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Posting pictures of your children on public sites
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#1 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:46 PM

Hi,
I guess I am just looking for a balanced view on this issue.
I do not post pictures of my kids in public ever, I don't sign to them being used to promote anything to do with dept ed, sports they are involved in etc. Basically I won't let them have a picture on any public internet forum. For a few reasons I guess - one is I don't want to be a hypocrite. I mean, I am always reinforcing the cyber safety message to my oldest and if I was to post stuff online then I am saying 'yeah there are crazies in the world but apparently I know how to avoid them better than you' which is patently unture when it comes to the 'net as none of us can really know who is who on public sites. Another reason is pics online can and do stay on the ether that is the internet forever and is my kid really able to give informed consent before I post a dorky pic of FDOS on a public blog or similar. So yeah lots of other reasons but that is my thinking. However so many folk think I am overthinking it and overreacting. I mean loads of bloggers have their kids plastered all over their blog. And friends of mine who have a sewing website were gobsmacked when I forbade them putting a pic of my daughter in a dress I made her on their site.
I am really uncomfortable with it and wonder if I am a technophobe or justified

#2 Dowager fancie

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:51 PM


Your choice.

Me?  I have pics of my family on fb.  My extended family have their pics up on fb too.



#3 Nora.

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:52 PM

I think you're over reacting but it's not really my place to judge. I have friends who feel the same way as you. Their choice.

I post pics of my children on FB (but only have 40 friends), they're also on Flickr. I don't believe in humiliating photos of my kids. They're nice photos, fully clothed, just either to show what my kids did on XYZ day or because I've been experimenting with my camera (I enjoy photography as a hobby).

There's pics of my kids online, on the school website. You really have no control over who shows photos of your kids. I have hundreds of photos of other kids (in the background etc) that I could post online. Photos of my son's soccer team, photos of my daughter's fellow dance pupils. Those parents may not want their children online, but who's to stop another parent posting them anyway?

#4 JustBeige

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:52 PM

I think you are justified, but only because I think the same way.

I dont put pictures of my kids on the net simply because I dont trust who can get hold of them.

I generally do sign the form to say they can be used and then check later to see if they have put any identifying information with the photo. So far so good.

I do know lots of people who dont think this way and have lots of photos of their kids and themselves up.  Good for them, as long as they dont expect me to be the same original.gif

#5 Mrs Jay Kay

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:53 PM

My DH would say you're totally justified.  He's an IT manager and hates the internet.  We posted one pic of each of the kids when they were born and he wasn't over the moon about that. I have never consented for DD1's pic to be published by the school and won't for the younger two either.



#6 Isolabella

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:56 PM

I will post pictures of my kids on FB, but my only friends are family and restricted access to my FB friends only. So friends of friends don't get to see them.

It is an easier way to keep in contact with family around the world.

General EB or other sites, mo you will not see my kids.



#7 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:59 PM

QUOTE (Nora. @ 24/01/2013, 05:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Those parents may not want their children online, but who's to stop another parent posting them anyway?


Whos to stop them? Me. All the parents, sports coach etc all know that any pictures of my son are NOT to be posted on facebook etc. I get a lot of strange looks but so far they all agree. The local paper at our old place did a story on a pretty awesome achievement of my sons, I agreed to his pic on the proviso it was not used in the online paper, I had to sign a bunch of crap but they were cool with it.

And what we think is a pretty pic may not be to a kid in 10 years time....

#8 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:02 PM

QUOTE (Mrs Jay Kay @ 24/01/2013, 05:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My DH would say you're totally justified.  He's an IT manager and hates the internet.  We posted one pic of each of the kids when they were born and he wasn't over the moon about that. I have never consented for DD1's pic to be published by the school and won't for the younger two either.


Yeah I have a friend whos husband works for the AFP with online crimes and when I spoke to him about he said over his dead body would pictures of his kids go up online

#9 lylac

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:06 PM

Justified. I do have some photos of my children on facebook.

#10 Nora.

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:06 PM

QUOTE
Whos to stop them? Me. All the parents, sports coach etc all know that any pictures of my son are NOT to be posted on facebook etc. I get a lot of strange looks but so far they all agree. The local paper at our old place did a story on a pretty awesome achievement of my sons, I agreed to his pic on the proviso it was not used in the online paper, I had to sign a bunch of crap but they were cool with it.


But the thing is, I have photos of a few of my son's soccer matches from last year. He played various teams from surrounding suburbs. I stood there with big camera, zoom lens, not one parent ever told me they had an issue with me photographing the match. I haven't posted them online because I am actually aware people may get sh*tty. But I could.

I have photos of kids from school, kids from my son's soccer matches, kids from my daughter's dance classes, EB'ers kids. I could post any of them online at any time. I choose not to, but what I'm saying is you have no control.

