Jump to content

Trouble settling to sleep at night
Wwyd


7 replies to this topic

#1 Felix101

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:25 PM

DS is is just about 8.5 months old, and has being so difficult to settle to sleep at night and I'm at a loss of what to do.

His bed time is 7pm, and has been since he was a few weeks old. He has always been a fantastic sleeper day and night, in that he has obvious tired signs and when put to bed will usually put himself to sleep without much of a fuss. Occasionally we'll pat or shush to sleep, but not often. He also takes a dummy, but just to get to sleep.

However over the last few weeks he's been so so hard to get to sleep at night, he still sleeps two-three times during the day and settles to all without a problem, and wakes 1-2 times a night for a feed then straight back to sleep. But come 7pm, all hell breaks loose!

He just won't settle, he cries and cries Nd cries. It's taking anywhere from 45min to over 2hrs to get him to sleep. I do a lot of patting and shushing... It's quite ineffective, but eventually he runs out of energy and falls asleep. I've tried controlled crying (very ineffectively - I don't have the commitment to it.. I last a few minutes at a time but its doesnt do anything except upset both of us. So it's off the list). I've tried feeding to sleep, he's not interested, I've tried holding him to sleep, which sometimes works, but I'm reluctant to do as I don't want to start this habit. So we pat, and shush and he cries. I've tried panadol a few times thinking it might be pain, but no luck.

He stops crying when I let him hold my hand - but he plays with it, and it keeps him awake longer. He cries again when I take it away. I've tried introducing a comforter, 3 weeks of trying, with no taking it up.

I don't know how much more I can take.... I went had sat in the backyard for 5min the other night And cried myself - I just needed a break (DH has been away with work). When I came back inhe was distraught! So then I felt horrible too.

Oh, and he has never shown any signs of separation anxiety (he's in day care three days a week) and he has been teething on and off, but he has caused very little discomfort so I don't think it's that (plus it doesn't impact him during the day, and panadol makes no difference)

My thoughts are  9 month sleep regression, a growth/development spurt, hes going to bed too early (i putbhim to bed at 7.30 tonight - still made no difference, I'm reluctant to shift his bedtime back any later tho - he does also seem tired when I put him down, but he just wakes himself up...) or I'm just getting a taste of the real life as a parent after a lucky start.
Either way I'm desperate for suggestions on what to do?!

Sorry for the long rambling post sad.gif

#2 ~ppp~

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:32 PM

-

Edited by knowsnotmuch, 01 March 2013 - 04:19 PM.


#3 sakura73

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:39 PM

You poor thing. I posted for advice about sleep issues a few months ago and had great assistance from some of the women here, who I am sure will be along soon.

My advice is, if holding to sleep works, do it. Don't worry about creating a habit, because as he gets older he will be able to change that habit once whatever phase this is passes.

After being a good go-to-sleeper DS started to act like your DS is around 9-10 months. He just would not go to sleep, he screamed and thrashed and it was awful. I could not do CC and the patting and shushing which had worked before he could roll/stand did not work.

So I held DS to sleep (sometimes it took more than an hour) for about 3 months. It nearly broke me, but then he started letting me put him in the cot awake so long as I stayed in the room until he fell asleep (also took and hour). After that he was back to being able to fall asleep alone again.

So it passes, but God it is hard. Just cuddle him close, it passes, and it is lovely, amid the torment, to feel you can cuddle and soothe your little one in this way.

#4 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:50 AM

Make sure there's plenty of warning that bedtime is coming - so have the same routine.   We do stories, bath, sleeping bag, lullabies and BF, bed.  Found that stories right before bed was too exciting.  

Whatever method you use, you can make it easier by engineering a bit of physical tiredness.

Make sure the afternoon nap isn't too late.  Wake him if necessary.  Cut out the third nap.  
Lots of tiring play - swimming is great, if he's crawling set up a bit of an obstacle course with tunnels etc.
Nice carby dinner like pasta, but not too late.  
Make sure the house is dim and chilled out from 6ish.  No TV and exciting games (hard when one parent gets home at this time).  
Nice warm bath, cooling off afterwards makes you sleepy.








