Jump to content

Siblings and playdates


  • Please log in to reply
39 replies to this topic

#1 Laveaender

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

So, I'm the mother of a singleton which means most of DD's friends have brothers and/or sisters. Often I'll invite one of her friends over or out to an activity and the parents of the friend will either send along one (or two or three) siblings or like today, say, "I'm sure you won't mind taking her brother along too" when we called a friend to go to the cinema. And yes, I do mind. I don't feel like having both, he's not DD's mate, the sister is, and although they're all friends of our family, sometimes I just don't want your extras.
Maybe I'm missing something or just not understanding because we have one, but is the onus on me to accept siblings or can I just say "Ah, no thanks just the one" in polite terms?

#2 Fancy*that

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I have never sent an extra sibling on a play date! I would also be horrified to have an extra sibling turn up here without pre organising.

Edited by CheekyCat, 21 July 2013 - 11:35 AM.


#3 KnightsofNi

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

It is very rude of them to ask or assume you will take care of their sibling to. It would be different if the parent was staying to supervise.

#4 Peninsula Girl 74

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:19 PM

Yes, igree with you... Extra siblings a a big no no when heading out on a trip to the movies.




#5 LookMumNoHands

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:20 PM

How odd! I'd never send both kids to a play date intended for just the one child.

I think you have every right to politely say no  original.gif .

#6 Escapin

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:21 PM

Your friends are taking the p*ss. Time to put your foot down and/or get new friends.

#7 bebe12

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:22 PM

hi,

up till recently only had DD and have never had that situation.  We have once looked after a friend of DD's and her brother, but that was on a pupil free day that was organised well in advance and mother asked and paid for kids movie tickets.

Very rude if you ring and they push other sibling on you.

#8 tibs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:30 PM

They are taking advantage because you only have the one.  I have 3 of my own and that has never happened to me, logistics alone it would be too hard.  Actually I tell a lie, I did have someone dump a sibling at my son's $30 per head playcentre party and she threw a wobbly right there in front of all the other parents when I woudn't go along with it  glare.gif

#9 Julie3Girls

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:50 PM

You have rude friends. I have 3 girls and would never dream of dropping off extras

#10 Laveaender

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:53 PM

QUOTE
Time to put your foot down and/or get new friends.


Yeah, true dat. Both changes underway disguised as new years resolutions.

#11 Julie3Girls

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:54 PM

Double post

Edited by Julie3Girls, 27 January 2013 - 05:54 PM.


#12 tibs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:55 PM

QUOTE (Julie3Girls @ 27/01/2013, 06:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have rude friends. I have 3 girls and would never dream of dropping off extras


Actually I dream of it and in my dreams it is great but I wouldn't actually do it  biggrin.gif

#13 cb2

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:56 PM

I agree with all of the above
Your DD invites her friend(s) not her friends and siblings!!
It is rude to assume
It seems like you are a free babysitter!


#14 EsmeLennox

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

I have never had that experience. Just say no I reckon.

#15 CallMeFeral

Posted 27 January 2013 - 05:57 PM

You have rude friends.

#16 Carmie

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:15 PM

I have four and never send my other kids to a play date. I do take them all if we are going for a play date/mummy catch up.

I have had one of Kieleys friends been dropped off at a birthday party and her younger sibling was left too. I wasn't impressed, but I added an extra person to the party but I won't be inviting the little girl again to another party (wouldn't care so much if it was an at home party, which is sad as she is a good friend of both DD and DS1.

#17 JustBeige

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:23 PM

No, thats rude and you are being taken advantage of.

Time to say no, or to just organise play dates at a park so the other parent has to stay too.

#18 Beancat

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:30 PM

No its rude.  You friends are rude and taking advantag of you.  The problem is, when you say no, you'll be treated as the rude one.  i hate situatios like this - ie when other people's actions make you have to stand up for yourself and more often than not they they then get their nose out of joint.

I dont have any suggestions on how to tactfully tell them to back off but maybe something around not having enough car seats to transport them all safelym or just say you find it hard watching more than 2 kids as you are only used to 1

#19 Wahwah

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:31 PM

I know one person who thinks that a play date means both her kids. My son doesn't like the little brother and he's a bit of a brat too. We always feel pressured to take both kids.

More recently, I've just been much more pointed about only inviting the older kid. We started by saying that because my son was having 2 friends for a playdate we couldn't take the younger sibling in the car as well after school.

The mum makes snide comments about how little bro is feeling put out but I ignore it and change the subject.



#20 Phoenix Blue

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:37 PM

Wow, people will take both kids? I've been doing it wrong. I must drop off both my boys next time DS1 gets invited for a play date!

Seriously, who does that?

I actually hoped this thread would be about how to best handle inviting others over for play date, and the annoying little brother has to be involved/wreck everything. This is my main dilemma. Hoping it will be resolved this year when DS2 starts school and I can schedule play dates at the same time, or something...

#21 Peppery

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:41 PM

Yikes! DD is only 4 so looks like I have lots to look forward to.

Play date = friend, no brothers/sisters/cousins/neighbours best friends granddaughter as well

#22 lactasticmama

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:41 PM

DD1 has a friend who lives a few doors up. She goes over to play a fair bit. Sometimes DS (almost 4) will want to go too, and I'll let him follow her up there. But I do always text & check its ok with her mum first.

#23 JKTMum

Posted 27 January 2013 - 06:49 PM

I never send more than has been invited. Sometimes we will invite siblings and sometimes my kids all get invited over to a family when one is more the friend, but the host is happy to have extras.

