3 pregnancy announcements in 24 hrs
Really am trying to be happy for them..
, Jan 29 2013 09:33 PM
8 replies to this topic
Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:33 PM
Sorry I need to get this out of my system...
So last week my DPs brother and sister in law announced they are expecting their first baby, I am of course excited for them it will be the first baby on DPs side of the family. They weren't trying for a baby.
The next day a friend of mine announced she is pregnant, she only just found out so isn't even sure how far along she is yet... She has also admitted that she only got pregnant to please her family and because she thinks having a baby will be fun but doesn't want to have a child so she will struggle once he or she grows up.
This made me SO SO mad, I tried to hide my emotions but she could tell I wasn't happy about it. I have been trying for 6 months now and want a child more than anything I don't understand how someone could give in to someone else and have a baby its not like its wearing a jacket you don't like just to please your mum.
So after I calmed down about that news my brother and sister announced they are also expecting a baby.
Again I am really happy and excited for them as I get to have another nephew or a niece, being an aunty brings me so much joy. They fall pregnant first go (they are both very fertile)
Oh DP and I know of 7 people who have had or are having a baby this year and its only January.
It just really hurts to see so many people get pregnant when it hasn't happened for me yet.
I know most of you know what I mean.. Thank you for reading my rambling
Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:50 PM
I know what you mean. Birth announcements are everywhere lately.
It's painful especially after 2 years for me and 1 full year of really ttc. A baby is all I can think about. It's most painful when some of these people didn't even try.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 10:13 PM
I understand your frustration. It took us 7 years to get this baby (10 weeks to go til due date) and had so many friends get preggers in that time. Most friends went on to have 2 or 3 babies in that time. I have learnt to accept that noone else's journey will be the same as mine, therefore theres no point to feeling upset that they got their baby so easily or for the "wrong" reasons. To cope, you really have to let go of your own frustrations over everyone else and just be happy they haven't had to go through the waiting. You've only been trying for 6 months, so try not to let it get you down. Relax and enjoy your hubby. Relax because at the end of the day you have no real control over conception. Sure you can temp etc to know you are BDing at the right time, but try not to obsess over it. Remember they say you should seek help after a year of trying if youre under 35, so you're only half way! Hope you get your BFP soon!
Posted 29 January 2013 - 10:24 PM
I agree it is so hard not to let it get you down. I had to just pull away from some people for a while to cope.
My personal vent was I reached out to a friend who had a miscarriage and told her of my own. She said to me she was actually happy about it because she had decided she was too young to be a mum. Three months later she was pregnant again.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 10:33 PM
Kez is on the money here. OP, I know it sucks and it seems like everyone, everywhere will fall before you do.
Kez has good advice. The best thing my FS said to me was "Science can only take you so far, the rest is up to the Universe". It makes a lot of sense. It may seem like these people have "chosen" to fall but really, it is luck of the draw. It really is.
Our four years trying have brought us closer through hard times and great times as a couple. If we ever fall, we will be stronger for it.
I know it seems like forever and that everything in the universe is pointing at you and laughing sometimes.
Enjoy this time as much as you can.
Take care of yourself. Do things for you. Read the book you've been putting off. Learn a new craft, paint your nails every week, get a massage. It won't take away the feelings, but it will help you focus on the right here and right now.
All the best OP. I get it. I really do.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 10:37 PM
The first thing my GP said to me when I mentioned my plans to get pregnant was, "It's perfectly normal for healthy couples to take 6-12 months to get pregnant." A healthy woman with no fertility problems has something like 10-15% chances of conceiving every month, so if somebody is pregnant at first go, it's a matter of luck - not how fertile they are. I've had friends who got pregnant in the first month when they have medical issues that affect fertility. I have a friend who found out about two pregnancies within a month (miscarried the first and second child is thankfully happy and due soon). Or a friend who took 10 years to conceive her first then only 2 months for the second. There are lots of people who can't get pregnant for months or years for no known reason. So although you might feel negatively, remember 6 months is nothing when you're TTC. From a medical perspective you have no fertility issues until you've been trying for 12 months.
Posted 30 January 2013 - 01:16 PM
I know exactly how you feel too. We've only been TTC for a few months, but several of my friends have made their big announcements in that time. To be honest, my first reaction was jealousy! How did that happen for you so easily?! One of them has a 14mo and now is pregnant with her second, both times only took her a month. I want to be happy for her, and I am, but. . . she's just so LUCKY!
But as everyone says, you just have to go on your own journey, and try not to let other people's journey's reflect on you at all! Everyone has a different experience, and we just have to accept that.
Posted 30 January 2013 - 01:24 PM
I get it too OP.
I never ever got pregnant but...
I am now a mum....
to 2 thru adoption.
You will cherish your child sooooooo much when you finally have them. Good luck.
Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:06 PM
Thank you ladies...
I know we haven't been trying for very long... I have so much respect for you ladies who have been trying for years, it would be oh so hard.
I have now started to take the more relaxed approach and am trying to focus more on my fitness and loose some more weight.
I just need to stay positive and remember that being a mum will happen for me one day
Thank You again your words helped me more than you would realise
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