Jump to content

How different did you feel when TTC #2 (or more)

  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 SplashingRainbows

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

We are thinking about TTC # 2 soon and I'm feeling so differently about the whole process this time around.

We know we want two children but the experience is definitely different - first time around I was so excited and blissfully unaware of the realities of life with a baby. Second time around has been delayed much longer than we ever thought until I could get my head around doing it all again (despite loving our son and wanting another, parenting has been much harder than I expected).

Did you find it harder to get excited about # 2 (or more)? Am I just a lonely pessimist?

Will it be more exciting when there is a BFP?

I hope this doesn't come out wrong - we definitely want a second child - the emotions and thought processes just seem so different this time around.

#2 erindiv

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:33 PM

I was a lot more casual about it. I was surprised that I got my BFP less than 4 weeks after going off the OCP, but it wasn't the same excitement as my first. With my first I was shaking and crying and all that. With my second it was just a smile and a few phone calls. My doctor was surprised I didn't go in to see her until I was 8 weeks along because she said usually people are in there the day after their BFP wanting scans etc. I wasn't in a hurry because I knew there was nothing to do until my bloods at 10 weeks biggrin.gif

It would be different for everyone.

#3 Beancat

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

I think it depends on the circumstances surrounding the conception.

For me it was completely different.  Number 1 and number 3 were not planned, so there was no notion of even TTC.  Number 2 was completely planned and we were so excited to be planning for another baby, however it took us four goes (lost three) to get our beautiful daughter.  So we really only had one journey as such TTC between the three of them and it was long, emotional and finally exciting when we knew she was going to stay with us.

#4 SplashingRainbows

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:42 PM

I can relate to that Erin.

Beancat that is a good point. I'm sorry to hear of your losses.

#5 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:41 PM

It was different with us as we needed help getting pregnant, I was worried the longer it took, with DS1 we fell pregnant on my first cycle of clomid, but when TTC #2 the clomid no longer worked, so I was starting to really worry about what our next step would be. Excitement wise I can't really remember, I think they were both about the same, I remember jumping up and down and shaking both times when I found out I was pregnant, DH was really sick and in hospital when I found out I was pg with DS2 and DD so we were really happy when it happened as it meant we didn't have to put the next cycle on hold while he recovered.

#6 Taystee

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

I am nearly 5 weeks pregnant with number 2 and am yet to be "excited"... I really want this baby but I feel much more disconnected than I did last time!

#7 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:57 PM

DS was a one hit wonder and I fell pregnant first month of trying. Wasn't tracking or trying very hard. Big shock when it happened straight away.

This one took 6 months and one early miscarriage to conceive, I was using opks and completely obssessed with falling pregnant. Now that I am pregnant I'm not particularly excited. I have days where I barely remember I'm pregnant at all.

I had an early gender scan a couple of days ago and am slightly more excited now that I know the gender as it feels more real.

#8 greenthumbs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:07 PM

We're looking at trying for a second later this year, and the idea kind of terrifies me. Same as you I think OP, just nervous thinking about all the hard work.

I loved having a newborn and found it easy, but toddlerhood is proving very difficult at times and the thought of a toddler and a newborn? nno.gif Scary stuff!

Good luck!

#9 Shadowess

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:11 PM

All my pregnancies were planned, but the excitment wasn't the same with 2 and 3, as it was with the first. With my 2nd, which ended in a m/c, even though it was a planned and wanted baby, it just never felt right, from the start... I wonder whether somehow I knew that things weren't going to go well. With my third pregnancy, I was desperate to fall pregnant again, and was totally obsessed with charting, and having weekly acupunture and well timed bd'ing. In the end, it only took 2 cycles to fall pregnant, once I'd recovered from the m/c.

TBH, I was a bit ho hum about the whole pregnancy, but as soon as she was born, and I saw her, I was totally smitten with her. I bonded with her a lot more easily than I did with DD1, when I was a lot more excited by the pregnancy.

#10 Spa Gonk

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:15 PM

Whilst I was very aware of the difficulties of a baby, I actually found being pregnant really exciting.  I probably did have the initial 'what have I done' type thoughts, but I probably had these with my first too.  Baby brain had me forgetting lots of what happened the first time  around anyway.  And it was actually easier to be relaxed and not worry.  I was quite surprised that I did find subsequent pregnancies just as exciting.

