Jump to content

How different did you feel when TTC #2 (or more)

  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 SplashingRainbows

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

We are thinking about TTC # 2 soon and I'm feeling so differently about the whole process this time around.

We know we want two children but the experience is definitely different - first time around I was so excited and blissfully unaware of the realities of life with a baby. Second time around has been delayed much longer than we ever thought until I could get my head around doing it all again (despite loving our son and wanting another, parenting has been much harder than I expected).

Did you find it harder to get excited about # 2 (or more)? Am I just a lonely pessimist?

Will it be more exciting when there is a BFP?

I hope this doesn't come out wrong - we definitely want a second child - the emotions and thought processes just seem so different this time around.

#2 erindiv

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:33 PM

I was a lot more casual about it. I was surprised that I got my BFP less than 4 weeks after going off the OCP, but it wasn't the same excitement as my first. With my first I was shaking and crying and all that. With my second it was just a smile and a few phone calls. My doctor was surprised I didn't go in to see her until I was 8 weeks along because she said usually people are in there the day after their BFP wanting scans etc. I wasn't in a hurry because I knew there was nothing to do until my bloods at 10 weeks biggrin.gif

It would be different for everyone.

#3 Beancat

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:37 PM

I think it depends on the circumstances surrounding the conception.

For me it was completely different.  Number 1 and number 3 were not planned, so there was no notion of even TTC.  Number 2 was completely planned and we were so excited to be planning for another baby, however it took us four goes (lost three) to get our beautiful daughter.  So we really only had one journey as such TTC between the three of them and it was long, emotional and finally exciting when we knew she was going to stay with us.

#4 SplashingRainbows

Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:42 PM

I can relate to that Erin.

Beancat that is a good point. I'm sorry to hear of your losses.

#5 Feral Madam Mim

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:41 PM

It was different with us as we needed help getting pregnant, I was worried the longer it took, with DS1 we fell pregnant on my first cycle of clomid, but when TTC #2 the clomid no longer worked, so I was starting to really worry about what our next step would be. Excitement wise I can't really remember, I think they were both about the same, I remember jumping up and down and shaking both times when I found out I was pregnant, DH was really sick and in hospital when I found out I was pg with DS2 and DD so we were really happy when it happened as it meant we didn't have to put the next cycle on hold while he recovered.

#6 Taystee

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:47 PM

I am nearly 5 weeks pregnant with number 2 and am yet to be "excited"... I really want this baby but I feel much more disconnected than I did last time!

#7 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:57 PM

DS was a one hit wonder and I fell pregnant first month of trying. Wasn't tracking or trying very hard. Big shock when it happened straight away.

This one took 6 months and one early miscarriage to conceive, I was using opks and completely obssessed with falling pregnant. Now that I am pregnant I'm not particularly excited. I have days where I barely remember I'm pregnant at all.

I had an early gender scan a couple of days ago and am slightly more excited now that I know the gender as it feels more real.

#8 greenthumbs

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:07 PM

We're looking at trying for a second later this year, and the idea kind of terrifies me. Same as you I think OP, just nervous thinking about all the hard work.

I loved having a newborn and found it easy, but toddlerhood is proving very difficult at times and the thought of a toddler and a newborn? nno.gif Scary stuff!

Good luck!

#9 Shadowess

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:11 PM

All my pregnancies were planned, but the excitment wasn't the same with 2 and 3, as it was with the first. With my 2nd, which ended in a m/c, even though it was a planned and wanted baby, it just never felt right, from the start... I wonder whether somehow I knew that things weren't going to go well. With my third pregnancy, I was desperate to fall pregnant again, and was totally obsessed with charting, and having weekly acupunture and well timed bd'ing. In the end, it only took 2 cycles to fall pregnant, once I'd recovered from the m/c.

TBH, I was a bit ho hum about the whole pregnancy, but as soon as she was born, and I saw her, I was totally smitten with her. I bonded with her a lot more easily than I did with DD1, when I was a lot more excited by the pregnancy.

