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So... Who is right?


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#1 ShamelesslyPooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I just got reprimanded by a relative for the following...

DS (11 months) was pretty ratty this morning while we were out shopping. He fell asleep in the car so when we got home I parked in the garage which is connected to the house, wound down the windows and I left him there with the door between garage and house while I brought in the shopping. I put it away, and then started hanging up some laundry on the clothesline in the back yard, there wasn't a lot so I would have been there five minutes, tops.

Door bell rings, it's a relative who has dropped by unexpectedly seeking a cup of tea between doing things. No worries. I pop the kettle on and tell her I just need to hang the last few things and will be right back. When I come back in she looks puzzled and asks where DS is (I figure she must have gone to look at him sleeping in his cot and he wasn't there). I tell her and she looks mortified. "Sweetie, you can't leave him out there! He shouldn't be left in a car. You were out the back yard, you can't hear him out there! I'll go bring him in". And I'm standing there like a stunned mullet, then "um, no, he is fine". Her "it's ok, I'll got get him, I want to see him anyway" me: "ah, no, let him nap, he will be up soon for his lunch anyway and can have a proper nap this afternoon". She gets all eyerolly, drinks her tea fast, then leaves and makes heaps of noise and calls out to him on her way out, then smugly notes he is awake now anyway and leaves.

Thinking about it, she was just genuinely horrified and I'm sure thinks she was doing me a big favour by telling me, but I have steam coming out of my ears.

For some context, DS is a sh*t sleeper, would not have transferred to his cot in a million years, it was not hot in the car or garage.

So, was she right to tell me off, or was what I was doing fine?

#2 andthethreebears

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:44 PM

I'm 100% on your side!

#3 bakesgirls

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:47 PM

For me it depends on the temperature for the day. Cold day, no worries, as long as I was able to check on the child frquently. Hot or even just a warm day, no, I wouldn't do it. I'd also make sure the garage door was closed for safety reasons and leave the internal garage door into the house open.

From what you have described though, I'm on your side.

EFS

Edited by bakesgirls, 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM.


#4 iheartu

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:48 PM

WT the Effin F... Some people hey?!? I would have done the same in your position original.gif

#5 Helena Handbasket

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:48 PM

I'm with you too.

The car was cool, and garaged and you had the door open so you'd have heard him (maybe not when you were outside but you wouldn't have heard him outside if he was in his cot either)



#6 ShamelesslyPooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 23/01/2013, 03:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd also make sure the garage door was closed for safety reasons and leave the internal garage door into the house open.

Yes I did that, should have clarified. I also popped in there a few times to check on him.

#7 McFly

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

I have left my sleeping kids in the car before! Our garage is connected to the house.  The sliding door opens to our lounge room.  I have not been doing it lately as it has been too hot where we are but other times, I don't see it as a problem.  


#8 BadCat

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:51 PM

Simple.  She's wrong.

#9 TheGreenSheep

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

QUOTE (andthethreebears @ 23/01/2013, 03:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm 100% on your side!


Me too!

#10 *~dee~*

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

I used to do this sometimes in the cooler weather too. DD would never transfer to her cot, and then go without a proper nap and be intolerable for the rest of the day.

Pfffft, some people!

#11 dotty27

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

I do it all the time, but also depends on temp.

#12 BreezaH

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

I would've done the same as you - I have left DS1 in a car before to sleep. I was never able to get either of my boys out of the car without waking them! I think in a garage, windows down, door to house open is perfectly fine on a mild day. No different to having them in a bedroom with the door closed.

#13 ShamelesslyPooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 23/01/2013, 03:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Pooks, even if your baby was in the cot in the room, I feel that it's really rude and intrusive for anyone to just go wander in like that. I would never do that to someone, and I'd be really angry if someone did it with my kids

Yes... I am wondering if she just wanted to see the baby and exaggerated the car thing in the hopes I'd wake him and she would see him :s

She has a history of digging at me about my parenting style, that I overindulge him, and that he only won't do things like sleep or travel well because I let him rule me. So I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive to a valid criticism or if she was just having another dig at me.

#14 Tesseract

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

The "Sweetie" bit would have really rubbed me the wrong way, totally patronising.

I wouldn't have minded a polite inquiry about the heat in the garage, but eye rolling and making noise = rude relative.

