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Yet another public bf question


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#1 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

I've been reading, as many of us have, the new stories, blog posts etc about the whole Kochie breastfeeding carry on, and it's got me wondering about this lovely word "discreet".

So my question to you is, well, there are a couple of them:

1.  How important was being "discreet" to you when bf in public?

2.  What do you consider being "discreet"?  What specific bits are considered indiscreet in your opinion?

3.  Did you use a wrap or blanket to cover up when feeding in public?

4.  Any other thoughts on "being discreet" and what it means to you.

I shall start.

1.  It was really, really important to me to start with, and only ever got a bit less so with subsequent children.  That, however, is MY issue.  I have always been very shy about my lack-of-breasts, so have always been very reluctant to "get the girls out", so to speak.  It has, however, absolutely NOTHING to do with the delicate sensibilities of others, unless, perhaps the elderly of some types.  I think my father, for example, might possibly have fainted if I just whipped one out, lol.

2.  For me showing nipple was the ultimate in indiscreet, and by the time the 3rd kid weaned it was the ONLY thing that was indiscreet, lol.  I did, however, try and wear tops that would pull up, rather than ones that pulled down where the whole top of the breast would be exposed.

3.  Sometimes, yes, but only with very young babies, they ripped it off when they were older.  Like, older than about 3 months.  I also only used it for either warmth or shade, or if I was wearing the wrong kind of top as said in point #2

4.  Am having an interesting discussion with someone on Twitter about his/her "right to an opinion" on this topic, and am reminded of this excellent article https://theconversation.edu.au/no-youre-not...ur-opinion-9978  Is it an opinion when you're simply WRONG?  wink.gif



#2 epl0822

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

I personally did not feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of others - I only did it in front of DH, my mum, and a couple of friends. I felt a lot more at ease, personally, with a cover. But I've had several girl friends who breastfed in public or in front of me and I don't really care what they do....that just so happens to be my personal preference.

I have slightly mixed feelings on this. No mum should feel like she has to feed her baby in a dirty toilet of a restaurant. But I respect that there are differing views on this, particularly coming from a culture where it is not as common to breastfeed in front of men. If I'm, say, dining at a family friend's house with an elderly couple, I would use a cover. It's like being in somebody's house where they remove their shoes before entering. You might wear shoes indoors all the time and there's nothing wrong with wearing shoes inside the house, but it's polite to respect other people's customs and rules.

#3 Angelot

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:45 PM

QUOTE (LeChatNinjah @ 21/01/2013, 10:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
1.  How important was being "discreet" to you when bf in public?

2.  What do you consider being "discreet"?  What specific bits are considered indiscreet in your opinion?

3.  Did you use a wrap or blanket to cover up when feeding in public?

4.  Any other thoughts on "being discreet" and what it means to you.


Being discreet was extremely important to me.  Actually, I preferred not to feed in public, because being discreet enough, while being comfortable, was tricky.  So I tended to seek out empty rooms and private spaces.

To me, being discreet meant not letting others see my breasts.  So, something like, drape wrap over shoulder, adjust clothing, attach baby under wrap, when she's finished, adjust clothing, remove wrap.  

I realise not everyone manages wraps and the like, but I do get a bit taken aback when some feeding mothers don't seem to care or try to cover themselves at all.  

For me, this is partly about my own modesty (yes, I realise it's a loaded term because it implies that people who are different are immodest, but seriously, what word would you use for the desire not to expose yourself?), and mostly because I think most other people don't want to, and shouldn't have to, see my breasts.  It wouldn't be ok in any other context, so it doesn't seem ok while breastfeeding, if I have any other reasonable option.

