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Do I talk to his teacher?

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#1 Fillyjonk

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:35 PM

My son started school at the beginning of January, which was the start of the second term. He is four, we are in Beijing and he does half days at an English speaking international school. Thus far he seems to enjoy school and he has never complained about having to go.

Then tonight at bedtime he told me quite matter of factly, "In group time X and Y were hitting me and I told them 'No! Stop doing that.'" Talking about it further, it seems that on a few (several?) occasions X and Y have hit him while they were sitting on the carpet. I asked if he had told the teacher and he said, no but she had seen it happen before and told them to stop. I asked if X and Y hit other people and he said no, it was just him. He did not seem at all upset and, as I said, the conversation was all very matter of fact. I asked him if he wanted me to speak to his teacher and he said, no, she had seen it and told them to stop before.

I left it at, "Well next time you have group time don't sit near X or Y, okay?. And I might just have to have a word with your teacher anyway because it is very wrong for them to be hitting people. And if it happens again, make sure you tell your teacher."

So do I talk to her, or do I just sit on it to see if it keeps happening?

I am terrified that my boy might be bullied. He is such a sensible and sweet little soul. But he *is* a little socially awkward around other children so it really does concern me. If this is happening at four years old, what is going to happen as he gets older?

#2 Beanbag Warrior

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:38 PM

You choice, but if you do, I would leave it at

"DS told me that X and Y have been rough with him when they're in groups / on the mat, so if you could just keep an eye on things or make sure they're split up, that would be great."

And I'm sure you've already done it, but certainly praise your son for not taking the route of return violence.

#3 SplashingRainbows

Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:27 AM

You know he seems to have handled himself really really well.

He seems confident to tell them to stop, not overly bothered (if I've understood you correctly), told you about it calmly (support seeking) and now knows he can tell the teacher if intervention is necessary. Hard to know but he sounds capable of dealing with it at the level it is currently occurring. There's no reason you can't speak to the teacher in a week or two if it continues?

Go with your gut though! By all means let the teacher know now if you feel it necessary.

#4 jennywin

Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:39 AM

I would talk to the teacher, but just to get a better understanding of what is actually happening. You want to nip it in the bud(butt?) before it becomes an issue.

Let her know your child says she stops it every time she sees it, so you are happy with her supervising. But I'd just want her take on why the other 2 kids are doing it, do they do it to other children, and what you can do to talk/train your child to stop the hitting. She may have some useful advice for you.

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