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Do you think kids react to pregnancy?
5 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:12 PM
I'm so sorry if there's a better place to post this, I just thought a few of you might be in the same boat at the moment.
DS has just turned 2, and I am 34 weeks pregnant. We've been talking to DS about the baby and reading There's a House in Mummy's Tummy every now and then. He shows interest in and talks about the baby sometimes. We do take it easy with the talk about baby though so that he doesn't get overwhelmed, and by that I mean we don't talk about the baby during every convo with DS.
Over the last few weeks DS has become really clingy, this last week has been awful. I have to do everything for him (to the point where if he drops his drink bottle, I have to pick it up, he won't even pick it up himself). He's not hating DH, but he'd much prefer to be with me (on top of me, being held by me, all over me). He's beautiful and I am being very careful not to take this time for granted, but I'm getting a bit scared of what's to come... how on earth will I cope with DS like this and a new baby who has even more needs?!!
My questions are this:
Is this normal?
Is his clinginess likely because he senses something's happening soon?
How can we make this easier on DS?
Is there anything I absolutely shouldn't do (are there things that can just make the situation worse?)
I guess my hormones are making my mother's guilt much, much worse. I want to do the right thing by him, but at the same time I don't want to get to the point where I feel suffocated.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:38 AM
My DD 1 was just about 2 when DD2 was born. She did get clingy towards the end but i think that was because I was home from work and she did have more time with just me.
I just did everything for her and tried to enjoy the one on one time. Maybe just let him get that attention for now if you can.
When the baby arrived she had 2 hard days. She wanted everything the baby had and we just let her. E.g bottle, wrap, sit the in the capsule, swing etc. after the two days she got over it and her behaviour went to normal again and she was fine.
Don't stress too much he is still young and will adapt more quickly than older kids. I think it's the advantage of a closer age gap.
My DD2 is 3 now and we are expecting number 3 in a few weeks. I can see the changes in her are more obvious. She's asking for her cot back which she hasn't been in for a yr, she wants the babies clothes etc. we might be in for an interesting time
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:11 AM
I honestly think at that age they have no idea what is about to happen, not really. They just can't really imagine it, its so far beyond their experience. He may however be picking up on your guilt/emotional/hormonal state (very normal!).
His behaviour could also be just typical twos (molars perhaps?) rather than a reaction to the baby arriving.
One thing I'd say is that if you have talked about you going to the hospital, make sure you explain that you will be coming home again after the baby is born. I realised with DS1 that no one had actually explained that bit to him and that's why he was getting upset at times when we talked about the baby. When I explained that I'd come home again with the baby he was relieved!.
As for what not to do - don't stress "you are the big boy now" type stuff. That might just make it worse. As PP said if he wants to act like a baby at times let him, but when he does big boy things comment on how fun it is that he can do x,y,z now that he is bigger.
The guilt is hard but you are giving him a beautiful gift of a sibling. He may not see it that way for a little while but he will!!
Posted 28 January 2013 - 07:19 AM
We had the exact same thing with my son. I don't think they can grasp what is happening but they do understand something is going to happen and it's a little scary. I was really worried but in the end he took it all in his stride. He had no problem going to my mums and I actually think he was relieved when he came to the hospital and saw the baby. Once baby was home he went back to his old self.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:36 AM
I think it probably has more to do with the age and the nature of the child than the impending arrival as I think they are really too young to understand the fact that their lives are going to change.
Kay1 I think is right when she says that he may be picking up your anxiety about this change.....which is all normal from you of course.
None of mine ever had a negative reaction following the birth of a sibling but they all went through stages of being clingy and not quite themselves.
I hope all goes well OP, I am sure he will just love his new baby brother or sister.
Posted 29 January 2013 - 09:27 AM
Thank you all so much for your replies, they're so helpful.
I absolutely think you're right, he's more than likely picking up on my guilt and anxiety, he does tend to reflect my moods a bit.
Thank you again!
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