Jump to content

Question about reading invitations


  • Please log in to reply
30 replies to this topic

#1 Montro

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:39 PM

When reading an invitation, do you read the whole thing or stop half way through, thereby only getting half the information?

I'm a widow and last year I met a guy who seemed really great but is, I fear, a liar who takes me for an idiot.  We're not together anymore, but he's suggested a reconciliation.

This is the story.  He plays footy and his team decided on an interstate end-of-season getaway.  The guy planning it all produced the invitations on his PC on A4 sheets of paper, large lettering.  First event of the day was a winery tour, with lunch at the winery, then a male pampering/grooming session (massage, facial etc) at an long established, upmarket day spa.  Next was a strip club.  Strip club involved a private show, i.e. a shower show involving 3 female performers doing God knows what, in the shower.

Now, my ex claims that he didn't know about the strip club because he stopped reading the invitation after getting to the day spa bit.  He had the invitation on his bedside table for a good 3 months, and only glanced at it the one time, and then only read some of it, not all of it.

I won't go into the many discussions we had after that, but I saw the invitation and I can't believe that anyone would only read part of an invitation.  The strip club isn't really the issue here; it's the lying that bugs me.

Would anyone believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt?

#2 Riotproof

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:41 PM

No.

#3 ~faerydust~

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I can't think of any possible reason to only read half an invitation, sorry.

#4 Bluenomi

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

No. Is the RSVP info after the strip club bit? Cause it if is, and he rsvped he's busted

#5 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM

It sounds like something stupid my DH would do as he never reads anything properly, but no I don't only read half an invitation.

Even if he didn't read the entire invitation surely others at the club would have spoken about this vile shower show. He would have most likely known about it beforehand regardless.

#6 baddmammajamma

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

No.

Trust your instincts on this one!

#7 Lyra

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:53 PM

I'm incredibly 'thingy' about not being late/not bringing the wrong thing/not wearing the wrong thing/being at the right location etc etc. So, I read and re-read invitations to make sure I have it all right. To answer your first question: No, I don't read half an invitation. In response to your second question: run, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars and be grateful you dodged a bullet

#8 Peppery

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

I probably wouldn't believe him but it would probably depend on how he reacted when you spoke to him about it. With my ex husband it was quite easy to tell when he was lying or 'stretching the truth' (his words)

#9 ellebelle

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

Is this the sticking point? The fact that he goes to strip shows and doesn't tell you? Or are there bigger issues? To me it sounds like someone back pedalling because he has offended you but wants to keep you on side. I would need to know more about timeframes ie. how long you had been going out when this occurred? Was he aware that you would be upset to know he went to it? etc

#10 strawberrycakes

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

He definetley read about the strip club. No one I know would not read the whole invitation.

#11 elizabethany

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

My DH would be likely to do that, he glances and ignores the details.  Though I would agree, chances are, he knew about it even without the invite.

#12 JECJEC

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

I wouldn't necessarily read an invite. Just glance at the essentials and then comeback to it at a later date.    On the date I may have a look to see where I have to be and when or the $$$.

#13 FluffyOscar

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:11 PM

This is my process for reading invitations:

1. open letter, realise it's an invitation.
2. look at the date
3. look at the time
4. look at the venue
5. put the invitation on the fridge

Within the next 24 hours I will re-read it any take in all the details. Do this daily for a couple of days, then weekly till the event.

There is no way I would have missed the bit about the strip bar in three months of having the invitation anywhere in my house.

I'm sorry OP, he is lying. I can tell you already know this, but are hoping it's not true.

#14 againagain

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

Even if he didn't read it I'm sure the "lads" would have been talking about it.

#15 Montro

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:14 PM

There was another lie afterwards.  He told me that they didn't end up going to the shower show because when they turned up at the club, they couldn't "get a good deal" on the shower show, so they left the club, without entering it, and went back to their hotel.  He claims he was just following the other guys, with absolutely no idea where they were going.  Yet, he remembered that the winery had quite a strict dress code for lunch, and he talked quite a bit about going to the day spa.  Hmmm ...  Didn't mention the strip club once.  He must think I came down in the last shower!