#4 Feralina

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:49 PM

1. I've only had one child, and our breastfeeding relationship only lasted for a couple of months, so I'm not the most experienced of mothers in this regard! I didn't have too much of a chance to breastfeed in public, but the few times I did, I really pushed myself to do it openly. I wanted to feel carefree about it, because I've always believed that it's a natural thing that mothers should be able to do anytime, anywhere. Did I feel self-conscious about it? Totally! But I knew how I felt about bfing, and figured that if I believed it for others, I really needed to live it! I figured I would just follow the adage of, "fake it till you make it", and just did it as quickly and seemingly-confidently as I could, hoping that over time the confidence to not care what other people thought would come.

2. For me, personally, I wasn't worried about nipple any more than I was about boob, or any more than I was about having a baby attached. I definitely don't feel that one part of it is more 'discreet' than others. Or in other words, it's just not about being 'discreet' - that term is irrelevant to breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is just breastfeeding. Either I did it, or I didn't.

3. Only in front of my dad and brothers. Coming from a traditional eastern European household, I knew they wouldn't feel comfortable. I did breastfeed in front of my father-in-law though. I later found out through my DH that my FIL and MIL were so chuffed that i felt comfortable enough to bf openly in front of them. I'm so grateful to have great ILs.

#5 MintyBiscuit

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:53 PM

I've tried to be as discreet as possible when I've been out feeding. I'm not one to get my boobs out generally (although funnily enough I dress with a bit more cleavage showing now I have big milky DDs laughing2.gif) and breastfeeding hasn't changed that. I'm fortunate that my boobs aren't so enormous that they're hard to manage, DS latches quickly and easily and almost always has, and I could generally always tell when he was about to pop off and prepare myself to cover up.

My line of discretion has generally been nipple, although I'm sure at various points people have seen those too. I go stir crazy sitting at home, and DS spent about six months feeding every two hours, so I got a lot of practice at feeding in public. The speed with which I could attach him got pretty good - DH often commented at how impressed he was at how little I managed to flash.

My attire has generally been BF singlet with a tshirt over the top, so I could pull the shirt up, pop the cup down and put the baby on. By the time his enormous head was in the way you could barely tell there was a boob out. There have been times when I've been wearing something that exposes the top of my breast as well, and it's been a bit odd to me at first but I've gotten used to it pretty quickly. I used a cover once when I went to lunch with old work colleagues when DS was six weeks, and it was a pain in the butt. The only reason I used it then was because there were people I'd only met once or twice and I couldn't be bothered with any weirdness.

General thoughts? The whole concept of discreet is really p*ssing me off the last few days. What I've just described above is, to me, pretty discreet. I know there are some who would read it and think I was being too modest and worrying too much, and others who would think I was showing too much. It feels like in the last few days discreet has become code for "not near me thanks"

ETA - in regards to your comment Ninjah about is it an opinion when you're wrong? No, I don't think it is. I got caught up in some arguments on FB the last few days with people saying "he has a right to his opinion" or "I support breastfeeding, but in my opinion they should cover up". To me, in this situation, it's pretty clear cut. The law says it's ok to feed anywhere, so if you don't like it, it's up to you to avoid the situation. And the "I support breastfeeding but . . ." to me just feels like "I'm not racist, but . . ."

Edited by HollyOllyOxenfree, 21 January 2013 - 09:57 PM.


#6 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:53 PM

Stopwhiningatme, your confusion is kind of the reason for this post - I'm not sure what it means either, as surely it's totally subjective, and yet all and sundry in the media have been throwing around the word "discreet" willy nilly!



#7 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:57 PM

I try to cover up as much as possible but it's not my main priority when feeding. I'd rather expose my boob than my stomach. Usually is wear singlets I could just lift up but some clothes I have require me to flip it out. Now that I'm pregnant though I invested in breastfeeding and nursing dresses so try have special boob hole for me to feed through.


There is no way in hell DS would feed under a cover.

I breastfeed everywhere and do so in front of my dad and FIL. I have no idea if they feel uncomfortable and tbh I don't really care if they are as they will deal with it themselves.

The only place I do not feed is on the train in peek hour. Because it is too crowded and DS is so lon now that he would be hangin into someone else's lap (he only feeds cradle held now still at 15 months).

