Trouble settling to sleep at night
, Jan 27 2013 09:25 PM
7 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:25 PM
DS is is just about 8.5 months old, and has being so difficult to settle to sleep at night and I'm at a loss of what to do.
His bed time is 7pm, and has been since he was a few weeks old. He has always been a fantastic sleeper day and night, in that he has obvious tired signs and when put to bed will usually put himself to sleep without much of a fuss. Occasionally we'll pat or shush to sleep, but not often. He also takes a dummy, but just to get to sleep.
However over the last few weeks he's been so so hard to get to sleep at night, he still sleeps two-three times during the day and settles to all without a problem, and wakes 1-2 times a night for a feed then straight back to sleep. But come 7pm, all hell breaks loose!
He just won't settle, he cries and cries Nd cries. It's taking anywhere from 45min to over 2hrs to get him to sleep. I do a lot of patting and shushing... It's quite ineffective, but eventually he runs out of energy and falls asleep. I've tried controlled crying (very ineffectively - I don't have the commitment to it.. I last a few minutes at a time but its doesnt do anything except upset both of us. So it's off the list). I've tried feeding to sleep, he's not interested, I've tried holding him to sleep, which sometimes works, but I'm reluctant to do as I don't want to start this habit. So we pat, and shush and he cries. I've tried panadol a few times thinking it might be pain, but no luck.
He stops crying when I let him hold my hand - but he plays with it, and it keeps him awake longer. He cries again when I take it away. I've tried introducing a comforter, 3 weeks of trying, with no taking it up.
I don't know how much more I can take.... I went had sat in the backyard for 5min the other night And cried myself - I just needed a break (DH has been away with work). When I came back inhe was distraught! So then I felt horrible too.
Oh, and he has never shown any signs of separation anxiety (he's in day care three days a week) and he has been teething on and off, but he has caused very little discomfort so I don't think it's that (plus it doesn't impact him during the day, and panadol makes no difference)
My thoughts are 9 month sleep regression, a growth/development spurt, hes going to bed too early (i putbhim to bed at 7.30 tonight - still made no difference, I'm reluctant to shift his bedtime back any later tho - he does also seem tired when I put him down, but he just wakes himself up...) or I'm just getting a taste of the real life as a parent after a lucky start.
Either way I'm desperate for suggestions on what to do?!
Sorry for the long rambling post
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:32 PM
Edited by knowsnotmuch, 01 March 2013 - 04:19 PM.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:39 PM
You poor thing. I posted for advice about sleep issues a few months ago and had great assistance from some of the women here, who I am sure will be along soon.
My advice is, if holding to sleep works, do it. Don't worry about creating a habit, because as he gets older he will be able to change that habit once whatever phase this is passes.
After being a good go-to-sleeper DS started to act like your DS is around 9-10 months. He just would not go to sleep, he screamed and thrashed and it was awful. I could not do CC and the patting and shushing which had worked before he could roll/stand did not work.
So I held DS to sleep (sometimes it took more than an hour) for about 3 months. It nearly broke me, but then he started letting me put him in the cot awake so long as I stayed in the room until he fell asleep (also took and hour). After that he was back to being able to fall asleep alone again.
So it passes, but God it is hard. Just cuddle him close, it passes, and it is lovely, amid the torment, to feel you can cuddle and soothe your little one in this way.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:50 AM
Make sure there's plenty of warning that bedtime is coming - so have the same routine. We do stories, bath, sleeping bag, lullabies and BF, bed. Found that stories right before bed was too exciting.
Whatever method you use, you can make it easier by engineering a bit of physical tiredness.
Make sure the afternoon nap isn't too late. Wake him if necessary. Cut out the third nap.
Lots of tiring play - swimming is great, if he's crawling set up a bit of an obstacle course with tunnels etc.
Nice carby dinner like pasta, but not too late.
Make sure the house is dim and chilled out from 6ish. No TV and exciting games (hard when one parent gets home at this time).