#11 ResultsNotTypical

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:11 PM

QUOTE (JustBeige @ 24/01/2013, 05:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I dont put pictures of my kids on the net simply because I dont trust who can get hold of them.


Genuine question - what is it you fear random strangers will do with your kids pictures? I always wonder what the fear is.

Maybe I'm naive, but I just can't work up a great deal of worry about it.

#12 kez71

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:12 PM

ok, i don't have kids yet  (due in April) but im wondering what crimes can be committed or what the problem is with photos online? I can understand nudie pics can be taken and used by the pedophiles, but just an ordinary pic of a kid? I don't understand what the problem is..not judging, just genuinely don't understand the concerns about it.

DH's family are all in UK, so Im sure we will be sending pics to them via facebook when bubba arrives

#13 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:12 PM

I think the IT guy and cop are seeing the truth of the Net but also the worst all.the.time.

I remember when I worked in a particular area for a year and got a really paranoid view of ALL men and started looking for signs in all the men I knew...it was pretty horrible. I assume seeing the worst of the worst all the time would give you a disproportionate view of how many crazies there are.

Or not - it could well be a 1:1 ratio by now.

I have pics of my kids on FB with a small number of friends and appropriate blocks, however I am aware that this isn't the be all in internet security, but it'll do for me.

#14 FeralZombieMum

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

In a way I am similar to you - in that I don't post pictures of my kids online, and am very careful with trying to teach them about cyber safety and all that.

I do think it's reasonable for you to ask your friend not to use a picture of your child, and hopefully your friend will respect that.

Unfortunately - you'll find you won't be able to control it all, and you'll have to find a way to cope with that. The only way to avoid it completely is by living on a deserted island. wink.gif


Last year one of my children was involved in a few separate events with separate groups - and it's been kind of amusing to see when photos of her (and others in her group) appear online or in printed magazines. Even months after one of the events, a photo of her was used in a magazine that was distributed to quite a lot of people.

Videos were also made at these events - so other people can purchase them and post these online. She's also on youtube. ohmy.gif People were able to take their own photos and videos, so it definitely was out of our control.

Fortunately we aren't that naive - so realise that by allowing our DD to participate in these events, we can't demand that no photos or videos are made, and at least her name isn't linked to these things - so she still has some anonymity.

#15 Sif

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:13 PM

You are right - images stay on the net forever and your children cannot consent to their images being posted while they're young because they have very little concept of how those photos may be use and misused by others. I don't see a problem with your stance towards this.

That said, I have posted numerous photos of my children on the net, both on forums and on my blog. I don't believe for a second that any internet privacy 'policies' are fail safe or that there is any real, concrete privacy on the net, so I am quite careful about the kinds of photos I post. I think about how those photos might possibly impact them as adults. I don't post 'joke' photos of my kids 'drinking' from beer bottles or dressing up or posing provocatively. I don't post anything that might cost them a job in future.

I also talk to my older children (who have access to the net) about posting photo that might identify where they live, which schools they go to, or photos which may be misconstrued - even if they 'supposed to be funny'.

The internet is like any other tool, it must be used with aware of the risks.



#16 ShoeLady

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:16 PM

I'm in 100% agreement with you.  Earlier in 2012 my sister stopped speaking to me after I told her not to post pics of my kids on FB, I don't post them and really not happy for anyone else to either.  I posted on here a while ago about this, and got the whole "irrational" "overprotective" replies.

Also, I thought cameras where banned from say pools etc to prevent people posting pics of others in the background?

#17 Glowworm80

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:17 PM

I have pics of my kids on Facebook, which has the strongest privacy settings I can set on them. I also have an instagram site which is private.

I am very careful about what kind of photos I put up on Facebook, no naked shots and generally no embarrassing ones that they would complain about in a few years.

At the moment in the mommy blogging world there is a huge sh*t storm regarding a popular blogger who posted a picture of her daughter who also happens to have Down Syndrome. In the photo you could clearly see her vulva. In my opinion that is totally not on. The little girl is only 3, and the blogger has 26k followers on her instagram. Reading some of the commentary regarding pedophiles etc is horrific. I would never expose my kids like this.

#18 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:18 PM

QUOTE (ResultsNotTypical @ 24/01/2013, 06:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Genuine question - what is it you fear random strangers will do with your kids pictures? I always wonder what the fear is.

Maybe I'm naive, but I just can't work up a great deal of worry about it.



QUOTE (kez71 @ 24/01/2013, 06:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ok, i don't have kids yet  (due in April) but im wondering what crimes can be committed or what the problem is with photos online? I can understand nudie pics can be taken and used by the pedophiles, but just an ordinary pic of a kid? I don't understand what the problem is..not judging, just genuinely don't understand the concerns about it.

