Jump to content

Not coping with work - pregnancy


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 Satay Chicken

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:42 PM


This is a part vent but also wondering how others cope?

So, I'm nearly 23 weeks pregnant - its been a pretty good pregnancy except for the exhaustion, its like nothing I have ever felt before, I feel like at 80 year old woman.

Anyway, work is really taking its toll - I commute 3 hours a day, that includes walking 4.5km's from buses to work and back.  I get to work at 8 and usually can get out at 5pm but I find the days just so long especially now I am getting bad back pain.  Right now, after a terrible day, I am so tired I have lost my voice and I feel like bursting into tears... I just don't know I how I am going to get through to the end of April like this...  I also don't really have any friends at work so spend most of my days in silence, this just makes it that much harder...

How do others cope with long days??  Maybe I am just a lightweight...  sad.gif

#2 flear

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:51 PM

Working and being pregnant is hard. I am 31 weeks FTM and some days are a struggle for me more than others.
Is there a way that you can talk to your boss about either reducing your hours or working from home for one day?
I had such bad morning sickness that for the first 20 odd weeks of my pregnancy I couldn't work 5 days a week and had to have a sick day once a week just to be able to function for the rest of them. Is this something that you could do also?
How helpful/understanding is your partner? Mine gave me foot/lower back massages every couple of days and that helped me cope better as well.

It does get easier though!! Or you just get more use to it original.gif

Good luck with everything.

#3 carriesshoes

Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:56 PM

I just focused on my end of work date and aiming for it!  

Admittedly I finished up work 4 weeks before my due date, but one of the main reasons was that I don't have toilets on my floor at work.  Going up and down emergency exit stairs when you can't see your feet, you need to pee a millions times a day, and you can't hang on for too long, really got the better of me!

#4 FeralBee

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:09 PM

*hugs* that sounds so hard, especially with a long commute!

I'm only in the early stages of pregnancy, but bad morning sickness has made working a nightmare. I'm lucky I have an understanding boss.

What is your workplace like for employee benefits? Can you talk to someone (your manager, your boss or HR, depending on the size and structure of your organisation) about how to manage this?

Before you approach anyone though, try to have a solution in mind. For me, starting a bit later has helped a lot because it gives me more time to rest in the morning.

Changing hours, going part time, working from home, or organising a temporary parking spot at the office to make your commute easier are a few potential solutions, obviously depending on your job situation.

When you talk to them, try to be clear and assertive. The current situation isn't working, and it is in their best interests to keep you since you are already trained in the job and (assumedly) plan to come back after maternity leave, meaning that long term they will retain someone they have invested in.

It is also in their best interests to ensure that you are able to be fully productive when you are at work, which in your current situation you are not - so highlight the benefits for them, and what you are willing to do to make it work for both you and your employer.

#5 Bunsen the feral

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:12 PM

That's a hell of a commute! I was travelling about an hour each way when pregnant with DS1 including a 1km uphill walk from the station. I arranged with a colleague that she would drop me at the station at the end of the day and in the morning I called the office to see if any one was heading out to do a coffee run and could they pick me up on the way! I figured if you don't ask you don't get - meant that most days I didn't have to walk both ways, I did have to shout a lot of coffees tho!

Towards the end (SPD and a 4.75kg baby do not make for happy walking) it was too much so I finished up early - about 6 weeks before my due date.

My abiding memory of that time is walking in the door each evening, throwing my bra on the floor and crawling into bed, DH would bring me dinner in bed, I was exhausted!

#6 MrsLexiK

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:21 PM

Oh Satay, I have a similar commute to you but without the walk.  I am in my car so that bit is much easier I feel (and with the holiday traffic still I am normally only averaging an 1 at the moment, getting to work at 8.45 and home by 6pm.  I suspect in t he next few weeks that will go out to 6.30 though.  

I started training the girl who was taking over my position on the 3rd Dec, she informed me after I had wasted basically Dec and Jan that this was not the job for her (this is after talking to her in Dec raising some points and me saying "are you sure this is right for you" and her nodding and saying yes of course it is I just take a bit to get used to things)

So now as opposed to just deligating working and keeping an eye on work, I will have to start training another person to take on my job again I hate training it is so stressful!

