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Creating a new surname for both partners after marriage


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#1 Relish*

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:11 PM

Has anyone done this? We are thinking about it. Is it a bit unrealistic or a lot of hassle? The kids currently have DP's name and I'm not keen on being the only one with a different surname (their names sound ridiculous with my surname and hyphened is also a real mouthful), and I have come up with a possible combination of both our names that doesn't sound too crazy and isn't currently 'in use' in Australia. What do you think?

#2 cinnabubble

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:13 PM

I like it. It's a lot more equitable than most solutions for people who want everyone to share a surname.

#3 BetteBoop

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:15 PM

Sounds like a great option to me.

#4 Mumsyto2

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:15 PM

Go for it - super idea and one more people should consider.

#5 FeralBee

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:18 PM

Do it! We considered it, but I chickened out... I was scared of my in laws' reaction. I feel like I might regret that one day, I liked the name we had picked.

#6 Lyra

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:19 PM

I wanted to do this, my husband didn't. I have my name, he has his and the kids are hyphenated. If I had my time over I wouldn't have hyphenated the kids

#7 feralangel

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:20 PM

I like the idea of a hybrid name.  Apparently it is quite popular OS at the moment.  I say go for it.

#8 EffiesMum172

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:21 PM

.

Edited by EffiesMum172, 29 January 2013 - 07:46 AM.


#9 sparkles30

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:24 PM

We did it. Our names blended together to make a surname that was very similar to a well-known surname already. We just joined both names together without a hyphen. We haven't actually technically changed our names because we have been lazy, but we do go by our joint surnames. Our kids legally have the made up joint surname.

#10 Percival

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:24 PM

I love this idea and immediately started playing with my maiden
Name and our surname. Unfortunately every combination was hilarious. However if you can make a nice surname go for it original.gif

#11 trebambinibelli

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:28 PM

If it works for you and you're happy with it why not?  Mine would have been Jamster so it wouldn't have worked for me lol  I can see a spin-off thread from this...

#12 maeby

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:37 PM

We did it!  Similar reasons to yours (I didn't want his name, he didn't want mine, and neither of us wanted to be the odd one out if there were kids at some point), and so we decided to make a new name.  We thought about combos of our two 'maiden' names, but in the end went with something charming from the early days of our relationship (entirely unrelated to all our previous surnames).  

We did it by me changing my name with the office of births, deaths and marriages, and then him taking my name when we got married.  It was no more inconvenient than you'd imagine with going to the RTA to change my license etc (you get a 'change of name' document as proof).  Our families thought it was pretty weird (his especially.  He's foreign, and in his country you would never ever ever be allowed to change your surname like this unless it was Hitler or something), but none of them objected or anything (and even if they had, it wouldn't have stopped us).

I would recommend it 100%.  It's been 5 years since we made the change, and I have never regretted it at all.  I love the fact that we have a common surname and that we didn't have to fight over whose name to take or all the baggage that comes with all the more traditional options.

Do it!

Edited by maeby, 28 January 2013 - 08:39 PM.


#13 Relish*

Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:32 PM

Ah thank you! I'm glad to see the reaction is mostly positive, I know some of our friends and family would be a little 'wtf' but that doesn't really bother me.

Maeby, that sounds so much like us - DP's father's family is Asian and I do suspect they would be HORRIFIED, almost as if he's turning his back on his family or something, so it is something that he will have to put a bit of thought into and give his Dad some warning if we do decide to do it. I'm so glad for you it was the right decision though, I know if it were just me and the kids to think about I would do it in a heartbeat! DP has a lot more of his identity wrapped up in his name than I do though.

The only thing that concerns me a little is the ancestry side of things, my Dad is a real geneology nut and I know he will point out how confusing it would be for someone researching the family tree to come across a name change like this. There's also the fact that though this name doesn't appear to be used in Australia it popped up overseas when I typed it into google, so it is someone's name, even though they might never know of our existence. Something to think about, thanks all.

#14 daruma

Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:32 PM

Hi.  I didn't change my name but unofficially we are known by a combination of our names.  As your children already have your husband-to-be's name they would all need to have their name changed by deed poll.  And then filling in forms they need to always complete the also known as....but even with all that if it is what you want then I would go for it.  It does not bother me at all that my name is not the same as my husband and my son...

#15 MrsLexiK

Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:39 PM

I know someone who had done this. The male had no connection to his name (his fathers name no relationship with the father), the female had no love to keep her name (bit of a mouthful) so they made a new name which had both in that was not complicated or hard to spell.

#16 namie

Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

I've loved the idea of this ever since I heard a story about a couple who changed their names. I don't know if it's a true story or an urban myth, and I may have their first name wrong, but Sue Berry and David Smith met, fell in love and planned to get married.

