Jump to content

Aggressive neighbour, help please


  • Please log in to reply
32 replies to this topic

#1 Montro

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:18 PM

I'm at my wits end with my neighbour.  I won't go into too much detail in case I identify her (she may be a member, who knows.)

There's a lot of animosity between she and me.  Basically, she's someone who is used to getting her own way (her dad is the mayor) and she wanted me to make some changes to my property to suit her (removing a tree which is nowhere near her property and some other things.  I refused and since then she's become pretty awful.

Her chosen method of intimidation is to drive within 3 feet of me, almost running me down with her car.  Earlier today I parked in my driveway and she drove into hers, didn't slow down at all, and, in all hosesty, if I reached out I would have touched her car.  If I park on the street and I'm standing near my car, having just got out and she's driving down the road, she'll veer over to me, and I have to get out of the way.  She's also done this to my children.

Obviously this only happens when I'm getting in or out of my car and she's driving into or out of her driveway, so it's not an everyday occurance.  However, when we are doing just that with out cars, without fail, every time, she will drive super close to me.  Most of the time I don't even know she's there until her car whooshes past me.  She then gets out of her car, which is by now in the garage, stares/glares at me and puts the garage door down.  I could yell at her, but I really don't want her to know that her behaviour scares me.  Not sure why, I just don't.

The police tell me I can't do anything unless she actually hits me or my children.  I would like to get a solicitor to send her a warning type letter, but don't have spare $$$ for that.  She's so arrogant, she'd probably just laugh it off.

This has gone past the point of merely being annoying; her behaviour is dangerous.

Not sure what I can/should do.

Suggestions?

I would also ask that my post not be copied, as I really don't know if she is a member or not.

Thanks

#2 CEJCEJ

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:25 PM

Very passive aggressive but you could fall down like she hit you and see what she does - may give her a fright.

#3 rainycat

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:32 PM

Or maybe film her on your phone.

#4 Pearson

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

as above with a couple of screws in your hand that "fall" under the wheels of her car.... woops


#5 lucky 2

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:33 PM

Call your local Mayor?

#6 Fluster

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

I had the same experience a while back.  I intervened when a teenager on our street was assaulting his girlfriend.  DH and I took her back to our house until a friend came and picked her up.

This thug then proceeded to try and run me down when I was jogging.  Pretty embarrassingly (for her) his girlfriend decided to stay with him and she'd actually be in the car when he was trying this.  He ran a red light one night as we got a green light at a local intersection - he would have t-boned us if we'd kept going.  He slows down when he passes our house and stares at us.  

We chose to ignore it.  He's calmed down a lot over the last year and now we're only subjected to glaring. He's all but given up.  

DH is rather disappointed as he was looking forward to a proper confrontation, but thankfully, this thug just proved that most bullies will only attack a) if they get a reaction and b) if they feel secure.  



#7 Stellajoy

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

QUOTE
Call your local Mayor?


This, or write to the newspaper and name names, local councils love that.

#8 KBM

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.

#9 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:36 PM

Film her doing it. Or get someone else to film it.

Tell her if she does it one more time you will pursue an avo.

She sounds seriously deranged.

#10 snortle

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:40 PM

QUOTE (KarenBubMachine @ 30/01/2013, 07:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Whack the boot of her car with your hand or your bag (no breakables in it!) as she whisses past you.  Not enough to do any damage but just the noise alone will scare the pants off of her.

If she then has the balls to accuse you of damaging her car, you can then front her about driving so close to you all the time.


Do this and then fall down. Scare her that she hit you and tell her in your most dramatic voice that if she even so much as sneezes in your direction you will go to the police, media and daddy about her intentionally running you over and trying to kill you.

#11 ChunkyChook

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:47 PM

I would keep my keys in my hand when getting out of the car and have a quick stretch and key her car as she drove past.

But I'm a b**ch.



#12 KT1978

Posted 30 January 2013 - 06:48 PM

I thought that too.  ph34r.gif

#13 Juki

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:07 PM

Film her and then apply for an AVO. Also start keeping a diary of her disgusting behaviour.

#14 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:17 PM

Go back to the police, and ask to speak to someone senior if you don't get anywhere.   There are offences other than actually hitting you.  See links for NSW - other states will have equivalents.  

