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7yo girl vs 3yo boy
Boy loses.


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#1 Domestic Goddess

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:23 PM

I just want to know if I was over reacting or not.

A big well known restaurant. It's very family friendly with a playground and permanent jumping castle, Play Station 2's, little cinema, etc.
I take DS there once a month for lunch if I can afford a small kids meal for him. He loves the jumping castle and always has a ball when we're at that restaurant.
Today, unfortunately, things didn't go so well.

A 7yo girl went onto the jumping castle with her skipping rope. Her parents were sitting at the back of the restaurant and could not see/care what she was upto.
I was sitting at the front so I could keep an eye on everything. I just turned around to ask the waitress for some water when I heard DS crying out a heartbreaking cry. The kind that you instantly know he's really hurt.
I got up and asked what happened. Another little boy said that the girl had scratched DS.
I asked the girl why on earth she did that. "He tried to grab my skipping rope". The other little boy said that the girl had been throwing the rope around and it had hit DS and him in the face. So I assume that DS tried to grab it before she hurt him again.
I told her that he's only 3 and was probably trying to defend himself. Plus skipping ropes don't belong on jumping castles.
"SO WHAT?! IM 7! HE SHOULD NOT TOUCH MY ROPE!!!!"
"Well, can you at least say sorry? He's got blood on his ear, neck and cheek".
"IM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER! I DONT LISTEN TO YOU" *Sticks fingers in her ears and starts to do the "na nananana* sing song cr@p.
I asked her where her mother was, but ofcourse I got ignored.

So I kept watching her and soon found out who her parents were. I walked upto them and asked if they could get their daughter to apologize. Her mum looked at me and said: "Sorry!".
Yet the girl said it wasn't her fault so she was not going to say sorry. Mum just shrugged and dad said: "Ohhhh he's a big boy! He's tough and will get over it!" huh.gif

Anyway, I sat down thinking nothing will happen anymore and I can eat my lunch now. Yeah right!
Im watching the girl getting back onto the jumping castle. She immediately gets in DS's face and hits him. He hits her back and she hits him again. I witnessed the whole event and jumped up to talk to her.
She said DS hit her first, yet she wasn't going to get away with it that easy as I saw the whole thing happening and I told her this.
She yelled: " I TOLD YOU IM NOT YOUR DAUGHTER. IM NOT LISTENING TO YOU SO GO AWAY!"  blink.gif
I thought to myself she was lucky to not be my daughter because she would've been in serious trouble right there and then.
So I went to the mother and asked her to please try and keep her daughter away from DS and I would try to keep DS away from her daughter. Mum gets up and tells her daughter to not hit again. That was that.

*SIGH* I didn't want her to hurt him again, so I spent the next hour running after DS making sure he didn't get near that little girl again. She seemed to be carrying a grudge, even though she did not even get into much trouble with her parents for scratching and hitting DS.
I considered leaving the restaurant, but DS nor I had finished our lunch yet and I didn't think it was fair for him to have his fun cut short while he isn't to blame.

Other people saw what had happened and saw the scratches on DS's face and they all reckoned I should tell the manager. Well, all he did was give me alcohol wipes and I can't blame him. He isn't the parent, so what can HE do about it?

This whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. How would YOU handle a situation like this when your child is the victim? How would YOU handle a situation like this when your child is the instigator?

I know kids will be kids and so I usually let things slide, but this wasn't a little scratch. Plus the girl was twice his size and profoundly refused to apologize and also had a very big mouth  unsure.gif
Do you think I overreacted? Should I have just let it slide with the "kids will be kids" motto instead of speaking to the parents?

When I see/hear DS pushing, hitting or just hurting another child, I make him apologize first and then he gets a stern talking to followed by "time out" which is the closest chair I can find. I then look for the parent and apologize for my son's behaviour as I know he can get a bit carried away just like any other child.



#2 EssentialBludger

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:31 PM

Wow, I'd be mortified if that were my daughter. A 7yo should know right from wrong. My 8yo wouldn't dream of hitting anyone, let alone someone half her size.

It sounds like she probably hasn't had any good role models. What sh*t parents. If she were mine, I would have removed her immediately and she wouldn't have been able to play again.

Your poor boy. sad.gif

#3 littleboysmum

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:32 PM

I would have been annoyed and upset too OP. Some people do not raise their children to have manners at all. In saying that I would probably have left.

I would have been annoyed and upset too OP. Some people do not raise their children to have manners at all. In saying that I would probably have left.

#4 Lady Garden

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:35 PM

I wonder what would have happened if you had asked them for their details so you could send them a bill for a check-up at the doctor for the injury. I would've asked them just to see how the parents reacted.

#5 Splodge83

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

I have a 7 y/o daughter and if she behaved that way I would be absolutely mortified! She would have been made to apologise absolutely, to your son and to you for being so rude. There is no way she would have been allowed to get away with that.