The other day both my girls were invited over to a friend of DD1's for a swim, DD2 on that ocassion didnt go only because she'd already been invited over to another of her friends (who also had a pool), but she knows the family and the younger siblings are also close. Another friend of DD2 has a younger sibling who really enjoys playing with the older girls. The next time we have the friend over we are intending to invite the younger girl too. It wont happen every time as the older ones like just being able to play by themselves, but I'm happy to have her over sometimes and the younger one gets excited that she is being included.

I dont think parents should expect their kids to all go because one has been invited, they need to understand that they wont always be included in a playdate, same as they wont be allowed to go to a birthday just because their sibling has been invited.

#24 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:26 PM

Seriously? that's just rude, if only one is invited then only one is sent.

#25 lovedupmumma

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:34 PM

QUOTE
I have four and never send my other kids to a play date. I do take them all if we are going for a play date/mummy catch up.


This is the only circumstance under which I would bring more than just the play date child, if I'm friends with the mum and am staying.

DS 1 & 2 do have friends who are brothers, each the same age and in the same class as my boys, and will be invited together for a play at their place occasionally. But this is at the instigation of their mum, I would never presume to dump them both on her, she already has 3 kids of her own!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Clever panda fakes pregnancy

News that a giant panda was pregnant prompted much excitement, but it appears there were never any cubs on the way.

'I survived placenta percreta'

When writing her birth plan, Simone Pavil included an item most women wouldn?t even think about: what should happen if she was put on life support. The mum had the potentially fatal condition placenta accreta.

Managing personal space as a mum

In the midst of the early parenting years, our bodies and minds can seemingly be overtaken by our offspring. How can we balance our need for personal space with the needs of our children?

'If love could have saved you, you'd have never left'

The words "spontaneous abortion" on the hospital paperwork really got to me. My baby died; I didn't spontaneously decide to abort him.

15 classic Aussie ads

Watch some of the classic Australian ads of the 80s, 90s and 00s, and remember the catchphrases and jingles we all used to know so well ...

For and against

Should Blue Ivy have been at the VMAs?

Many were quick to condemn Beyonce and Jay Z after appearing on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards with their two-year-old daughter, but others thought it was a sweet family moment. What do you think?

Toddler attacked at gym creche

Two-year-old girl Eva Ness was left with a black eye and bite marks on her face and body after an altercation with an older child at a health club's child-minding facilities. Now her parents are calling for the centre to be closed.

Pregnancy a tricky matter of timing for FIFO couples

Manipulating rosters, coordinating 'conjugal' visits, working on site with your partner; getting pregnant can prove stressful for FIFO workers.

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Carseats have twice as many germs as a toilet

Most parents know their child's carseat is not always squeaky clean, but they might not realise just how dirty it really is.

Doctors remove foetus from 'medical marvel' after 36 years

Doctors in India have removed the skeleton of a foetus that had been inside a woman for 36 years.

Nine months in six seconds: new parents' Vine clip a hit

We?ve seen some memorable time-lapse pregnancy and birth announcement videos before. Now one new couple has taken it to the extreme, capturing it all in just a six-second Vine video.

Sonia Kruger speaks of baby joy

Celebrity mum-to-be Sonia Kruger has spoken candidly about using donor eggs and IVF to fall pregnant at age 48.

Dressing to not impress: life through the eyes of a three-year-old

When it comes to getting dressed, my three-year-old has only one criterion: ?I don?t want to look beautiful.? And now I've worked out why.

Special nappies made with love for angel babies

Angel Baby Nappies make and provide tiny bereavement cloth nappies for pre-term stillborn babies and premature babies who pass away in the NICU.

Inside the brain of a tantruming toddler

What's going on in your child's mind in the lead-up to a tantrum? And what?s the best way to respond?

5 secrets to a long-lasting relationship

When it comes to keeping your relationship strong, it?s what you do - and not what you want - that really matters.

When 'furbabies' meet real babies

I am obsessed with my dogs, and can't imagine loving them any less once my baby arrives. But that doesn't stop everyone from telling me I will.

The least popular baby names of 2013

Looking for a baby name that?s nowhere near the top 10 ? or even the top 1000? Try the bottom five.

'I was so sleep deprived I crashed my car'

There are no laws regulating driving while tired, but statistics show that driver fatigue is one of the top three contributors to the road toll.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

WIN a $100 RedBalloon for Dad

Enter now for your chance to win 1 of 5 $100 RedBalloon experience vouchers. Helping you make Dad's Day EXTRA HAPPY.

Win back some precious time and get FREE coupons

Membership to eBay's Bubs? Corner is free and includes a $10 coupon to spend on nappies each month - a win for multitasking mums!

Do you suffer from Precious Firstborn Syndrome?

Testing ?no more tears? shampoo in your own eyes, warming cucumber sticks so they're not cold straight from the fridge, waking a sleeping baby to check they?re still breathing: these are all symptoms of Precious Firstborn Syndrome.

Ezra's tragic death not in vain, mum says

Little Ezra was a "Harry Houdini" who loved trying to escape the family home. Now, after his tragic death, his parents are doing what they can to help others.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

Video: When adults act like children

Ever wondered what would happen if adults were allowed to act like children? This dad's hilarious video clip will give you an idea of what life would be like.

Mums hit hardest as flu cases skyrocket

The number of confirmed cases of influenza in Australia has doubled the number for the same time last year - and women are 25 per cent more likely to get it.

The mum who had four babies in nine months

Feeling exhausted due to the demands of caring for a baby? Imagine the life of this mum, who gave birth to three boys and one girl in just nine months.

Everything baby at Big W

Lowest prices on everything baby, only at Big W. Sale starts August 4 and ends August 20 2014.

Going viral

Weirdest pregnancy products

From pee stick keepers to stylish sick bags, there are some very strange inventions out there for pregnant women.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Mind, body, beauty, life

Making time for me

We look at your wellbeing, covering health, relationships, beauty and fashion, mind and body.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.