Jump to content

Question about reading invitations

  • Please log in to reply
28 replies to this topic

#1 Montro

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:39 PM

When reading an invitation, do you read the whole thing or stop half way through, thereby only getting half the information?

I'm a widow and last year I met a guy who seemed really great but is, I fear, a liar who takes me for an idiot.  We're not together anymore, but he's suggested a reconciliation.

This is the story.  He plays footy and his team decided on an interstate end-of-season getaway.  The guy planning it all produced the invitations on his PC on A4 sheets of paper, large lettering.  First event of the day was a winery tour, with lunch at the winery, then a male pampering/grooming session (massage, facial etc) at an long established, upmarket day spa.  Next was a strip club.  Strip club involved a private show, i.e. a shower show involving 3 female performers doing God knows what, in the shower.

Now, my ex claims that he didn't know about the strip club because he stopped reading the invitation after getting to the day spa bit.  He had the invitation on his bedside table for a good 3 months, and only glanced at it the one time, and then only read some of it, not all of it.

I won't go into the many discussions we had after that, but I saw the invitation and I can't believe that anyone would only read part of an invitation.  The strip club isn't really the issue here; it's the lying that bugs me.

Would anyone believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt?

#2 Riotproof

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:41 PM


#3 ~faerydust~

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I can't think of any possible reason to only read half an invitation, sorry.

#4 Bluenomi

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

No. Is the RSVP info after the strip club bit? Cause it if is, and he rsvped he's busted

#5 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

It sounds like something stupid my DH would do as he never reads anything properly, but no I don't only read half an invitation.

Even if he didn't read the entire invitation surely others at the club would have spoken about this vile shower show. He would have most likely known about it beforehand regardless.

#6 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:49 PM


Trust your instincts on this one!

#7 Lyra

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:53 PM

I'm incredibly 'thingy' about not being late/not bringing the wrong thing/not wearing the wrong thing/being at the right location etc etc. So, I read and re-read invitations to make sure I have it all right. To answer your first question: No, I don't read half an invitation. In response to your second question: run, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars and be grateful you dodged a bullet

#8 Peppery

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

I probably wouldn't believe him but it would probably depend on how he reacted when you spoke to him about it. With my ex husband it was quite easy to tell when he was lying or 'stretching the truth' (his words)

#9 ellebelle

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

Is this the sticking point? The fact that he goes to strip shows and doesn't tell you? Or are there bigger issues? To me it sounds like someone back pedalling because he has offended you but wants to keep you on side. I would need to know more about timeframes ie. how long you had been going out when this occurred? Was he aware that you would be upset to know he went to it? etc

#10 strawberrycakes

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

He definetley read about the strip club. No one I know would not read the whole invitation.

#11 elizabethany

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

My DH would be likely to do that, he glances and ignores the details.  Though I would agree, chances are, he knew about it even without the invite.

#12 ///

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

I wouldn't necessarily read an invite. Just glance at the essentials and then comeback to it at a later date.    On the date I may have a look to see where I have to be and when or the $$$.

#13 againagain

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

Even if he didn't read it I'm sure the "lads" would have been talking about it.

#14 Montro

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:14 PM

There was another lie afterwards.  He told me that they didn't end up going to the shower show because when they turned up at the club, they couldn't "get a good deal" on the shower show, so they left the club, without entering it, and went back to their hotel.  He claims he was just following the other guys, with absolutely no idea where they were going.  Yet, he remembered that the winery had quite a strict dress code for lunch, and he talked quite a bit about going to the day spa.  Hmmm ...  Didn't mention the strip club once.  He must think I came down in the last shower!

The next day I rang said strip club and was told that you don't just rock up to see a private shower show; they need to be booked in advance.  "Shower show" was mentioned on the invitation, so enquiries at least must have been made, and perhaps a booking.  He claims they didn't see it, but who knows?  

ellebelle - We weren't together long, but long enough to know that the guy is a liar.  Yes, he was backpeddling, and he can continue to pedal far, far away.  I'd rather he be honest than lie to me.

#15 starsg

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:17 PM

even if he didn't read it properly they would have been discussing it to death amongst themselves. no way he didn't know about it.

#16 anna76

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:19 PM

The invite is a joke.  

I know many men from different walks of life and can't name one that would attend
both a day spa and then a strip club.  It's either one or the other!!

Good on you Montro for realizing this guy is a tool.

#17 ComradeBob

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:21 PM

I can't see how he could have not known about the strip show.

Seriously, three naked women doing a faux lesbian set up in a shower? You cannot tell me that at least a few of the blokes on that tour would not have been discussing that little gem ad infinitum for many, many months prior to the trip.

#18 Chchgirl

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:33 PM

I always read the whole invite, and no, I wouldn't believe him. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

#19 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

He's having you on OP.

#20 Charlies Angel

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

I dunno... I reckon that there is a fair chance he stopped reading at the mention of Day Spa. On a footy trip??

To be honest, I wouldn't be too worried about a group of wine sippin' day-spa'ing boys heading to a strip club!

Breweries/ Casino/ Go Karting/ Strip Club? That would have me more concerned!

#21 ellebelle

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Yep - have to say I've never heard of men going to a day spa  on a footy trip!

#22 karen_tim_black

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:26 PM

If anything "sex activity" would pop right off the page for a skim reader.  
With flashing lights.
I'd give him the flick, like you have already anway.

#23 HRH Countrymel

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:30 PM

Bullet well dodged OP.

He's a big fat liar and I'm surprised he hasn't suffered 3rd degree burns on his backside.

No-one misses the words strip club on an invitation however lazy a reader they are.

#24 JustBeige

Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:12 AM

Sorry OP, but both your posts had my crap antenna wobbling like mad.

