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The Kindness Of Strangers
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#1 Regular Show

Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:03 AM

So in order to maintain the balance between 'good and evil'  (EB has been very  wacko.gif  lately) I thought it would be nice to hear about the kindness you have encountered from strangers or people you know.

I'll go first..

Yesterday I had to go into our local mall to get something quickly - DF couldnt watch the kids because he was sleeping after a night shift - and I had our SN DS 7 and DD 2 yr old tot with me.

I had DS in his wheelchair and therefore DD 2yrs was expected to walk with me. I knew this was going to be a challenge (shes a runner) but I had no other choice.

In order to maintain the peace and keep DD on track we headed to Boost Juice first and got her a drink. Waiting for our order I met a lovey lady who chatted to me and spoke about how cute DD was. To me she looked like a class A mess in her MCN, T-shirt, and pink gumboots - but she thought she looked adorable.

We then walked a little further down the mall and I was stopped by another lovely lady who was gushing all over DD and said how cute she looked in her 'out-fit'. We had a lovely chat and then parted ways.

On the way out we stopped at Wendy's so I could get DS a hotdog. DD refused to sit down and eat hers and just wanted an ice-cream. She was getting ratty, dancing in the mall, taking her boots off and repeatedly asking for 'ice cream'. DS had wanted an ice cream but he hadnt finished his hotdog so I decided to get our ice cream in a take home pack and make it myself at home.

I asked the young guy behind the counter for our ice cream and asked if he could pop a chocolate flake stick in the bag (because that is what DS really wanted) - I would pay for it of course. Well this lovely young gentleman (looked like a teenager) put 3 in there. One each for the kids and he said I had to have one too  happy.gif - and then he didnt charge me for them either. I thanked him and said how much I appreciated it.

It was only something small but really really made my day  biggrin.gif

Edited by Regular Show, 22 January 2013 - 07:31 PM.


#2 tribemama

Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:07 AM

Thats lovely!

#3 Therese

Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:09 AM

What a nice thing for him to do original.gif

#4 Elippo

Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:15 AM

How lovely.

I have one from the other day. I stopped in a the bottle shop to get hubby a case of beer. I struggled out to the car carrying the case and thought I would try and open the boot without putting down the case (me being stupid and lazy). Needless to say it wasn't going well - well a guy darted out from another car and insisted on holding the case while I opened the boot and got myself organised. It was a small thing but was lovrely and put a big smile on my face.

#5 Leha

Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:29 AM

I was at bunnings last week getting some potted colour that DP had asked me to get. I hate gong to bunnings on my own as they both always want the little kids trolleys and my DS just runs of.

I was at the checkout and both kids were having meltdowns. They both fell over and hurt themselves one after the other and it was hot and the line was huge. Anyway, I had a trolley and 2 crying kids and didn't know how  I was going to get to the car. A lady offered to walk with me to my car and help me get the kids in. It made my day.

I have found people will quite often offer to help me if I am struggling and I always try and do the same if I am in the position to do so.

#6 Lokum

Posted 22 January 2013 - 10:50 AM

In the lead up to Christmas, on some very hot days, I got nothing but kindness.

I had a newborn who wouldn't lie in the baby bit of the trolley, so I was carrying a sooky baby and trying to push a trolley full of groceries to the car. A man by the door offered to push the trolley to my car, and because he was smoking said he would follow at a distance so the baby didn't get smoky. Once at the car, he insisted on unloading the trolley into the boot!!

Recently I was struggling with baby in the sling, and DS1 sitting in the trolley. He wouldn't/couldn't let me lift him out for some reason, legs kept getting stuck. Another woman came and helped lift him out and asked if there was anything else she could do.

After a picnic in which DS1 had got cake and other treats, we got coffee from a coffee cart on the way out of gardens. DS1 was insisting he wanted icecream, and we refused. He was sitting by the coffee cart saying, "I want ice cream, I want ice cream, pleeeeaaase," while we ignored him. Some sweet young 20-ish people came and said, 'We think he wants icecream. We can buy it for him if you like?' We laughed cruelly, and said 'we know he wants icecream, and thanks for your offer but he can't have it,' cackle, cackle. Good on them for asking first, and being kind enough to offer!!

