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Not sure how to discipline my 3yo DD
4 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 03:56 PM
My DD2 is 3 and is testing my limits right now!
I'm just really unsure on how to discipline her and because of this I find myself not being consistent so it's not really improving her behavior.
So how do you discipline your child? What techniques work well and what don't?
Any experiences and advice would great
Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:08 PM
Praise desired behaviour. Be specific, eg " I really liked how you put your toy away when I asked".
Gently correct specifics eg, "please stop pulling on my skirt" but ignore her totally if poor behaviour continues. Do not react/respond/engage. Just "no" and ignore. If tantruming, make sure she is safe (ie move her to rug or away from furniture edges) and ignore.
Model desired behaviour; follow through when you say something (good or bad). My husband especially needs to practice this, he sometimes still threatens "well we won't go to XYZ if you can't get dressed by yourself" when it's imperative we go!
Basically you want to teach her that making a good behaviour choice will get your attention, a poor one will not get her anything. It takes practice.
Be warned, if you've been a bit inconsistent, her poor behaviours will probably be worse for a short time, while she tests how far she can push.
Best bit of advice- if you are going to cave on something (we all have crappy days), cave early, not after 20mins or two hours of tantrums.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 04:10 PM
My DD is a little younger at 2.7 yrs but we have always used the mat for time out. It can be anywhere we are (if ata friends we use a mat there)
I give her fair warning that she will go on the mat if she keeps being naughty and I guess because we have always used that method she knows its a big thing to be sent to the mat. She is a very sensitive child though so if she is ever put on there it results in a massive meltdown and a mass of sobbing "sorry mum's" which breaks my heart but you have to stick to something.
We plan when that stops working or as she gets older removing privledges or favoured items for a period of time. We already will say to her if she is disrespecting her toys etc that if she continues they will go in the bin. A couple of times I have actually grabbed a plastic bag and appeared to be chucking said toy out, which again results in a massive meltdown and the toy is then removed from play for a week or so when it magically reappears unnoticed .
It's hard coming up with something that works. We don't do smacking and have always taught DD that if someone smacks her its wrong and she should tell me. So it wouldnt make sense for us. Hope you find something that works for you
Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:36 PM
I have 2 girls and find age 2.5 to 3.5 a very hard year with both. I didn't really find a method that "worked" as in stopped the behaviour.
We did and still do use a combo of time out, positive encouragement and really setting clear limits.
I also find it important to schedule rest/ sleep time each day and also regular snack foods.
I found by 3.5 to 4 things turned around and the tantrums mostly stopped.
You may have seen some of my posts in the past asking about this age and discipline
Posted 29 January 2013 - 02:49 PM
Every child responds differently - some kids will obey you after a stern look. Others might need to be spanked before they even remotely consider listening. My child responds most effectively to time out, even if it's only five seconds of being in the corner. Think about your DD's personality and what she might respond to. Good luck.
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