Jump to content

Question about reading invitations


  • Please log in to reply
29 replies to this topic

#1 Montro

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:39 PM

When reading an invitation, do you read the whole thing or stop half way through, thereby only getting half the information?

I'm a widow and last year I met a guy who seemed really great but is, I fear, a liar who takes me for an idiot.  We're not together anymore, but he's suggested a reconciliation.

This is the story.  He plays footy and his team decided on an interstate end-of-season getaway.  The guy planning it all produced the invitations on his PC on A4 sheets of paper, large lettering.  First event of the day was a winery tour, with lunch at the winery, then a male pampering/grooming session (massage, facial etc) at an long established, upmarket day spa.  Next was a strip club.  Strip club involved a private show, i.e. a shower show involving 3 female performers doing God knows what, in the shower.

Now, my ex claims that he didn't know about the strip club because he stopped reading the invitation after getting to the day spa bit.  He had the invitation on his bedside table for a good 3 months, and only glanced at it the one time, and then only read some of it, not all of it.

I won't go into the many discussions we had after that, but I saw the invitation and I can't believe that anyone would only read part of an invitation.  The strip club isn't really the issue here; it's the lying that bugs me.

Would anyone believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt?

#2 Riotproof

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:41 PM

No.

#3 ~faerydust~

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I can't think of any possible reason to only read half an invitation, sorry.

#4 Bluenomi

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

No. Is the RSVP info after the strip club bit? Cause it if is, and he rsvped he's busted

#5 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

It sounds like something stupid my DH would do as he never reads anything properly, but no I don't only read half an invitation.

Even if he didn't read the entire invitation surely others at the club would have spoken about this vile shower show. He would have most likely known about it beforehand regardless.

#6 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

No.

Trust your instincts on this one!

#7 Lyra

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:53 PM

I'm incredibly 'thingy' about not being late/not bringing the wrong thing/not wearing the wrong thing/being at the right location etc etc. So, I read and re-read invitations to make sure I have it all right. To answer your first question: No, I don't read half an invitation. In response to your second question: run, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars and be grateful you dodged a bullet

#8 Peppery

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

I probably wouldn't believe him but it would probably depend on how he reacted when you spoke to him about it. With my ex husband it was quite easy to tell when he was lying or 'stretching the truth' (his words)

#9 ellebelle

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

Is this the sticking point? The fact that he goes to strip shows and doesn't tell you? Or are there bigger issues? To me it sounds like someone back pedalling because he has offended you but wants to keep you on side. I would need to know more about timeframes ie. how long you had been going out when this occurred? Was he aware that you would be upset to know he went to it? etc

#10 strawberrycakes

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

He definetley read about the strip club. No one I know would not read the whole invitation.

#11 elizabethany

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

My DH would be likely to do that, he glances and ignores the details.  Though I would agree, chances are, he knew about it even without the invite.

#12 JECJEC

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

I wouldn't necessarily read an invite. Just glance at the essentials and then comeback to it at a later date.    On the date I may have a look to see where I have to be and when or the $$$.

#13 FluffyOscar

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:11 PM

This is my process for reading invitations:

1. open letter, realise it's an invitation.
2. look at the date
3. look at the time
4. look at the venue
5. put the invitation on the fridge

Within the next 24 hours I will re-read it any take in all the details. Do this daily for a couple of days, then weekly till the event.

There is no way I would have missed the bit about the strip bar in three months of having the invitation anywhere in my house.

I'm sorry OP, he is lying. I can tell you already know this, but are hoping it's not true.

#14 againagain

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

Even if he didn't read it I'm sure the "lads" would have been talking about it.

#15 Montro

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:14 PM

There was another lie afterwards.  He told me that they didn't end up going to the shower show because when they turned up at the club, they couldn't "get a good deal" on the shower show, so they left the club, without entering it, and went back to their hotel.  He claims he was just following the other guys, with absolutely no idea where they were going.  Yet, he remembered that the winery had quite a strict dress code for lunch, and he talked quite a bit about going to the day spa.  Hmmm ...  Didn't mention the strip club once.  He must think I came down in the last shower!

The next day I rang said strip club and was told that you don't just rock up to see a private shower show; they need to be booked in advance.  "Shower show" was mentioned on the invitation, so enquiries at least must have been made, and perhaps a booking.  He claims they didn't see it, but who knows?  

ellebelle - We weren't together long, but long enough to know that the guy is a liar.  Yes, he was backpeddling, and he can continue to pedal far, far away.  I'd rather he be honest than lie to me.

#16 starsg

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:17 PM


even if he didn't read it properly they would have been discussing it to death amongst themselves. no way he didn't know about it.

#17 anna76

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:19 PM

The invite is a joke.  

I know many men from different walks of life and can't name one that would attend
both a day spa and then a strip club.  It's either one or the other!!

Good on you Montro for realizing this guy is a tool.

#18 RedBob

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:21 PM

I can't see how he could have not known about the strip show.

Seriously, three naked women doing a faux lesbian set up in a shower? You cannot tell me that at least a few of the blokes on that tour would not have been discussing that little gem ad infinitum for many, many months prior to the trip.

#19 Chchgirl

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:33 PM

I always read the whole invite, and no, I wouldn't believe him. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

#20 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

He's having you on OP.

#21 Charlies Angel

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

I dunno... I reckon that there is a fair chance he stopped reading at the mention of Day Spa. On a footy trip??

To be honest, I wouldn't be too worried about a group of wine sippin' day-spa'ing boys heading to a strip club!