#7 deedee15

Posted 29 January 2013 - 03:30 PM

Wow, that commute is impressive, as others have said, see if you can either reduce your hours or start working from home if it is possible.
Otherwise can you stay somewhere a bit closer for one or two nights a week?



#8 Natttmumm

Posted 29 January 2013 - 04:18 PM

I feel for you. The exhaustion is tough. I finished up at 33 weeks. I couldn't do anymore

#9 envs

Posted 29 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

QUOTE (deedee15 @ 29/01/2013, 03:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow, that commute is impressive, as others have said, see if you can either reduce your hours or start working from home if it is possible.
Otherwise can you stay somewhere a bit closer for one or two nights a week?



This.

My folks were close by, and especially when they wree taking care of DS whilst I was at work, I was too exhausted to drive home, DH often worked late or away, so I just had spare clothes at my folks' and stayed there when I needed to

#10 Duck-o-lah

Posted 29 January 2013 - 04:32 PM

I've just come home from work sick and I must say I'm relieved to read that there are so many other ladies in the same boat, I feel soft for taking the arvo off sad.gif

Sorry OP, I don't have any more suggestions to add to pp's advice. I would definitely let your employer know you are struggling and see if you can come up with a mutual solution.

Also just wanted to sympathise original.gif I'm 30 weeks and work is getting really difficult. I just keep focusing on the end date and keeping my countdown going... 29 days to go!

#11 lozoodle

Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:24 PM

Work is seriously starting to take its toll, im so over it. The only saving grace is my hours, i work 7-2. But the two hours a day commute is sh*t.

Roll on feb 15!!'

#12 elizabethany

Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:30 PM

I would have a chat with your collegues, and see if anyone drives who can pick you up at the station and bring you back.  Reducing the amount you walk will help a lot with the tiredness.

#13 seaside_feral

Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:33 PM

Work is exhausting during pregnancy.... I'm finding I get so tired these days & I don't have to commute like you do. I have commuted in the past before I was pregnant & even then it was very tiring.

Would you possibly be able to work from home one or two days a week? Or do you have friends or relaties closer to your work who you could possibly stay with once or twice a week?

I find drinking plenty of water & also getting up & walking around during the day help me to feel less tired too.

Good luck OP, hope you feel better soon!!

#14 Lauren Bell

Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:38 PM

Oh my gosh you poor thing :-( pregnancy is really hard.

Hang in there.. April isn't that far away, then you'll be home with your new baby :-)

I did cleaning in a hot summer for my ENTIRE pregnancy. Up til a week before, I'm small an had a massive bump and terrible MS the whole time. Work involved walking around all day in sweltering heat, carrying massive bags full of cleaning stuff up thousands of stairs, vacuuming and making beds all day... I did it because I knew It wasn't gonna last much longer and I just needed to get through a few months, it was all over before I knew it and I got paid parental leave and was able to have four months off. Good luck <3

#15 MummaBirdy

Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:03 PM

You poor thing, it is exhausting being pregnant and woeking long days, let alone all that travel. I am only 15 weeks pregnant at the moment but am not coping at all.
I've got a really stressful job and after I get home to look after DD and put her to bed I then have to get back online and keep working. It's a little better now I have actually told people at work that I'm pregnant, but I've been so sick at night and exhausted and stressed during the day, and have no idea how I'm possibly going to make it to the end of this pregnancy!
And I keep needing to remind myself that it's not all over when the baby comes, it's only the beginning!
Financially it will be difficult for me to take 4 weeks off prior to the birth but physically, emotionally, and for the sake of my relationships with dH and DD, I think I need some non work time before the baby arrives.
I'm sorry I haven't helped at all but i felt the pain and exhaustion in your post and wanted to share my same feelings and let you know you're not alone in this work/pregnancy struggle! Wishing you all the best.

Edited by MummaBirdy, 29 January 2013 - 09:04 PM.


#16 Koobie83

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:08 AM

I can totally relate. But mine has more to do with the stress of my work rather than exhaustion. I'm so unbelievably over it. I have 9 weeks left before I start maternity leave but everyday I just can't be a$$ed with it anymore. I just don't care. Like if someone wants something done I just don't care. And this is weird for me. I'm usually so on top of my work but now I just don't care anymore.