#8 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:57 PM

I much prefer "RELEASE THE HOUNDS" a la Mr Burns  dev (6).gif



#9 Angelot

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:00 PM

I might add, I think a couple of other things probably influence how people measure their own level of discretion.

1.  How big your boobs are.  It's much easier to be discreet if they aren't giant boobs of milk-filled doom!
2.  What you're wearing.  I wasn't able to find much in the way of (affordable, well-fitting) breastfeeding tops, so I tended to want the wrap to cover what the clothes wouldn't.  If I'd had good feeding tops which exposed very little, I might have felt the need for other covers less.

#10 Roobear

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:04 PM

I think I feed pretty discretely. I wear a singlet under my top so I lift up my top, unclip my bra and cup my boob in my hand until I can get DS attention and then allow him to attach straight away. I then mostly cover the top part of my breast still exposed just my adjusting my top. This is how I feel comfortable feeding in public so that is how I do it. I don't use any covers or wraps though.

I don't care how others feed their babies. Every woman I have seen feed in public has shown less or about as much skin than I have seen on girls parading around their bikinis at the beach!

#11 Genabee

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:05 PM

QUOTE (LeChatNinjah @ 21/01/2013, 10:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've been reading, as many of us have, the new stories, blog posts etc about the whole Kochie breastfeeding carry on, and it's got me wondering about this lovely word "discreet".

So my question to you is, well, there are a couple of them:

1.  How important was being "discreet" to you when bf in public?

2.  What do you consider being "discreet"?  What specific bits are considered indiscreet in your opinion?

3.  Did you use a wrap or blanket to cover up when feeding in public?

4.  Any other thoughts on "being discreet" and what it means to you.


Great topic! I too have been discussing the relativism of 'discreet'!!

1. Initially I wouldn't leave the house in fear of needing to feed somewhere uncomfortable, foreign or in public! But once we got the hang of things (she would have been about 9 weeks), I didn't really care. I was feeding my child and that was all there was to it.

2. If I had sat somewhere wearing no top at all, and both of the girls were out to be seen, then that was indiscreet. But as far as I was concerned, if I was wearing a t-shirt (and feeding her tucked under it) or a singlet (and just the once side was slightly pulled down for her to feed), then I was being discreet. I have smalls breasts, so for someone to cop a look, they would really have to be starring at me. I also had a fussy feeder who was on and off all the time. I did try to cover myself if she came off, but that wasn't always feasible, especially when trying to guide her back on. So my nipples have probably been on display inadvertently.

3. I attempted to use a smock and a wrap while feeding, but it was a giant PITA!!! In the early days I couldn't control my let down properly. Coupled with that and the awkwardness that feeding was,  a cover got in the way (or wet!). By the time I had it together, she was pulling it down and it would distract her. It was put in the too hard basket pretty early on for me.

4. From discussions I have been involved in, it appears that it boils down to the size of the nursing Mum. Bigger busted women seem to 'offend' others more easily than those with smaller busts. Which I find disgraceful. The size of a woman's breasts should not impact their decision where and when to feed their babies.

From my experiences, the women who are seemingly against it have never breastfed themselves and are generally of a mindset that 'bottle is better'. And I must admit, they are (generalising here, but this is my experience) of an age and era, where formula was the preferred and promoted option in their day. So by contrast, the increase in breastfeeding women today, is seen as women being overtly sexual, rather than accepting that it is what is biologically normal - whether they did it or not, whether they like it or not.

There is a very big misunderstanding surrounding breast feeding. Unless you have breastfed yourself, I believe it is very difficult to fully understand and appreciate. And I am the first person to admit that my views and feelings on it before nursing, were very different to what they are post. I wouldn't hesitate to breast feed any other children I may have and only hope that if I do, I can do so for longer than I was able to with DD.