#10 Spa Gonk

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:15 PM

Whilst I was very aware of the difficulties of a baby, I actually found being pregnant really exciting.  I probably did have the initial 'what have I done' type thoughts, but I probably had these with my first too.  Baby brain had me forgetting lots of what happened the first time  around anyway.  And it was actually easier to be relaxed and not worry.  I was quite surprised that I did find subsequent pregnancies just as exciting.

I have 3 and my youngest is a baby.  I am actually so in awe of the baby's milestones, it is like I have totally forgetten when and how my other children did them.

#11 nicknick

Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:18 PM

Both of my children are IVF bub's so the process/conception for me was much the same but I will say that I agree I had a different level of excitement with my 1st. I agree in think you are less knowing about the months ahead and reality of how crap sleepless nights are. But now having both of them I can't imagine not having my DD for a moment, particularly as she approaches 1 and is full of personality & curiosity about her little life.

Yes having her wasn't the same as having DS but actually knowing what I am doing this time around and enjoying her more has been so rewarding. I definitely feel like a better mum this time around.

Edited by nicknick, 27 January 2013 - 09:24 PM.

#12 lozoodle

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:08 AM

I was nervous as i had some ridiculous idea in my head that it was mean to dd1 and spent a lot of time worrying about her when i need not have.

I soon realised after her birth how silly it was.

With number three ive been less enthused the whole time as the whole pregnancy thing is just tedious now, i feel like ive spent most of the last five years pregnant or ttc and am over it. I am so excited about my baby though!!!

#13 Pssst...

Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:42 AM

The first time I was excited about TTC because it was finally happening. And the second time I was just as excited because I loved being pregnant so much I couldn't wait to do it again (call me crazy, plenty of people do! biggrin.gif)

And both BFPs had me jumping up and down and squealing.

The only difference was I didn't do any charting/OPKs etc when TTC the first time but I did the second time. My cycles had gone from being perfectly predictable before DD1 to being all over the place so I needed some help with the planning.

DD2 is only 7 weeks but I'm already thinking ahead to when we can TTC#3. Just have to convince DH!

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Essential Baby & Toddler Show Brisbane (4-6 March). Register online now to save $20!

Newborn baby found in a nativity scene

Police are trying to trace a woman who abandoned a baby boy in the manger of a church nativity scene.

Life would be harder without my kids

The Humans of New York Facebook page is well known for sharing touching, real stories from one of the world's biggest cities – and it's just hit the heart of parents everywhere.

Mum dresses as Wonder Woman for last day of chemo

A Brisbane mum dressed up as a superhero to celebrate the end of her chemotherapy and created a moment her family will remember forever.

How a raisin can predict a toddler's IQ

All you need to assess a child's future intelligence is a plastic cup and a raisin, according to new research.

Former Hi-5 member's cannabis hope

Former Hi-5 star Tim Harding hopes a cannabis-derived drug will help control his daughter's epilepsy, which sees the four-year-old suffering between 50 and 100 seizures a day.

The top 5 reasons your toddler throws a tantrum

Whilst to the outside world little people may appear to have it easy, it's actually not always the case – just ask any toddler who's had their toast cut up the wrong way.

Glenn McGrath thought he'd lost his wife and baby

Australian cricket ledged Glen McGrath has spoken about the moment he thought he might lose his wife, Sara and their baby daughter, Madison.


Inside my Centrelink nightmare

Mother Bec Smith has been trying for months to access Centrelink payments. A "serious error" is preventing her.

Warnings over push for hourly childcare billing

Australia's peak childcare body has called for caution around the Turnbull government's push for childcare centres to charge parents by the hour, not by the day.

Cate Blanchett thought about adopting for years

Cate Blanchett says her recent adoption of a baby girl had nothing to do with wanting a daughter after having three sons.

Kate Walsh: 'I can't have kids'

Grey's Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she is unable to have children because she has experienced early menopause.

