, Jan 23 2013 02:12 PM
4 replies to this topic
Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:12 PM
I'm still going through my first natural miscarriage and I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster! One day I'll be fine and even happy with my life, the next day I wake up and just want to crawl back into bed. Of course, life must go on and I have my toddler to keep me busy, so I can't do that.
I'm finding it hard to deal with other people. Even the ones that know I am miscarrying, and yes, they are probably just trying to be helpful. I find myself getting irrationally annoyed at their presence, one friend is still expecting to bring her kids over for our usual playdates with my son. I find myself being rude, when I am not normally that kind of person. I just want to hide away from the world and grieve, I guess, in my own time. I wish the bleeding would stop because it's a constant reminder every time I go to the toilet :-(
Big pity party at my place today, and that makes me feel even worse, because I know that others have been through much more, and I feel selfish to be feeling so upset over it all.
I know I will not feel like this soon, I'm sure once the miscarriage is complete it will get easier. Did you just carry on with life as normal during a miscarriage, or did you allow yourself the time out from everything and keep to yourself?
Edited by tryingforanother, 23 January 2013 - 02:15 PM.
Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:24 PM
I would politely tell people to leave you alone for awhile, you can steal yourself away to heal, there is nothing wrong with that. Do take the time to heal and if you need to reschedule your playdate do so, no harm in that. Give yourself permission to say no and do what make you happy, if it is one on one time with your son and taking him places then so be it.
No one can tell you how to grieve a miscarriage and if you need time out, then do it.
I am sorry for your loss.
Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:39 PM
A little bit of a different situation to yours as I opted for a D&C
But I was told on the Thursday there was no heartbeat and the surgery wouldn't happen until Monday, so in between I was wondering if I'd miscarry naturally whilst waiting. I know during that time I didn't want anyone to be around me, only DP. I didn't even want to talk to anyone on the phone - so I didn't.
After the surgery, it didn't even cross my mind what would happen with my hormones and didn't expect the ' fall'! I was at work when it happened, went home and took the rest of the week off. I couldn't handle being around anyone - I just couldn't!
Now I'm still a little bit emotional, but not like I was last week. Last week was horrible! I'm still bleeding, which like you, is a constant reminder of what happened.
So what I'm trying to say is, I stopped everyone from calling/seeing me. For me I didn't want anyone to see me whilst I was going through it. If you can't handle being around people, tell them you just need time out.
You need to think about and take care of YOU!
Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:50 PM
Ummmm. I'm pretty sure you're allowed to have a pity party OP. You're going through a traumatic experience. Give yourself a break woman!
You need to deal with it and grieve in order to heal and move on.
Don't worry about everyone around you. Just worry about you and your closest around you. They care and want to be there for you. Ask them for whatever you do/don't want. Maybe you need the space from everyone to deal with your emotions right now. The will understand. Whatever you do, definitely talk to your partner or a close family member/friend about how you're feeling.
Once your hormones are settled I would recommend you go to a day spa and get a massage or something whatever makes you feel good. You deserve it!
Hope you're feeling 'normal' again soon.
Posted 23 January 2013 - 05:21 PM
Thanks to those that replied and also Bwok-Bwok, I've seen your story in your other posts, and I am so sorry for what you are going through too xx
Will attempt to give myself a break! I've been enjoying some one on one time with DS, because he brings me joy, and also since he doesn't understand what is going on, I don't have to talk about it - It gives me some distraction from it all!
DP has been great and we had a good talk about it all last night, which helped.
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