#5 axiomae

Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:07 AM

Sounds like my DD when she needed to drop the third nap. Even a 5-10min third nap would have her unsettled at bedtime and take hours to settle her. We started by stretching her awake times in the day by 15-20mins until she was having only 2 naps, and bam, back to 6.30-7pm bedtime, easy settling, 7am wakes.

Worth a try if you're still having the third nap.

#6 niggles

Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:24 AM

Oh, mate it's pretty common at that age and makes it such a hard time.

Dropping any third nap definitely helps.

Dealing with teething pain helps.

As for us we did the above and then just rode it out for a few months. It was a really really hard time. I was exhausted. After a few months even rocking and singing wouldn't get him to sleep and so we've now been gradually teaching our son to fall asleep in the cot. It's taken 3 weeks and he's back to where he was at 8 months - I can sing a lullaby, pop him in his cot and walk out of the room most of the time.

Can I also suggest making the process more comfortable for you? I have a second thin cot mattress, pillow and soft blanket under the cot that I've pulled out for myself when I need it. I also have an ipad so I can lie or sit by the cot and distract myself from the endless routine of it all when he's been really unsettled. Audio books or music would also help with that. It makes it immeasurably easier when you are not dead bored as well as dead tired.

#7 Felix101

Posted 28 January 2013 - 01:37 PM

Thanks all so much!

We are still having a short third nap (usually 15min or so), so maybe I'll try dropping it original.gif

Glad to hear all the 'it's a phase' stories tho - gives me hope!! Haha

Meggs, I knew I'd get told I need a routine! original.gif <donning flame suit> a bedtime routine is one thing we've never done. We do have a rough routine, and we do most things every night, like dinner is usually at the same time (but not always at home), bath happens most but not all nights, but we always do stories and cuddles and breastfeeds the same. But work, family and a few other commitments make it impossible to be in the same place for the same thing at the same time every night. I justify it by telling myself that he's never had, or needed routine before - he's always slept like an angel! Although, it's still up my sleeve if we don't see any improvement soon,

Niggles - I've got a spare mattress and its getting moved today!! original.gif great idea!



#8 axiomae

Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:45 PM

I think you'll find dropping the third nap will really help. Your LO will be tired enough to settle well. Seems like he's transitioning to two naps - just stretch wake time a little.



Reply to this topic



  


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

'I will defend my son's right to wear a tutu'

Three-year-old boy Roo likes to wear tutus and, until now, it hasn't been a problem.

Chinese sign up toddlers for chief executive classes

CHILDREN as young as three are being enrolled in "chief executive courses" in China as pushy parents become obsessed with giving their offspring an advantage over their young peers.

Free ticket offer

Pinky Mckay joins us again at the Essential Baby & Toddler Show presented by Blackmores with her expert baby settling advice. Register now for your free ticket.

The 'best little baby' and the police officer who rescued him

"And just in my head, I'm a father myself, and I couldn't sit there and let him ... I couldn't let him sit in that."

Olympian sells medal to pay for child's cancer treatment

An Olympian has sold his medal to help fund cancer treatment for a 3-year-old boy.

Family of mum who took her own life speak out about PND

From the outside it looked like Allison Goldstein was blissfully happy. She had a new baby, a loving husband, and was part of a close knit-family.

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

BuggyCart solves the dilemma of shopping with a pram

Ducking to the shops for some groceries is a whole other ballgame once you have a baby.

Viral photo shows powerful moment before second baby's arrival

While our second baby was very much wanted, I wondered if I could love another baby as much as I loved my first.

What does a baby with whooping cough sound like? Sometimes like this

It's a heartbreaking video that's difficult to watch, but that's just what Sydney mum of two Sandra wants people to do.

Cheers! Why we're all happy to be bad mothers now

A new generation of mums is resisting the pressure to be "perfect" - and revelling in their naughty side?

Dealing with mealtime fussiness: mums share their tips

It can be frustrating, worrying, and turn into a battle of wills - but it doesn't have to be like that

Why having a puppy is like parenting a child

Despite being a dog owner and a parent, I've never been able to relate to the idea that the two have many similarities – until now.

Baby Joey is sleeping star in adorable photos

When photographer mum Laura Izumikawa puts her baby daughter down to sleep, the last thing on her mind is rest.