#17 Satay Chicken

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:29 AM

MissBB - Far out... that must have taken so much out of you  blink.gif

Thanks though, good to know others are over it too!  My work is pretty good, I actually slept in this morning and have only just come into work now, my boss was fine about that and he has already mentioned that the baby is much more important than my job - he's been good.

I spose I get a bit of pressure elsewhere in my office, there are girls here who worked to 2 weeks pre birth, waddling around - they stuck it out for their job!!  Thing is they were in their very early 30's, I'm 37 - makes a bit of a difference.

DH also saw how tired I was last night and is now going to try and pick me up from the bus stop rather than walking home - that will help heaps...

So, going to keep my eye on the prize....  happy.gif

#18 BeccaBoo88

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:37 AM

Just adding that you aren't alone.

For my it was (well, is) the commute plus terrible co-workers making my life hard. I agree with people when they say focus on the end date (Feb 8th is like my own version of Christmas right now!). You say you're 37 and the other girls worked the whole way through... but who cares?? I'm 24, fit and healthy and have only gained about 9kg so far but I'm taking 6 weeks prior to my EDD. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. They may not take the time, but for me it's important. Let them waddle around and push themselves to the end, but remember every pregnancy is different.

As for the pain, agree with PP about getting it checked out by a professional to see if you can make adjustments. It sounds like you have a great boss, so this shouldn't be too difficult to request.

Silent days. I can relate to this also. Download your favourite podcasts (or try out some new ones) and listen to them while you work. Turn on a radio. Email a friend every few hours.

Hoping things get better for you. original.gif

#19 SophieBear

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:44 AM

I am 28w4d (but who's counting  rolleyes.gif  laughing2.gif) and honestly CBF going to work, I'm tired. I just want to sleeeppp!! I'm finishing up at 36 weeks because I know I'll be exhausted by then.

It takes me 20 mins to get to work and I have a low stress workplace at a desk and a little bit of driving to meet customers but I've pulled that back.

I have no idea how you're doing it! Please don't push yourself so hard. Are you able to get a taxi for that walk? That's full on! Especially in summer.

On my iPhone I have an app called countdown. It's 1 month 3 weeks 1 day and 8 hours until I finish up... or 40 working days (including today). If you count them down it'll seem like less!

Bring on the 22nd of March!!! (my last day!)

#20 janie1105

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

Just a quick note: good for you for working so hard with a long commute.  I used to nap on my lunch break.  A half hour sleep would do me the world of good.



#21 Koobie83

Posted 30 January 2013 - 09:45 AM

QUOTE (BeccaBoo88 @ 30/01/2013, 09:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You say you're 37 and the other girls worked the whole way through... but who cares?? I'm 24, fit and healthy and have only gained about 9kg so far but I'm taking 6 weeks prior to my EDD. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. They may not take the time, but for me it's important. Let them waddle around and push themselves to the end, but remember every pregnancy is different.


Exactly. I'm taking 4 weeks off prior to EDD and that's because I just can't take it anymore. Even then my team leader sorted of wanted me to keep working up to the 2 week before EDD because she did and everyone else seems to these days, but you know I'm tired, stressed and over it already and if I could I would go on maternity leave now. So 4 weeks I think is a good time to just relax and get ready. There's more important things in life than work I reckon!

#22 mrs_tee

Posted 30 January 2013 - 01:38 PM

I hear you OP, the commute is a killer!  I spend at least 3 hours a day in the car getting to and from work, I spend all day at a desk, and I also have a tail bone injury which makes sitting for any length of time unbearable! I find getting up and going for a walk (even just to the bathroom or down the corridor) helps with back pain and tightness.  I try to take the dog for a walk if I get home early enough in the evenings too.

