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help my cousin picked the same baby name
50 replies to this topic
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:07 AM
i am eight months pregnant and we had a baby name we both love - Holly. but my cousin had a little girl last week and named her holly.
It is disappointing as much as i dont want to i feel like we have to come up with a new name.
Has this happened to anyone out there -did You change or keep your original choice?
does anyone have a name suggestion - i have a oddly spelled name so we want something that is known easy to spell but not too common.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:15 AM
If I were you I'd keep the same name I always planned on using.
There's no trademark on baby names. You love the name, you are free to use it.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:19 AM
I'd say it depends how close you are to your cousin - I don't see most of mine more than once a year, so it wouldn't matter if we doubled up on kids' names.
However I do think it's a chance to explore other name possibilities, which is so much fun and a good way to spend your last weeks of pregnancy! Millie is my suggestion... Good luck!
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:19 AM
With 38 boys in our extended family, there are a number of identical names as the surname lends to a particular 'type' of name.
Some of them are named after each other on purpose too!
If you really don't like the idea maybe shoot a request off to the Baby Names Forum - the regulars in there have endless lists of names and ideas to inspire.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:20 AM
I'd still use the name. It's not like they will be siblings with the same name, they will be second cousins or whatever the family connection is.
ETA- My eldest daughters name is Laura. My cousin named her DD Laura a few years later. It doesn't bother me and it clearly doesn't bother her. It's not a big deal.
Edited by bakesgirls, 27 January 2013 - 11:20 AM.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:26 AM
If you're not too close to your cousin sure keep your choice of Holly. In principle I would too, but in reality I don't think I could do it, especially as the gap will only be a few weeks.
Or go with something kinda similar sounding... Molly. Chloe. Elly. Hayley??
Posted 27 January 2013 - 12:27 AM
I wouldn't use the same name as my cousins. there are so many beautiful names out there.
I love Holly too so maybe some of my other favourites would suit:
Posted 27 January 2013 - 07:28 AM
I would still use the name. Lots of double ups in my family, we manage to distinguish which person we are all talking about with little confusion.
Edited by Peppery, 27 January 2013 - 07:29 AM.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 07:36 AM
In our family their are cousins kids born a week apart, both would have been Isabella if they were girls, everyone knew, no one was worried (they weren't girls in the end so it didn't matter) - we also have plenty of double ups, everyone seems to cope.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 07:36 AM
I never see the big deal with having the same name as someone else. There are thousands of people with that name and chances are, your little one will come across many of them!
I would say it is more annoying to have multiple people with the same name in a workplace than in a family.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 07:39 AM
I wouldn't and didn't use the same name when I was in this situation, seemed kind of lazy not to bother picking out a special name for my child.
Theres an endless number of fantastic names so I chose another name and it actually suits much better than the original choice.
I would only still use it if the name had some really special significance.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 07:48 AM
If its a name you love, use it. Don't pick a name that you prefer as second best. You don't have to be original - you've already picked a name - don't change it because of what someone else has done. (you picked it first - they just had the baby first)
A friend has just named her daughter exactly the same name as my daughter - same first name and same middle name. I think if someone names your child the same as yours, it is the ultimate compliment for a choice of name!!
Go for it!!
Posted 27 January 2013 - 07:52 AM
I wouldn't but that's because my cousins and I are in very regular contact and our family does holidays together. If I hardly ever communicated with them then I'd go ahead.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:02 AM
I wouldn't use it personally, I'd want something that noone else in the family had.
I'd only do it if the name wass 'the one' and I'd loved it for years and really couldn't bear not to use it, or it had family significance, etc. Otherwise I'd pick something just as lovely.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:13 AM
Depends on a few things.
Firstly, how often will you see your cousin and her DD? It would be different if you saw her once a year than once a week.
Secondly, what is the family dynamic? Is your cousin likely to be angry or upset about you using the name? Does the family love to create drama or do they normally get along? Is there someone who would delight in giving you a hard time for copying?
We decided against a certain name for DD as DP's cousin had used one similar just before DD was conceived and it was not worth the grief we would get from one particular aunt who loves to create drama and in particular targets DP's mum.
Effectively if you think it will spoil relationships or put a cloud over your DD's birth then choose something else, maybe use Holly as the MN. If you are close to your cousin and think she will be cool about it then at least give her the courtesy of telling her before your DD is born.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:15 AM
My cousin used my DS's name. She asked, even though I didn't expect or require her to, and I was happy about it. I picked it because it was a great name. Why shouldn't I be happy that she was using a great name as well?
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:20 AM
My cousin named her son the same as my sister did. Their boys were born 6wks apart.
No skin off anyone's nose.
Another cousins DD is the same name as my DN.
What is harder in our family is the fact that four out of five sisters married a Graeme/Grahame.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:21 AM
I'd keep the name OP. It's not the end of the world if you have 2 related people with the name Holly.
as PPs said. no one owns a name.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:24 AM
If you choose not to use it - some similar names would be Poppy, Lily, Daisy and Ivy (ivy is a bit different but still a flower name).
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:27 AM
I have two boys not only the same name, but the same sib set as a cousin! But, my cousin is 18 years older than me, her boys are 20+ years older than my boys, and we see then every couple years.
Funnily enough, no one in the family even noticed.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:28 AM
Depends. Do you see each other often? Will you not feel as good about the name knowing your cousin has it? Are there other names you like as well?
I can see no problem in you using the same name if you wish.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:29 AM
It really depends on how you feel about the name, if it is the only one you love then I would use it. Its a fairly standard name so its not unexpected others have it.
Personally, I would prefer to have my children named differently to their cousins and so if a name had already been used, I wouldn't use it.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:34 AM
I would not use the same name as one of my siblings children - a similar name, yes, but not the exact same one - but any further family link from that I think is fine - same name as your cousin's baby seems fine to me, children are second cousins, thats not a close link - just make sure they have different middle names.
Only exception to this for me would be if the children had same surname AND were going to grow up in a small community together- where 2 related and close in age Holly Smiths in same school etc could be a problem.
Unless this is the case, then I see no problem at all - and Holly is not an unusual name atm, both children will come across other Holly's in their lifetime anyway and just looks like the coincidence it is - whereas if cousin had chosen a rare name like, say,Sapphire (just chose a name at random that I have only ever met one of) then it would look bit odd.
Posted 27 January 2013 - 08:45 AM
Use it otherwise you'll regret not using the name you wanted like I still do 16 years later.
The only time I wouldn't use the same name is if I had step children and it was one of their names. My Dad's step mother named her and my grandfather's first son the same first name as my dad to try and remove any trace of the first family. It upset dad greatly and didn't work ( actually it back fired on her as many years before my grandfather died he figured out what a b**ch the 2nd wife was and every week he would ring my Grandma and asked "Could he come home" my grandmother kept saying no but he kept trying ). Every other time I would use the name I love.
You may not even be close to your cousin when the girls are older. I was once very close to my cousin's and saw most every week. Now I would be glad if I never see some ever again.
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