Jump to content

When your child moves out of home!
WWYD with their room?


  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#1 I'msoMerry

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:25 PM

So my DD (18) is moving out this weekend with his girlfriend. He has been away before for six months but that was at his fathers house and very different circumstances.

I never thought I would be ok with him going but he has caused us quite a bit of stress last year with job searching, cars. and other related teenager stuff. I am letting him take all of his bedroom furniture along with some towels and sheets and bits.

Would you keep your childs room as their room or turn it into something else? DH keeps bringing up that add an tv where the kid comes home and they have put a spa in his room, lol.

I am starting some study this year and want to put a desk in there for me but I feel guilty. I want my kids to know they always have a home here. WWYD?

Edited by michellew68, 23 January 2013 - 02:26 PM.


#2 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:29 PM

We are looking at the prospect of DD moving out sometime in the forseeable future now she is 18. I think I would keep her room the same for a while as I can see her being a bit of a boomerang. In your case can you fit a desk in without completely taking over the whole room?

#3 opethmum

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:33 PM

I would put whatever takes your fancy and if it is a desk then so be it, no guilt needed. Don't keep a shrine to your son in there otherwise he might think that he has a free pass.
Your DS has made a decision with his life and you should encourage him to keep it on track. Make it known to your kids that your place is the last resort and that yes they are welcome to come home for dinner and whatnot but they are now adults and it is up to them to keep the roof over their heads now, not you.  
Your son is grown and you should bloody well celebrate and you should use your new room as a study to complete your dreams.
Good luck!!

#4 eigne

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:38 PM

I moved out 2 years ago... My room is now an extended wardrobe for my sister / spare room / general storage room. Otherwise, it still looks the same and I have to admit I still keep a lot of stuff there.

If you are going to do something, I advise dpi g it ASAP or it may never happen!

#5 asdf89

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:40 PM

When my sisters and I moved out of home to start uni, we moved to a new town so mum kept our bedrooms as bedrooms so we'd have somewhere to stay on uni holidays.

If he's staying in the same town so won't need a bed when he comes to visit - go for it! My mum has since turned one of the bedrooms into a study, and another into a sewing room. The sewing room has got a futon in it, for guests.

#6 I'msoMerry

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:42 PM

I shouldnt feel guilty about it I know but I think there is a sadness that your once dependent little boy doesnt really need you anymore.

The room will be empty as he will take everything. It would be silly to leave it empty.

He is so loud and difficult with the rest of the family sometimes so I wont miss that. Especially dinner time. DH works nights so just DS (15) and DD (2) and me. So peaceful.

It is that little character that I watch in old videos and that mate I had through the single parent years that is gone now. It is accepting that your kids DO grow up. Now I have tears.  sad.gif

#7 Expelliarmus

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

My old room is the study original.gif all good original.gif

#8 kadoodle

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:48 PM

My mum turned my old room into a guest room with an en suite.  But she left the posters on the wall.  I hope her guests like students politics and cartoons.

#9 sweetmango

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

My poor children have never been able to keep there rooms because as a foster parent we always seem to need a spare bed! We always need an extra bedroom.

You could always put a day bed or sofa lounge in the room along with your desk.

#10 wilding

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:51 PM

My room (sleepout attached to the garage) was converted into storage the moment I moved out, which to be honest made me feel like crap and unwanted. My brothers a few months later after he moved. My younger brother moved to uni 2 years ago and his room wasn't converted into anything.

I'll probably leave me son's room as it is.

#11 Lyn29

Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:54 PM

.

Edited by bye, 29 March 2013 - 02:52 PM.


#12 julzely

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

if he is taking all the furniture then there is no point having a completely empty room.

If you make it into a study with a desk and a couple of book cases it would still be able to put a bed back in there if he comes home.

#13 OscarAndTilly

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:00 PM

I keep joking that DD's room will become the Lego room but in reality I'd say that DS1 will move into there so the boys have their own rooms.

If she were to come back it would be easy enough to move boys back together.

#14 Foogle

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:02 PM

DSD's moved out (starting with the eldest 6 years ago) and then 2 years apart after that which only leaves DS home now.

DSD3 room - Lego room.  original.gif

DSD2 room - Star Wars/DS's computer room.

DSD1 room - Guest bedroom

They all come and stay (with their partners now) but not all together at the same time.  I reconfigured one room with two single beds and DS's bedroom with a captains bed and a trundle underneath.

If however, they all do arrive, then given the above, we also have the lounge-room suite which can sleep two adults and DS just bunks in with whatever sister he feels like on the night.

Re-configure your rooms to the way you would best use them on a day to day basis.  Solutions can always be found for when people stay over.  