The next day I rang said strip club and was told that you don't just rock up to see a private shower show; they need to be booked in advance.  "Shower show" was mentioned on the invitation, so enquiries at least must have been made, and perhaps a booking.  He claims they didn't see it, but who knows?  

ellebelle - We weren't together long, but long enough to know that the guy is a liar.  Yes, he was backpeddling, and he can continue to pedal far, far away.  I'd rather he be honest than lie to me.

#16 starsg

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:17 PM


even if he didn't read it properly they would have been discussing it to death amongst themselves. no way he didn't know about it.

#17 anna76

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:19 PM

The invite is a joke.  

I know many men from different walks of life and can't name one that would attend
both a day spa and then a strip club.  It's either one or the other!!

Good on you Montro for realizing this guy is a tool.

#18 FeralBob!

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:21 PM

I can't see how he could have not known about the strip show.

Seriously, three naked women doing a faux lesbian set up in a shower? You cannot tell me that at least a few of the blokes on that tour would not have been discussing that little gem ad infinitum for many, many months prior to the trip.

#19 Chchgirl

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:33 PM

I always read the whole invite, and no, I wouldn't believe him. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

#20 EsmeLennox

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:36 PM

He's having you on OP.

#21 Charlies Angel

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

I dunno... I reckon that there is a fair chance he stopped reading at the mention of Day Spa. On a footy trip??

To be honest, I wouldn't be too worried about a group of wine sippin' day-spa'ing boys heading to a strip club!

Breweries/ Casino/ Go Karting/ Strip Club? That would have me more concerned!

#22 ellebelle

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:13 PM

Yep - have to say I've never heard of men going to a day spa  on a footy trip!



#23 Cat People

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:21 PM

QUOTE (Charlies Angel @ 24/01/2013, 04:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I dunno... I reckon that there is a fair chance he stopped reading at the mention of Day Spa. On a footy trip??


That was my first thought too.  

I really can understand someone not reading the whole invite; especially if it's one containing lots of information.

Don't discount your instincts thought OP.  If you get a bad 'vibe' from the guy (and you're not normally paranoid) and there has been more than just this incident, I would move on.


#24 karen_tim_black

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:26 PM

If anything "sex activity" would pop right off the page for a skim reader.  
With flashing lights.
I'd give him the flick, like you have already anway.
xo

#25 CountryFeral

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:30 PM

Bullet well dodged OP.

He's a big fat liar and I'm surprised he hasn't suffered 3rd degree burns on his backside.


No-one misses the words strip club on an invitation however lazy a reader they are.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

An open letter to Tony Abbott: please salvage our super

We face financial ruin, but most of us don?t realise it. If we don?t act together to salvage our superannuation, I have no doubt the new GFC will be the Girls? Financial Crisis.

'I'm happy to know I'm changing lives': surrogate mum of two

I know that once the baby is born, I will focus on the gift I have given, and watch the parents with their new child. I can't wait for that day.

Birth trauma and the issue of informed consent

There is a perception that women should just be happy they have a healthy baby in their arms. But for women who experienced birth trauma, there's a lot more to it.

Tips for managing pollen allergies and hayfever

They're simple tips, but they can have a big impact on those who suffer from hayfever and pollen allergies.

Ada Nicodemou shares tribute to her stillborn baby

Just over one month since Ada Nicodemou and her husband lost their second son, the Home and Away star has shared a touching poem for her baby.

Mum causes stir breastfeeding on train

?To the woman breastfeeding her kid on the train. Seriously! On the train?" began the letter of complaint.

10 things they don?t tell you about being pregnant

As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

Tales from the homefront

When you're at work you sort of assume that your house is basically just sitting there quietly doing nothing until you return. However, since spending my days at home, I've learned this couldn't be further from the truth.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Baby survives five days alone

He lay with his mother for up to five days after she died of a suspected drug overdose - and survived.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

Reader offer

2 FOR 1 TICKET OFFER

For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.