Predatory driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...90082/s51a.html

Menacing driving

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/con...999412/s43.html

#15 Frockme

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

Install hidden cameras in your garden that show your drive and the street in front, ie places she's intimidating you.

#16 twinboys

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Put some big boulders/rocks at the start of your driveway on the nature strip and hope she does some serious damage to her car if she hits them.
This would hopefully keep her away from you when you are in the driveway.

#17 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:53 PM

Sounds like she lives for drama. Take the high road and ignore her - if she's used to being the centre of the world - it will infuriate her more. Keep your kids close until it blows over though.

#18 **pk**

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:59 PM

And/Or send her a registered post letter telling her her behaviour is on record with the police and on your phone/camera (include some kind of report if you can make one with the authorities) so if she actually makes contact with any member of your family it will be considered malicious and she will subject to the appropriate charges.

#19 babybeli

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

Contact the community justice centre and organise some mediation to sort through your issues

#20 SylviaPlath

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:05 PM

If you just want her to stop, then filming her very obviously should work. Unless she is REALLY crazy.    

I think you either need to confront her (have it filmed) or write her a letter stating that conscious or not, she is driving too close and therefore it is a safety risk to you and your children and to be aware of this. It needs to be diplomatic, civil. That way, she has been notified and it will make you look good to the authorities/court in the event it escalates. If you do not let her know, she can argue she wasn't aware etc etc.


Also keep a diary and write down details/times etc.

That's all I can think of. Let us know how it all goes. Good luck.

#21 *melrose*

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

Get her on your phone and take it to the police.

#22 Sancti-mummy

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

I probably would call her on it - I would say "What are you doing?  I cannot believe you are behaving like a tantruming toddler over something that we had a legal right to turn down, and you are behaving like this.  Go to your room for 30 minutes and think about it, and I don't want to see you out here again until you apologise.  Otherwise I will call your father and get him to come over and talk to you about it."

Either that or do the key scratch.

#23 starfire

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

Ignore ignore. People who love to intimidate will get a kick out of it if you react.

Either go to the police and demand that someone listens and make a report so that it is on record if it escalates. Or get someone to film her doing this and take it to the police for evidence.

But in the meantime, ignore. It is a very hard situation to be in though sad.gif

#24 loubee

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:15 PM

Can you talk to her. Perhaps head over with someone neutral to let her know that this behaviour is out of line and how can you work through it. It might not walk but as you are living next door to each other I would want to try everything to restore harmony or at least a little civility.  After you have approached her, by letter if you really can't face her, then talk to the police again.

I like the fall down suggestion if all else fails  biggrin.gif .

#25 nano-tyrannus

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:40 PM

Bait her, over the next week make a hidden camera video of say 10 occurrences where she almost hits you, and then dob her in to the hoon line and get her car confiscated or have her licence revoked for careless driving.

I would also put a restraining order on her in parallel, because such a video made over a short period of time will show to a reasonable person (like a judge) that she intends to either hurt or intimidate, and that can hopefully force her to move.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Ada Nicodemou: 'I can never be completely happy again'

Home and Away actress Ada Nicodemou has opened up about the loss of her stillborn baby.

10 things to consider when you're thinking about trying for a baby

Before you start tracking your menstrual cycle and reading up on the best positions to get pregnant, there are a few other things you may want to consider.

Baby Gammy's dad tries to claim charity money

The biological father of baby Gammy has reportedly tried to access charity money raised for the little boy's medical costs.

How special surgery and IVF can create a post-vasectomy baby

Cricket legend Glenn McGrath and his second wife Sara are expecting their first child together, thanks to IVF and a delicate surgical sperm retrieval process that helped the couple to conceive.

Belle Gibson's mother 'disgusted and embarrassed'

The mother of disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson has accused her daughter of lying about her childhood in an attempt to garner public sympathy.

Life On Mars

It's men who need 'retraining', not women

We are all responsible for our own behaviour. Telling victims to harden up is wrong.

Doctor's mobile phone 'left inside c-section mum'

A new mum claims a doctor left his mobile phone inside her after delivering her baby via caesarean section.

I'm a mum and I'm following my dreams

I want my kids to know that no matter what happens in life, you can still be who it is that you've always wanted to be.

