Jump to content

Aggressive neighbour, help please


  • Please log in to reply
32 replies to this topic

#1 Montro

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:18 PM

I'm at my wits end with my neighbour.  I won't go into too much detail in case I identify her (she may be a member, who knows.)

There's a lot of animosity between she and me.  Basically, she's someone who is used to getting her own way (her dad is the mayor) and she wanted me to make some changes to my property to suit her (removing a tree which is nowhere near her property and some other things.  I refused and since then she's become pretty awful.

Her chosen method of intimidation is to drive within 3 feet of me, almost running me down with her car.  Earlier today I parked in my driveway and she drove into hers, didn't slow down at all, and, in all hosesty, if I reached out I would have touched her car.  If I park on the street and I'm standing near my car, having just got out and she's driving down the road, she'll veer over to me, and I have to get out of the way.  She's also done this to my children.

Obviously this only happens when I'm getting in or out of my car and she's driving into or out of her driveway, so it's not an everyday occurance.  However, when we are doing just that with out cars, without fail, every time, she will drive super close to me.  Most of the time I don't even know she's there until her car whooshes past me.  She then gets out of her car, which is by now in the garage, stares/glares at me and puts the garage door down.  I could yell at her, but I really don't want her to know that her behaviour scares me.  Not sure why, I just don't.

The police tell me I can't do anything unless she actually hits me or my children.  I would like to get a solicitor to send her a warning type letter, but don't have spare $$$ for that.  She's so arrogant, she'd probably just laugh it off.

This has gone past the point of merely being annoying; her behaviour is dangerous.

Not sure what I can/should do.

Suggestions?

I would also ask that my post not be copied, as I really don't know if she is a member or not.

Thanks

#2 JECJEC

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

Very passive aggressive but you could fall down like she hit you and see what she does - may give her a fright.

#3 rainycat

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:32 PM

Or maybe film her on your phone.

#4 Pearson

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

as above with a couple of screws in your hand that "fall" under the wheels of her car.... woops


#5 lucky 2

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

Call your local Mayor?

#6 Fluster

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

I had the same experience a while back.  I intervened when a teenager on our street was assaulting his girlfriend.  DH and I took her back to our house until a friend came and picked her up.

This thug then proceeded to try and run me down when I was jogging.  Pretty embarrassingly (for her) his girlfriend decided to stay with him and she'd actually be in the car when he was trying this.  He ran a red light one night as we got a green light at a local intersection - he would have t-boned us if we'd kept going.  He slows down when he passes our house and stares at us.  

We chose to ignore it.  He's calmed down a lot over the last year and now we're only subjected to glaring. He's all but given up.  

DH is rather disappointed as he was looking forward to a proper confrontation, but thankfully, this thug just proved that most bullies will only attack a) if they get a reaction and b) if they feel secure.  



#7 Stellajoy

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

QUOTE
Call your local Mayor?


This, or write to the newspaper and name names, local councils love that.

#8 KBM

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.

#9 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:36 PM

Film her doing it. Or get someone else to film it.

Tell her if she does it one more time you will pursue an avo.

She sounds seriously deranged.

#10 snortle

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:40 PM

QUOTE (KarenBubMachine @ 30/01/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.


Do this and then fall down. Scare her that she hit you and tell her in your most dramatic voice that if she even so much as sneezes in your direction you will go to the police, media and daddy about her intentionally running you over and trying to kill you.

#11 ChunkyChook

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:47 PM

I would keep my keys in my hand when getting out of the car and have a quick stretch and key her car as she drove past.

But I'm a b**ch.



#12 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:48 PM

I thought that too.  ph34r.gif

#13 Juki

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:07 PM

Film her and then apply for an AVO. Also start keeping a diary of her disgusting behaviour.

#14 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Go back to the police, and ask to speak to someone senior if you don't get anywhere.   There are offences other than actually hitting you.  See links for NSW - other states will have equivalents.  

Predatory driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...90082/s51a.html

Menacing driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...999412/s43.html

#15 Frockme

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

Install hidden cameras in your garden that show your drive and the street in front, ie places she's intimidating you.