#7 Regular Show

Posted 22 January 2013 - 11:45 AM

biggrin.gif  Love all the stories, keep em coming original.gif

#8 raone

Posted 22 January 2013 - 11:51 AM

DH took DS for a walk in the pram awhile back. He was so excited to come home and tell me how all the cars stopped for him. He wants to walk him all the time now. biggrin.gif

#9 Dresden

Posted 22 January 2013 - 11:55 AM

Many years ago when my ASD 11yr old was about 4, he had had been acting up a scene all morning while I ran errands with a 2 yr old, and newborn. The entire trip I'd felt glares from people, had comments on how naughty he was being and was feeling like complete sh*te. Last stop was the chemist, and it was in there he decided to have the mother of all meltdowns. I just sat in the chair and bawled. A few moments later i felt a hand on my arm and looked up to see a little old man sitting next to me patting my arm and telling me " It will be alright love" Of courwse, in the state I was in it made me howl even more, but I so appreciated the kind gesture.

#10 Guest_Dinah_Harris_*

Posted 22 January 2013 - 11:56 AM

I remember when DD2 was a newborn, she had cracked it just as we got to the checkout with a trolley full of groceries.  In those days, she used to vomit every time she cried because she had a really sensitive gag reflex and I was desperately hoping she wouldn't vomit all over me.
I was trying to settle DD2 with one hand and put my groceries on the conveyor belt with the other.  Two or three people immediately came over and unpacked all my groceries onto the belt and then put the bags in my trolley for me.   blush.gif
Not store workers, either, just really nice people who could see that I was about to cry!

#11 RipeWickedPlum

Posted 22 January 2013 - 11:57 AM

This happened a while ago now... I can't remember exactly how long though.

My DH, IL's and my family were all away, I was home with my 2 girls and we had just gone to visit my sister. On the way home up the freeway, my tyre blew on my car. It happened so quickly and as I was doing 110 when it happened it took longer to slow and pull over off the side of the freeway than it normally would, and it was smoking...

A lovely couple pulled over to help me change the tyre. I could have done it, but I had 2 kids in the car and it was over 35 degrees AND I was on the side of the freeway so the girls couldn't even get out of the car.

I will forever remember those lovely people. I was so stressed when it happened thinking WTF am I going to do etc...

So lovely!

#12 baddmammajamma

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:06 PM

I shared this back in November, but it's still one of the nicest things that has happened to me recently:

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 29/11/2012, 05:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Background:

A few days ago, my 7-year-old daughter had an ASD "meltdown" on school grounds. They don't happen often these days, but they still can occur.

There were a few grandmothers picking up their grandchildren on campus, and two of them shot me the most horrible looks and shook their heads, as if to say "Do SOMETHING about that brat, you horrible mother."

I am pretty used to people misinterpreting meltdowns, but for some reason, their stares and whispers really made me feel like crap.

Today, when I went to school pick up, an elderly gentleman who had witnessed everything pulled me aside. He whispered, "I have Aspergers. I understand. Is everything ok?" He then went on to engage my daughter about her current "passions," and they had a delightful conversation.

There is this awful myth and stereotype out there that people with ASD lack empathy and can't read other people's feelings or emotions...and that they don't care about others. This is not true.

As Aspergers guru Tony Attwood is fond of saying, people with ASD can and do have empathy -- they might just show it in different ways.

Anyway, if anyone in the universe is keeping score in NW Sydney, the tally is:

Kind Ol' Aspie Dude 1: Judgmental Old Biddies 0

original.gif



#13 RCTP

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:13 PM

All lovely heart-warming stories.

Mine is very simple - someone held the door open for me in Gloria Jeans the other day as I struggled out with the pram.
Older gentleman got out of his seat especially to do this.

Always makes me smile and feel good that people still care.

#14 Regular Show

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:13 PM

QUOTE (baddmammajamma @ 22/01/2013, 11:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I shared this back in November, but it's still one of the nicest things that has happened to me recently:


I remember that story BMJ, I think of it often original.gif

#15 meohmy

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:14 PM

Nice idea for a thread.

A few times at our local supermarket/shops I have had people offer to help push and unload the trolley as I manage toddler in trolley, baby in carrier (who loses her mind the moment she's in the car so try not to put her in till last possible moment) and the stupid sloping carpark.

Last week in the crazy heat I was at a different centre and three guys were behind me, one of them told his mates he would meet them back at the car and came and grabbed the side of the trolley helping me to push it to the car. I kept thanking him and he said "It's easy to do nothing, it's even easier to be nice."  original.gif He left after we got the trolley to the car, then another guy asked if I was finished with the trolley and waited till I packed the car and took it to return it for me. Probably small gestures for them but really helped on a really crappy day. (The second guy was in a uniform for a nearby business so I called them later and asked to note a compliment fo him).

