Jump to content

Aggressive neighbour, help please


  • Please log in to reply
32 replies to this topic

#1 Montro

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:18 PM

I'm at my wits end with my neighbour.  I won't go into too much detail in case I identify her (she may be a member, who knows.)

There's a lot of animosity between she and me.  Basically, she's someone who is used to getting her own way (her dad is the mayor) and she wanted me to make some changes to my property to suit her (removing a tree which is nowhere near her property and some other things.  I refused and since then she's become pretty awful.

Her chosen method of intimidation is to drive within 3 feet of me, almost running me down with her car.  Earlier today I parked in my driveway and she drove into hers, didn't slow down at all, and, in all hosesty, if I reached out I would have touched her car.  If I park on the street and I'm standing near my car, having just got out and she's driving down the road, she'll veer over to me, and I have to get out of the way.  She's also done this to my children.

Obviously this only happens when I'm getting in or out of my car and she's driving into or out of her driveway, so it's not an everyday occurance.  However, when we are doing just that with out cars, without fail, every time, she will drive super close to me.  Most of the time I don't even know she's there until her car whooshes past me.  She then gets out of her car, which is by now in the garage, stares/glares at me and puts the garage door down.  I could yell at her, but I really don't want her to know that her behaviour scares me.  Not sure why, I just don't.

The police tell me I can't do anything unless she actually hits me or my children.  I would like to get a solicitor to send her a warning type letter, but don't have spare $$$ for that.  She's so arrogant, she'd probably just laugh it off.

This has gone past the point of merely being annoying; her behaviour is dangerous.

Not sure what I can/should do.

Suggestions?

I would also ask that my post not be copied, as I really don't know if she is a member or not.

Thanks

#2 JECJEC

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

Very passive aggressive but you could fall down like she hit you and see what she does - may give her a fright.

#3 rainycat

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:32 PM

Or maybe film her on your phone.

#4 Pearson

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

as above with a couple of screws in your hand that "fall" under the wheels of her car.... woops


#5 lucky 2

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

Call your local Mayor?

#6 Fluster

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

I had the same experience a while back.  I intervened when a teenager on our street was assaulting his girlfriend.  DH and I took her back to our house until a friend came and picked her up.

This thug then proceeded to try and run me down when I was jogging.  Pretty embarrassingly (for her) his girlfriend decided to stay with him and she'd actually be in the car when he was trying this.  He ran a red light one night as we got a green light at a local intersection - he would have t-boned us if we'd kept going.  He slows down when he passes our house and stares at us.  

We chose to ignore it.  He's calmed down a lot over the last year and now we're only subjected to glaring. He's all but given up.  

DH is rather disappointed as he was looking forward to a proper confrontation, but thankfully, this thug just proved that most bullies will only attack a) if they get a reaction and b) if they feel secure.  



#7 Stellajoy

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

QUOTE
Call your local Mayor?


This, or write to the newspaper and name names, local councils love that.

#8 KBM

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.

#9 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:36 PM

Film her doing it. Or get someone else to film it.

Tell her if she does it one more time you will pursue an avo.

She sounds seriously deranged.

#10 snortle

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:40 PM

QUOTE (KarenBubMachine @ 30/01/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.


Do this and then fall down. Scare her that she hit you and tell her in your most dramatic voice that if she even so much as sneezes in your direction you will go to the police, media and daddy about her intentionally running you over and trying to kill you.

#11 ChunkyChook

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:47 PM

I would keep my keys in my hand when getting out of the car and have a quick stretch and key her car as she drove past.

But I'm a b**ch.



#12 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:48 PM

I thought that too.  ph34r.gif

#13 Juki

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:07 PM

Film her and then apply for an AVO. Also start keeping a diary of her disgusting behaviour.

#14 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Go back to the police, and ask to speak to someone senior if you don't get anywhere.   There are offences other than actually hitting you.  See links for NSW - other states will have equivalents.  

Predatory driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...90082/s51a.html

Menacing driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...999412/s43.html

#15 Frockme

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

Install hidden cameras in your garden that show your drive and the street in front, ie places she's intimidating you.

#16 twinboys

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Put some big boulders/rocks at the start of your driveway on the nature strip and hope she does some serious damage to her car if she hits them.
This would hopefully keep her away from you when you are in the driveway.

#17 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Sounds like she lives for drama. Take the high road and ignore her - if she's used to being the centre of the world - it will infuriate her more. Keep your kids close until it blows over though.

#18 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:59 PM

And/Or send her a registered post letter telling her her behaviour is on record with the police and on your phone/camera (include some kind of report if you can make one with the authorities) so if she actually makes contact with any member of your family it will be considered malicious and she will subject to the appropriate charges.

#19 babybeli

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

Contact the community justice centre and organise some mediation to sort through your issues

#20 SylviaPlath

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:05 PM

If you just want her to stop, then filming her very obviously should work. Unless she is REALLY crazy.    

I think you either need to confront her (have it filmed) or write her a letter stating that conscious or not, she is driving too close and therefore it is a safety risk to you and your children and to be aware of this. It needs to be diplomatic, civil. That way, she has been notified and it will make you look good to the authorities/court in the event it escalates. If you do not let her know, she can argue she wasn't aware etc etc.


Also keep a diary and write down details/times etc.

That's all I can think of. Let us know how it all goes. Good luck.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

Get her on your phone and take it to the police.

#22 DreamFeralisations

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

I probably would call her on it - I would say "What are you doing?  I cannot believe you are behaving like a tantruming toddler over something that we had a legal right to turn down, and you are behaving like this.  Go to your room for 30 minutes and think about it, and I don't want to see you out here again until you apologise.  Otherwise I will call your father and get him to come over and talk to you about it."