#16 twinboys

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Put some big boulders/rocks at the start of your driveway on the nature strip and hope she does some serious damage to her car if she hits them.
This would hopefully keep her away from you when you are in the driveway.

#17 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Sounds like she lives for drama. Take the high road and ignore her - if she's used to being the centre of the world - it will infuriate her more. Keep your kids close until it blows over though.

#18 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:59 PM

And/Or send her a registered post letter telling her her behaviour is on record with the police and on your phone/camera (include some kind of report if you can make one with the authorities) so if she actually makes contact with any member of your family it will be considered malicious and she will subject to the appropriate charges.

#19 babybeli

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

Contact the community justice centre and organise some mediation to sort through your issues

#20 SylviaPlath

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:05 PM

If you just want her to stop, then filming her very obviously should work. Unless she is REALLY crazy.    

I think you either need to confront her (have it filmed) or write her a letter stating that conscious or not, she is driving too close and therefore it is a safety risk to you and your children and to be aware of this. It needs to be diplomatic, civil. That way, she has been notified and it will make you look good to the authorities/court in the event it escalates. If you do not let her know, she can argue she wasn't aware etc etc.


Also keep a diary and write down details/times etc.

That's all I can think of. Let us know how it all goes. Good luck.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

Get her on your phone and take it to the police.

#22 DreamFeralisations

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

I probably would call her on it - I would say "What are you doing?  I cannot believe you are behaving like a tantruming toddler over something that we had a legal right to turn down, and you are behaving like this.  Go to your room for 30 minutes and think about it, and I don't want to see you out here again until you apologise.  Otherwise I will call your father and get him to come over and talk to you about it."

Either that or do the key scratch.

#23 starfire

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

Ignore ignore. People who love to intimidate will get a kick out of it if you react.

Either go to the police and demand that someone listens and make a report so that it is on record if it escalates. Or get someone to film her doing this and take it to the police for evidence.

But in the meantime, ignore. It is a very hard situation to be in though sad.gif

#24 loubee

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:15 PM

Can you talk to her. Perhaps head over with someone neutral to let her know that this behaviour is out of line and how can you work through it. It might not walk but as you are living next door to each other I would want to try everything to restore harmony or at least a little civility.  After you have approached her, by letter if you really can't face her, then talk to the police again.

I like the fall down suggestion if all else fails  biggrin.gif .

#25 nano-tyrannus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

Bait her, over the next week make a hidden camera video of say 10 occurrences where she almost hits you, and then dob her in to the hoon line and get her car confiscated or have her licence revoked for careless driving.

I would also put a restraining order on her in parallel, because such a video made over a short period of time will show to a reasonable person (like a judge) that she intends to either hurt or intimidate, and that can hopefully force her to move.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Teaching our son to say no to violence against women

Today, on White Ribbon Day - and every other day - we're teaching our son to say no to violence against women.

Mothers told to breastfeed in 'spacious' toilet

If there is one thing the owners of Tillings Cafe can be certain of, it is that the eatery won't win the award for Britain's best baby-friendly coffee shop any time soon.

Mother gives name to son dumped down drain

A woman who admitted to dumping her newborn baby down a Sydney drain has reportedly been allowed to give him a name.

Taking small steps to reduce stress

Are you feeling used up by life's stress, family problems and a demanding job you can't turn off? Many people are way beyond work-life exhaustion. They are functioning as robots.

Bad news: we're running out of chocolate

The world's biggest chocolate-maker says we're running out of chocolate.

Born at 23 weeks, 'Chopstick Baby' survives first week

A baby who was born at 23 weeks has survived her first week of life outside the womb.

Manic stations: the nesting instinct in pregnancy

It might sound like temporary insanity, but almost obsessive nesting as you near your due date isn’t uncommon – even if you’re not usually a particularly clean person.

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

Love has nothing to do with mental illness. But love may drive a mother to do something about it.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong'

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

Two children who were given to the wrong families at birth will soon learn if they will be returned to their biological parents.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.