However, Sue didn't want to be Sue Smith and David thought his name was pretty boring too, so now they're Sue and David Berrysmith. Which I think is really cool.

Unfortunately there is no possible blend of mine and DPs surnames so my plan is for both of us to keep the names we were born with. The kids have his surname and I'm ok with that. I like my name a lot and there aren't many of us left, with not many men-folk to continue the name, so at least it's here a little longer while I'm around.

#17 skae

Posted 28 January 2013 - 10:30 PM

We considered it, but decided against it in the end.

For me *personally*, since there are already your kids involved I would either take DH surname or just continue with my own name and be the 'odd one out'. It's a lot of hassle and might be weird for the kids to learn a new name.

Although now I write that I realise your kids are just babies so it's almost a moot point.

#18 The 7 Dwarfs

Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:33 PM

I wish we had of done that, would have gone with Picton. Too late now though for us, I think it is something you need to do prior to having children. I don't really associate myself with either of our paternal families, so have felt no need and definitely no honour in passing either of those names on, however I have always felt it important for me, my husband and our children to have the same family name, no matter what that was or where it came from.

QUOTE
The only thing that concerns me a little is the ancestry side of things, my Dad
is a real geneology nut and I know he will point out how confusing it would be
for someone researching the family tree to come across a name change like this.


I do a lot of genealogy and until the 1500's people didn't really have family names, they were "Jane of Melbourne" or "Richard Fitz John" son of "John Fitz William". The only really records that you can trace from that era are those of nobles, royalty or otherwise very wealthy and it is easy to trace because those people kept pretty good records. They also often changed their names frequently.

We keep such good records that it wouldn't pose the same issue now days as it would trying to trace people between 1900-1500, when record keeping for the every day person was often very poor.

#19 Justaduck

Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

If it works why not, I know with us it wouldn't as it would be Damp.

#20 Justaduck

Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:37 PM

** Double Post **

Edited by broncosbabe, 30 January 2013 - 06:53 PM.


#21 tibs

Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:43 PM

Friends of ours did this but they just picked a totally random name that wasn't anything like either of their names.

#22 marnie27

Posted 29 January 2013 - 12:02 AM

DP and I did this as we wanted the same surname and we also wanted to hyphenate the kids surname to include their dad's surname. It works really well for us.

Original surnames (not our real surnames but to give you an idea)

Me - Johnson
DP - Thomas
Kid's dad - O'Reilly

Now DP and I are Thomson and kids are Thomson-O'Reilly.

#23 Ducky*Fuzz

Posted 29 January 2013 - 12:12 AM

It's your family original.gif I'd do it under those circumstances.  Why not?  



#24 FeralAlpacaWarrior

Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:20 AM

QUOTE (daruma @ 28/01/2013, 10:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hi.  I didn't change my name but unofficially we are known by a combination of our names.  As your children already have your husband-to-be's name they would all need to have their name changed by deed poll.  And then filling in forms they need to always complete the also known as....but even with all that if it is what you want then I would go for it.  It does not bother me at all that my name is not the same as my husband and my son...

The deed poll bit might not be necessary (and also can be quite expensive).

When DH and I got married, I didn't have a middle name, and I wanted to take his surname but also wanted to keep my name, and as I was a teacher I didn't want a hyphenated name (seeing as I would be hearing it eleventy-billion times a day). So I took my maiden name as my middle name. I was born in Qld, and all I had to do was fill in a Change of Name form at the office of BDM in Qld, give good reason to change my name, and provide my marriage and birth certificates.

It just means now that in situations where I have to show my birth certificate and marriage certificate, ie getting a passport, applying for a security clearance, I also have to provide my Change of Name Certificate. Both DDs were given DH's (and mine) surname at birth, easy peasy.

I'd check with your state office of BDM OP, it should be relatively easy and cheap. Should add too that when I investigated changing my name by deed poll, it meant that I would be issued a new birth certificate, and was going to cost hundreds of $, somewhere around the $500 mark I think, and this was 10 years ago.

ETA scrap what I said about deed poll. I've just done a search for you OP and it seems the only way to change your name is the way I did it, via BDM in your state, so pretty easy.

Edited by lovealpacas, 29 January 2013 - 10:58 AM.


#25 maeby

Posted 29 January 2013 - 11:46 AM

I've never got the genealogy objection.  Surely it's just as hard to look up a former name as it is to look up a maiden name?  Everything's so heavily documented these days (as a PP said) that it's surely not going to be hard to find the truth.  And even if it is, surely the thrill of the chase is part of the charm of researching the family tree?  And I have to say, I'm not really inclined to make major life choices for the sake of facilitating someone else's hobby.




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