Either that or do the key scratch.

#23 starfire

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

Ignore ignore. People who love to intimidate will get a kick out of it if you react.

Either go to the police and demand that someone listens and make a report so that it is on record if it escalates. Or get someone to film her doing this and take it to the police for evidence.

But in the meantime, ignore. It is a very hard situation to be in though sad.gif

#24 loubee

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:15 PM

Can you talk to her. Perhaps head over with someone neutral to let her know that this behaviour is out of line and how can you work through it. It might not walk but as you are living next door to each other I would want to try everything to restore harmony or at least a little civility.  After you have approached her, by letter if you really can't face her, then talk to the police again.

I like the fall down suggestion if all else fails  biggrin.gif .

#25 nano-tyrannus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

Bait her, over the next week make a hidden camera video of say 10 occurrences where she almost hits you, and then dob her in to the hoon line and get her car confiscated or have her licence revoked for careless driving.

I would also put a restraining order on her in parallel, because such a video made over a short period of time will show to a reasonable person (like a judge) that she intends to either hurt or intimidate, and that can hopefully force her to move.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Share the little things that make you smile

We're giving away a Mountain Buggy nano, the ultimate travel stroller - and here are some of the great entries so far.

Toddler pleads for return of "stolen" nose

A two-year-old's reaction to a game of "got your nose" shows it doesn't take much to make a toddler cry.

The 15 photos new parents share (and five they don't)

From the first scan photo to the baby covered in cake at their first birthday party, there are 15 photos most parents seem to share - and some they don't.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

Breastfeeding friendly café goes viral

A photo of a breastfeeding-friendly sign in a cafe has been posted to Facebook and shared by hundreds of mums around the world.

First look at the Bugaboo Bee3

The newest Bugaboo Bee ? the Bee3 ? offers a variety of improved features, including a much asked-for bassinet and a rainbow of colour combinations.

Childcare costs, not paid leave, the real issue for parents

Given the choice between maintaining their wage for six months to have a child, or having a reduced rate of pay for a time but a better deal on childcare when returning to work, there are no odds on what most working parents would choose.

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

We lost three babies in two years

Our first pregnancy ended the way we all expected it to - with a healthy, happy baby in our arms. What a true blessing he was, for we were not to know the heartache we were about endure.

Family turned back from doomed flight MH17

'There must have been someone watching over us and saying, 'You must not get on that flight,' says mother who narrowly avoided boarding the Malaysian Airlines flight which exploded in mid-air over the Ukraine last night.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Adorable Skeanie loafers for kids

Your little toddler or preschooler can now get their nautical on with a new range of classic loafers by Australian show brand Skeanie.

My baby is hypermobile

For months, I have been telling myself not to worry that Jasmin isn't crawling or walking. This week I heard the term hypermobile for the first time.

When you don?t bond with your baby

They say that there is no bond greater than the bond between a mother and her child. But for some women, the mother-baby bond takes more time and effort to develop.

Yumi Stynes: Having a baby after a 10-year break

After a long break, Yumi Stynes gets a reminder of the pain - and the pleasure - of giving birth.

Grieving father asks for help to Photoshop his daughter's image

When Nathan Steffel's daughter Sophia died from a liver condition at just 6 weeks old, he reached out for someone to create a beautiful image of his little girl.

Raising kids in a 'low media' home

Can you imagine a life without TV or computers? Some parents are opting for a low-tech, screen-free life for their kids.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win a Mountain Buggy nano

We?re giving away the new Mountain Buggy Nano - the lightweight travel buggy! So show us the little things that make you smile for your chance to win.

Be careful what you say, your baby is listening

The importance of speaking to your baby even if they are not old enough to answer back has been highlighted by new research.

The beautiful moment a baby was born at the side of a road

It's not where she expected to give birth, but mum Corrine Cinatl is delighted that her daughter's roadside arrival was captured in a series of beautiful photos.

Doctor sings first Happy Birthday to newborns

His job is to deliver babies, but this US obstetrician also has a unique way of celebrating the miracle of life.

The Nappy Collective starts new drive

It's that time of year when the dedicated volunteers at The Nappy Collective do their bit to help out mums and children in need - and they need your help.

Baby shower cake wrecks

From misshapen cake babies to questionable text, from odd colour choices to internal organ recreation, these are the baby shower cakes that taste forgot.

Photographer captures the beauty of adoption

The love of a family is usually tough to capture on camera. This is an exception.

Pregnancy progression photo ideas

Want to record your pregnancy as your belly grows? Here are some creative, fun ideas for photo shoots along the way.

The myths and facts about "normal" breastfeeding

When it comes to successful breastfeeding, there is a wide variety to what is "normal", according to new research.

Tin can craft and DIY ideas

Got a few old formula, Milo or coffee cans around the house? Use these fantastic upcycling ideas to create items for around the house and yard.

Dads meet their newborn for the first time

Emotional photos of two fathers meeting their newborn son have resonated with viewers worldwide, attracting thousands of Facebook likes and shares.

Skin safety isn't just a summer worry

Lax about the slip slop slap with your kids as weather turns cooler? Here's a reminder as to why we have to remain vigilant for our children?s future health.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

Creative sleeping baby photoshoots

See how some parents and photographers have captured sleeping babies in unusual positions and using different props.

DIY kitchen and food hacks

DIY your way to a better kitchen and make cooking easier with our clever hacks. (Some content reproduced with permission from mashable.com.)

Winter warmers for babies and toddlers

Your baby or toddler will be nice and snug in these beautiful and fun winter pieces. Most are hand-made or knitted, and they're all designed to keep your little one toastie - and adorable!

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.