Jump to content

So... Who is right?


  • Please log in to reply
91 replies to this topic

#1 Feral_Pooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I just got reprimanded by a relative for the following...

DS (11 months) was pretty ratty this morning while we were out shopping. He fell asleep in the car so when we got home I parked in the garage which is connected to the house, wound down the windows and I left him there with the door between garage and house while I brought in the shopping. I put it away, and then started hanging up some laundry on the clothesline in the back yard, there wasn't a lot so I would have been there five minutes, tops.

Door bell rings, it's a relative who has dropped by unexpectedly seeking a cup of tea between doing things. No worries. I pop the kettle on and tell her I just need to hang the last few things and will be right back. When I come back in she looks puzzled and asks where DS is (I figure she must have gone to look at him sleeping in his cot and he wasn't there). I tell her and she looks mortified. "Sweetie, you can't leave him out there! He shouldn't be left in a car. You were out the back yard, you can't hear him out there! I'll go bring him in". And I'm standing there like a stunned mullet, then "um, no, he is fine". Her "it's ok, I'll got get him, I want to see him anyway" me: "ah, no, let him nap, he will be up soon for his lunch anyway and can have a proper nap this afternoon". She gets all eyerolly, drinks her tea fast, then leaves and makes heaps of noise and calls out to him on her way out, then smugly notes he is awake now anyway and leaves.

Thinking about it, she was just genuinely horrified and I'm sure thinks she was doing me a big favour by telling me, but I have steam coming out of my ears.

For some context, DS is a sh*t sleeper, would not have transferred to his cot in a million years, it was not hot in the car or garage.

So, was she right to tell me off, or was what I was doing fine?

#2 andthethreebears

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:44 PM

I'm 100% on your side!

#3 bakesgirls

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:47 PM

For me it depends on the temperature for the day. Cold day, no worries, as long as I was able to check on the child frquently. Hot or even just a warm day, no, I wouldn't do it. I'd also make sure the garage door was closed for safety reasons and leave the internal garage door into the house open.

From what you have described though, I'm on your side.

EFS

Edited by bakesgirls, 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM.


#4 iheartu

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:48 PM

WT the Effin F... Some people hey?!? I would have done the same in your position original.gif

#5 Frightbat

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:48 PM

I'm with you too.

The car was cool, and garaged and you had the door open so you'd have heard him (maybe not when you were outside but you wouldn't have heard him outside if he was in his cot either)



#6 Feral_Pooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

QUOTE (bakesgirls @ 23/01/2013, 03:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd also make sure the garage door was closed for safety reasons and leave the internal garage door into the house open.

Yes I did that, should have clarified. I also popped in there a few times to check on him.

#7 McFly

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

I have left my sleeping kids in the car before! Our garage is connected to the house.  The sliding door opens to our lounge room.  I have not been doing it lately as it has been too hot where we are but other times, I don't see it as a problem.  


#8 BadCat

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:51 PM

Simple.  She's wrong.

#9 TheGreenSheep

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

QUOTE (andthethreebears @ 23/01/2013, 03:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm 100% on your side!


Me too!

#10 KaffyViffy

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

I do it all the time with DS (and did it with DD).  I'm on your side.

#11 *~dee~*

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:52 PM

I used to do this sometimes in the cooler weather too. DD would never transfer to her cot, and then go without a proper nap and be intolerable for the rest of the day.

Pfffft, some people!

#12 dotty27

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:55 PM

I do it all the time, but also depends on temp.

#13 BreezaH

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

I would've done the same as you - I have left DS1 in a car before to sleep. I was never able to get either of my boys out of the car without waking them! I think in a garage, windows down, door to house open is perfectly fine on a mild day. No different to having them in a bedroom with the door closed.

#14 Feral_Pooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

QUOTE (Rawr @ 23/01/2013, 03:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Pooks, even if your baby was in the cot in the room, I feel that it's really rude and intrusive for anyone to just go wander in like that. I would never do that to someone, and I'd be really angry if someone did it with my kids

Yes... I am wondering if she just wanted to see the baby and exaggerated the car thing in the hopes I'd wake him and she would see him :s

She has a history of digging at me about my parenting style, that I overindulge him, and that he only won't do things like sleep or travel well because I let him rule me. So I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive to a valid criticism or if she was just having another dig at me.

#15 Tesseract

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

The "Sweetie" bit would have really rubbed me the wrong way, totally patronising.

I wouldn't have minded a polite inquiry about the heat in the garage, but eye rolling and making noise = rude relative.