DH's family are all in UK, so Im sure we will be sending pics to them via facebook when bubba arrives



There are a number of issues that stand out for me. One is that even the most benign picture of a child can be edited into something nasty for someone elses perverse pleasure, or used in an inappropriate way. Think the girl whos image was stolen to create a fake identity and deceive and con people. Or the face of child used on a photoshop image for a nasty purpose. Or even as your child gets older being scouted out and used to bully them... this is just the tip of the iceberg I think. that is way before the idea that some sicko could have a 'type' that 'type' be your kid finds your pic, uses any number of reverse search engines to find the smallest detail and tracks down your child.....

#19 Nora.

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:23 PM

Of course somebody can edit your child's head onto a naked body and turn it pornographic. But seriously, how often does that happen? I think the fears are grossly exaggerated.

My kids are still young, but at an age where I actually do ask them if they're cool with me posting pics of them, they look, they say "yes or no". Of course they're forever, but nothing inappropriate is ever posted.

I still think the fear is exaggerated. I have a way bigger issue with people having photos of their kids on signatures here. it's completely open to the public and members give out wayyyyy too much info. I have public flickr photos of my kids, but no info on me, them, anything else. They're just pics. If some sicko wants to make them pornographic then so be it. But it could happen anyway.

#20 RealityBites

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:27 PM

QUOTE (ResultsNotTypical @ 24/01/2013, 06:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Genuine question - what is it you fear random strangers will do with your kids pictures? I always wonder what the fear is.

I just can't work up a great deal of worry about it.


This exactly. Paranoid.

#21 Wahootifandango

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:31 PM

I must admit I have never really been that concerned about this issue - but then my kids are not at school yet and I only have a very limited number of facebook friends.

Are most people concerned about the image on its own, or only if its linked with their identity.

Just yesterday I was looking at the website for the football team we support to see when their next family day was being held.  To my surprise, the webpage came up with this huge banner photo of my DS being held by the mascot at the last family day. He had posed for that photo for my DH, and I did not even know another photo was being snapped from another angle.

My first reaction, after the initial shock, was awww, he looks so cute, no wonder they picked that shot to put up.  There is no name.

Am I right in saying some of you would have been furious and would have immediately picked up the phone and demanded the photo be taken down?

#22 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:32 PM

QUOTE (RealityBites @ 24/01/2013, 06:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This exactly. Paranoid.


hmmm paranoid, maybe
although if a criminal on the other side of the world can use facebook to track his victim from 15 years previous solely by finding a nieces picture tagged on facebook and use that tiny piece of information to track down said victim I think in this day and age a little paranoia can go a long way

#23 melajoe

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:33 PM

QUOTE (ResultsNotTypical @ 24/01/2013, 05:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Genuine question - what is it you fear random strangers will do with your kids pictures? I always wonder what the fear is.

Maybe I'm naive, but I just can't work up a great deal of worry about it.


I always wonder the same thing.  I know a few people with a similar attitude to the OP's and fair enough, each to their own and all that, I would never go against somebody's wishes and put up pictures of their kids if they had told me they were against it.  But, still I have to wonder.

What do these parents do when they take their kids out in public?  I mean, my goodness, what if somebody, like you know, sees them?  I just don't see the big deal.

Edited by melajoe, 24 January 2013 - 05:34 PM.


#24 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:36 PM

QUOTE (Wahootifandango @ 24/01/2013, 06:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I must admit I have never really been that concerned about this issue - but then my kids are not at school yet and I only have a very limited number of facebook friends.

Are most people concerned about the image on its own, or only if its linked with their identity.

Just yesterday I was looking at the website for the football team we support to see when their next family day was being held.  To my surprise, the webpage came up with this huge banner photo of my DS being held by the mascot at the last family day. He had posed for that photo for my DH, and I did not even know another photo was being snapped from another angle.

My first reaction, after the initial shock, was awww, he looks so cute, no wonder they picked that shot to put up.  There is no name.

Am I right in saying some of you would have been furious and would have immediately picked up the phone and demanded the photo be taken down?


furious? not me. My Dh would have known not to have had any of the children in his arms whilst posing for any photos other than family. However it was taken totally without permission yes I would call up and ask for it to be taken down. I would feel to not have asked any kind of permission is appalling

#25 Guest_3Keiki_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:38 PM

QUOTE (melajoe @ 24/01/2013, 06:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What do these parents do when they take their kids out in public?  I mean, my goodness, what if somebody, like you know, sees them?  I just don't see the big deal.



Really?? That is terribly obtuse? There is a massive difference between walking outside your house and posting pictures online




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