 (feral)epg

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:18 PM

I love it when people give me gift suggestions - but that's because I'm really bad at buying gifts.
I like the idea of giving the hosts some ideas / suggestions to pass on.

#16 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:22 PM

You could always have a wishing well baby shower.

#17 PattiODoors

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:30 PM

QUOTE (MrsLexiK @ 30/01/2013, 10:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
On EB baby showers are rude original.gif I would give a copy to your mum and MIL, I have always sussed out the hosts for ideas original.gif


That's a great idea.

However, whatever you do, don't get huffy and stand in a corner sulking with your mum. Call your 'friends' ****ing cheapskates and why the **** did you bother inviting them if they only buy cheap crap and nothing off the list. A list that included $200 merino blankets and a Bugaboo pram.

I'm sure you won't OP, it's just that I like giving that story an airing from time to time. It was two years ago and it's still talked about amongst my friends. Get's it off our chests.

#18 ~Jodama_Forever~

Posted 30 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

QUOTE (starboard @ 31/01/2013, 12:30 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
However, whatever you do, don't get huffy and stand in a corner sulking with your mum. Call your 'friends' ****ing cheapskates and why the **** did you bother inviting them if they only buy cheap crap and nothing off the list. A list that included $200 merino blankets and a Bugaboo pram.

I'm sure you won't OP, it's just that I like giving that story an airing from time to time. It was two years ago and it's still talked about amongst my friends. Get's it off our chests.


Thats disgusting, Surely this person is now an ex friend. I would have picked my present up and told her to stick her friendship up her behind (much less polite than this is worded too) and walked out.

I would give the note to the RSVP person and then if people are stuck they can ask. I personally would be put off by a note if suggestions.

#19 Suzanne84

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:00 AM

Hmm ok maybe I'll just give it to my mum and MIL. And btw, the list only included small cheapish things (eg suggestions for books and toys). Anything big DH and I have already bought ourselves and I would never expect anyone to spend a lot of money on a gift.  smile1.gif

#20 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:09 AM

QUOTE (starboard @ 30/01/2013, 09:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's a great idea.

However, whatever you do, don't get huffy and stand in a corner sulking with your mum. Call your 'friends' ****ing cheapskates and why the **** did you bother inviting them if they only buy cheap crap and nothing off the list. A list that included $200 merino blankets and a Bugaboo pram.

Oh wow, you must know M, our family friends daughter, who would do exactly this!

#21 PattiODoors

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:24 AM

QUOTE (kriattica @ 31/01/2013, 12:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thats disgusting, Surely this person is now an ex friend. I would have picked my present up and told her to stick her friendship up her behind (much less polite than this is worded too) and walked out.

I would give the note to the RSVP person and then if people are stuck they can ask. I personally would be put off by a note if suggestions.


She most certainly is an ex friend. That incident was the last on a long list of being treated like poo and many of us kicked her to the kerb.
We all left the party after her outburst and we left our 'cheap crap' behind. The person we felt sorry for was her DH who was mortified and apologized profusely. It was awful.

#22 PattiODoors

Posted 31 January 2013 - 12:30 AM

QUOTE (trishalishous @ 31/01/2013, 01:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh wow, you must know M, our family friends daughter, who would do exactly this!


Haha, there must be two of them then. No, ours is a D.

I did hear on the grapevine that she was complaining bitterly that none of us had sent her a card or a gift after the birth of the baby...

#23 MGB

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:16 AM

Yes I think it's rude. If people need suggestions they will ask you or your mum. Most people like to choose their own gifts to give for the baby.




#24 Pearson

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:34 AM

I gave the list to the host, with a little note saying if u wish to buy a gift, and don't know what to buy, pls call her.

Nothing on that list was over $50.

I think there were 3 things over $20.

I got all my expensive stuff myself.

#25 samshine

Posted 31 January 2013 - 06:43 AM

Yes, I think it's a bit rude.  I think it presumes that the baby shower is all about the gift haul, and that you have to get things that benefit you, rather than are a token of your guests good wishes for you.  

Giving your mother/host the list is a good idea though, as there will be people who are looking for ideas and can ask.  

I went to a baby shower that had a gift registry at a very expensive baby store, and there was nothing cheap on the list either.  Now that's rude!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Celeste Barber: the hilarious Aussie mum you must follow

If you have ever looked at a photo of a celebrity mum and felt a pang of despair then Celeste Barber is your new best friend.

