Jump to content

Siblings and playdates


  • Please log in to reply
39 replies to this topic

#1 Laveaender

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

So, I'm the mother of a singleton which means most of DD's friends have brothers and/or sisters. Often I'll invite one of her friends over or out to an activity and the parents of the friend will either send along one (or two or three) siblings or like today, say, "I'm sure you won't mind taking her brother along too" when we called a friend to go to the cinema. And yes, I do mind. I don't feel like having both, he's not DD's mate, the sister is, and although they're all friends of our family, sometimes I just don't want your extras.
Maybe I'm missing something or just not understanding because we have one, but is the onus on me to accept siblings or can I just say "Ah, no thanks just the one" in polite terms?

#2 RedGrape

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I have never sent an extra sibling on a play date! I would also be horrified to have an extra sibling turn up here without pre organising.

Edited by CheekyCat, 21 July 2013 - 11:35 AM.


#3 KnightsofNi

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

It is very rude of them to ask or assume you will take care of their sibling to. It would be different if the parent was staying to supervise.

#4 Peninsula Girl 74

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:19 PM

Yes, igree with you... Extra siblings a a big no no when heading out on a trip to the movies.




#5 LookMumNoHands

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:20 PM

How odd! I'd never send both kids to a play date intended for just the one child.

I think you have every right to politely say no  original.gif .

#6 Escapin

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:21 PM

Your friends are taking the p*ss. Time to put your foot down and/or get new friends.

#7 bebe12

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:22 PM

hi,

up till recently only had DD and have never had that situation.  We have once looked after a friend of DD's and her brother, but that was on a pupil free day that was organised well in advance and mother asked and paid for kids movie tickets.

Very rude if you ring and they push other sibling on you.

#8 tibs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:30 PM

They are taking advantage because you only have the one.  I have 3 of my own and that has never happened to me, logistics alone it would be too hard.  Actually I tell a lie, I did have someone dump a sibling at my son's $30 per head playcentre party and she threw a wobbly right there in front of all the other parents when I woudn't go along with it  glare.gif

#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:50 PM

You have rude friends. I have 3 girls and would never dream of dropping off extras

#10 Laveaender

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:53 PM

QUOTE
Time to put your foot down and/or get new friends.


Yeah, true dat. Both changes underway disguised as new years resolutions.

#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:54 PM

Double post

Edited by Julie3Girls, 27 January 2013 - 05:54 PM.


#12 tibs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:55 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 27/01/2013, 06:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have rude friends. I have 3 girls and would never dream of dropping off extras


Actually I dream of it and in my dreams it is great but I wouldn't actually do it  biggrin.gif

#13 cb2

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

I agree with all of the above
Your DD invites her friend(s) not her friends and siblings!!
It is rude to assume
It seems like you are a free babysitter!


#14 EsmeLennox

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

I have never had that experience. Just say no I reckon.

#15 CallMeProtart

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

You have rude friends.

#16 Carmie

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:15 PM

I have four and never send my other kids to a play date. I do take them all if we are going for a play date/mummy catch up.

I have had one of Kieleys friends been dropped off at a birthday party and her younger sibling was left too. I wasn't impressed, but I added an extra person to the party but I won't be inviting the little girl again to another party (wouldn't care so much if it was an at home party, which is sad as she is a good friend of both DD and DS1.

#17 JustBeige

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:23 PM

No, thats rude and you are being taken advantage of.

Time to say no, or to just organise play dates at a park so the other parent has to stay too.

#18 Beancat

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:30 PM

No its rude.  You friends are rude and taking advantag of you.  The problem is, when you say no, you'll be treated as the rude one.  i hate situatios like this - ie when other people's actions make you have to stand up for yourself and more often than not they they then get their nose out of joint.

I dont have any suggestions on how to tactfully tell them to back off but maybe something around not having enough car seats to transport them all safelym or just say you find it hard watching more than 2 kids as you are only used to 1

#19 Wahwah

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:31 PM

I know one person who thinks that a play date means both her kids. My son doesn't like the little brother and he's a bit of a brat too. We always feel pressured to take both kids.

More recently, I've just been much more pointed about only inviting the older kid. We started by saying that because my son was having 2 friends for a playdate we couldn't take the younger sibling in the car as well after school.

The mum makes snide comments about how little bro is feeling put out but I ignore it and change the subject.



#20 Phoenix Blue

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:37 PM

Wow, people will take both kids? I've been doing it wrong. I must drop off both my boys next time DS1 gets invited for a play date!

Seriously, who does that?

I actually hoped this thread would be about how to best handle inviting others over for play date, and the annoying little brother has to be involved/wreck everything. This is my main dilemma. Hoping it will be resolved this year when DS2 starts school and I can schedule play dates at the same time, or something...

#21 Peppery

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:41 PM

Yikes! DD is only 4 so looks like I have lots to look forward to.

Play date = friend, no brothers/sisters/cousins/neighbours best friends granddaughter as well

#22 PippityRoo

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:41 PM

DD1 has a friend who lives a few doors up. She goes over to play a fair bit. Sometimes DS (almost 4) will want to go too, and I'll let him follow her up there. But I do always text & check its ok with her mum first.