#16 robot sm

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:31 PM

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and generally feeling big, uncomfortable, and very self-conscious about it.  In the past few weeks, 3 old ladies (usually who don't speak great English) have given me the biggest smiles and guessed "it's a boy!" "you're having a boy!" etc, just as we're passing in the street or waiting for a bus.  They have been so genuinely happy to wish me luck and to be right on their guess of a boy that it has always cheered me up and made me feel good.

#17 cardamom

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:22 PM

I shared this in the Lots to Lose thread last week, but I'm still thinking of it a week later.

I'm pretty overweight and trying hard to lose it. Last week I did the 1000 Steps Kokoda memorial walk for the first time, not realising how difficult it was going to be for me. I was completely out of breath, sweating buckets, and desperate to turn around and go back - and that was after the first 5 minutes. I was so embarrassed and ashamed by my lack of fitness, and just wished I could disappear.

An incredibly fit-looking man overtook me as I was hanging over a guard rail panting. He said, very kindly and encouragingly "You're nearly there, only halfway to go. Keep it up, you're doing great. You can do it!" I was so touched by his encouragement (when I felt I didn't deserve it) that I started to cry.

Further up the track, he passed me again on his descent. Again, I was stopped for a break, probably looking as though I was going to pass out from exertion. "You're almost there, really, less than a quarter to go. Just around this next corner, then there's one more corner, and you'll be done. You're doing great".

When I finally made it to the top, he passed me AGAIN (on his way back up; outrageously fit!) and said "You did it! Congratulations, I knew you could do it. Good on you" so genuinely that I burst into tears again. I'm very self-conscious and ashamed by my size and lack of fitness, and his kindness when I felt all I deserved were scathing looks really meant a lot to me.

#18 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:27 PM

QUOTE (meohmy @ 22/01/2013, 12:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nice idea for a thread.

A few times at our local supermarket/shops I have had people offer to help push and unload the trolley as I manage toddler in trolley, baby in carrier (who loses her mind the moment she's in the car so try not to put her in till last possible moment) and the stupid sloping carpark.

Last week in the crazy heat I was at a different centre and three guys were behind me, one of them told his mates he would meet them back at the car and came and grabbed the side of the trolley helping me to push it to the car. I kept thanking him and he said "It's easy to do nothing, it's even easier to be nice." original.gif He left after we got the trolley to the car, then another guy asked if I was finished with the trolley and waited till I packed the car and took it to return it for me. Probably small gestures for them but really helped on a really crappy day. (The second guy was in a uniform for a nearby business so I called them later and asked to note a compliment fo him).

Awww!  That's such an awwww moment!

#19 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:31 PM

QUOTE (cardamom @ 22/01/2013, 01:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I shared this in the Lots to Lose thread last week, but I'm still thinking of it a week later.

I'm pretty overweight and trying hard to lose it. Last week I did the 1000 Steps Kokoda memorial walk for the first time, not realising how difficult it was going to be for me. I was completely out of breath, sweating buckets, and desperate to turn around and go back - and that was after the first 5 minutes. I was so embarrassed and ashamed by my lack of fitness, and just wished I could disappear.

An incredibly fit-looking man overtook me as I was hanging over a guard rail panting. He said, very kindly and encouragingly "You're nearly there, only halfway to go. Keep it up, you're doing great. You can do it!" I was so touched by his encouragement (when I felt I didn't deserve it) that I started to cry.

Further up the track, he passed me again on his descent. Again, I was stopped for a break, probably looking as though I was going to pass out from exertion. "You're almost there, really, less than a quarter to go. Just around this next corner, then there's one more corner, and you'll be done. You're doing great".

When I finally made it to the top, he passed me AGAIN (on his way back up; outrageously fit!) and said "You did it! Congratulations, I knew you could do it. Good on you" so genuinely that I burst into tears again. I'm very self-conscious and ashamed by my size and lack of fitness, and his kindness when I felt all I deserved were scathing looks really meant a lot to me.

That's great.   biggrin.gif

I have sometimes wondered whether I should ever say anything to someone like that or whether they might think I was being patronising and would prefer me to just shut the f*ck up.  I know it would make me feel better to be encouraged when I am flailing like a beached whale (not being a lithe spritely 17 year old), but I have heard a few people say that it made them feel worse.

#20 9minutes

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:37 PM

Cardamom, that's a great story - well done for giving it a go and keeping going even though it was so hard!