I would not have let her on the bouncy castle with a skipping rope to begin with, that in itself is odd. I also have a zero tolerance to bullying and a 7 y/o doing that to a 3 y/o, she would have been told to apologise and then removed from the area. Not for time out removed completely until the next visit. At 7 she is old enough to know right from wrong and certainly old enough to know not to hit/scratch a 3 y/o child.

Your poor boy. I hope you are both ok.

Edited by Splodge83, 24 January 2013 - 03:40 PM.


#6 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

QUOTE (EssentialBludger @ 24/01/2013, 04:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow, I'd be mortified if that were my daughter. A 7yo should know right from wrong. My 8yo wouldn't dream of hitting anyone, let alone someone half her size [unless it was her brother].

It sounds like she probably hasn't had any good role models. What sh*t parents. If she were mine, I would have removed her immediately and she wouldn't have been able to play again.

Your poor boy. sad.gif


Agree with everything EB said above (with my modification in bold). I'm sorry that your little guy was hurt, and I feel even more sorry for the trajectory that little girl is on. Can you imagine what that type of behaviour looks like at 12 and 13?! Poor girl!

#7 ~sydblue~

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:45 PM

I would have been demanding my money for the unfinished meals back, and then leaving.
The restaurant were quite within their rights to tell the girls family to take her elsewhere. We used to go to a place with the same sort of setup, and they would ban kids from the kids area for bad behaviour.

#8 FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:19 PM

That's a "find the parent" moment. Most 7 year olds aren't like that (my DD7 would only hit her brother who is twice the size of her - which she's disciplined for, mind you).

Little Madame will no doubt get her comeuppance one day, and I'm sure her parents will wonder where it all went wrong!

What a little snot!


Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 24 January 2013 - 04:20 PM.


#9 Bathsheba52

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:28 PM

I would have tied her up in skipping rope and rolled her over to her parents and said "whoops, she seems to be tangled up." If the child accuses you, just deny, deny, deny (two can play!). I don't get invited out much.

#10 mad madam mim

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:34 PM

If it was my child that was hurt, I probably would have done exactly what you did, if it was my child hurting another, they would have had a stern talking to, told to say sorry and why they are sorry (I find having them say why they are sorry helps them understand why it is not nice to hit/tease etc), we then would have left straight away, I do not reward bad behaviour (that skipping rope would also be binned).

The manager could have told the parents to keep their daughter within sight at all times or to leave the restaurant, insisted on no toys on the bouncy castle etc. I don't think they did enough in your circumstances.

#11 sāta kōrsa

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:48 PM

QUOTE
Do you think I overreacted? Should I have just let it slide with the "kids will be kids" motto instead of speaking to the parents?
  
Yes I think you overreacted (in the way you handled it, not by being upset), but that doesn't mean that the only alternative was to let it slide.

QUOTE
This whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. How would YOU handle a situation like this when your child is the victim? How would YOU handle a situation like this when your child is the instigator?

If my three year old had been attacked and was bleeding my focus would be attending to his needs and keeping him safe.  I would probably approach the parents to inform them of their child's behaviour, not to try to get them to make her apologise.  I agree that of course she should have apologised, and it's sad for her that she isn't being given needed guidance but it really wasn't your place to discipline her.  

Then, if the girl's violent behaviour continued as you described, I would remove my DS from the situation.  I know, not fair that he misses out on playing there as long as he would have liked but you can't control another child and it would be the easiest way to keep him safe.  Another confrontation seemed inevitable at that point.

If I was the mother of the girl and if she didn't immediately apologise and stop harassing other children, I'd be taking her home.

Ed for spelling.

Edited by ++----++, 24 January 2013 - 04:50 PM.


#12 Domestic Goddess

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:53 PM



Some spray plaster finally made it stop oozing. Now he's constantly picking at it. Typical  rolleyes.gif

Edited by Domestic Goddess, 24 January 2013 - 05:02 PM.


#13 miinii

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:55 PM

sad.gif Your poor DS!! Those scratches are HORRIBLE!

My DD is 7 and there is no way she would have acted like that. Actually my other DD who has Just turned 5 wouldn't have acted like that.



#14 JustBeige

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:08 PM

Unfortunately you cant arrest people (or shoot them) for being a sh*t parent.

I would probably have done the same, though I may or may not have gotten my very loud and very cranky mummy face on when dealing with that type of brattiness.   I tend to have a "Excuse me!" reaction when a child speaks to me that way.


I would have complained and told the manager I wanted my money back and left.

If had been my child? They would have been in so. much. trouble. if they had done anything like that to anyone, let alone a smaller child.

I agree with PP who said that the manager could have and should have told the parents to not let the child on the castle with the rope. Very dangerous and neglectful and honestly they are opening themselves up to a very big public liability smackdown by allowing it to happen.

#15 sāta kōrsa

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:25 PM

Ouch, your poor DS!  On seeing that photo I'd add that I'd also tell the management about the situation.

