Jump to content
Do you think kids react to pregnancy?
5 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:12 PM
I'm so sorry if there's a better place to post this, I just thought a few of you might be in the same boat at the moment.
DS has just turned 2, and I am 34 weeks pregnant. We've been talking to DS about the baby and reading There's a House in Mummy's Tummy every now and then. He shows interest in and talks about the baby sometimes. We do take it easy with the talk about baby though so that he doesn't get overwhelmed, and by that I mean we don't talk about the baby during every convo with DS.
Over the last few weeks DS has become really clingy, this last week has been awful. I have to do everything for him (to the point where if he drops his drink bottle, I have to pick it up, he won't even pick it up himself). He's not hating DH, but he'd much prefer to be with me (on top of me, being held by me, all over me). He's beautiful and I am being very careful not to take this time for granted, but I'm getting a bit scared of what's to come... how on earth will I cope with DS like this and a new baby who has even more needs?!!
My questions are this:
Is this normal?
Is his clinginess likely because he senses something's happening soon?
How can we make this easier on DS?
Is there anything I absolutely shouldn't do (are there things that can just make the situation worse?)
I guess my hormones are making my mother's guilt much, much worse. I want to do the right thing by him, but at the same time I don't want to get to the point where I feel suffocated.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:38 AM
My DD 1 was just about 2 when DD2 was born. She did get clingy towards the end but i think that was because I was home from work and she did have more time with just me.
I just did everything for her and tried to enjoy the one on one time. Maybe just let him get that attention for now if you can.
When the baby arrived she had 2 hard days. She wanted everything the baby had and we just let her. E.g bottle, wrap, sit the in the capsule, swing etc. after the two days she got over it and her behaviour went to normal again and she was fine.
Don't stress too much he is still young and will adapt more quickly than older kids. I think it's the advantage of a closer age gap.
My DD2 is 3 now and we are expecting number 3 in a few weeks. I can see the changes in her are more obvious. She's asking for her cot back which she hasn't been in for a yr, she wants the babies clothes etc. we might be in for an interesting time
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:11 AM
I honestly think at that age they have no idea what is about to happen, not really. They just can't really imagine it, its so far beyond their experience. He may however be picking up on your guilt/emotional/hormonal state (very normal!).
His behaviour could also be just typical twos (molars perhaps?) rather than a reaction to the baby arriving.
One thing I'd say is that if you have talked about you going to the hospital, make sure you explain that you will be coming home again after the baby is born. I realised with DS1 that no one had actually explained that bit to him and that's why he was getting upset at times when we talked about the baby. When I explained that I'd come home again with the baby he was relieved!.
As for what not to do - don't stress "you are the big boy now" type stuff. That might just make it worse. As PP said if he wants to act like a baby at times let him, but when he does big boy things comment on how fun it is that he can do x,y,z now that he is bigger.
The guilt is hard but you are giving him a beautiful gift of a sibling. He may not see it that way for a little while but he will!!
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:19 AM
We had the exact same thing with my son. I don't think they can grasp what is happening but they do understand something is going to happen and it's a little scary. I was really worried but in the end he took it all in his stride. He had no problem going to my mums and I actually think he was relieved when he came to the hospital and saw the baby. Once baby was home he went back to his old self.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:36 AM
I think it probably has more to do with the age and the nature of the child than the impending arrival as I think they are really too young to understand the fact that their lives are going to change.
Kay1 I think is right when she says that he may be picking up your anxiety about this change.....which is all normal from you of course.
None of mine ever had a negative reaction following the birth of a sibling but they all went through stages of being clingy and not quite themselves.
I hope all goes well OP, I am sure he will just love his new baby brother or sister.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:27 AM
Thank you all so much for your replies, they're so helpful.
I absolutely think you're right, he's more than likely picking up on my guilt and anxiety, he does tend to reflect my moods a bit.
Thank you again!
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.
When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.
In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?
The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.
Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...
For and against
Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?
Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.
Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.
Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.
Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.
Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.
We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.
Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.
When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.
Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.
What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?
When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.
I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.
Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.
There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.
Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!
Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.
Top 5 Articles
Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.
Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.
As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.
Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.
The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.
Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.
Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.
From pee stick keepers to stylish sick bags, there are some very strange inventions out there for pregnant women.
We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)
Mind, body, beauty, life
We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.