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Question about reading invitations
29 replies to this topic
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:39 PM
When reading an invitation, do you read the whole thing or stop half way through, thereby only getting half the information?
I'm a widow and last year I met a guy who seemed really great but is, I fear, a liar who takes me for an idiot. We're not together anymore, but he's suggested a reconciliation.
This is the story. He plays footy and his team decided on an interstate end-of-season getaway. The guy planning it all produced the invitations on his PC on A4 sheets of paper, large lettering. First event of the day was a winery tour, with lunch at the winery, then a male pampering/grooming session (massage, facial etc) at an long established, upmarket day spa. Next was a strip club. Strip club involved a private show, i.e. a shower show involving 3 female performers doing God knows what, in the shower.
Now, my ex claims that he didn't know about the strip club because he stopped reading the invitation after getting to the day spa bit. He had the invitation on his bedside table for a good 3 months, and only glanced at it the one time, and then only read some of it, not all of it.
I won't go into the many discussions we had after that, but I saw the invitation and I can't believe that anyone would only read part of an invitation. The strip club isn't really the issue here; it's the lying that bugs me.
Would anyone believe him and give him the benefit of the doubt?
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:42 PM
I can't think of any possible reason to only read half an invitation, sorry.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM
No. Is the RSVP info after the strip club bit? Cause it if is, and he rsvped he's busted
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:46 PM
It sounds like something stupid my DH would do as he never reads anything properly, but no I don't only read half an invitation.
Even if he didn't read the entire invitation surely others at the club would have spoken about this vile shower show. He would have most likely known about it beforehand regardless.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:53 PM
I'm incredibly 'thingy' about not being late/not bringing the wrong thing/not wearing the wrong thing/being at the right location etc etc. So, I read and re-read invitations to make sure I have it all right. To answer your first question: No, I don't read half an invitation. In response to your second question: run, do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars and be grateful you dodged a bullet
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM
I probably wouldn't believe him but it would probably depend on how he reacted when you spoke to him about it. With my ex husband it was quite easy to tell when he was lying or 'stretching the truth' (his words)
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:55 PM
Is this the sticking point? The fact that he goes to strip shows and doesn't tell you? Or are there bigger issues? To me it sounds like someone back pedalling because he has offended you but wants to keep you on side. I would need to know more about timeframes ie. how long you had been going out when this occurred? Was he aware that you would be upset to know he went to it? etc
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM
He definetley read about the strip club. No one I know would not read the whole invitation.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:57 PM
My DH would be likely to do that, he glances and ignores the details. Though I would agree, chances are, he knew about it even without the invite.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:01 PM
I wouldn't necessarily read an invite. Just glance at the essentials and then comeback to it at a later date. On the date I may have a look to see where I have to be and when or the $$$.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:11 PM
This is my process for reading invitations:
1. open letter, realise it's an invitation.
2. look at the date
3. look at the time
4. look at the venue
5. put the invitation on the fridge
Within the next 24 hours I will re-read it any take in all the details. Do this daily for a couple of days, then weekly till the event.
There is no way I would have missed the bit about the strip bar in three months of having the invitation anywhere in my house.
I'm sorry OP, he is lying. I can tell you already know this, but are hoping it's not true.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:13 PM
Even if he didn't read it I'm sure the "lads" would have been talking about it.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:14 PM
There was another lie afterwards. He told me that they didn't end up going to the shower show because when they turned up at the club, they couldn't "get a good deal" on the shower show, so they left the club, without entering it, and went back to their hotel. He claims he was just following the other guys, with absolutely no idea where they were going. Yet, he remembered that the winery had quite a strict dress code for lunch, and he talked quite a bit about going to the day spa. Hmmm ... Didn't mention the strip club once. He must think I came down in the last shower!
The next day I rang said strip club and was told that you don't just rock up to see a private shower show; they need to be booked in advance. "Shower show" was mentioned on the invitation, so enquiries at least must have been made, and perhaps a booking. He claims they didn't see it, but who knows?
ellebelle - We weren't together long, but long enough to know that the guy is a liar. Yes, he was backpeddling, and he can continue to pedal far, far away. I'd rather he be honest than lie to me.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:17 PM
even if he didn't read it properly they would have been discussing it to death amongst themselves. no way he didn't know about it.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:19 PM
The invite is a joke.
I know many men from different walks of life and can't name one that would attend
both a day spa and then a strip club. It's either one or the other!!
Good on you Montro for realizing this guy is a tool.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:21 PM
I can't see how he could have not known about the strip show.
Seriously, three naked women doing a faux lesbian set up in a shower? You cannot tell me that at least a few of the blokes on that tour would not have been discussing that little gem ad infinitum for many, many months prior to the trip.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:33 PM
I always read the whole invite, and no, I wouldn't believe him. It would be a dealbreaker for me.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:09 PM
I dunno... I reckon that there is a fair chance he stopped reading at the mention of Day Spa. On a footy trip??
To be honest, I wouldn't be too worried about a group of wine sippin' day-spa'ing boys heading to a strip club!
Breweries/ Casino/ Go Karting/ Strip Club? That would have me more concerned!
Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:13 PM
Yep - have to say I've never heard of men going to a day spa on a footy trip!
Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:26 PM
If anything "sex activity" would pop right off the page for a skim reader.
With flashing lights.
I'd give him the flick, like you have already anway.
Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:30 PM
Bullet well dodged OP.
He's a big fat liar and I'm surprised he hasn't suffered 3rd degree burns on his backside.
No-one misses the words strip club on an invitation however lazy a reader they are.
Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:12 AM
Sorry OP, but both your posts had my crap antenna wobbling like mad.
You have absolutely done the right thing in parting from him AND in not taking him back.
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