Jump to content

Juggling care and study - help!


  • Please log in to reply
2 replies to this topic

#1 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

Ok, so I thought I’d post this here in case you ‘ideas ladies’ have some thoughts for me.

I work 3 days a week, at a job that I don’t either enjoy or hate, that offers me a lot of flexibility (I come in late, work from home if I need to, etc), and pays well.
The kids go to daycare on these 3 days.
I’ve started a course that has a class at 4pm on one of my work days, and it’s about an hour away from work, so I’d have to leave at 3pm.

I asked my boss if I could leave early on those days and then work from home that evening – but she wasn’t keen. She asked if I could change my workdays to do a full day.

The daycare doesn’t have a spot for DD on any other day. They MIGHT be able to find a spot for DS – but he’s the one who doesn’t really like daycare, so I’d feel pretty bad sending him in without his sister (they play during the day). I wouldn't be that hesitant if they both could go in for that day - it's only for a few months.

I think my options are:
1) Talk to my boss again about what her concerns are about my work, and see if she could come around if I can demonstrate that I really WOULD still do the work. The complications here are that I actually often DON’T have a lot to do in my workday (see EB post count). But when I do – and busy period is coming up soon – she knows full well that I work long hours and from home and out of hours etc, so me being at work wouldn’t really change anything.
2) Pull out all stops to find some care arrangements for an additional day. This would give me time to actually study for half a day, on the day that they are at daycare and I’m not at work (the day I have class). I’d probably need this study time, because of it being busy period at work, so it would be hard to be trying to fit all that study in at night if I’m working all hours as well. If it’s this option, then I think my possibilities are
a. Try to find a nanny for that day. The cost scares me though, and the unfamiliarity.
b. Contact an occasional daycare centre – there is one nearby. But I worry about the kids going to somewhere unfamiliar.
c. Send DS to daycare an additional day, and ask my SIL and her nanny if DD can go to their place on Mondays. She has 3 kids, so they can’t fit 2 extra kids in the car but they can fit one. She’s been there before and has a ball.
d. Dh’s cousin has the same nanny on a different day for half the day. Ask her if there’s any chance she can have the kids there for that half of the day, and then ask the nanny to keep my kids for the other half of the day too.
e. Put forward our planned upgrade of our car to a peoplemover, and see if SIL’s nanny would be willing to take both DD and DS and she could use the peoplemover for the day
f. Ask DH’s parents if they can do it. They used to keep the kids, but MIL has just recently gone into remission from cancer, and the FIL is getting pretty old too. The kids are low maintenance now as far as I’m concerned, but I’m not sure they’d find them so.
g. Ask DH’s parents if they could take DD only – I think they’d love this as they view her as less high maintenance (but I think this is mainly because they have never tried keeping DS). But I’d still feel bad about sending DS to daycare.
h. Try and pull together some kind of ad hoc thing. It’s just 14 weeks to get through – maybe I could ask the cousin just to do this twice, SIL to do twice (still a car issue though), PIL to do twice... maybe I could find enough friends etc who’d be willing to have the kids for one day that I could manage to make up the whole 14 weeks? It would be stressful though asking for so many favours!

What are your thoughts? Am I missing something obvious? My major concerns are partly cost, but more the trying to make that extra day of ‘care’ something fun for the kids that they’d enjoy, not a day of torture for them for their mummy’s selfishness sad.gif  And I also don't want to make it the sort of thing where it's a punishment for DS (daycare) but a treat for DD (day with rellos) as it doesn't seem fair.

Ideas?

#2 CallMeFeral

Posted 25 January 2013 - 02:31 PM

Bump?

#3 Aribika

Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:17 PM

Assuming that you are starting the course straight away, I would work on getting care for the extra work day that you need for the next few weeks by asking family.  If this goes fairly smoothly then agree to the different work day and then sort out more concrete plans for the rest of the 14 weeks that you need.

You never know what can change in the next few weeks.  Ask about the nanny for sure as she may be eager for extra work.  

I know what you mean about asking favours of people because I hate doing it.  I even hate asking my Mum to babysit very occasionally.  Once you start though, you may find that your family are eager to help you out for the short term.

I would avoid asking my boss again to leave early as she has already said that she is not comfortable with that.  That would be my last resort.  It sounds like you could do with the extra study day anyway and your chn would be happy to be with family.  

Good luck.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

How a baby can survive alone for days on end

The baby found abandoned in a Sydney drain may have been alone for up to six days without being fed, leaving many asking how he could have survived.

When it begins to look a lot like Christmas

A child's excitement at Christmas time is a beautiful thing, but one dad ponders whether his toddler daughter is getting into the festive mood a bit too soon.

Hospital lets dads the experience some of the pain of childbirth

A new experience is radically altering men's views of childbirth.

Italian doctors questioned over formula bribes

Italian police have placed 12 doctors under house arrest on suspicion of promoting baby milk formula over breastfeeding.

Heartwarming prank gives single mum the house she was hired to clean

Cara Simmons arrived at work to clean a large and beautiful house in time for a party planned for that evening. It was soon hers.

Those special moments of sibling bonding

Every now and then your child does or says something that is truly memorable.

Why we should stop telling new parents to 'enjoy every moment'

A few weeks ago, some dear friends of mine had their first baby. As the proud dad texted me a picture I had to fight the natural instinct to say “Enjoy every moment!”

Baby monitor footage posted online

Footage of Australian babies and children sleeping in their bedrooms are among the images on a Russian site showing live feeds from thousands of homes and businesses around the world.

Did this new dad really hit on his wife's midwife?

