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Considering something, need ideas.


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#1 TenOfSwords

Posted 29 January 2013 - 06:48 PM

A friend of mine is currently struggling financially, and has expressed that she would like to get out and do something with her son, but can't afford the petrol to even do something free.
I have a spare $50 sitting in my account, and I was considering transferring it into her account so that her and her son can go out and enjoy a day of fun.
Thing is, is that I don't want to weird her out or offend her. I also don't want her to feel as though she has to pay it back.

How do I go about it?


#2 kez71

Posted 29 January 2013 - 07:09 PM

you're a sweet friend! you could put it in a birthday card for her..unless you know her birthday has just been.
you could buy tickets to say the aquarium or somehting and just invite her along..or say you got them for yourself but can't go and could she take them

#3 EssentialBludger

Posted 29 January 2013 - 07:12 PM

I wouldn't give money, but I would organise a fun day out and shout her along. I've done this before.

#4 Leeloomina

Posted 29 January 2013 - 07:17 PM

Buy a visa gift card, and say to her, "Hey I won a couple of gift card from blah blah competition. I am giving one to friend A, but would you like to have the other one?"

Or what PP said.

#5 TenOfSwords

Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:25 PM

I thought about just inviting her out somewhere instead but I am busy every day from now until school holidays end with various appointments and meetings, and she goes back to work then and her son back to school.
Plus, I was thinking the money will let her choose where she is comfortable going, because I know she can get panic attacks and stuff.

Thinking I might withdraw the money, put it in a card and drop it in her letter box, might be a bit more personal than bank transfer.

#6 R2B2

Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:27 PM

i'd hand deliver it in a card at least, incase she is one of those people that rarely check their mail!

What a lovely thing to do! original.gif

#7 mindy05

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:36 AM

I did an online survey once and got a Coles express giftcard for my troubles. You could buy one of these, or a caltex/ Safeway one, and tell her you won it and want to give it to her. Then she can use it to get petrol.

#8 Kenzi_Bubble

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:46 AM

I would also phrase it as 'I won something but can't do it as we are busy for the rest of the holidays', I know I feel weird if someone tries to pay for me and DD if I can't afford to do it unless its a birthday present (but I save up so I can do it back lol, I'm bad at accepting help lol)

#9 countrymel

Posted 30 January 2013 - 07:48 AM

When my friend was in tough financial straights and I wasn't she had had a very scary experience with her ex husband which - while she was being brave about it, I was left worrying about her plus I was about to leave the state for a few weeks.

I put my old mobile phone, a SIM card and purchased $80 worth of credit and wrapped it up with a sweet treat and mailed it off to her.

I explained in my note that I needed to know she was safe and I did it for me.

On previous occasions I had left an envelope with some cash in it with notes saying this is for you to be able to do XYZ with the kids - and I want photos!

I made sure that I phrased these things as something that I needed, to make me happy - her being safe, her children being able to have fun with their Mum... they made me happy.

It was a selfish act on my part.  As long as you stress that you are doing it for your own selfish reasons then no-one has to feel obligated or guilty.  

It isn't charity, it is friends being friends.

#10 Peppery

Posted 30 January 2013 - 08:45 AM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 30/01/2013, 08:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It isn't charity, it is friends being friends.


I feel this way as well. I think it is a lovely thing to do. I would put the money in a card and drop in her letterbox.

#11 ~*Twilight~Zone*~

Posted 30 January 2013 - 10:59 AM

I like countrymel's approach.

Give her the money and tell her it's for her son to do something with and not her.  If I was on the receiving end I would feel more comfortable with people giving money to my kids and not me.




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