#12 Maniacal_laugh

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

I used nipple shields for some of the time, so my 'discreet' was nipping to the loo prefeed, or wrangling it down my top. I wouldn't have felt comfortable exposing my nipple and applying the shield in public. But - this is my preference, and while I've never seen anyone put a shield on in public, it wouldn't bother me (now) if they did.

I didn't use a cover but was otherwise reasonably 'discreet' (or are we calling it classy nowadays?). But that was partly because DD only fed for 3 months, and partly luck that she wasn't a baby who pulled off the nipple frequently.

I can't be bothered replying in the other thread, but it does tick me off when women say "well,I fed 2 babies discreetly..." it doesn't take much imagination to realise that not every baby feeds like yours!!!

#13 klr70

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:09 PM

1.  How important was being "discreet" to you when bf in public?
When I first started bf, I didn't bf in public (I did use the parent's room, if one was available, but I don't consider that "public"). I needed to use a nipple shield for quite a while (problems getting bubby to latch properly), & I just didn't have enough hands to hold the shield & my squirming baby & not "flash" my entire breast while doing so. I wasn't comfortable baring my breast for all & sundry - I didn't really care what anyone else thought.

Once I became more proficient at bf & no longer needed the shield, I wasn't fazed about bf wherever I needed to. I wear clothing that is easy to feed in (for my own convenience) & a "bonus" of that is that very little of my breast is "on display", even when bubby's not attached.

When at a friend's house/party, I sometimes go to another room - but that is more for my own comfort & perhaps less noise/distractions for bubby.

2.  What do you consider being "discreet"?  What specific bits are considered indiscreet in your opinion?
For me personally, I prefer not to flash my entire breast. I don't really care what others do (can't say I've really noticed, I'm focussed on my DS & his needs). As has been pointed out in other threads on this debate, one person's "discreet" can be another's "exhibitionist".

3.  Did you use a wrap or blanket to cover up when feeding in public?
Sometimes. Particularly when DS was very small - less distractions for him with a bit of a cover (generally a muslin) & warmer in winter. As he got older, he'd just pull the wrap away, so no point using one. In fact, it just made bf more difficult - he'd squirm more, be more distracted & do the whole detach/re-attach thing (& subsequently "flashing" far more than I felt comfortable with). Without a cover, he'd generally just get down to the business of feeding & it would be much more relaxed for us both.

4.  Any other thoughts on "being discreet" and what it means to you.
As previously stated, for me, "discreet" means "not flashing my whole breast". That is what I'm comfortable with, for me. I don't think I apply this to others, though. Haven't really had this tested, as I haven't been around that many bf women... or maybe I have & it's just not on my radar...

#14 ReadySetRace

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:12 PM

No longer use wrap but have with previous babies.i wear BF clothes as much as possible but otherwise I lift my shirt so never show the top of my boob.  I feel comfortable if I'm covered like that and babies head hides the rest. I try to be quick to be discreet.  I fed in public, at nursing homes, cafes, planes, at work, friends houses and in front of male family members (dad, brother) many times.  I prefer to feed at home in first few weeks to be in a really comfortable chair.

If I need to feed in front of a male I don't know well (friends DH or parents friends) I move away to feed though....

Seriously I'm not trying to give anyone an eyeful of boob, I'm just focused on getting nutrition into my baby as soon as possible.

#15 B.feral3

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:13 PM

QUOTE (stopwhiningatme @ 21/01/2013, 10:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't mind people measuring their own discretion.  

It's when they measure mine that I start to get twitchy.


yyes.gif


#16 beaglebaby

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:16 PM

I don't think I've ever seen someone feeding that I felt was being "indiscreet", and with 3 children, many ABA meetings, playgroups, swimming lessons etc etc under my belt I've seen quite a few babies being fed!  

My children weren't particularly easy feeders, they didn't like blankets or wraps and I was usually at least an E cup while feeding so had to "shape" the nipple for them to latch, I still think people would have been having to look pretty carefully to see anything more than someone unclipping at ugly bra or removing/replacing a breast pad!