I'm lucky I work for a small practice with a very understanding boss who does whatever they can to make life easier for the staff.  I already work from home one day a week, and if I'm feeling up to it might even work from home after I finish up in the office 4 weeks before my EDD (mainly due to the commute - I don't want to be going into labour so far from home if I can help it!). If not, thats ok too, I haven't had a lot of free time to organise things for when the baby arrives like setting up the nursery or going shopping for things we still need so that should give me a chance to get things done provided the baby doesn't come early  smile1.gif

My best advice is to just talk to whoever you need to at work to see what can be done to make things a bit easier for your self.  As a PP suggested, have some ideas in mind of what you would like, then sit down and negotiate something.  I had a friend who quit a great job about half way through her first pregnancy because she was too tired - without ever trying to negotiate anything to make things easier for herself wacko.gif  

As for me, counting down the days until that final one is a great way to push through at 3pm when all I want to do is lie down and have someone wait on me with food and massage my feet  biggrin.gif

#23 countrychic29

Posted 30 January 2013 - 02:06 PM

Satay Chicken, i hear you ... 23 weeks here and although i dont do the 3 hour commute .. mine is only 2. Im over work, i'm over the stress and got insanely jealous while catching up with my cousins wife who goes on maternity leave on friday (ok so she is 35weeks)  biggrin.gif
The only thing getting me through is counting down the days until May - however we need the money so will probably only have 2 full weeks off and work 3-4 days a week from home in the last 6 weeks.

talk to your employer about how they can make it easier for you, you are more valuable to them working from home or cutting your hours so you can cope rather than quitting in a fit of tears (the thought has also crossed my mind)





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Funny Father's Day cards

A little fun never goes astray when celebrating special occasions and Father's Day is no different. We've rounded up some funny Father's day cards for your husbands, fathers and other important men in your lives.

Electronic tags may keep newborns safe

The possibility of using electronic bracelets for mothers and their newborn babies is being investigated by Adelaide's Women's and Children's Hospital. 

Baby steps: when your little one starts walking

As a parent there are so many milestones to look forward to. That first smile, first word - and, of course, that first step.

Julia Watson's new book 'Breakfast, School Run, Chemo'

Tomorrow my friend Julia launches her first book. And while we're all overjoyed, the success is tinged with sadness. You see, Julia has stage 4 bowel cancer.

How not to name twins

Call me boring, but I don't think that when it comes to choosing my twins' names is the right time to use a good pun.

Fun Sunny Life pool inflatables just for babies

The babies of 2015 will thus be thrilled to paddle their happy baby legs in these brand new flamingo and swan baby inflatables.

Baby and bulldog born on the same day are best friends

When Chicago mum Ivette Ivens saw a French bulldog puppy who had the same birthdate as her son Dilan, she "just knew it?s meant to be" and took him home. Five months later, puppy Farley and Dilan are the best of friends - as Ivens says, "I?m pretty sure Dilan thinks they?re both the same species, as they walk at the same level and are both going through the stage of chewing on everything.?

Breastfeeding basics for beginners

Here are 10 tips to help make breastfeeding successful and stress free for both you and your baby as quickly as possible.

Girl smothers baby brother with peanut butter

This mum had a big clean up job on her hands.

How to hide those under eye shadows

Pandas are the only ones who benefit from under-eye shadows. If you're not fluffy and cute, you'll just look tired.

Young mum dies after being denied pap smear

A mother has died after she was denied a pap smear because she was deemed "too young" to need it.

Birthday cakes banned at childcare centre

A childcare centre in Sydney has banned birthday cakes after parent complaints about excessive sugar and children with allergies being left out.

Triplet surprise for newlyweds

As the radiographer moved the wand over her abdomen, Shelley King got the surprise of her life.

3 yummy Thermomix baby and toddler recipes

Louise Fulton Keats shares her recipes for babies and toddlers, including corn and sweet pikelets, pumpkin and pea risotto, and cheesy bunny biscuits.

Man arrested over toddler Nikki's death

A 31-year-old man has been arrested over the death of two-year-old Nikki Francis-Coslovich in Mildura.

Adoption ban on pregnant women to be lifted

Pregnant women will no longer be barred from adoption waiting lists in NSW, after the Baird Government decided the practice was discriminatory.

Are you getting enough magnesium?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body, but we don't talk enough about it and the vital role it plays in great health and energy, as well as disease prevention.