18 tips for surviving the first few weeks with a newborn

Here are 18 tips I think would have helped me when I went into this whole parenting thing blind.

Share your baby's first taste photos to win

Heinz and Essential Baby are giving away $1000 and baby food hampers - enter today!

Thumb-suckers could have less allergies, study shows

Thumb-sucking and nail-biting might alter the immune system function.

The shocking statistic that shows pregnant women need more support

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), pregnancy is the roller coaster from hell.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

Dad-to-be plans big surprise for gender reveal party

But for one mum-to-be, the big announcement was mixed with another emotional moment, all planned by her partner.

I was a victim of narcissistic abuse - now I'm speaking out

I met a guy who immediately swept me off my feet. Fast forward five years and I'm sitting alone in a house, crying and pregnant.

Alanis Morissette welcomes baby girl

Alanis Morissette is sharing pictures of her baby girl on social media.

Enduring postnatal anxiety

My hopeless, paralysing love for my children wasn't useful; it wasn't practical. I wasn't in charge.

New mum shares photo of herself in a "giant diaper"

After giving birth, most mothers post a photo to social media.

The art of oral storytelling - and how you can start it with your kids

In this form of communication, the heart listens as well as the ears.

Healing after miscarriage: 6 ways to soften the grief

If you have suffered a pregnancy loss, here are six ways to help soften the grief.

Your handy guide to a mum's tired signs

From the minute that tiny babe is out of you, you'll start hearing about "tired signs".

Prince George checks out helicopters at air show

The Duke of Cambridge has shown his son the inner workings of a helicopter at the Royal International Air Tattoo at RAF Fairford.

Dad catches a Pokemon as his wife waits to give birth

An Aussie dad found himself capturing a Pokemon in a very unusual place: his wife's hospital bed as she waited to give birth.

Mum's warning on dangers of liquid detergent capsules after toddler's accident

A mum has taken to social media to warn others about the dangers of laundry liquid capsules after her daughter was left with serious burns in her eyes.

Mum left reeling over 'breastfeeding' toddler post

For so many little kids, breastfeeding is just something that mummies do.

Does cannabis affect a man's sperm?

If you're pregnant or planning to be, tobacco and alcohol are high on the list of things not to use.  But do we need an equally loud message about avoiding cannabis too?

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Why drinking water can be deadly for babies

H2O is one of the necessities of life, but for babies a seemingly harmless amount of water can be fatal.

5 ways having a baby is different when you have older children

So much parenting advice is geared towards having your first baby, but what's it like having a baby when you already have children?

You can now make your own plush Falkor

Fans of The NeverEnding Story – of which there are certainly plenty – went crazy for these plush Falkors when they first went on sale last year.

Baby steps

10 things that will actually happen after having a baby

I thought I had prepared myself for motherhood. Then my baby girl arrived and knocked everything flat.

Having a baby: expectations vs reality

People love to warn you about what to expect when having a baby, but they can be way off when it comes to the reality.

Are we having fun yet? Thinking positively as a parent

Motherhood is wonderful ... except when it sucks.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

When breastfeeding doesn't go with the flow

Breast is best, except when it's not. And in our case, it most definitely wasn't.

'If you don't vaccinate your kids you're a bloody idiot'

The photos are heartbreaking and almost too difficult to look at, but Kayley Burke is begging other parents to take notice.

Why pregnant women should eat chocolate

In news that will make expectant mums jump for joy - and reach for a block of Cadbury - scientists have revealed chocolate could provide health benefits during pregnancy.

The baby born with an incredible head of hair

If you're in any way challenged in the follicle department, prepare to feel a jolt of envy - at a two-month-old baby.

The push for Medicare to fund lactation consultants

While meeting with a lactation consultant can make an enormous difference to a new mother, it's not a service that is available through the public health system.

Parents, this is how to cut grapes to avoid choking

One mum has learnt a harrowing lesson about the best way to cut grapes to make it safe for toddlers and little kids to eat.

Three truths about C-section mums

Lately I've been thinking about the caesarean stories and the brave women who birth their children with strength and beauty.

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

 

ENTER NOW

Win $1000 with Heinz!

We want to see photos of your baby eating - and by sharing, you'll be in the draw to win $1000 and baby food hampers. Enter today!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.