Jump to content

Do you think kids react to pregnancy?


  • Please log in to reply
5 replies to this topic

#1 madammuck

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:12 PM

Hi all,

I'm so sorry if there's a better place to post this, I just thought a few of you might be in the same boat at the moment.

DS has just turned 2, and I am 34 weeks pregnant. We've been talking to DS about the baby and reading There's a House in Mummy's Tummy every now and then. He shows interest in and talks about the baby sometimes. We do take it easy with the talk about baby though so that he doesn't get overwhelmed, and by that I mean we don't talk about the baby during every convo with DS.

Over the last few weeks DS has become really clingy, this last week has been awful. I have to do everything for him (to the point where if he drops his drink bottle, I have to pick it up, he won't even pick it up himself). He's not hating DH, but he'd much prefer to be with me (on top of me, being held by me, all over me). He's beautiful and I am being very careful not to take this time for granted, but I'm getting a bit scared of what's to come... how on earth will I cope with DS like this and a new baby who has even more needs?!!

My questions are this:
Is this normal?
Is his clinginess likely because he senses something's happening soon?
How can we make this easier on DS?
Is there anything I absolutely shouldn't do (are there things that can just make the situation worse?)

I guess my hormones are making my mother's guilt much, much worse. I want to do the right thing by him, but at the same time I don't want to get to the point where I feel suffocated.

TIA

#2 Natttmumm

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:38 AM

My DD 1 was just about 2 when DD2 was born. She did get clingy towards the end but i think that was because I was home from work and she did have more time with just me.
I just did everything for her and tried to enjoy the one on one time. Maybe just let him get that attention for now if you can.
When the baby arrived she had 2 hard days. She wanted everything the baby had and we just let her. E.g bottle, wrap, sit the in the capsule, swing etc. after the two days she got over it and her behaviour went to normal again and she was fine.
Don't stress too much he is still young and will adapt more quickly than older kids. I think it's the advantage of a closer age gap.
My DD2 is 3 now and we are expecting number 3 in a few weeks. I can see the changes in her are more obvious.  She's asking for her cot back which she hasn't been in for a yr, she wants the babies clothes etc. we might be in for an interesting time


#3 Kay1

Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:11 AM

I honestly think at that age they have no idea what is about to happen, not really. They just can't really imagine it, its so far beyond their experience. He may however be picking up on your guilt/emotional/hormonal state (very normal!).

His behaviour could also be just typical twos (molars perhaps?) rather than a reaction to the baby arriving.

One thing I'd say is that if you have talked about you going to the hospital, make sure you explain that you will be coming home again after the baby is born. I realised with DS1 that no one had actually explained that bit to him and that's why he was getting upset at times when we talked about the baby. When I explained that I'd come home again with the baby he was relieved!.

As for what not to do - don't stress "you are the big boy now" type stuff. That might just make it worse. As PP said if he wants to act like a baby at times let him, but when he does big boy things comment on how fun it is that he can do x,y,z now that he is bigger.

The guilt is hard but you are giving him a beautiful gift of a sibling. He may not see it that way for a little while but he will!!

#4 fun_fairz

Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:19 AM

We had the exact same thing with my son. I don't think they can grasp what is happening but they do understand something is going to happen and it's a little scary. I was really worried but in the end he took it all in his stride. He had no problem going to my mums and I actually think he was relieved when he came to the hospital and saw the baby. Once baby was home he went back to his old self.

#5 Soontobegran

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:36 AM

I think it probably has more to do with the age and the nature of the child than the impending arrival as I think they are really too young to understand the fact that their lives are going to change.
Kay1 I think is right when she says that he may be picking up your anxiety about this change.....which is all normal from you of course.

None of mine ever had a negative reaction following the birth of a sibling but they all went through stages of being clingy and not quite themselves.
I hope all goes well OP, I am sure he will just love his new baby brother or sister.

#6 madammuck

Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:27 AM

Thank you all so much for your replies, they're so helpful.

I absolutely think you're right, he's more than likely picking up on my guilt and anxiety, he does tend to reflect my moods a bit.

Thank you again!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Video: Toddler not keen on clean-shaven dad

This little girl thought she was taking part in a standard game of peek-a-boo, but her dad had a surprise for her.

When will I feel like myself again?

At some point I became 'me' again, but not the same me that I was ... and that?s not a bad thing.

Our Watch: ending the national emergency of domestic violence

An ambitious new national initiative aims to address the "national emergency" of domestic violence across Australia.

Decrease in stillbirths in late pregnancy and older mums

There has been a fall in the number of stillbirths among some groups of women despite the overall rate remaining stable, a new report reveals.

My baby was permanently injured during birth

My baby was a few months old when we first heard the term ?brachial plexus birth injury? and the heart wrenching news that he may never gain full function of his arm.

Being a yo-yo mama is the rhythm of motherhood

A flip-flop happy-sad can occur in the same minute, the same second. And it continues forever, throughout a yo-yo mama's tenure, beginning with pregnancy.

Is it okay to ask for money instead of gifts?

First it was weddings. Then it was engagement parties. Now it seems christenings are following the trend of asking guests for money in lieu of gifts.

Crash testing new parenthood

The new documentary series Crash Test Mummies & Daddies takes a fly-on-the-wall look at the first months of life with a newborn.

Itching for a solution to eczema

Around 30 per cent of children live with eczema every day. A dad shares his son's story and gets advice from an expert.

Video: The challenges and joys of making new mum friends

This hilarious video shows how making new mum friends can be awkward - but reassures that it is possible.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Win a House of Magic prize pack

To celebrate the release of the new movie House of Magic, we have 10 double passes and magic sets to give away just in time for these school holidays. Enter Now for a chance to win!

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

'I wanted a heart over the i'

After naming her other daughter Princess Tiaamii, glamour model Katie Price needed a special name for her new baby.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.