Jump to content

Siblings and playdates


  • Please log in to reply
39 replies to this topic

#1 Laveaender

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

So, I'm the mother of a singleton which means most of DD's friends have brothers and/or sisters. Often I'll invite one of her friends over or out to an activity and the parents of the friend will either send along one (or two or three) siblings or like today, say, "I'm sure you won't mind taking her brother along too" when we called a friend to go to the cinema. And yes, I do mind. I don't feel like having both, he's not DD's mate, the sister is, and although they're all friends of our family, sometimes I just don't want your extras.
Maybe I'm missing something or just not understanding because we have one, but is the onus on me to accept siblings or can I just say "Ah, no thanks just the one" in polite terms?

#2 Fancy*that

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I have never sent an extra sibling on a play date! I would also be horrified to have an extra sibling turn up here without pre organising.

Edited by CheekyCat, 21 July 2013 - 11:35 AM.


#3 KnightsofNi

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

It is very rude of them to ask or assume you will take care of their sibling to. It would be different if the parent was staying to supervise.

#4 Peninsula Girl 74

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:19 PM

Yes, igree with you... Extra siblings a a big no no when heading out on a trip to the movies.




#5 LookMumNoHands

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:20 PM

How odd! I'd never send both kids to a play date intended for just the one child.

I think you have every right to politely say no  original.gif .

#6 Escapin

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:21 PM

Your friends are taking the p*ss. Time to put your foot down and/or get new friends.

#7 bebe12

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:22 PM

hi,

up till recently only had DD and have never had that situation.  We have once looked after a friend of DD's and her brother, but that was on a pupil free day that was organised well in advance and mother asked and paid for kids movie tickets.

Very rude if you ring and they push other sibling on you.

#8 tibs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:30 PM

They are taking advantage because you only have the one.  I have 3 of my own and that has never happened to me, logistics alone it would be too hard.  Actually I tell a lie, I did have someone dump a sibling at my son's $30 per head playcentre party and she threw a wobbly right there in front of all the other parents when I woudn't go along with it  glare.gif

#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:50 PM

You have rude friends. I have 3 girls and would never dream of dropping off extras

#10 Laveaender

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:53 PM

QUOTE
Time to put your foot down and/or get new friends.


Yeah, true dat. Both changes underway disguised as new years resolutions.

#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:54 PM

Double post

Edited by Julie3Girls, 27 January 2013 - 05:54 PM.


#12 tibs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:55 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 27/01/2013, 06:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have rude friends. I have 3 girls and would never dream of dropping off extras


Actually I dream of it and in my dreams it is great but I wouldn't actually do it  biggrin.gif

#13 cb2

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

I agree with all of the above
Your DD invites her friend(s) not her friends and siblings!!
It is rude to assume
It seems like you are a free babysitter!


#14 EsmeLennox

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

I have never had that experience. Just say no I reckon.

#15 CallMeFeral

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

You have rude friends.

#16 Carmie

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:15 PM

I have four and never send my other kids to a play date. I do take them all if we are going for a play date/mummy catch up.

I have had one of Kieleys friends been dropped off at a birthday party and her younger sibling was left too. I wasn't impressed, but I added an extra person to the party but I won't be inviting the little girl again to another party (wouldn't care so much if it was an at home party, which is sad as she is a good friend of both DD and DS1.

#17 JustBeige

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:23 PM

No, thats rude and you are being taken advantage of.

Time to say no, or to just organise play dates at a park so the other parent has to stay too.

#18 Beancat

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:30 PM

No its rude.  You friends are rude and taking advantag of you.  The problem is, when you say no, you'll be treated as the rude one.  i hate situatios like this - ie when other people's actions make you have to stand up for yourself and more often than not they they then get their nose out of joint.

I dont have any suggestions on how to tactfully tell them to back off but maybe something around not having enough car seats to transport them all safelym or just say you find it hard watching more than 2 kids as you are only used to 1

#19 Wahwah

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:31 PM

I know one person who thinks that a play date means both her kids. My son doesn't like the little brother and he's a bit of a brat too. We always feel pressured to take both kids.

More recently, I've just been much more pointed about only inviting the older kid. We started by saying that because my son was having 2 friends for a playdate we couldn't take the younger sibling in the car as well after school.

The mum makes snide comments about how little bro is feeling put out but I ignore it and change the subject.



#20 Phoenix Blue

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:37 PM

Wow, people will take both kids? I've been doing it wrong. I must drop off both my boys next time DS1 gets invited for a play date!