I was very jealous of a friend who could manage to walk around the shops while her baby breastfed.  She was standing in a queue one day and the guy in front commented on the cute baby and then went bright red and apologised - he'd been standing there chatting to her and hadn't even realised she was feeding her baby!  Yet many would say that walking around with a baby attached to your boob was indiscreet!

#17 Guest_LeChatNinjah_*

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:18 PM

One of the people I was "discussing" this with wondered why a breastfeeding mother wouldn't choose to use a parenting room in a cafe or shopping centre.  I tried to explain that it can take up to 30 minutes, and why on earth would you want to sit apart from those you're dining with for 30 minutes to do something that could just as easily be done at the table.

Disclaimer - I realise not all breastfeeding mothers can or want to sit at a communal table to feed, some prefer the privacy.

But for those who are at a stage where it's not a big deal, I was trying to get the point across that there is simply no need to go elsewhere.

This person kept pushing the point that they felt they had a "right" to eat out in public and not "cop an eyeful" (an expression I NEVER want to hear again).

Do they have that right?  I think a mother doing her utmost to allow as little breast as possible to be copping and eyeing other people has more right to feed her baby than others have to be offended.


#18 beabea

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:22 PM

It wasn't that important to me to be discreet. I mean, I didn't try to flash anything just for the sake of flashing it (I'm sure there must be one person out there who does this - seems like there will be that one person for everything - but I think generally mothers are more concerned with getting on with it and accusations of "flashing" are a bit of a stretch to me, especially if applied broadly). I was photographed breastfeeding for the newspaper for breastfeeding week so obviously being discrete wasn't super-important because everyone in the country had a chance to see me!

If I was pulling a top down to expose the top of the breast, sometimes I covered the area with my hand, if one of my hands was free.

If my baby latched off leaving me swinging in the breeze I tried to get them latched back on or I re-dressed myself or covered myself temporarily, but I wasn't in a mad panic to do any of those.

I used a shawl briefly with my first, but as you said it didn't work for long because once he got old enough to throw it off, he did, every time. Otherwise I kind of expected people to not bother about it.

I was less discreet with my second because I had less hands free and was busier doing other things than rearranging shawls or tucking myself away - not really any other reason. Also because my first was highly distractable we were sort of confined to feeding rooms from the time he was four months old just because he wouldn't feed otherwise! So I guess that's pretty discreet, but modesty wasn't my motivation.

The thing is, nobody ever complained to me about anything, at any point. I've heard there's people out there who are offended, but it seems like they're in such a minority they're not really worth worrying too much about?

Edited by beabea, 21 January 2013 - 10:34 PM.


#19 hopelessromantic

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:23 PM

I was such a novice at being a mum.  I was 27 but really no experience at all in children/babies.  What I did know was that I wanted to breast feed and I did until my daughter was 18 months.  

13 years ago it NEVER occured to me it would not be ok to feed my baby where ever she needed to be fed.  Until I saw peoples reactions.  At the time, I thought, what's their problem and got on with it, now I realise what a big issue it is.

But WHY??  Babies need food, mum's feed them.  I am not the type of person to parade my girls (boobs) out on display. I'm kind of shy that way.   If my daughter would have fed with a cover I probably would have in public. But she wouldn't so I just fed her in a discreet way.  In fact my husband kind of requsted cover up for a little while, until he realised that wasn't working and he relaxed about breastfeeding.  I don't know about other mum's but after a while me and bub got quite good at 'assuming the position' quickly. Any one looking on would have had to look VERY hard to see anything offensive.  I was not locking myself away in a room just so I could feed my baby.

Having said that my poor dad nearly had a heart attack the first time I fed my 6 month old in front of him.  And my mother breastfed all 3 of us children.  Go figure.


