Jump to content
Do you think kids react to pregnancy?
5 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:12 PM
I'm so sorry if there's a better place to post this, I just thought a few of you might be in the same boat at the moment.
DS has just turned 2, and I am 34 weeks pregnant. We've been talking to DS about the baby and reading There's a House in Mummy's Tummy every now and then. He shows interest in and talks about the baby sometimes. We do take it easy with the talk about baby though so that he doesn't get overwhelmed, and by that I mean we don't talk about the baby during every convo with DS.
Over the last few weeks DS has become really clingy, this last week has been awful. I have to do everything for him (to the point where if he drops his drink bottle, I have to pick it up, he won't even pick it up himself). He's not hating DH, but he'd much prefer to be with me (on top of me, being held by me, all over me). He's beautiful and I am being very careful not to take this time for granted, but I'm getting a bit scared of what's to come... how on earth will I cope with DS like this and a new baby who has even more needs?!!
My questions are this:
Is this normal?
Is his clinginess likely because he senses something's happening soon?
How can we make this easier on DS?
Is there anything I absolutely shouldn't do (are there things that can just make the situation worse?)
I guess my hormones are making my mother's guilt much, much worse. I want to do the right thing by him, but at the same time I don't want to get to the point where I feel suffocated.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:38 AM
My DD 1 was just about 2 when DD2 was born. She did get clingy towards the end but i think that was because I was home from work and she did have more time with just me.
I just did everything for her and tried to enjoy the one on one time. Maybe just let him get that attention for now if you can.
When the baby arrived she had 2 hard days. She wanted everything the baby had and we just let her. E.g bottle, wrap, sit the in the capsule, swing etc. after the two days she got over it and her behaviour went to normal again and she was fine.
Don't stress too much he is still young and will adapt more quickly than older kids. I think it's the advantage of a closer age gap.
My DD2 is 3 now and we are expecting number 3 in a few weeks. I can see the changes in her are more obvious. She's asking for her cot back which she hasn't been in for a yr, she wants the babies clothes etc. we might be in for an interesting time
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:11 AM
I honestly think at that age they have no idea what is about to happen, not really. They just can't really imagine it, its so far beyond their experience. He may however be picking up on your guilt/emotional/hormonal state (very normal!).
His behaviour could also be just typical twos (molars perhaps?) rather than a reaction to the baby arriving.
One thing I'd say is that if you have talked about you going to the hospital, make sure you explain that you will be coming home again after the baby is born. I realised with DS1 that no one had actually explained that bit to him and that's why he was getting upset at times when we talked about the baby. When I explained that I'd come home again with the baby he was relieved!.
As for what not to do - don't stress "you are the big boy now" type stuff. That might just make it worse. As PP said if he wants to act like a baby at times let him, but when he does big boy things comment on how fun it is that he can do x,y,z now that he is bigger.
The guilt is hard but you are giving him a beautiful gift of a sibling. He may not see it that way for a little while but he will!!
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:19 AM
We had the exact same thing with my son. I don't think they can grasp what is happening but they do understand something is going to happen and it's a little scary. I was really worried but in the end he took it all in his stride. He had no problem going to my mums and I actually think he was relieved when he came to the hospital and saw the baby. Once baby was home he went back to his old self.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:36 AM
I think it probably has more to do with the age and the nature of the child than the impending arrival as I think they are really too young to understand the fact that their lives are going to change.
Kay1 I think is right when she says that he may be picking up your anxiety about this change.....which is all normal from you of course.
None of mine ever had a negative reaction following the birth of a sibling but they all went through stages of being clingy and not quite themselves.
I hope all goes well OP, I am sure he will just love his new baby brother or sister.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:27 AM
Thank you all so much for your replies, they're so helpful.
I absolutely think you're right, he's more than likely picking up on my guilt and anxiety, he does tend to reflect my moods a bit.
Thank you again!
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?
A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.
An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.
It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.
Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.
At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.
These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.
Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.
In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.
A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.
So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.
We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.
Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.
Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.
After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.
Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown.
Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.
If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.
I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.
Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.
Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.
Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study
She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.
An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.
Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?
Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.
Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?
The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.
I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.
Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.
Top 5 Articles
I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.
I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.
French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.
A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.
Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?
First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.
The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.
A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life.
Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.
Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!
If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.
Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.
When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.
The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.
Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.
Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.
Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old
The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.
I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.
Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.
Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!