I had something similar in my first (only!) half marathon last year.  I'm still overweight and really not fit enough for such a long race but I did it anyway.  I was puffing and panting (literally) up the last long hill and passed some people who were going even more slowly than me - one man must have heard me coming up behind him puffing like a steam train and patted me on the shoulder and said "keep going love, you're nearly at the finish". I nearly burst into tears, especially when I looked at his race bib to see that he was doing the full marathon and had run 21km more than I had already.



#21 KnightsofNi

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:38 PM

Sometimes it is just the little things. I took my kids to the park yesterday. My DD slipped and banged her head on the climbing frame, so I was comforting her on the park bench. I told me 2yo DS not to climb any higher, as I wasn't nnderneath him to support/catch him if he needed. Being the stubborn child he is, he didn't listen and continued to climb higher. A nearby mum offered to go and help him, which was lovely, as it meant I could continue to comfort my very upset DD.

#22 mccarro

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:40 PM

All these stories are so lovely.

About a month ago I went to the supermarket with DS (2.5) and DD (5 months). I went to buy a sausage sandwich for DS when I discovered I'd left my wallet at home. DS had already asked the man very politely for his sausage, and looked crestfallen when I said he couldn't have it because I didn't have any money with me. An older gentleman walking past saw this and paid for DS's sausage for him. It was such a nice thing for him to do, and it made my week (I'd been having the week from hell).

#23 Regular Show

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:40 PM

QUOTE (Mary Whether @ 22/01/2013, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It works both ways.  I had a seizure recently, whilst standing in line in a food court.  My husband was there to take care of me, but one of the lovely people who offered to help was a boy of ~5 who wanted to give me a drink wub.gif


Naaawww thats so cute  wub.gif

#24 iheartu

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:51 PM

QUOTE (cardamom @ 22/01/2013, 01:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I shared this in the Lots to Lose thread last week, but I'm still thinking of it a week later.

I'm pretty overweight and trying hard to lose it. Last week I did the 1000 Steps Kokoda memorial walk for the first time, not realising how difficult it was going to be for me. I was completely out of breath, sweating buckets, and desperate to turn around and go back - and that was after the first 5 minutes. I was so embarrassed and ashamed by my lack of fitness, and just wished I could disappear.

An incredibly fit-looking man overtook me as I was hanging over a guard rail panting. He said, very kindly and encouragingly "You're nearly there, only halfway to go. Keep it up, you're doing great. You can do it!" I was so touched by his encouragement (when I felt I didn't deserve it) that I started to cry.

Further up the track, he passed me again on his descent. Again, I was stopped for a break, probably looking as though I was going to pass out from exertion. "You're almost there, really, less than a quarter to go. Just around this next corner, then there's one more corner, and you'll be done. You're doing great".

When I finally made it to the top, he passed me AGAIN (on his way back up; outrageously fit!) and said "You did it! Congratulations, I knew you could do it. Good on you" so genuinely that I burst into tears again. I'm very self-conscious and ashamed by my size and lack of fitness, and his kindness when I felt all I deserved were scathing looks really meant a lot to me.


How encouraging that made me tear up a little too.

#25 cardamom

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:57 PM

QUOTE (YodaTheWrinkledOne @ 22/01/2013, 02:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have sometimes wondered whether I should ever say anything to someone like that or whether they might think I was being patronising and would prefer me to just shut the f*ck up.  I know it would make me feel better to be encouraged when I am flailing like a beached whale (not being a lithe spritely 17 year old), but I have heard a few people say that it made them feel worse.


I think it's really difficult to know whether to make a comment, as you don't know how the person will take it. Everyone's different. I remember I was out walking in my ugly old gym gear once, and a guy wolf whistled at me from a passing car. I spent the next half hour fighting back tears, as in my twisted mind I'd convinced myself that it was his (very complex) way of mocking me, because who would think that I looked good? In hindsight, it probably was genuine; if he wanted to upset me surely he'd just have shouted something rude.

For me, that man last week really spurred me on, partly because he seemed so genuine. I suppose it's all in the delivery of the comment!  wink.gif

QUOTE (Rubybelle @ 22/01/2013, 02:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Cardamom, that's a great story - well done for giving it a go and keeping going even though it was so hard!


original.gif  Thanks! If I'm being honest, it was DP's encouragement that kept me going, if I'd done it alone I probably would have turned back. And congratulations on your half marathon, that's an amazing achievement!





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