#23 JKTMum

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:49 PM

I never send more than has been invited. Sometimes we will invite siblings and sometimes my kids all get invited over to a family when one is more the friend, but the host is happy to have extras.

The other day both my girls were invited over to a friend of DD1's for a swim, DD2 on that ocassion didnt go only because she'd already been invited over to another of her friends (who also had a pool), but she knows the family and the younger siblings are also close. Another friend of DD2 has a younger sibling who really enjoys playing with the older girls. The next time we have the friend over we are intending to invite the younger girl too. It wont happen every time as the older ones like just being able to play by themselves, but I'm happy to have her over sometimes and the younger one gets excited that she is being included.

I dont think parents should expect their kids to all go because one has been invited, they need to understand that they wont always be included in a playdate, same as they wont be allowed to go to a birthday just because their sibling has been invited.

#24 mad madam mim

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

Seriously? that's just rude, if only one is invited then only one is sent.

#25 lovedupmumma

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:34 PM

QUOTE
I have four and never send my other kids to a play date. I do take them all if we are going for a play date/mummy catch up.


This is the only circumstance under which I would bring more than just the play date child, if I'm friends with the mum and am staying.

DS 1 & 2 do have friends who are brothers, each the same age and in the same class as my boys, and will be invited together for a play at their place occasionally. But this is at the instigation of their mum, I would never presume to dump them both on her, she already has 3 kids of her own!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Britain's youngest parents: mother 12, father 13

A 12-year-old schoolgirl and her 13-year-old boyfriend are believed to have become Britain?s youngest parents, after the birth of their baby girl earlier this week.

When Prince George met Bilby George

Prince George has met an Aussie marsupial named after him in his first official engagement in Australia.

Asphyxia link another piece of the SIDS puzzle

An Australian study has uncovered information which could lead to a better understanding of why babies die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Pregnant woman dies after doctor removes ovary instead of appendix

When a UK woman went to hospital suffering appendicitis, doctors mistakenly removed her healthy ovary - with tragic consequences.

The milestones I can't wait to celebrate

Nothing can beat the feeling of witnessing that first smile, first step and first word - but here's a list of 'firsts' I'm really looking forward to now.

How you develop in your baby's first year

Just as babies undergo rapid growth as they learn and change in their first year, we?re learning and changing quickly as parents, too. Don?t underestimate the developmental stages you go through when you have a baby.

Can you make your baby smarter even before birth?

A product new to Australia claims to help babies be born "as intelligent as possible", but not all experts agree on the benefits of educating babies while still in the womb.

How a mother's love helped unearth the skills of an autistic savant

Autistic savant Ping Lian Yeak, a prodigious artist who has had his work shown all over the world, couldn't have done it without the support and love of his proud mum.

Rescue dog Zoey and BFF Jasper star in adorable pics

Photographer, self-professed "crazy dog lady" and mum Grace Chon takes photos of rescue dog Zoey and her 10-month-old son Jasper together. The results are just too cute. See more on Instagram @thegracechon.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

A tiny heart: a baby?s death gives life to another

Simon Alexander Garcia lived only one brief hour. But somewhere, a little girl?s heart is beating today because of him.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Why is childbirth still such a pain?

The options given to women to help them cope in labour have barely changed in years.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win the brand new phil&teds vibe

Check out the good looking new release of the Vibe 3 and the Verve 4-wheeler inline strollers. To celebrate their release, we have a Vibe with double kit to give away.

Baby sleep

From birth to one year and beyond, read about baby sleep, soothing techniques, routines, and sleep school experiences.

Easter gifts for babies, no chocolate in sight!

If this is your little one?s first Easter you might want to mark the occasion with something a little extra special. Here are 10 Easter gift ideas, which won't harm little teeth.

7 tips for a kid-free trip, not a guilt trip

Although I?m jumping out of my skin to take my child-free holiday, I?m dreading the goodbye. But I?m determined to make the most of it without tarnishing it with guilt or sadness about leaving the kids.

Itchibubs: clothes for babies and toddlers with eczema

Parents of children who suffer from eczema will know only too well the scratching that occurs around the clock. A new clothing range aims to help make everyone more comfortable.

Ear piercing: what age is best?

What is it that shapes our opinions on what?s an 'appropriate' age for our children to get their ears pierced? Parents share their views on how young is too young when it comes to piercing.

Caring for kids helps grandmothers stay mentally alert

Looking after grandchildren can help grandmothers ward off brain disease - but it's also possible to get too much of a good thing, researchers say.

Why I loved my third home water birth

After two water births at home, I was determined to give birth to my son the same way. I just hoped this birth would be quicker than my last two.

Revealed: 7 ways food marketers try to trick consumers

If you?re confused by food labels, you?re not alone. Next time you?re shopping for food, look out for these seven common labelling tricks.

'My mother-in-law found out our baby's gender behind our backs'

My husband and I mutually decided that we didn?t want to know our baby's sex before the birth, but his mother couldn't handle that.

 

Free Printable Activities

Keeping little hands busy

Free printable acitivity pages like colouring in, cutting, word finders, mazes, maths activities and puzzles.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.