Seriously, who does that?

I actually hoped this thread would be about how to best handle inviting others over for play date, and the annoying little brother has to be involved/wreck everything. This is my main dilemma. Hoping it will be resolved this year when DS2 starts school and I can schedule play dates at the same time, or something...

#21 Peppery

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:41 PM

Yikes! DD is only 4 so looks like I have lots to look forward to.

Play date = friend, no brothers/sisters/cousins/neighbours best friends granddaughter as well

#22 lactasticmama

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:41 PM

DD1 has a friend who lives a few doors up. She goes over to play a fair bit. Sometimes DS (almost 4) will want to go too, and I'll let him follow her up there. But I do always text & check its ok with her mum first.

#23 JKTMum

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:49 PM

I never send more than has been invited. Sometimes we will invite siblings and sometimes my kids all get invited over to a family when one is more the friend, but the host is happy to have extras.

The other day both my girls were invited over to a friend of DD1's for a swim, DD2 on that ocassion didnt go only because she'd already been invited over to another of her friends (who also had a pool), but she knows the family and the younger siblings are also close. Another friend of DD2 has a younger sibling who really enjoys playing with the older girls. The next time we have the friend over we are intending to invite the younger girl too. It wont happen every time as the older ones like just being able to play by themselves, but I'm happy to have her over sometimes and the younger one gets excited that she is being included.

I dont think parents should expect their kids to all go because one has been invited, they need to understand that they wont always be included in a playdate, same as they wont be allowed to go to a birthday just because their sibling has been invited.

#24 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

Seriously? that's just rude, if only one is invited then only one is sent.

#25 lovedupmumma

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:34 PM

QUOTE
I have four and never send my other kids to a play date. I do take them all if we are going for a play date/mummy catch up.


This is the only circumstance under which I would bring more than just the play date child, if I'm friends with the mum and am staying.

DS 1 & 2 do have friends who are brothers, each the same age and in the same class as my boys, and will be invited together for a play at their place occasionally. But this is at the instigation of their mum, I would never presume to dump them both on her, she already has 3 kids of her own!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN a $500 Visa debit card

Are you a parent? Simply take our survey for your chance to win a $500 pre-paid VISA debit card.

Dads' smoking before conception increases asthma risk

Fathers who smoke are more likely to have children with asthma even if they quit the habit before their baby is conceived, according to new research.

#birthjusthappened: the photos changing the way we see labour

There's no doubt that post-birth photos can have a powerful effect on women. But are they enough to change the way pregnant women feel about their own impending labours?

Tips for roadtripping with a baby

Techniques that served me well as a baby-free traveller have been rendered useles - but here’s how you can make this season’s road trips smoother than your newborn’s skin.

Gluten and nut-free lunchboxes made easy

Traditionally, packed lunches are packed with gluten (think breads, wraps and biscuits). One mum has created a gluten and nut-free solution.

Is this the new royal baby's name?

This traditional girl's name is the favourite among punters in Britain.

6 creative ways to save childhood memories

For some parents, recording facts like their child’s first word, first tooth and first steps isn’t enough. They’re taking memory collections to the next level.

Breastfeeding mum escorted off plane

Virgin Australia has come under fire after a breastfeeding mum and her 10-month-old son were escorted off a flight.

If toddlers gave performance reviews

Hello there, Mummy. I've been looking forward to this meeting for a while now. Overall, I'd like to say that you've been a great addition to the team so far. You've really been working your tail off. So, kudos to you.

A sweet proposal video worth watching

'The Special Proposal' tells the story of Salvatore asking his girlfriend Caterina a big question.

Why is it taboo for women to breastfeed each other's babies?

Why is the idea of nursing someone else's baby so socially unacceptable?

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, we are giving away five DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Genetic 'miracle baby' born after trailblazing IVF

A new method that screens embryos for more than 200 disorders is already making dreams come true.

Mum-of-three's bikini body inspiration

Rachel Hollis wanted to share a photo of herself in a bikini to encourage other mums to be proud of their bodies.

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Adopting a child in or out of Australia is far from simple

Australians have wildly different experiences on their journeys to adopting children.

Breastfeeding doesn't make you a better mum - feeding your baby does

Given my immense dislike of Hopkins and her opinions, I was genuinely shocked to discover that last week she actually said something that I agreed with.