5 workplace lessons for new parents

Take heart in these principles that will transfer seamlessly from the workplace into your new life as a parent.

Mums to follow on Instagram

A creative outlet for many, there are some savvy women complementing their blogs and businesses with riveting Instagrams feeds. We've chosen a few which have bucketloads of appeal; there are some big time players and some smaller local ones, and they each bring their special brand of magic to the Instagram experience.

Review: The Volvo 2015 XC90 SUV has all the safety features your family needs

The new Volvo XC90 SUV's focus on keeping you safe does not come at the expense of comfort in the XC90.

Kim Kardashian reveals she may have hysterectomy

Kim Kardashian has revealed complications during pregnancy means she might have to have a hysterectomy after the birth of her second child.

Why late night snacks wreak havoc on weight loss

 Loath as you may be to admit it, chances are that at some point you have found yourself in the kitchen late at night, devouring food.

Toddler twins pretend to be asleep to fool mum

They say twins have a unique connection. If this cute clip is anything to go by, these toddler sisters like to use their special bond to try to fool their mother.

Dad bags: 10 picks for out and about

Getting out of the house is a big priority in the early years of parenthood and you need to take a well-stocked kit with you. We've chosen 10 of the best nappy bags sure to appeal to dads in style and function.

Win a Mountain Buggy Swift

To celebrate Essential Baby reaching half a million Facebook fans, we have a Mountain Buggy Swift to giveaway to a lucky fan.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Dads who do their share have more sex: study

For women trying to encourage their partners to take more interest in fatherhood, it could be the ultimate incentive.

Think you might have IBS, coeliac disease or Crohn's?

Conditions affecting the gastrointestinal tract are common in modern humans, and many are on the rise - including irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and coeliac disease.

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer.

The exercises you know you should be doing (but probably aren't)

I bet your to-do list today is long. But somewhere on that massive list, are you making time for your pelvic floor?

This baby really loves the family cat

Some babies get excited when mum or dad come to get them from their cot after a nap.

Designer kids clothing good enough to eat by Oeuf

Even if you aren't heading to the Northern hemisphere in the next six months, you can't help but love the amazing food-themed knits for babies and kids by cult kids brand Oeuf.

Early exposure to peanuts recommended for allergy prevention

A paediatricians' group is recommending that infants at high risk of peanut allergies be given foods containing peanuts before they turn one.

Home brand foods contain less salt than pricier rivals

Supermarket home brand foods, long derided as cheap and inferior, contain far lower levels of salt than pricier, branded rivals, new research shows.

Nannies for hire, wherever you're flying

Ever dreaded the prospect of a long flight, dreaming about how wonderful it would be for a nanny to entertain the kids?

Couple poses for newborn shoot with adorable puppy

Tired of being asked about their baby-making plans, Australian couple Matt and Abby decided to give a creative answer: with an unusual photo shoot with their 'baby', a groodle (poodle/golden retriever cross) named Humphrey. The talented Elisha from Elisha Minnette Photography caught all the precious shots.

Is it okay to name your baby with a sense of humour?

My husband was sure that Danger was a good option for a boy. And as the pregnancy progressed, it actually started to sound really good.

Woman gives birth after having her own mother's uterus transplanted

In a world first, a healthy baby has been born from the same womb that nurtured his own mother.

So hot right now: double-barrelled baby names on the rise

It's one way to make your baby stand out from the pack – giving them not one, but two first names.

Second time around: is it really better the devil you know?

When I fell pregnant with my second child I was, naturally, very excited. Then it all started to come back to me - and I freaked.

Shopping with kids: breaking the pester-power cycle

You're out shopping with your little one and they're incessantly whining that they want a treat. It's easy to say no ... the first time, at least.

How did we have babies before apps came along?

Three months ago, my wife, Chrysta, and I were driving along Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles when she let out a harrowing cry.

When your toddler disagrees

There comes a time when your child starts having different views to you. I didn't realise that time would come so soon.

Win a Pacapod this Father's Day

To celebrate dads and families, we are giving away a Picos Pack from Pacapod Australia filled with a few extra goodies ENTER NOW

 

FREE TICKET

Discover the magic of the LEGOŽ DUPLOŽ Play Area in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.