Nice warm bath, cooling off afterwards makes you sleepy.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:07 AM
Sounds like my DD when she needed to drop the third nap. Even a 5-10min third nap would have her unsettled at bedtime and take hours to settle her. We started by stretching her awake times in the day by 15-20mins until she was having only 2 naps, and bam, back to 6.30-7pm bedtime, easy settling, 7am wakes.
Worth a try if you're still having the third nap.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:24 AM
Oh, mate it's pretty common at that age and makes it such a hard time.
Dropping any third nap definitely helps.
Dealing with teething pain helps.
As for us we did the above and then just rode it out for a few months. It was a really really hard time. I was exhausted. After a few months even rocking and singing wouldn't get him to sleep and so we've now been gradually teaching our son to fall asleep in the cot. It's taken 3 weeks and he's back to where he was at 8 months - I can sing a lullaby, pop him in his cot and walk out of the room most of the time.
Can I also suggest making the process more comfortable for you? I have a second thin cot mattress, pillow and soft blanket under the cot that I've pulled out for myself when I need it. I also have an ipad so I can lie or sit by the cot and distract myself from the endless routine of it all when he's been really unsettled. Audio books or music would also help with that. It makes it immeasurably easier when you are not dead bored as well as dead tired.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 01:37 PM
Thanks all so much!
We are still having a short third nap (usually 15min or so), so maybe I'll try dropping it
Glad to hear all the 'it's a phase' stories tho - gives me hope!! Haha
Meggs, I knew I'd get told I need a routine!
<donning flame suit> a bedtime routine is one thing we've never done. We do have a rough routine, and we do most things every night, like dinner is usually at the same time (but not always at home), bath happens most but not all nights, but we always do stories and cuddles and breastfeeds the same. But work, family and a few other commitments make it impossible to be in the same place for the same thing at the same time every night. I justify it by telling myself that he's never had, or needed routine before - he's always slept like an angel! Although, it's still up my sleeve if we don't see any improvement soon,
Niggles - I've got a spare mattress and its getting moved today!!
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:45 PM
I think you'll find dropping the third nap will really help. Your LO will be tired enough to settle well. Seems like he's transitioning to two naps - just stretch wake time a little.
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.
A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”
A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.
A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.
Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.
One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.
There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.
She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.
We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.
Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.
Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.
Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?
Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.
Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.
Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reaction to their exciting pregnancy news.
"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."
When a group of teenagers made rude remarks about her body as she walked past them in a bikini at the local beach, Julie Cross refused to cover up.
They had been trying to conceive a baby for seven years. Tragically Kristy Kirchner found out she was pregnant the day before her husband Royce's funeral.
We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.
Every toddler's favourite television pig is being sued by an Italian woman who shares a name with a Peppa Pig character.
"Men can't have babies - that's something only women can do! But our community is full of like-minded people who wish otherwise."
Forget about the bright, pretty baby things - while you're in survival mode, all you'll need are the essentials.
The announcement of a mass recall comes as Malaysian police investigate the death of pregnant woman in July.
I had a much wanted precious baby girl, a 'good baby' who slept well, self settled and was mostly content. It just seemed implausible to think I could succumb to depression.
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.
To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!
I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.
There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.
Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".
They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.
New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.
The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.
Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.
Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.
In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.
Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.
Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.
A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.
A new study proposes that, like a strong cup of coffee, ice may give those with insufficient iron a much-needed mental boost.
Each year in Australia, over 40,000 newborns need the help of a special care nursery or neonatal intensive care unit. One day a year, the staff are honoured by the parents they help through those dark days.
This time my husband and I hadn't taken any chances. We had paid $50,000 and travelled 13,000 kilometres to make sure the baby growing inside me was female.
Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.
Being a first-time mum is tough for so many reasons – particularly because you really have no idea what you're doing.
Helen Richardson son's had two anaphylactic reactions in a month. It's traumatic for everyone.
It wasn't a pregnancy test or missed period that told me I was pregnant with my second baby; it was too early for those things. A doner kebab told me I was going to be a mum again.
Robbie Williams stole the show during his wife Ayda's labour, pretty much demonstrating everything on the "what not to do when your partner is in labour" list.
Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.
Given the nickname of 'Chopstick Baby' by local media, a baby born weighing 660g has survived a week outside the womb.
How many weeks til Christmas?
Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.