#16 Domestic Goddess

Posted 24 January 2013 - 05:48 PM

When I told the manager about the skipping rope, he said he was going to check it out rightaway.The girl saw him walking towards the jumping castle and quickly got out and put it in her mums bag.

"Skipping rope??? WHAT skipping rope???" rant.gif

The manager then said he'll keep an eye out from now on. Yet he could not do anything about the child's behaviour as he wasn't the parent.
If these scratches somehow get infected, I am definitely sending the medical bill to the restaurant  mad.gif

#17 Sif

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:00 PM

QUOTE
dad said: "Ohhhh he's a big boy! He's tough and will get over it!"


rant.gif rant.gif rant.gif  

This really annoys me! What does being a boy have to do with needing an apology or not? Had the sexes been reversed I'm sure he wouldn't have been saying the same thing! Those scratches are horrible! She shouldn't have been on the jumping castle with a skipping rope in the first place, and enabling her attack on a small child is the worst kind of parenting - regardless of the child's sex!

Honestly, I don't think you overreacted at all.

#18 countrylivingmum

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:32 PM

Wow those are really bad scratches I would have done the SMS as you but after the2 nd incident I would have gone back to the manager and insisted he ask parents  to remove that girl from the play area he can do this and it should have been done.

#19 MrsLexiK

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

Your poor DS, I know I would have been mortified if that was my child! Well I hope I would be.

I was about 6 or 7 and there was a restaurant we used to go to and it had a play area and face painting. My sister and I got our faces painted and sometime later the fairy left but left her face paint. I came across a girl trying to paint my sisters face I told her off and told her no - the little brat sunk her teeth into my shoulder, I still remember that pain! I ended up with a big welt that we bruised. I do feel for your DH, hopefully he has no memory of it in years to come

#20 -*meh*-

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:36 PM

wow that was not what i had in my head when you said a scratch!

your poor boy!

I think i would have probably said some very abrupt and unsubtle words to both the parents and the girl involved.

#21 Canberra chick

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:51 PM

OMG, that is awful! If she was mine I would be mortified, she would have been told to apologise and had sme privilege taken away at home. And old not have been let back on the play equipment for the rest of our time there.
But then I ensure my two don't hog things at shows or places like Questacon,  and let others take a turn, do not barge past others etc etc. Sadly from observation it seems I'm just breeding a pair of suckers who are going to be walked over by less polite types. sad.gif
the fact that her parents thought it was OK for her to be plying with a skipping rope in that  area just says it all to me.

As to what I would do in your shoes? I think you did all you could do. You talked to the parents who seemed yelling to make their child make amends or change her behaviour.

#22 Freddie'sMum

Posted 24 January 2013 - 08:44 PM

Oh OP - your poor little boy.

What the hell did she scratch him with ?? Just her fingernails - they must be like razor blades.

I would have removed my little one from the trouble - but at the same time - I would have lost the plot with the parents of the little girl.  I hate that attitude about boys and rough play is OK because he's a boy.  Yeah right - so it's OK for a little boy to be scratched and hit is it ??  Rubbish  rant.gif

As for that little girl - her behaviour and talking back to you was just appalling - I don't know what I would have done on the spur of the moment - but what a horribly misbehaving little child.





#23 Domestic Goddess

Posted 25 January 2013 - 12:09 AM

I really did not like the talking back and the fingers in the ears while singing "na na nana na"
I had to control myself as I was tempted to crawl onto that jumping castle and give her nice smack on the bum as it was blatantly obvious that her parents are not the disciplining type.

Though had I done that, than I would have been the one in the wrong and yeah, let's not go there lol.

DS was screaming blue murder in the shower this evening. The warm water seemed to be painful on his face. Also he's having a cr@ppy night and not sleeping well. He's in my bed because every time he rolls over onto his left side, he winces and wakes up.
I wonder if the parents ever realized that the consequences of their daughter's actions, would follow me deep into the night and the early morning....


#24 Furthermore

Posted 25 January 2013 - 05:47 AM

That is terrible.  If it was my son I doubt I'd have asked for an apology, or approached the parents after the first incident (because I'm a woosie).  I'd probably have said 'That's not very nice.  Better stay away from her, she is mean.'

If it was my daughter, I'd be thouroughly embarrased by her behaviour and she'd be remaining at the table for the rest of the meal then going home with no further play time.  (Actually, if it were my daughter it wouldn't have happened, but if it did and I tried to enforce that, she'd scream the restaurant down so we'd scoff our food as fast as possible and leave with her screaming)

#25 VJs Mummy

Posted 25 January 2013 - 06:05 AM

If that was my daughter i would be abssoletly mortified she would be made to apologise straight away and to u for being so rude i can not stand disrepectful kids keep in mind my 7year old boy seem to be a bit disrespectful at the moment but no way would he just hurt someone,
I also would of gone up to the parent i think you were quite nice about it i dont know whether i would of been the first time maybe i would of been ok but definately not the 2nd time especially with those scratches hope your little man gets better soon




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