#16 Fr0g

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

I used to carry the removable capsule inside and when the kids were older, the whole car seat in and plonk it in the bedroom.  Then again, we didn't have a safe place to park the car in a cool garage.  If I did, I would do what you do.

I'm with camp You.

#17 mini mac

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:58 PM

She was out of line being so rude, despite what was probably just concern.

If it wasn't a particularly warm day, I would definitely do it, especially if DS1 had been very unsettled and cranky and really needed the rest. Garage door shut or slightly ajar, car doors all open and breeze aflowing, internal door open and me within hearing distance!

WE just moved and no longer have a garage with only a carport so its not an option anymore... cry1.gif

#18 Feral_Pooks

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

She has children my age and older and was doing the sweetie /eyeroll thing in a tone of exasperation, because I am frustrating and annoying to her with all the stupid things I do.

Like I said, I'm a bit annoyed.

But willing to accept maybe I got something wrong. Coz, I do. We all do, I guess.

#19 solongsuckers

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

I'm with you for sure

#20 Oriental lily

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:01 PM

With my first dd it was oe of the only few places she would sleep for day naps.

As long as its cool and secure its perfectly fine in my books.

Just always make sure the engine is of .

#21 mini mac

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:03 PM

QUOTE (Pooks_ @ 23/01/2013, 12:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes... I am wondering if she just wanted to see the baby and exaggerated the car thing in the hopes I'd wake him and she would see him :s

She has a history of digging at me about my parenting style, that I overindulge him, and that he only won't do things like sleep or travel well because I let him rule me. So I wasn't sure if I was being over sensitive to a valid criticism or if she was just having another dig at me.


OMG I have a family member that does this EVERY time she visits! So annoying. I'm so not strict with quiet and sleeping during the day (ie I don't clang around with the pots but I will make whatever noise I want and generally have music playing) but really hate it when people intentionally make loud noise just to wake a kid up for a cuddle or a play! mad.gif

#22 CallMeFeral

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:04 PM

She was WAY out of line!

How is in a garage with the doors/windows between you open any different from in their room, hearing wise???
And then to intentionally wake him - RUDE!

#23 Mrs Dinosaurus

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:05 PM

I'm a 'context is everything' person but it was pretty cool this morning and the garage is cool, no problem and I'm on your side.

I think (I may be wrong) the law is on her side though?

#24 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:06 PM

If I come home and bub is asleep in his pram I leave him sleeping and park the pram in it's usual place in the garage. Our garage is under the house and I will hang the washing out while he is sleeping in the pram. I can't see too much difference between bub having a nap in the car while you are around the house and having a nap in his room, especially if the garage is connected to the house, it would just be like another room.

Sounds like a mother in law type of thig to criticise.

Edited by Dylan's Mummy, 23 January 2013 - 03:08 PM.


#25 steppy

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:09 PM

Even if she didn't approve, which is her prerogative, she didn't have to go and make sure he woke up and then leave. Nasty. Hate underhanded stuff like that.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Five-year-old shoots nine-month-old brother dead

A nine-month-old baby boy died on Monday after he was shot in the head by his five-year-old brother in their grandfather's home.

'Is that baby yours?'

She is my daughter. I gave birth to her. I nurse her. But she doesn't have any of my genes.

Episiotomy in childbirth: not just 'a little snip'

Episiotomies have a place in maternity care – and can occasionally save lives – but should not be performed routinely.

Toddler aggression not caused by language delays after all: study

The logic was that children who don’t have the language to fully express themselves will lash out when they’re misunderstood. Not anymore.

Why we chose to adopt a child with Down sydrome

Everyone in foster care (and really in life) has something that makes them more vulnerable. We just know what our son's is.

Object of desire

Curvy mums make clever babies

Scientists appear to have discovered why women have evolved to have more curves than men – shapely thighs and bottoms lead to healthier babies.

'We'll make sure they know how much she loved them'

A first-time mum will never get to hold her four newborns, dying shortly after giving birth to the quadruplets.

The baby names NZ knocked back in 2014

A New Zealander has tried to name their baby Senior Constable but didn't get away with it - and numbering children is also a no-no.

How can you go into labour without knowing you're pregnant?

For most of us, the idea that a woman could carry a child to full-term without knowing she is pregnant is mind-boggling.

Will you get to the hospital in time?

Worrying your baby will be delivered by the roadside is a common concern for many mothers-to-be. So how likely are you to be caught short?

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.