The parasite that could boost fertility

The Tsimane women of Bolivia are often revered as among the most fertile in the world - on average having 10 children in their lifetimes -- but some are even more fertile than others.

Family may sue cousin over genetics

A Melbourne couple is suing the Royal Children's Hospital for failing to diagnose a genetic disorder in their first child - an error they allege caused them to have another child with severe disabilities.

Strange things mums have done in labour

While most women in labour focus on the upcoming birth of their baby, some women do more interesting things.

Michael Clarke reveals baby's name

When Michael Clarke said he was wrapped around the finger of his little princess, he wasn't joking.

The logistics of breastfeeding twins

Our life is more or less divided into neat four hour parcels of time and it's hard to get much of anything done in the time between feeds.

How to stop people ruining Christmas

We can make a conscious effort about how we react to those curly Christmas day scenarios that can send us up the wall, or should we say chimney.

Lots of formula offers for desperate mum

The mum who was down to her last three tins of baby formula said she had received hundreds of calls and offers to send her formula.

Surviving breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Cot sheet brands for the nursery

With so many awesome cot sheet options these days, we thought we'd put together a list of go-to brands for you to seek out for your baby's bed.


What's hot on EB

How I survived breast cancer while pregnant

It was last thing Rebecca O'Donnell expected at 30 weeks' pregnant. One morning, while putting on her bra, she felt a pea-sized lump in her right breast.

Grieving father's letter to Bataclan terrorists: "...this little boy will threaten you by being happy and free"

A grieving father whose wife was killed in the attacks on the Bataclan Theatre last weekend has written an open letter to her killers.

5 challenges of motherhood - and how to see them differently

Despite the smiles, the sloppy kisses and the pure magic children bring to our lives, it's hard to deny that motherhood can be tough.

4 challenges of being a new dad - and how to face them

Becoming a parent is challenging – and that applies to both mums and dads.

My battle against antenatal and postnatal depression

I was five months pregnant when I realised I needed help.

Children swapped at birth will not be returned to biological parents

A boy and girl accidentally swapped on the day they were born will stay with the families who have raised them, a South African court has ruled.

A quarter of men believe they get 'man periods'

A British study has revealed one in four men believe they have a monthly cycle.

Baby deposit

How much do you need to save for a 'baby deposit'?

It's fairly straightforward to calculate a house deposit, but how much money do you need to save up for a baby?

Dad's beautiful note to his wife, a nurse

To anyone else it might just look like a picture of a mum having a nap with her toddler.

'I was a complete schmuck': Mike Baird opens up about his wife's postnatal depression

When his wife Kerryn was not well following the birth of their daughter, NSW Premier Mike Baird buried himself in his work.

Mum's desperate plea as whooping cough alert issued

A desperate mother has shared a heart-breaking video of her baby struggling to cope with a coughing fit caused by pertussis.

Coffee could help you live longer

New US research found people who report drinking three to five cups of coffee a day are less likely to die prematurely from heart disease, suicide, diabetes or Parkinson's disease.

The joy and dread of playdates

To live vicariously through your child is to rediscover anxieties you thought dead and buried.

Sick baby could die without scarce special formula, mum says

Lizzie Cann is down to her last three tins of a special formula in short supply.

Adorable toddler's strop foiled by squeaky shoes

We're probably all familiar with the pouty bottom lip and tightly crossed arms of a tot mid-strop.

More sex during World Cup created more baby boys

More sex during South Africa's World Cup meant a disproportionately high number of boys were born nine months later, a new study has found.

ABC Shop perfect for Christmas gifts

What a boon it would be to have your toddler's Christmas gifts covered this year. We have two awesome ABC Shop prize packs to give away to two lucky winners.

Do fitness challenges really work?

Fitness challenges aren't new. There's Michelle Bridges 12WBT and a bunch of other programs if you really want to lose weight.

What are pregnant women Googling?

Pregnancy is a huge change for any woman, so it's natural we'll have questions - and turn to Google to ask them.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.