You have absolutely done the right thing in parting from him AND in not taking him back.

#25 SeaPrincess

Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:21 AM

My DH probably would stop at the day spa part, pass it over to me and say have a read of this, so I'd be the one finding out about the strip club.

OP, you said large print on A4 pages, so more than 1 page? Depending on how many pages and where the info was, I can see not reading it all, but as pp's have said, there would have been a lot of discussion - there's no way he didn't know.

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users


Join the Real Mums Test Drive Team

Five new mums will join the Essential Baby Test Drive Team and discover great new baby toys from Fisher-Price & write a review to be published on Essential Baby.

Two children fall from second storey window

Two young boys have been rushed to hospital after falling out a second-storey window of a home in Eastwood.

Victorian Labor to introduce same-sex adoption laws

Thousands of same-sex couples with children will have the right to be jointly recognised as parents by Victorian law.

Sneak peek: Maxomorra bee dress, t-shirt and romper for babies

Cutest snap find on the planet - bee rompers, tees and dresses for babies.

Toddler found two days after going missing

A two-year-old girl who disappeared on Friday night from her great-grandparents' home in rural Ohio was found alive Sunday evening in a nearby field.

Dad builds the ultimate bed for his toddler son

The transition from cot to big kid bed might be a little easier if every toddler had a bed like this one.

Is Woolworths now cheaper than Coles?

Woolworths appears to have taken the upper hand in its price battle with Coles after investing millions of dollars lowering the cost of groceries, according to new figures.

Aussie babies and parents stranded in Nepal after surrogacy ban

Parents say Australian babies are being "kept captive" and cannot come home after a ban on commercial surrogacy in Nepal.

Wannabe dads left behind in IVF debate

If virgin women can become mothers through IVF, maybe we're ready for another miracle - genuine equality for men in the parenting debate.

The health and fitness lessons I've learned

What I once assumed about health and fitness is wrong.

Our angel baby story: Hunter James

I have two children: one living, the next an angel baby.

Newlyweds send bill to no-show guests

Planning a wedding can be stressful – and, as most newlyweds can attest, it can be very costly, too.

Your choice or theirs: the tug-of-war over baby names

They had just decided on a name they both agreed on, but then the grandparents threw in an offer of $10,000 in exchange for choosing something else.

Dad-to-be's tearful reaction to pregnancy news goes viral

After 17 years of trying, this man had given up hope of having a family.

Claire Danes: acting out postnatal depression was difficult

Actress Claire Danes found it difficult pretending to have postnatal depression in Homeland, as she had just become a new mother herself.

The moment a 92-year-old meets her great grandaughter

It's a heart-warming photo this family will treasure forever.

How to prepare for breastfeeding when you're still pregnant

While every woman's breastfeeding journey is different, many hurdles are shared. Knowing what to expect will enable you to make informed decisions if - or when - you meet challenges along the way.

Sneak peek: new Love Mae bamboo dinnerware designs

We do love ourselves some brand new designs in tried and true products. The renowned bamboo dinnerware from Love Mae has just had several more members join the family, in addition to a brand new website.

Mum who killed paedophile gets reduced sentence

A mother-of-five who killed a paedophile has had her jail sentence reduced by a judge who described her case as a "truly exceptional" one.

Sneak peek: Geleeo self-cooling pram & high chair liners

We just spotted Geleeo, a brand new self-cooling pram liner you can buy in time for summer.

Toddler's silent debate with mum about naptime

He might not utter a single word - but this toddler is having a great debate with his mother about nap time.


What's hot on EB

Stella McCartney honours mum with lacy bra

Fashion designer Stella McCartney has honoured her late mum, Linda McCartney, by designing a special bra for post-mastectomy patients.

Don't panic: A granddad midwife's guide for dads-to-be

Mark Harris has helped deliver 500 babies. And he's now telling fathers what to expect.

How to be a calm parent when you're feeling anything but

Being a calm parent takes a lot of work, sometimes more than is obvious to those around us.

The joy and isolation of being a stay-at-home dad

It's cool, kind of like a second childhood. I love him to bits and think, on average, I'm an okay dad. But I also want to talk about the other stuff.

How baby Teddy's short life is helping save thousands of lives

He may have only lived for 100 minutes, but that didn't stop baby Teddy from saving the lives of others.

A heartbreaking trail of missed chances in death of baby forgotten in car

A haunting reminder to stay mindful about babies in cars, especially as we approach summer.

What to do if your baby has tongue-tie

Tongue-tie can cause feeding problems. However once it is diagnosed, the condition can be easily treated.

How to move house without losing your mind

Some people move frequently, while others like to stay put. But everyone finds it stressful.

'She had nowhere to go': how new mum's life began to unravel

The birth of her first child should have been happiest of times for Campsie mother Phuong Cao, but friends say it marked the beginning of when her life began to unravel. 

Women giving birth to a son keep some of his Y chromosomes

It was an experiment doomed to failure - they were looking for male cells in female bodies. And their search was stunningly successful.

Photos: How babies fit in the womb

A gorgeous photo series shows babies in the first hours after their birth - as they were positioned in the womb.

Baby tries to persuade stubborn bulldog to walk, fails

We don't know what he's saying, but this baby has a very clear message for his bulldog pal: let's walk - NOW.

The best toddler gift ever? Nine gender-neutral play kitchen picks

Without a doubt, one of the best gifts for a toddler turning two or three is a play kitchen.

9 easy steps to improve your baby photography

With a few simple tips you can take your images from random happy snaps to lovely clean images that create beautiful lasting memories.



Can't decide?

Check out the Essential Baby Names section for some inspiration

Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.