The necessity of 'Do not disturb' signs for napping babies

Needless to say, the last thing any mum wants is for someone to loudly knock on the door and wake their sleeping cherub.

Mum's brutal truth about c-section: 'This is not the easy way out'

A new mum has shared photos of her caesarean section scar to prove she did not "take the easy way out" when giving birth to her son.

Twins give birth in same hospital just hours apart

Leanne went into labour on July 28, and remarkably, her twin sister Natalie soon followed.

Goki Ride-On cars for toddlers

Toddlers just love to ride on anything with wheels but will often reject the pram once they can walk.

Letting your health slide as you look after the kids? Here's how to get out of the trap

It's time to start prioritising our own health, as well as the health of our children, to avoid longer lasting health challenges.

How to child-proof every room in your house

A guide to making your home a safer place for little ones.

Portable pool safety reminder after toddler's death

The drowning of a Hobart toddler has prompted a coroner to remind the community that even inflatable and portable pools must be fenced.

I have a clingy toddler - help!

"Nothing stops the clinginess - he cries when I put him down, no matter how long I hold him."

Woman sues after botched termination leads to motherhood

A 23-year-old mother is suing her GP and the public health system for thousands of dollars to support her son after her termination went wrong.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

For the festival lover in all of us

Pre-book & Save 50%. Get your tickets now for Kidtopia Festival. 7-9 October 2016 Parramatta Park, Sydney.

Ex-Perth model stuck with 12kg leg after limb doubles in size during pregnancy

"I often have strangers coming over to me when I'm out asking bluntly what's wrong with my leg. I often just laugh now and tell them I've been attacked by a shark and walk off, it definitely stumps people."

Same sex couple 'blessed' with triplets via surrogacy

They feared they would never get to be parents, but a same sex couple is now adjusting to life with newborn triplets.

Should children be given antibiotics in their first year?

Here are the the pros and cons of giving antibiotics to young babies.

Baby born on mum AND dad's birthday

The birth of a baby is always a special occasion, but one couple who welcomed their first child earlier this week had more reason to celebrate than most.

The joys (and benefits) of show and tell

Show and tell has been around for donkey's years. Well, at least since I was a kid, and according to my own children, I'm pretty old.

Loyal dog dies saving baby's life during fire

A baby was rescued from a house fire after her family's loyal dog used his body to shield the little girl from the flames.

How having a young baby or toddler changes your home decor

What to expect when living with an older baby or toddler - and how to manage the chaos.

I'm trying to keep my child-free friends in my life, but it's tough

I tried to prove to my single friends that I was the same I'd always been. But marriage did change me - and motherhood has, too

'There's a giant picture of BOOBS but I can not feed my child'

A mum was ushered out of an US department store's underwear section after discreetly breastfeeding her baby.

How baby Evelie was saved after being born without a heartbeat

Bethanie Millar didn't believe in miracles - until baby Evelie was born, that is.

How an Aldi staff member made one exhausted mum's day

It was a simple act of kindness, but one that made an exhausted mother's day.

OvuSense: the new internal monitor helping predict ovulation

When a couple is trying to conceive it is easy for a woman to become obsessed about when she ovulates.

Mum-to-be surprises husband with big news in joy-filled photoshoot

When Bri Dow learnt that she was expecting, she immediately knew she wanted to break the news to her husband Brandon in a special way.

How a homemade wheelchair is giving baby Evelyn freedom

Like all one-year-olds, Evelyn Moore is keen to get moving and explore the world around her. But a battle with aggressive cancer left the little girl paralysed from the waist down.

Adorable: App captures special moments of pregnancy and motherhood

There's something about motherhood that turns even the most reluctant photographer into a keen shutterbug as they strive to capture all the best moments of life with a baby.

Dad shares horror tale after Roomba's run-in with dog poop

It's the poop story that's been shared hundreds of thousands of times around the world.

What I miss about commuting

A recent long commute for a job reminded me there are some potential positives to the experience.

 

SYDNEY SHOW - 23-25 Sept

Essential Baby & Toddler Show - Sydney

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show, presented by Blackmores, will be held in Sydney on 23-25 September. Register for your free ticket now to save $20!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.