Jump to content

Juggling care and study - help!

  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

Ok, so I thought I’d post this here in case you ‘ideas ladies’ have some thoughts for me.

I work 3 days a week, at a job that I don’t either enjoy or hate, that offers me a lot of flexibility (I come in late, work from home if I need to, etc), and pays well.
The kids go to daycare on these 3 days.
I’ve started a course that has a class at 4pm on one of my work days, and it’s about an hour away from work, so I’d have to leave at 3pm.

I asked my boss if I could leave early on those days and then work from home that evening – but she wasn’t keen. She asked if I could change my workdays to do a full day.

The daycare doesn’t have a spot for DD on any other day. They MIGHT be able to find a spot for DS – but he’s the one who doesn’t really like daycare, so I’d feel pretty bad sending him in without his sister (they play during the day). I wouldn't be that hesitant if they both could go in for that day - it's only for a few months.

I think my options are:
1) Talk to my boss again about what her concerns are about my work, and see if she could come around if I can demonstrate that I really WOULD still do the work. The complications here are that I actually often DON’T have a lot to do in my workday (see EB post count). But when I do – and busy period is coming up soon – she knows full well that I work long hours and from home and out of hours etc, so me being at work wouldn’t really change anything.
2) Pull out all stops to find some care arrangements for an additional day. This would give me time to actually study for half a day, on the day that they are at daycare and I’m not at work (the day I have class). I’d probably need this study time, because of it being busy period at work, so it would be hard to be trying to fit all that study in at night if I’m working all hours as well. If it’s this option, then I think my possibilities are
a. Try to find a nanny for that day. The cost scares me though, and the unfamiliarity.
b. Contact an occasional daycare centre – there is one nearby. But I worry about the kids going to somewhere unfamiliar.
c. Send DS to daycare an additional day, and ask my SIL and her nanny if DD can go to their place on Mondays. She has 3 kids, so they can’t fit 2 extra kids in the car but they can fit one. She’s been there before and has a ball.
d. Dh’s cousin has the same nanny on a different day for half the day. Ask her if there’s any chance she can have the kids there for that half of the day, and then ask the nanny to keep my kids for the other half of the day too.
e. Put forward our planned upgrade of our car to a peoplemover, and see if SIL’s nanny would be willing to take both DD and DS and she could use the peoplemover for the day
f. Ask DH’s parents if they can do it. They used to keep the kids, but MIL has just recently gone into remission from cancer, and the FIL is getting pretty old too. The kids are low maintenance now as far as I’m concerned, but I’m not sure they’d find them so.
g. Ask DH’s parents if they could take DD only – I think they’d love this as they view her as less high maintenance (but I think this is mainly because they have never tried keeping DS). But I’d still feel bad about sending DS to daycare.
h. Try and pull together some kind of ad hoc thing. It’s just 14 weeks to get through – maybe I could ask the cousin just to do this twice, SIL to do twice (still a car issue though), PIL to do twice... maybe I could find enough friends etc who’d be willing to have the kids for one day that I could manage to make up the whole 14 weeks? It would be stressful though asking for so many favours!

What are your thoughts? Am I missing something obvious? My major concerns are partly cost, but more the trying to make that extra day of ‘care’ something fun for the kids that they’d enjoy, not a day of torture for them for their mummy’s selfishness sad.gif  And I also don't want to make it the sort of thing where it's a punishment for DS (daycare) but a treat for DD (day with rellos) as it doesn't seem fair.


#2 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 January 2013 - 02:31 PM


#3 Aribika

Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:17 PM

Assuming that you are starting the course straight away, I would work on getting care for the extra work day that you need for the next few weeks by asking family.  If this goes fairly smoothly then agree to the different work day and then sort out more concrete plans for the rest of the 14 weeks that you need.

You never know what can change in the next few weeks.  Ask about the nanny for sure as she may be eager for extra work.  

I know what you mean about asking favours of people because I hate doing it.  I even hate asking my Mum to babysit very occasionally.  Once you start though, you may find that your family are eager to help you out for the short term.

I would avoid asking my boss again to leave early as she has already said that she is not comfortable with that.  That would be my last resort.  It sounds like you could do with the extra study day anyway and your chn would be happy to be with family.  

Good luck.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


9 things I need to thank my parents for

You really don't realise everything your parents did for you until you find yourself doing them for your own children ... vomit catching and all.

The adventurous baby who's already putting safety first

When you're a baby, even getting off a bed and onto the floor can be a tricky procedure.

The story behind the love video that went viral

It is a quiet video, less than a half-minute long. It features no flourishes to speak of. It has no kittens doing kitten things. None of the things that often make a video go viral.

Anthony and Elle Watmough's joyous news as baby cleared of fatal condition

Rugby league star Anthony Watmough and his wife Elle have shared their joy at learning their unborn baby, who was thought to have Trisomy 18, was cleared of the fatal condition.

Win a family farmstay with Shaun the Sheep

To celebrate the Home Entertainment release of Shaun the Sheep Movie, Essential Kids and Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are offering one winner and their family a holiday to a farm.

How I learnt to be a better friend

I may have lost that particular friend years ago, but I have gained so much from that experience.

What goes in the nappy bag?

It's far more than just a bag for nappies - it's the travel companion for your baby that should contain all the things you might need when away from home base.

The nature naming trend

The biggest joy of our daughter's name is that people really light up when they hear it (pun intended).

Win a Justine Clarke Pyjama Jam! prize pack

The Pyjama Jam! tour will see Justine Clarke returning to more intimate venues around Australia, creating the perfect comfy and cozy atmosphere for a PJ party.

Parents of baby born without part of his skull stand up to critics

When Brittany and Brandon Buell's son Jaxon was born missing much of his brain and skull, doctors said he only had days to live.

Baby plans are 'none of your business'

Emily Bingham had been asked about her baby making plans one too many times. 

Diet shakes to lose weight? Think again

Thinking of investing in meal replacement shakes to slim down ahead of summer?

Study offers support for cancer treatment during pregnancy

It is among the most delicate and difficult dilemmas in medicine: Should a pregnant woman who has received a cancer diagnosis begin treatment before her child is born?

Awards 2015: Vote now for a chance to win $2000

Vote for your favourite pregnancy, baby and toddler products for your chance to win your share of $2500 in cash prizes.

64 baby names based in nature

Looking for a baby name with a nod to nature, or one with an organic meaning? Check out our list to get inspired.

What coffee does to your body

That cup of Joe is just the boost your body needs.

Mum leaves triplets at hospital because she can't afford them

An illiterate and poverty stricken mother has abandoned her newborn triplets at hospital because she cannot afford to care for them.

I gave my daughter up for adoption - then tried to be her mum

The first time my oldest daughter called me 'Mum', she was 17.

Rainbow Babies lighting up the internet

A recent Facebook photo post is prompting widespread discussion of an emotional topic for many parents: rainbow babies.

The new wave of virgins giving birth

Dozens of young women have had virgin births after undergoing IVF in Britain, it has been reported.

'It sort of became an addiction': parents buying, reselling Bonds Wondersuits

Your baby might be crawling around in hundreds of dollars worth of clothing.

Adjusting your child to daylight savings time

A one-hour difference to the day is pretty big deal when you're little.

Born too soon: life on the margins of existence

The frontiers of life are advancing ever further into uncharted territory.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



What are your favourite baby products?

The Essential Baby Awards are on now, and we need your help! Have your say on your top picks and you'll go in the draw to win a share of $2500.

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.