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How different did you feel when TTC #2 (or more)
12 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:28 PM
We are thinking about TTC # 2 soon and I'm feeling so differently about the whole process this time around.
We know we want two children but the experience is definitely different - first time around I was so excited and blissfully unaware of the realities of life with a baby. Second time around has been delayed much longer than we ever thought until I could get my head around doing it all again (despite loving our son and wanting another, parenting has been much harder than I expected).
Did you find it harder to get excited about # 2 (or more)? Am I just a lonely pessimist?
Will it be more exciting when there is a BFP?
I hope this doesn't come out wrong - we definitely want a second child - the emotions and thought processes just seem so different this time around.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:33 PM
I was a lot more casual about it. I was surprised that I got my BFP less than 4 weeks after going off the OCP, but it wasn't the same excitement as my first. With my first I was shaking and crying and all that. With my second it was just a smile and a few phone calls. My doctor was surprised I didn't go in to see her until I was 8 weeks along because she said usually people are in there the day after their BFP wanting scans etc. I wasn't in a hurry because I knew there was nothing to do until my bloods at 10 weeks
It would be different for everyone.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:37 PM
I think it depends on the circumstances surrounding the conception.
For me it was completely different. Number 1 and number 3 were not planned, so there was no notion of even TTC. Number 2 was completely planned and we were so excited to be planning for another baby, however it took us four goes (lost three) to get our beautiful daughter. So we really only had one journey as such TTC between the three of them and it was long, emotional and finally exciting when we knew she was going to stay with us.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:42 PM
I can relate to that Erin.
Beancat that is a good point. I'm sorry to hear of your losses.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:41 PM
It was different with us as we needed help getting pregnant, I was worried the longer it took, with DS1 we fell pregnant on my first cycle of clomid, but when TTC #2 the clomid no longer worked, so I was starting to really worry about what our next step would be. Excitement wise I can't really remember, I think they were both about the same, I remember jumping up and down and shaking both times when I found out I was pregnant, DH was really sick and in hospital when I found out I was pg with DS2 and DD so we were really happy when it happened as it meant we didn't have to put the next cycle on hold while he recovered.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:47 PM
I am nearly 5 weeks pregnant with number 2 and am yet to be "excited"... I really want this baby but I feel much more disconnected than I did last time!
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:57 PM
DS was a one hit wonder and I fell pregnant first month of trying. Wasn't tracking or trying very hard. Big shock when it happened straight away.
This one took 6 months and one early miscarriage to conceive, I was using opks and completely obssessed with falling pregnant. Now that I am pregnant I'm not particularly excited. I have days where I barely remember I'm pregnant at all.
I had an early gender scan a couple of days ago and am slightly more excited now that I know the gender as it feels more real.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:07 PM
We're looking at trying for a second later this year, and the idea kind of terrifies me. Same as you I think OP, just nervous thinking about all the hard work.
I loved having a newborn and found it easy, but toddlerhood is proving very difficult at times and the thought of a toddler and a newborn? Scary stuff!
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:11 PM
All my pregnancies were planned, but the excitment wasn't the same with 2 and 3, as it was with the first. With my 2nd, which ended in a m/c, even though it was a planned and wanted baby, it just never felt right, from the start... I wonder whether somehow I knew that things weren't going to go well. With my third pregnancy, I was desperate to fall pregnant again, and was totally obsessed with charting, and having weekly acupunture and well timed bd'ing. In the end, it only took 2 cycles to fall pregnant, once I'd recovered from the m/c.
TBH, I was a bit ho hum about the whole pregnancy, but as soon as she was born, and I saw her, I was totally smitten with her. I bonded with her a lot more easily than I did with DD1, when I was a lot more excited by the pregnancy.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:15 PM
Whilst I was very aware of the difficulties of a baby, I actually found being pregnant really exciting. I probably did have the initial 'what have I done' type thoughts, but I probably had these with my first too. Baby brain had me forgetting lots of what happened the first time around anyway. And it was actually easier to be relaxed and not worry. I was quite surprised that I did find subsequent pregnancies just as exciting.
I have 3 and my youngest is a baby. I am actually so in awe of the baby's milestones, it is like I have totally forgetten when and how my other children did them.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:18 PM
Both of my children are IVF bub's so the process/conception for me was much the same but I will say that I agree I had a different level of excitement with my 1st. I agree in think you are less knowing about the months ahead and reality of how crap sleepless nights are. But now having both of them I can't imagine not having my DD for a moment, particularly as she approaches 1 and is full of personality & curiosity about her little life.
Yes having her wasn't the same as having DS but actually knowing what I am doing this time around and enjoying her more has been so rewarding. I definitely feel like a better mum this time around.
Edited by nicknick, 27 January 2013 - 09:24 PM.
Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:08 AM
I was nervous as i had some ridiculous idea in my head that it was mean to dd1 and spent a lot of time worrying about her when i need not have.
I soon realised after her birth how silly it was.
With number three ive been less enthused the whole time as the whole pregnancy thing is just tedious now, i feel like ive spent most of the last five years pregnant or ttc and am over it. I am so excited about my baby though!!!
Posted 28 January 2013 - 06:42 AM
The first time I was excited about TTC because it was finally happening. And the second time I was just as excited because I loved being pregnant so much I couldn't wait to do it again (call me crazy, plenty of people do! )
And both BFPs had me jumping up and down and squealing.
The only difference was I didn't do any charting/OPKs etc when TTC the first time but I did the second time. My cycles had gone from being perfectly predictable before DD1 to being all over the place so I needed some help with the planning.
DD2 is only 7 weeks but I'm already thinking ahead to when we can TTC#3. Just have to convince DH!
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