#15 NunSoFeral

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:05 PM

QUOTE (michellew68 @ 23/01/2013, 02:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is that little character that I watch in old videos and that mate I had through the single parent years that is gone now. It is accepting that your kids DO grow up. Now I have tears.  sad.gif


Me too.
cry1.gif

Edited by gettheetoanunnery, 23 January 2013 - 03:08 PM.


#16 Overtherainbow

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:10 PM

My parents turned our old rooms into a kid's bedroom, a couple's bedroom and a kid's playroom.  It makes it so easy for my siblings and I to return and visit.

I want our home always to be set up to be welcoming for our own children and guests so will probably do the same.  We have enough living areas that I have no need to turn them into more.

I would love to have it bed and breakfast style but for family and friends so we can supply them with a holiday when they need it.

We have family/friends from country/interstate use our home now as a base.  As long as we know which meals they'll be around for, they come and go as pleased.

#17 FeralLIfeHacker

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

.

Edited by lifehacker, 09 February 2013 - 10:13 PM.


#18 Funwith3

Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:31 PM

I moved out of home 9 years ago and my room at mum and dads is exactly as I left it!! They use it as a spare bedroom for guests.

I suppose as an 18 year old, it would be nice to know your room is there at home if and when things don't work out with your current venture. It's not like he's 25. At 18 there is a good chance he'll need to come back at some point.

#19 Propaganda

Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:20 PM

My old bedroom is now set up a share bedroom for a small girl, with a girly single bed (my old one, actually, from when I was about 4), girly covers, and a whole bunch of toys.

My mother only has 2 grandchild, both girls. My room was quite large, so it works well, and it's where my child sleeps when she goes to visit overnight.

My brother's bedroom is just a generic spare room, set up for a single adult, with a few items neatly stored in there too.

I returned how for a few months after initially moving out, and I just used that small spare room with the bed it had in it. It was small and cramped, but it wasn't too bad. I wouldn't have expected my room to remain set up as it was when I was living there.

#20 Zesty

Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:26 PM

Since you will have no furniture in it, I would make it a study for you with the addition of a sofa bed or the like. Enjoy the extra space biggrin.gif

#21 mantilla

Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:35 PM

OUr youngest son (now 22) has a sleep-out bedroom with small bathroom & since we moved here about 7 years ago had made it totally his "place".  He has moved out now 3 times in the past few years - once to NSW to work for his big OE (& was back 2 mths later lol) - but like the pp said, he is like a boomerang coming back.  I had made over his room for my craft room & it was to be my own retreat to be away from the phone etc but for the foreseeable future hes back.  His older brothers laugh as they both had left before they were 19 yrs- I guess he will leave finally but prob by then I will have dear Gchn to be coming to stay (from older brothers families).  I can see I wont be getting my dedicated sewing space any time soon.  original.gif

#22 roses99

Posted 23 January 2013 - 04:51 PM

He's taking all his bedroom furniture? Then it's hardly going to be an option to leave his room 'as is', given that it'll be empty  wink.gif

I'd put a desk in there and a futon/sofabed. That way you get a study, but he still has a place to stay if he comes back.

#23 countrychic29

Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:02 PM

If he is taking his furniture, then no need to leave it set up.
When i left at 20 i took my furniture .. i had no bed at home, didnt bother me i choose to move in with DH i wasnt going back.
However my parents weekender is still set up as 'my room' some old furniture and my stuff still in draws. even though my mum now sleeps in there.

#24 Apageintime

Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:06 PM

QUOTE (opethmum @ 23/01/2013, 03:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I would put whatever takes your fancy and if it is a desk then so be it, no guilt needed. Don't keep a shrine to your son in there otherwise he might think that he has a free pass.
Your DS has made a decision with his life and you should encourage him to keep it on track. Make it known to your kids that your place is the last resort and that yes they are welcome to come home for dinner and whatnot but they are now adults and it is up to them to keep the roof over their heads now, not you.  
Your son is grown and you should bloody well celebrate and you should use your new room as a study to complete your dreams.
Good luck!!


I agree with this 100%!

#25 JustBeige

Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:14 PM

QUOTE (Zesty @ 23/01/2013, 05:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Since you will have no furniture in it, I would make it a study for you with the addition of a sofa bed or the like. Enjoy the extra space biggrin.gif

This is what I would do too.




2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

6 tips for transitioning back to work after baby

Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.

Couple reveals pregnancy with epic Britney Spears parody

How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.

The truth about birthing a big baby

When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.

Eight months pregnant and addicted to eating soap

This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.

Can you spot the drowning child?

Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.

Noodles, peanuts, wee wees and lady bits

Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.

Mum's brave battle for unborn triplets amid cancer diagnosis

Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.