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Give me your reasons Not to have child #5


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#1 Nofliesonme

Posted 24 January 2013 - 04:33 AM

As the title suggest. Tell me your negatives

#2 Mama8

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:38 AM

You might want #6 after that Tounge1.gif

#3 podg

Posted 24 January 2013 - 06:43 AM

Money. And busy-ness - getting people to their various destinations, activities, parties, friends, jobs and interests is going to be difficult.

A few kids ago I would have said babysitting - grandparents don't look after our whole troop any more.

#4 Nofliesonme

Posted 24 January 2013 - 07:34 AM

Is it harder or do they generally slot in? Mama8 that is a huge concern original.gif lol. Is 5 really harder than 4? Is 6 harder than 5??? Lol

Oh and we don't really have anyone to babysit for us anyway. Grandad does occasionally but he would take all of them original.gif

Edited by thunda, 24 January 2013 - 07:35 AM.


#5 QueenIanthe

Posted 24 January 2013 - 09:47 AM

I can't help you. My fifth child is wonderful.

Except of course any child you have costs money.

I found my biggest adjustment was from 3-4.

#6 Cat©

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:16 AM

I found that after #3 (which was a nightmare IMO learning that I needed to be an octopus - three kids that all did runners and only two hands OMG).

However after that it was all good, I really didnt notice #4 and #5, they just kind of blended in no issues. I guess a lot of it depends on ages.

PP is right that when you have #5 you might want #6, I still do but Im past that age now.

#7 MrsLexiK

Posted 24 January 2013 - 11:24 AM

I am not a large family but I do come from one original.gif (but due to mix marriages not all blood) I was talking to one of my relatives who just had their 5th she said she would like more but their 4th does have SN's and there is no way they would be able to afford another with SN's either the same as their 4th or even needing more time and money.  So if you had 5 could you afford the 6th need medical invention? or could you afford for the 5th as it is at present to need medical intervention?

#8 sparassidae

Posted 24 January 2013 - 01:41 PM

Our #5 made me content to stop and happily sent DH for the snip wink.gif

Life goes through periods of chaos and slightly less chaos, most of the time though I feel very stretched thin.

If we didn't have chronic health problems and ASD in the mix it may be different.

I was actually having a cry to DH yesterday about this. I had appts with two specialists this week about two children, and feeling like I just can't do it- basically the amount of work and attention as if I had two 2 yos instead of them being 13 and almost 9. In addition to a tween 11 yo who is starting to act way too emotionally needy, a 4yo who likes to act like a baby and still tantrums when he doesn't like something, and a 6yo who I feel misses out on any attention.

As I said to DH, when we planned a big family we couldn't have predicted these extra needs and I never realised how draining it would be.

I don't regret any of them, but... Yeah. Chaos and fatigue.

#9 Mumma Mash

Posted 24 January 2013 - 01:55 PM

I've just had my 5th, he's a week old now.

I am in love and am so glad we had him, however we had a exhausting pg and a difficult labour thst ended in an emergancy c/s, and the recovery is horrible. So for me this is it as sad as I am that it's over I know it's the right time. DH is getting his vasectomy t omorrow original.gif

#10 bec4

Posted 24 January 2013 - 03:18 PM

As most of the other families have said - its the time factor I find hard.  They all need to be in different places at different times, School, Kindy, work, sport, appointments etc etc.  I sometimes feel like I am stretched a little thin.

It is also hard to attend everything with a two year old in tow - especially the older two boys sport and school things.  I know this will get easier when he stops running away at every opportunity though.

I don't find the money issue a major factor, 4 kids cost alot one more doesn't really matter. I do notice more washing though.

Bec

Edited by bec4, 24 January 2013 - 03:18 PM.


#11 CafeCat

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:37 PM

I cannot imagine that my life would be any less tiring, less busy, less stressed if I had one less child. The difference between 4 to 5 in this instance is negligible.


Edited by CafeCat, 10 July 2013 - 12:09 PM.


#12 hm6

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:48 PM

I think if you have to ask then you've probably got the answer there for yourself -be honest with yourself. Everyone has their limit its peronl -for some its 1 and for others it's 8 -you just need to think about your emotional limit. No ones family  size is perfect but it should feel perfect for you.

#13 Fillyjonk

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:49 PM

Do it! I am child #5 in my family and obviously child #5 is the best!!

I would have five of my own if I was better at procreating (and if my husband would come to the party!)

#14 mumto4boys

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:51 PM

Reason not to have a 5th?

Homework.


wink.gif


I didn't find baby and toddler years an issue at all, it is just how busy everything gets as they get older. Fitting in sport and other activities and homework.

My kids always did their homework happily but getting through high school, keeping up with who had what to do and when took a lot more energy than looking after babies did.


It's funny because I saw a gorgeous little baby at the shops today and still got a bit clucky, but I honestly just couldn't have kept up the energy all the way through with one more. DS4 will be in Year 12 this year and I will be so happy when the school years are finally over. I love them being at uni, no one ever expects a parent to be involved with that stuff biggrin.gif


#15 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 24 January 2013 - 10:53 PM

My uterus would fall out and drag on the ground behind me as I walked.

And that's my reason for not having #4  wink.gif

It's not a good look.



#16 nessrose

Posted 25 January 2013 - 10:16 AM

Our #5 is only 9 months old and has slotted in perfectly. I'm extremely glad we had her.