Those first daycare days

I had this innate 'mum' moment the other day.

'If one person had listened, my life would have been so different'

Katherine's father will die in prison for the horrifying sexual abuse of his daughter. Yet she is the one with the true life sentence.

Couple to celebrate terminally ill baby's birthday in unique way

Baby Jai Bishop has lived at Starship Hospital for the past seven months, with his parents flying back and forth from Hokitika, 1100km away, to be by his side.

This new plan undermines breastfeeding and baby health at everyone's expense

Mothers, babies, the health system and the wider society are going to pay the price of this new budget.

Trying to understand why your baby is upset

Working out what?s underlying your baby's fussiness can be a case of trial and error. Here are a few common causes and how you can remedy each one.

When those you love judge your parenting

In today's society, never has it been harder to parent without judgment. But what about when judgment is coming from closer to home?

Don't play the victim blame game with family violence

It's not a woman's job to teach violent men how to behave.

11 truths about having two under two

When I told my mothers? group that my husband and I had started trying for our second baby they told me I was crazy. Now I can see why.

'How do you say goodbye to someone you've only just started to get to know?'

New mum Sarah Sutton was faced with a shattering scenario no person should have to endure.

It's a ... boy! Couple welcomes son number 13

"It's a boy!" That's the phrase Kateri Schwandt has heard in labour delivery ward for the 13th time in her life.

Six reasons to go for a walk

Can't find time to get to the gym? It could be just as beneficial to put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

Seven questions you should be asking about your health cover

If the last time you assessed your health cover was five years ago, there?s a chance it may no longer suit your needs. To ensure it?s still right for your family, click here for seven questions to ask.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Where are the childcare places?

It?s all very well to encourage women to work if they choose to, but how can the measures lead to increased workforce participation when women are once again left holding the baby?

The pain of not having babies and not knowing why

After seven years of wishing, hoping, crying, punching pillows and shouting "why me?!", the end result is more than I ever thought possible.

Getting your family finances in order

Whether you're after a new car for a growing family, a bigger house, or are just fixing up your finances, here are the basics on borrowing.

Mum shares graphic selfie to warn against tanning

A mum has shared a graphic photo of her skin cancer treatment as a warning to others.

Does parenthood make us happier?

We can certainly gain higher levels of happiness when we become parents, but the trick is to not get overwhelmed by the pressures of raising our kids.

No, having a dog is not like having a human child

It's obvious these people dote on their pets, but they're barking up the wrong tree.

Toddler styling

Seven things my toddler taught me about my home

My standards at home were never that high but having a two-year-old has taught me to be cool with chaos.

Australia's top baby names of 2014

The numbers have been crunched and it's official: Australian parents are having a bit of an 'O' moment.

How to set up the perfect nursery for your baby

You'll soon be meeting your baby, but you've got one big task to get done first: setting up a comfy, calming nursery you'll both be able to enjoy.

Childcare rebate: tougher rules for stay-at-home mums

A new form of activity testing will be introduced to ensure the highest subsidies go to parents who contribute the most to the workforce.

The women who desperately need more support in pregnancy

For women suffering from chronic morning sickness or hyperemesis gravidarum, pregnancy can be the roller coaster from hell.

When labour doesn't happen and you're induced

I never actually went into labour - so by 42 weeks I was booked in for induction.

Mum's grief for triplets inspires change

The death of Sophie Smith's triplet baby boys has motivated the half-marathon mother and her team to raise $1.25 million for charity.

The best advice for treating head lice

Just like a horror movie ... THEY'RE BAAAAAACK. So what works in treating and avoiding head lice and nits?

Overdue and over it

A watched womb never labours ... or at least mine didn't.

Parenting an early walker

Watching your child take their first wobbly steps is one of the best parenting highs you'll ever experience. But with that high comes a new reality.

Baby-led weaning worked for us

My baby wasn't interested in food - until we tried something new. Now she's eating it all, and it often comes from my plate.

'Paralysed bride' becomes a mum

Rachelle Friedman Chapman was preparing to marry the man of her dreams when tragedy struck four years ago.

 

Top baby names

Baby Names

The numbers are in and we can now bring you the 2014 top baby name list for Australia.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.