Really.  I do not understand the issue.  It is not a strip show, you are not being rude.  
Once upon a time I was told 'When people say nasty things about you, it's mostly because they are jealous".  Maybe it's a case of that??? Just saying...

#20 Feral Nicety

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:28 PM

I fed anywhere and everywhere.  I'm not sure I ever gave anyone an eyeful but it never concerned me.

I breastfed on the stairs of Government House in Wellington while chatting to the security guard.

My oldest is nearly 20 now and it amazes me that this is even open to discussion.  20 years ago I didn't feel like a rebel or an outlier, I was simply feeding my child.

#21 MintyBiscuit

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:33 PM

QUOTE (LeChatNinjah @ 21/01/2013, 11:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This person kept pushing the point that they felt they had a "right" to eat out in public and not "cop an eyeful" (an expression I NEVER want to hear again).

Do they have that right?  I think a mother doing her utmost to allow as little breast as possible to be copping and eyeing other people has more right to feed her baby than others have to be offended.


I agree. I truly think the vast majority of breastfeeding mothers do their utmost to expose as little as possible, more for their own comfort than anything else. My public BF days are basically over as DS only has an early morning feed now, but when I was BFing in public a lot I think it would've been pretty tough for anyone to "cop an eyeful". They would have to be staring intently at my breast and manage to not blink in the few seconds it took for DS to latch on. Frankly, if someone is doing that, they have bigger issues.

I find it particularly amusing (and rage inducing, but trying to remain calm) when people have said they don't want to see breastfeeding in a cafe, or a restaurant, or a food court. Me BFing my child is exactly the same as me handing my child a sandwich - I'm feeding a child. And if you're sitting in the same area, you're feeding yourself.

#22 hopelessromantic

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:37 PM

QUOTE
. Me BFing my child is exactly the same as me handing my child a sandwich - I'm feeding a child. And if you're sitting in the same area, you're feeding yourself




Here Here!!


Edited by hopelessromantic, 21 January 2013 - 10:39 PM.


#23 FeralPerthFembo

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:50 PM

1.  How important was being "discreet" to you when bf in public?

In an ideal situation I wouldn't be uncovered more than necessary  for longer than necessary, but life happens, I wouldn't be losing any sleep if someone did see a lot more than I meant them to.  

2.  What do you consider being "discreet"?  What specific bits are considered indiscreet in your opinion?

I find it indiscreet to leave your breast out for longer than needed eg you've finished feeding and leave it out while burping etc. Or to have both breasts uncovered at a time when only one at a time is necessary.

If I'm visiting you in your own home, okay it's your house do whatever you want. But if we're out in the general public, I think it's just impolite and inconsiderate of others.

3.  Did you use a wrap or blanket to cover up when feeding in public?

Nope.  I usually wore bfing tops or used the layering system as I personally felt more comfortable with less skin showing. However I bfed Autumn to Spring when it was cooler, if it was summer I may have just worn a regular singlet and pull down.

4.  Any other thoughts on "being discreet" and what it means to you.

I feel that being discreet means trying to being respectful of others around you, which I think the majority of bfing mothers are.

I dislike the attitude of a select few that purposely draw attention to their bfing just because they have the right to feed whenever wherever (eg those pulling down their whole boob tube to feed totally topless in a shopping centre and then yelling at anyone who dares to give a look). I suppose I meant the purposely confrontational bfer.

I know some ppl think it will help normalise bfing, but I think it has the opposite effect on the people that are already wary of it when it just appears to be exhibitionism.

Edited by JBaby, 22 January 2013 - 12:06 AM.


#24 **Xena**

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:19 AM

I just released a boob and stuck my baby on it. My boobs were massive, bigger than my babes' heads. I figured anyone who had an issue didn't need to watch. For me personally it was all about biological function. My baby needed feeding and so I fed the baby. Breastfeeding was hard enough for me without having to worry about blankets and being discreet.