Breweries/ Casino/ Go Karting/ Strip Club? That would have me more concerned!

#22 ellebelle

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Yep - have to say I've never heard of men going to a day spa  on a footy trip!



#23 karen_tim_black

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:26 PM

If anything "sex activity" would pop right off the page for a skim reader.  
With flashing lights.
I'd give him the flick, like you have already anway.
xo

#24 Country (deci)Mel

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:30 PM

Bullet well dodged OP.

He's a big fat liar and I'm surprised he hasn't suffered 3rd degree burns on his backside.


No-one misses the words strip club on an invitation however lazy a reader they are.


#25 JustBeige

Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:12 AM

Sorry OP, but both your posts had my crap antenna wobbling like mad.

You have absolutely done the right thing in parting from him AND in not taking him back.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

Toddler freed after getting trapped in escalator

A shopping centre escalator needed to be pulled apart to free a toddler's trapped hand.

Why I'm kind of excited about my daughter's nits

Is it weird to say that I am secretly thrilled to find that my daughter Edie has nits?

Baby born at 10:11 on 12-13-14

Well, it's actually 13-12-14 to us over here. But still, Clare Elizabeth Keane's consecutive numerical birth time is pretty special.

On holding tightly and loving fiercely

We can't live in fear. This post is about Christmas and how at this time we should be celebrating life and grateful for what we have: our loved ones who we cherish fiercely.

Babies, relatives and coping with Christmas day

Everyone will love your baby but your baby may not be so happy to be passed around a lot of new people - nor may you want to feed with an audience.

Why I won't be posting pictures of my baby on Facebook

There are pros and cons to this policy.

The myths and truths of gender swaying

Here are a few popular methods hopeful parents-to-be use to try to get a baby of their preferred gender – and what an expert says about whether they really work.

10 easy DIY Christmas decoration ideas

It's officially time to get into the Christmas spirit. Why not branch out when you put up your tree this year and add a personal touch with a few DIY decorations? We've found the perfect easy-to-make ways to put more festive fever into your home.

The dangerous new trend of glucose challenge test refusal

A dangerous trend is seeing more mothers-to-be declining a relatively simple and painless test to check for gestational diabetes.

Office of Fair Trading reveals naughty toys ahead of Christmas

The Office of Fair Trading has pulled seven toys from shelves ahead of Christmas after they fail safety tests.

Video: Baby boy's trouble with twins

These twin girls will no doubt have fun fooling people in years to come, but nobody will be as confused as baby Landon.

Long-term reversible male contraceptive on its way

Men could soon have access to an injectable long-term contraceptive which works in a similar way to a vasectomy but promises to be easily reversed.

'I tried to kill my baby': one mum's story

After bathing and dressing her three-month-old son, Amanda had a rare moment alone with her baby.

Attack of the 'mummy brain'

I feel that almost every day, someone in my life - be they a friend, family member or complete stranger - feels the need to excuse my behaviour as I have other things on my mind.

Mum of baby who fell ill after drinking raw milk speaks out

A Melbourne mother has described how her son turned grey when he became seriously ill after drinking raw milk.

Australian divorce rate lowest since 1976

Modern newlyweds are now well into their 30s and marriage still offers something powerful a new book argues.

The aftermath of a traumatic birth experience

In Australia, 30 per cent of women find their birth experience traumatic, with 6 per cent going on to develop post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Young mum burns 'from inside-out'

A young mum is in intensive care after she took a friend's antibiotic and wound up with an ailment that is burning her body 'from the inside-out'.

The disagreement that can break a relationship

If he doesn't change his mind, all I can hope is that I will. It would be a waste to spend the rest of my marriage mourning a baby that never was.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Co-sleeping or no-sleeping? Mum videos worst nap ever

One mother's futile attempt to sleep in caught on camera in a hilarious - and very cute - video.

Why children misbehave during the festive season

While we all like to imagine the holiday season as being a fun, loving and bonding experience; often our reality is quiet different.

I was fat-shamed by my doctor

The fear of being weighed is the most significant factor in women cancelling medical appointments - and now weight-shaming has happened to me.

End of an era: no more childcare

As we reach the end of 2014, we're closing the book on many things for another year, most notably childcare. Our last child has attended childcare for the very last time.

WIN an exclusive performance from Sam Moran!

To celebrate the release of children?s musical series Play Along with Sam, out now on DVD, we?re giving one lucky parent the chance to have Sam perform at their child?s pre-school or day care!

The 7-year itch is more like the 10-year itch: study

Contrary to popular belief, making it past the seven-year mark doesn't mean your marriage will be smooth sailing from there on.

Should children be forced to sit on Santa's lap?

We teach kids it’s okay to say no if they don’t feel safe, so why do some parents force their children to climb in to Santa's lap?

Stop telling us that parenting gets harder

I’m sure that parenting will get harder. But life isn’t exactly smooth sailing for many of us right now, either.

Baby born weighing almost 14 pounds

Yes, the bouncing baby girl was born by caesarean section. And mum says no more kids.

The dummy debate

I'm the first to admit that when I used to see tiny babies with dummies in their mouths, I thought "Hmm, lazy parenting." And now I apologise.

'I thought I was an only child'

Imagine meeting your double at a school sports event, or regularly being mistaken for someone you haven't met. Separated twins Margaret and Joy tell their story.

Carers admit to force-feeding children

As Sydney grieves the loss of Sydney siege victims Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, reports have suggested that both died as heroes.

 

How many weeks til Christmas?

On your To-Do list

Get the "Santa" shopping done without the kids in tow.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.