Was there really a man who was actually there by his wife’s side as she laboured and gave birth to his child, all while he was making what he perceived to be meaningful eye contact with a midwife?

Keep calm and ignore the Tantrum Trolls

Tantrum Trolls are a small but growing species of predatory bottom-feeders who delight in picking on parents at their most vulnerable.

It's okay to never 'get over' the death of a loved one

The death of children, siblings, and parents has long term impacts on the rest of our lives.

What Mark Latham needs to know about depression and motherhood

In a bizarre bid for relevancy, Former Opposition leader Mark Latham has deduced that because one female journalist had this week light-heartedly thanked antidepressants and caffeine for getting her through a medical degree while raising two small children, that ergo, all 'inner-city feminists' are selfish harridans who despise their offspring.

'We're just trying to keep our child alive': life with FPIES

We have a beautiful seven-month-old son, and his allergy rules our life.

Transgender dad breastfeeds his babies

A transgender man who breastfed his first baby - despite having his breasts removed as part of his transformation from female to male - has now had a second child.

Couple face $1 million medical bill and bankruptcy after babymoon birth

A Canadian couple were slammed with a million dollar medical bill after their daughter was prematurely during their babymoon.

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Cigarettes, junk food dominate supermarket sales growth

One in every five dollars spent at supermarkets goes on cigarettes or junk food, according to industry data.

Teacher under fire for breastfeeding in class

There is no doubt mums have a right to continue breastfeeding after they have returned to work, but one teacher in the US has taken it to the extreme.

Video: Baby sniffs beardless dad to make sure it's him

She looks him up and down and then touches his chin, but baby Lindsey still isn't sure this clean-shaven man is her dad.

The tragedy of losing a favourite teddy bear

We were green and uninitiated, perhaps a little naïve when it came to the favourite toy responsibility.

It's possible to workout while pregnant

Medical experts say intense fitness routines can be done safely during pregnancy - if the mums-to-be follow some guidelines.

Baby for Asher Keddie and Vincent Fantauzzo

Fans followed every step of her on-screen pregnancy in Offspring, now Asher Keddie is going to be a mum in real life too.

What parents really want for their kids

Are our hopes, dreams and expectations for our children what they really need?

'I had a feeling something was seriously wrong': the fight for Kaden's diagnosis

Before even giving birth, Katie Myers' maternal instincts warned her something was wrong with her baby.

Win a family pass to Disney Live!

We have 4 family passes to give away to see Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales, touring Australia this December/January.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Win one of 5 Little Tikes Cozy Coupe Sport

Australia?s No 1 selling car is now available in a Sports model and we have 5 to give away to some lucky Essential Baby families.

Join PADDINGTON on the red carpet!

To celebrate the release of PADDINGTON, we are giving five lucky winners the chance to win a family pass to the exclusive Australian Premiere in Sydney on December 7!

When your pregnancy causes a relationship rift

Some dads-to-be don't miss a beat when their partner is pregnant; others struggle with a range of issues and can become withdrawn, right when their support is needed most.

Couple uses group photo trick to announce pregnancy to loved ones

Katharine and Kris Camilli devised a clever trick to immortalise their family and friends' reactions to their exciting pregnancy news.

Why Tracey Spicer has given up make-up

"After 30 years on television, I had become what I despised: a painted doll who spent an hour a day and close to $200 a week putting on a mask."

Knowing you are one of the lucky ones

I am secure, confident and strong, but the responsibility of protecting my children can almost bring me undone.

Why I am so emotional now I have kids?

There are so many ways in which parenthood changes us as women, but one of the most noticeable, for me, has been the changing state of my emotions.

Baby survives despite sharing womb with 'foreign body'

Baby Maia was conceived against the odds, only to find she was sharing a womb with an ominous "foreign body".

Video: Baby shows dog how to jump - or vice versa

They say dog is man's best friend, but this playful pooch seems to have chosen a jumping baby as her number one buddy.

10 ways to soothe a crying baby

New paernts can get frustrated when their newborn gets fussy and can't settle down. When you're feeling overwhelmed, try some of these simple tips to help soothe your baby.

20 baby names that are becoming more popular every year

The data-lovers at nameberry.com have been at it again – this time, they’ve discovered the names that are continually rising up the ranks, ready to take out some top spots in the next few years.

10 great meals to make for new parents

Ideally, you want to give food that isn’t expensive to make, isn't too difficult to create, and freezes well; stews, bakes, soups and pasta sauces are perfect.

'It's not you, it's me': Boston bombing survivor mum to have leg amputated

Rebekah DiMartino is going through a break-up. She even wrote a farewell love letter. But it's not to her husband.

What it's like to go through early menopause

In a cruel twist, Carla had been breastfeeding and perimenopausal at the same time. But she's far from the only one to go through menopause early.

Weird pregnancy products

Some pregnancy products come to market and are just awesome. Others just leave you scratching your head.

Restaurant served alcohol to two-year-old

Busy restaurants can be forgiven for getting food and drink orders mixed up from time to time, but not when the confusion leads to a two-year-old being served an alcoholic cocktail instead of the child-friendly beverage they ordered.

Julia Morris tells of miscarriage on a flight

Julia Morris has spoken about the devastation of suffering a miscarriage while on an international flight.

Woman's survival after birth 'a story of two miracles'

A US mother is home and tending to her new baby less than a month after surviving without a pulse for 45 minutes.

Best maternity swimwear and beach cover-ups

Thinking about a tropical babymoon but have nothing to wear? Here are some great swimwear and beach cover-up options for mums-to-be.

Duchess's letter to grieving mum

The Duchess of Cambridge has written to a grieving mum on a "very difficult" day.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.