#15 Fr0g

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

I used to carry the removable capsule inside and when the kids were older, the whole car seat in and plonk it in the bedroom.  Then again, we didn't have a safe place to park the car in a cool garage.  If I did, I would do what you do.

I'm with camp You.

#16 mini mac

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:58 PM

She was out of line being so rude, despite what was probably just concern.

If it wasn't a particularly warm day, I would definitely do it, especially if DS1 had been very unsettled and cranky and really needed the rest. Garage door shut or slightly ajar, car doors all open and breeze aflowing, internal door open and me within hearing distance!

WE just moved and no longer have a garage with only a carport so its not an option anymore... cry1.gif

#17 ShamelesslyPooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

She has children my age and older and was doing the sweetie /eyeroll thing in a tone of exasperation, because I am frustrating and annoying to her with all the stupid things I do.

Like I said, I'm a bit annoyed.

But willing to accept maybe I got something wrong. Coz, I do. We all do, I guess.

#18 solongsuckers

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

I'm with you for sure

#19 Oriental lily

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

With my first dd it was oe of the only few places she would sleep for day naps.

As long as its cool and secure its perfectly fine in my books.

Just always make sure the engine is of .

#20 mini mac

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:03 PM

QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 23/01/2013, 12:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes... I am wondering if she just wanted to see the baby and exaggerated the car thing in the hopes I'd wake him and she would see him :s

She has a history of digging at me about my parenting style, that I overindulge him, and that he only won't do things like sleep or travel well because I let him rule me. So I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive to a valid criticism or if she was just having another dig at me.


OMG I have a family member that does this EVERY time she visits! So annoying. I'm so not strict with quiet and sleeping during the day (ie I don't clang around with the pots but I will make whatever noise I want and generally have music playing) but really hate it when people intentionally make loud noise just to wake a kid up for a cuddle or a play! mad.gif

#21 CallMeFeral

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:04 PM

She was WAY out of line!

How is in a garage with the doors/windows between you open any different from in their room, hearing wise???
And then to intentionally wake him - RUDE!

#22 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:05 PM

I'm a 'context is everything' person but it was pretty cool this morning and the garage is cool, no problem and I'm on your side.

I think (I may be wrong) the law is on her side though?

#23 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

If I come home and bub is asleep in his pram I leave him sleeping and park the pram in it's usual place in the garage. Our garage is under the house and I will hang the washing out while he is sleeping in the pram. I can't see too much difference between bub having a nap in the car while you are around the house and having a nap in his room, especially if the garage is connected to the house, it would just be like another room.

Sounds like a mother in law type of thig to criticise.

Edited by Dylan's Mummy, 23 January 2013 - 03:08 PM.


#24 steppy

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:09 PM

Even if she didn't approve, which is her prerogative, she didn't have to go and make sure he woke up and then leave. Nasty. Hate underhanded stuff like that.

#25 CallMeFeral

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:11 PM

QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 23/01/2013, 04:00 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
She has children my age and older and was doing the sweetie /eyeroll thing in a tone of exasperation, because I am frustrating and annoying to her with all the stupid things I do.


QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 23/01/2013, 03:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes... I am wondering if she just wanted to see the baby and exaggerated the car thing in the hopes I'd wake him and she would see him :s

She has a history of digging at me about my parenting style, that I overindulge him, and that he only won't do things like sleep or travel well because I let him rule me. So I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive to a valid criticism or if she was just having another dig at me.


Ooooh.... one of THOSE...

Well in that case you're perfectly entitled to ignore any advice she gives. Those "I know mummying better than you" sort of mums generally close their mind and stop learning anything when their first child is born, because they are so busy trying to prove how much they know that they never consider another point of view. It's a competitive thing for them. Nothing you do will ever be ok, and you'll always be ridiculous and inexperienced in their eyes.

The best diversion for the one of these in my life, is "SO... how are your kids?". Because if you let them even get STARTED on yours, there will be no end.

Even 2nd time round it will be like you are a novice. My SIL is like this, and when DS was about 5 months started again with the whole "oh just wait till he starts solids" and I replied "I do already HAVE one, you know..." and she was like "oh yeah but you know TWO on solids is different from ONE" yada yada yada. I could have 10 kids and she'd still consider me the inexperienced one.

Whatever. Smile, nod, and say "how are your kids?"





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