Our twins are off to school with their big sister this year, so hopefully it will make things easier for the time being. It is tricky sometimes putting her to sleep with the others running around, but she has gotten used to noise pretty quickly. She gets dragged around to different things a lot so has had to get used to sleeping in the car, pram or sling.

Having said that though, DH had the snip recently. Not sure if it was more to do with the number of kids or the fact we have 5 girls!

#17 applepie83

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:04 AM

The environment... overpopulation.

#18 Sunny003

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:15 AM

QUOTE
My uterus would fall out and drag on the ground behind me as I walked.

And that's my reason for not having #4  

It's not a good look.


This! And I'd have to give birth again.  mellow.gif


#19 crazyhappy

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:23 AM

i've just had number 4, and though i am sad I'm 95% sure that this is it. Our reasons for not having more are time and noise! I worry that I wouldn't have enough time for each child if we had more, and also the noise level drives me crazy.

#20 NunSoFeral

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:27 AM

QUOTE (LeChatNinjah @ 24/01/2013, 10:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My uterus would fall out and drag on the ground behind me as I walked.

And that's my reason for not having #4  wink.gif

It's not a good look.


There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many chiildren
Her uterus fell out

For me, it is both DP and I's age.
And being stretched emotionally, mentally and physically (in terms of time restraints)

If I had a nanny/housekeeper to do the trench work - cooking/cleaning/school pick ups/homework) and we were younger, I'd have more in a flash.

Still can't help but wonder - I must have looked at Cherish's new baby eleventy jillion times
I loved being pregnant and having babies.
I was good at it.
Parenting bit - yeah, not so sure.

As for cost and upsizing - everything had to bigger for No 4 - in our case, I couldn't see how no 5 would require upsizing on that scale.
Excpet my undies of course.


#21 robot sm

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:38 AM

5 teenagers!! original.gif

#22 Rosalita

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:44 AM

My difficulties with having five children, ranging in age from 10yo to 3yo?

- our #4 child has some food & sensory issues which in turn affect his behaviour, which would in turn affect the entire household (screaming tanties lasting up to an hour, physically hurting siblings etc) He has been a hard child to raise, (lots of tears from me & sobs of "I just CANT raise this child, I don't know WHAT to do") but now (5yo) he has settled down significantly, due to diet, OT, speech for the last two years, so things are easier in the regard (though #5 does mimic some behaviours, so that is now the struggle)

- Taking them places. School holidays, its hot, DH is back at work, would love to take them to the pool/beach, but I just can't keep an eye on everyone at the same time. I have found that to be one of the biggest things now they are getting a little older & the maccas playground or the little park near our home, just doesn't cut it as fun for the older ones anymore.

- Before/after school activities. This is freaking hard! Last year out of five school days, we had two mornings & four afternoons we were out & our kids have a pretty minimal activity list, but with five doing one thing each?

- Crying. Babies cry. I think this was one of the things I remember most, when the baby (or toddler) was crying & then someone would come ask me for something & the phone would ring & I'd have to pee & then the other two would get into a fight over the remote/couch/drink/air they breathe, someone wants dinner & someone else has taken one too many cookies, so someone else starts yelling at me about it & the bloody baby is STILL crying, though I've fed, burped, changed, rocked, carried, sang & fed again for the past two hours, he's STILL crying. This affected me so much, it made me up-tight and snappy & the easiest, smallest thing just became such an effort.

These are probably the things I found the hardest, getting them in & out the car, though we did have five in a harnesses & carseats at a time for a couple of years, now we're down to two in carseats (YAY!)

I won't lie, I have on a few occasions (maybe a few too many sometimes LOL) thought how much easier life would have been if we'd stopped at two or three or even four. I remember back when we just had the older three & life was calm, they were obviously younger, but personality wise they are just calmer kids than #4 & #5

It's funny I was incredibly clucky the other day, happens so rarely these days that I was quite taken aback at the feeling LOL, that sorted itself out though, with a night of barely three hours of broken sleep due to #5 up & down for the night & then #4 coming into our room at some god forsaken time & I thought "how the hell did I do that for so many years with newborns"?

But none of that will change your mind if you're hell bent on doing it, the want/need/desire for a child can be so strong, it overwhelms most logical arguments.

I wouldn't change our family, but #4 & #5 certainly changed the dynamics in a BIG way.

Edited by MummyPig, 25 January 2013 - 11:46 AM.


#23 Rosalita

Posted 25 January 2013 - 11:47 AM

And this, yes!

QUOTE
I loved being pregnant and having babies.
I was good at it.
Parenting bit - yeah, not so sure.


#24 nessrose

Posted 25 January 2013 - 08:31 PM

Oh yeah, 5 teenage girls at once. That's my reason!

#25 Fabulous

Posted 25 January 2013 - 09:11 PM

Our #5 has special needs (this may change though) and because he is so full on it does make raising 5 children much harder.

I always thought things would get easier as my kids got older but it hasn't. Older kids require less hands on work but their emotional needs tend to become more complicated.

The logistics just become harder the more kids you have and this year I have to get 5 kids off to school, do homework, play dates, after school activities. 5 dental appointments every 6 months etc. 5 of everything really adds up to be a lot of busyness.

Edited by Fabulous, 25 January 2013 - 09:13 PM.





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