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Aggressive neighbour, help please


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#1 Montro

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:18 PM

I'm at my wits end with my neighbour.  I won't go into too much detail in case I identify her (she may be a member, who knows.)

There's a lot of animosity between she and me.  Basically, she's someone who is used to getting her own way (her dad is the mayor) and she wanted me to make some changes to my property to suit her (removing a tree which is nowhere near her property and some other things.  I refused and since then she's become pretty awful.

Her chosen method of intimidation is to drive within 3 feet of me, almost running me down with her car.  Earlier today I parked in my driveway and she drove into hers, didn't slow down at all, and, in all hosesty, if I reached out I would have touched her car.  If I park on the street and I'm standing near my car, having just got out and she's driving down the road, she'll veer over to me, and I have to get out of the way.  She's also done this to my children.

Obviously this only happens when I'm getting in or out of my car and she's driving into or out of her driveway, so it's not an everyday occurance.  However, when we are doing just that with out cars, without fail, every time, she will drive super close to me.  Most of the time I don't even know she's there until her car whooshes past me.  She then gets out of her car, which is by now in the garage, stares/glares at me and puts the garage door down.  I could yell at her, but I really don't want her to know that her behaviour scares me.  Not sure why, I just don't.

The police tell me I can't do anything unless she actually hits me or my children.  I would like to get a solicitor to send her a warning type letter, but don't have spare $$$ for that.  She's so arrogant, she'd probably just laugh it off.

This has gone past the point of merely being annoying; her behaviour is dangerous.

Not sure what I can/should do.

Suggestions?

I would also ask that my post not be copied, as I really don't know if she is a member or not.

Thanks

#2 JECJEC

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

Very passive aggressive but you could fall down like she hit you and see what she does - may give her a fright.

#3 rainycat

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:32 PM

Or maybe film her on your phone.

#4 Pearson

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

as above with a couple of screws in your hand that "fall" under the wheels of her car.... woops


#5 lucky 2

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

Call your local Mayor?

#6 Fluster

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

I had the same experience a while back.  I intervened when a teenager on our street was assaulting his girlfriend.  DH and I took her back to our house until a friend came and picked her up.

This thug then proceeded to try and run me down when I was jogging.  Pretty embarrassingly (for her) his girlfriend decided to stay with him and she'd actually be in the car when he was trying this.  He ran a red light one night as we got a green light at a local intersection - he would have t-boned us if we'd kept going.  He slows down when he passes our house and stares at us.  

We chose to ignore it.  He's calmed down a lot over the last year and now we're only subjected to glaring. He's all but given up.  

DH is rather disappointed as he was looking forward to a proper confrontation, but thankfully, this thug just proved that most bullies will only attack a) if they get a reaction and b) if they feel secure.  



#7 Stellajoy

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

QUOTE
Call your local Mayor?


This, or write to the newspaper and name names, local councils love that.

#8 KBM

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.

#9 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:36 PM

Film her doing it. Or get someone else to film it.

Tell her if she does it one more time you will pursue an avo.

She sounds seriously deranged.

#10 snortle

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:40 PM

QUOTE (KarenBubMachine @ 30/01/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.


Do this and then fall down. Scare her that she hit you and tell her in your most dramatic voice that if she even so much as sneezes in your direction you will go to the police, media and daddy about her intentionally running you over and trying to kill you.

#11 ChunkyChook

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:47 PM

I would keep my keys in my hand when getting out of the car and have a quick stretch and key her car as she drove past.

But I'm a b**ch.



#12 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:48 PM

I thought that too.  ph34r.gif

#13 Juki

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:07 PM

Film her and then apply for an AVO. Also start keeping a diary of her disgusting behaviour.

#14 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Go back to the police, and ask to speak to someone senior if you don't get anywhere.   There are offences other than actually hitting you.  See links for NSW - other states will have equivalents.  

Predatory driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...90082/s51a.html

Menacing driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...999412/s43.html

#15 Frockme

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

Install hidden cameras in your garden that show your drive and the street in front, ie places she's intimidating you.

#16 twinboys

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Put some big boulders/rocks at the start of your driveway on the nature strip and hope she does some serious damage to her car if she hits them.
This would hopefully keep her away from you when you are in the driveway.

#17 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Sounds like she lives for drama. Take the high road and ignore her - if she's used to being the centre of the world - it will infuriate her more. Keep your kids close until it blows over though.

#18 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:59 PM

And/Or send her a registered post letter telling her her behaviour is on record with the police and on your phone/camera (include some kind of report if you can make one with the authorities) so if she actually makes contact with any member of your family it will be considered malicious and she will subject to the appropriate charges.

#19 babybeli

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

Contact the community justice centre and organise some mediation to sort through your issues

#20 SylviaPlath

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:05 PM

If you just want her to stop, then filming her very obviously should work. Unless she is REALLY crazy.    

I think you either need to confront her (have it filmed) or write her a letter stating that conscious or not, she is driving too close and therefore it is a safety risk to you and your children and to be aware of this. It needs to be diplomatic, civil. That way, she has been notified and it will make you look good to the authorities/court in the event it escalates. If you do not let her know, she can argue she wasn't aware etc etc.


Also keep a diary and write down details/times etc.

That's all I can think of. Let us know how it all goes. Good luck.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

Get her on your phone and take it to the police.

#22 Sancti-mummy

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

I probably would call her on it - I would say "What are you doing?  I cannot believe you are behaving like a tantruming toddler over something that we had a legal right to turn down, and you are behaving like this.  Go to your room for 30 minutes and think about it, and I don't want to see you out here again until you apologise.  Otherwise I will call your father and get him to come over and talk to you about it."

Either that or do the key scratch.

#23 starfire

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

Ignore ignore. People who love to intimidate will get a kick out of it if you react.

Either go to the police and demand that someone listens and make a report so that it is on record if it escalates. Or get someone to film her doing this and take it to the police for evidence.

But in the meantime, ignore. It is a very hard situation to be in though sad.gif

#24 loubee

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:15 PM

Can you talk to her. Perhaps head over with someone neutral to let her know that this behaviour is out of line and how can you work through it. It might not walk but as you are living next door to each other I would want to try everything to restore harmony or at least a little civility.  After you have approached her, by letter if you really can't face her, then talk to the police again.

I like the fall down suggestion if all else fails  biggrin.gif .

#25 nano-tyrannus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

Bait her, over the next week make a hidden camera video of say 10 occurrences where she almost hits you, and then dob her in to the hoon line and get her car confiscated or have her licence revoked for careless driving.

I would also put a restraining order on her in parallel, because such a video made over a short period of time will show to a reasonable person (like a judge) that she intends to either hurt or intimidate, and that can hopefully force her to move.




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