'Toni, another baby has died': the anguish of watching governments fail our babies

It has been six years since whooping cough claimed the life of four-week-old Dana McCaffery. Her parents are angry that lessons learnt weren't enough to save other babies.

Longer breastfeeding linked to higher IQ

A study of 3500 infants has found that babies who are breastfed grow up to be more intelligent and wealthy.

The 2015 flu vaccine: what's new, who should get it

For certain members of the community, catching flu can lead to severe illness or death. A vaccination can be lifesaving.

Dealing with a nappy escape artist

I hear about the tots that have a penchant for ripping their nappies off and the odd one that even smears the brown stuff on the walls and fine home furnishings, and I shudder.

Hospital apologises for 'traumatising' baby mix-up

St Vincent's Hospital has apologised "unreservedly" for a baby mix-up that left one new mum traumatised.

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Sign up to our 30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Sign up to receive 30 amazing tips and ideas for play with baby during the month of April and submit a picture or tip on our social wall for a chance to win an amazing Fisher-Price prize pack.

Tips for flying with a baby

Travelling with kids requires a whole other set of skills - ones that I have learned through (sometimes unfortunate) trial and error.

How to stay calm in an emergency

I’m not expecting you to be as calm as you might be right now. What I mean is that if your panic levels are through the roof during a stressful situation, let’s bring them down to just under the ceiling.

Toddler gets 'drunk' after cranberry juice mix-up

A toddler was taken to hospital after a waitress served her sangria instead of cranberry juice at a US restaurant.

We need to stop using this word when we talk about childbirth

Is it shaming to point out that women are often being let down in birth?

The certificate helping parents deal with pregnancy loss

For some people, this certificate will offer a sense of validation that their child was acknowledged as being here and now gone, and will help them with life post-loss.

The phenomenon of phantom pregnancy kicks

'Phantom pregnancy kicks’ are encountered by many mums months - or even years - after their pregnancy is over.

The health insurance advice you can't afford to ignore

There's one simple switch that could save you hundreds of dollars a year in private health insurance.

4D scans show how smoking affects babies still in the womb

The harmful effects of smoking during pregnancy on unborn babies may be seen in tiny movements in their faces using 4D ultrasound scans, research has found.

The most dangerous toddler food trends

Pete Evans' paleo cookbook for kids caused a storm, but there are plenty of other unsafe food trends for babies and toddlers.

Infection killed new mum of twins

Modern medicine could not save 19-year-old Sophie Burgess who died 48 hours after giving birth to twins in the UK.

How to babyproof your job interview

Once upon a time, I was a fan of job interviews. That all changed after I'd switched careers, had a baby and decided to spend the first year at home with her.

Grieving families give warnings after toddler deaths

Two Queensland families are grieving the loss of their toddler sons after the boys drowned in separate incidents last week.

Man faces jail after giving woman abortion pill smoothie

A Norwegian man is facing jail after putting abortion pills in his ex-girlfriend's smoothie, causing her to have a miscarriage.

'He's a blessing': family of baby born without eyes

Jordy Jackson was born without eyes. He has anophthalmia, which affects one in every 100,000 babies born.

Win one of 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers

With Easter fast approaching, Cadbury are giving away 5 Cadbury Easter Hampers. Enter Now!

Super fit model Sarah Stage defends her pregnancy body

Model Sarah Stage has defended her pregnancy body after critics claimed her slim figure at eight-and-a-half months pregnant wasn't "normal".

Win a Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and Peppa Pig prize pack

To celebrate the April 1 release of Holly's Magic Wand on DVD and Digital, Essential Baby and Entertainment One are giving away five bumper DVD packs featuring the newest installment of Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom Holly's Magic Wand and many more hours of family entertainment! Enter Now!

Why I post breastfeeding photos online

I love to take pictures of my children. In some of the pictures, my younger son is nursing.

The day I broke my baby

There are things I wish I didn't know. I wish I didn't know that companies make tiny braces, small enough to hold necks no bigger than a wrist.

Geeky baby gear

If your family is more into Star Wars, gaming and the periodic table than most, you might want to check out these geek-chic baby items.

Grandbabies: the babies born looking old

Not a day under 65 and a lifetime of struggle! That's the look of these newborns, who look adorably older than their real age. Social networking site Reddit recently featured user submissions of adorable grandbabies, here are our favourites.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Sign up now!

30 days of #PlayIQ challenge

Receive a daily email from Essential Baby during April with great play tips and ideas, then submit your baby at play photos to our Playwall, Instagram or Twitter for your chance to win.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.