I have 3 and my youngest is a baby.  I am actually so in awe of the baby's milestones, it is like I have totally forgetten when and how my other children did them.

#11 nicknick

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:18 PM

Both of my children are IVF bub's so the process/conception for me was much the same but I will say that I agree I had a different level of excitement with my 1st. I agree in think you are less knowing about the months ahead and reality of how crap sleepless nights are. But now having both of them I can't imagine not having my DD for a moment, particularly as she approaches 1 and is full of personality & curiosity about her little life.

Yes having her wasn't the same as having DS but actually knowing what I am doing this time around and enjoying her more has been so rewarding. I definitely feel like a better mum this time around.

Edited by nicknick, 27 January 2013 - 09:24 PM.

#12 lozoodle

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:08 AM

I was nervous as i had some ridiculous idea in my head that it was mean to dd1 and spent a lot of time worrying about her when i need not have.

I soon realised after her birth how silly it was.

With number three ive been less enthused the whole time as the whole pregnancy thing is just tedious now, i feel like ive spent most of the last five years pregnant or ttc and am over it. I am so excited about my baby though!!!

#13 Pssst...

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:42 AM

The first time I was excited about TTC because it was finally happening. And the second time I was just as excited because I loved being pregnant so much I couldn't wait to do it again (call me crazy, plenty of people do! biggrin.gif)

And both BFPs had me jumping up and down and squealing.

The only difference was I didn't do any charting/OPKs etc when TTC the first time but I did the second time. My cycles had gone from being perfectly predictable before DD1 to being all over the place so I needed some help with the planning.

DD2 is only 7 weeks but I'm already thinking ahead to when we can TTC#3. Just have to convince DH!

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


First look at Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones's Baby

Bridget is now in her 40s and is a successful publishing executive - but also has a pregnancy to contend with as well.

Newlyweds send bill to no-show guests

Planning a wedding can be stressful – and, as most newlyweds can attest, it can be very costly, too.

Claire Danes: acting out postnatal depression was difficult

Actress Claire Danes found it difficult pretending to have postnatal depression in Homeland, as she had just become a new mother herself.

Sneak peek: Geleeo self-cooling pram & high chair liners

We just spotted Geleeo, a brand new self-cooling pram liner you can buy in time for summer.

The moment a 92-year-old meets her great grandaughter

It's a heart-warming photo this family will treasure forever.

How to prepare for breastfeeding when you're still pregnant

While every woman's breastfeeding journey is different, many hurdles are shared. Knowing what to expect will enable you to make informed decisions if - or when - you meet challenges along the way.

Sneak peek: new Love Mae bamboo dinnerware designs

We do love ourselves some brand new designs in tried and true products. The renowned bamboo dinnerware from Love Mae has just had several more members join the family, in addition to a brand new website.

Mum who killed paedophile gets reduced sentence

A mother-of-five who killed a paedophile has had her jail sentence reduced by a judge who described her case as a "truly exceptional" one.

Toddler's silent debate with mum about naptime

He might not utter a single word - but this toddler is having a great debate with his mother about nap time.

Silence is golden ... or is it?

Silence is golden, or so the saying goes. But when it comes to children, quite the opposite is true.

Awards 2015: Vote now for a chance to win $2000

Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.

Scientists identify potential birth control 'pill' for men

Two drugs that help suppress the immune system in organ transplant patients may have a future as the long-sought birth control "pill" for men, new research suggests.

Running for beginners: taking the first steps

It's that time of year when the weather warms up and there's more opportunity to get out and go for a jog.

Tips for turning yourself into a morning person

Mornings are a great time to spend time in reflection or to get outside and get moving.

Thousands sign petition for unborn babies killed by domestic violence

Almost 8000 people have signed a petition calling for a law to recognise unborn babies killed by domestic violence in NSW.

Pregnant Sarah Harris tells body-shamers to 'get stuffed'

Television presenter Sarah Harris has a message for anyone who tries to body-shame pregnant women or new mums.

In defence of 'brexting'

Mums spend literally hours a day with a baby attached to their boob, or giving them a bottle. Surely they don't all need to be spent looking at the baby?

How a fellow passenger made a mum's day on a flight

As any parent who has ever travelled with a baby knows it can be a daunting experience. The stares and attitude of unsympathetic fellow travellers only serve to make the journey even more stressful. 


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



What are your favourite baby products?

The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.