#25 lucky 2

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:28 AM

1.  How important was being "discreet" to you when bf in public?
I tried to latch baby, that was the focus, it wasn't that I wanted to be on display it's that sometimes dd took longer to latch. I would rather it happened quickly. I don't know what discreet is, I wore a bfing bra, that covered some of my breast but I'm not big so not that much to see.

2.  What do you consider being "discreet"?  What specific bits are considered indiscreet in your opinion?
Just getting breast out for feeding and putting it away when baby had finished. Isn't that enough?
I don't care if it is discreet or not. It's about the baby's mouth hitting a target, it's not a big target but its trickier for women who have larger breasts and may need to handle the breast to help with positioning, easy if you are like me (ie an easy target).

3.  Did you use a wrap or blanket to cover up when feeding in public?
Never, but I was wearing clothes each time I ventured out of the house wink.gif .
I had much more of an issue with me showing my pudgy belly than my breast or nipple, I always wore a singlet and pulled that down and my top up. Easy.

4.  Any other thoughts on "being discreet" and what it means to you.
It's a loaded word, too open to interpretation. I think it just loads the whole exerise (ie public bfing) with stress and anxiety
I think as individuals we all bfeed a little differently, I think we need to accept that and if another member of the public has a problem with looking at a womans breast or a baby bfing then that person will have to look somewhere else, keep calm and carry on.

Sometimes I don't care what other people think about what I am doing, bfing is one of those situations. I've got better things to do that worry about others. I haven't got the mental energy to be second guessing all the time. I don't tend to over-expose my flesh with my clothing choices anyway, I didn't approach bfing any differently.
If a man or a woman is more comfortable about showing flesh then so be it, he/she is braver than me, less hung up and it's none of my business. I can look away at any time if I don't like what I see.
I often don't like what I see at my local shopping centre or on the train, that would be my problem though, wouldn't it?




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As I slowly waddle my ever-changing pregnant body towards the finishing line of my due date, it?s becoming increasingly clear there are a lot of things they just don?t tell you about pregnancy.

Overcoming a fear of the dark

A toddler's fear of the dark is very normal, but there are ways parents can help children through this stage in their development.

Kids, TV and movies: how young is too young?

It seems you don't have to throw the TV and iPad out the window - it all boils down to moderation, supervision and interaction.

Video: Baby's first birthday is a special day for mum, too

?A baby?s first birthday is also mum?s first birthday.?

The day Supernanny came to tea

Prince William's favourite celebrity child trainer Jo Frost puts Bryony Gordon and her toddler through their paces.

The words I hated hearing as new mum

It was less than a week after my son was born that I first heard it - from my mother.

To the pharmacist who sold me baby formula

On the rare occasion I catch sight of you at school, or around town, I think back to our earliest exchange. I?m sure you have no recollection of it at all.

Babies may benefit from autism therapy

Children showing signs of autism don't usually receive early intervention until well into toddlerhood or later, but a new study suggests infants with symptoms of the developmental disorder might benefit from therapy from as early as six months.

Knatalye and Adeline born with an everlasting bond

Knatalye Hope and Adeline Faith are a lot like any other identical twin girls, but there is one dramatic difference: they're joined at the chest and shares several internal organs.

The question this dad wishes he'd asked his wife

I should have seen that my wife wasn't the same person I'd fallen in love with, but we were both too focused on simply trying to get by.

Why we should talk about the deaths of the Hunt children

The deaths are too horrible even to think about. Yet we owe it to the children - Fletcher, Mia and Phoebe Hunt - to think long and hard about it all.

Baby dies of meningococcal weeks after vaccine application denied

A six-month-old girl has died from meningococcal disease just weeks after an application for government funding of a vaccine for the most deadly strain of the virus was rejected.

Finding the right balance when playing with your kids

Being too involved in our children?s play and not allowing our kids enough free time for unstructured activities can mean our kids miss out on the value that play offers.

Creative DIY light shades

The Pop Light light shade comes in a flat pack already made - it's up to you to design it as you'd like.

The battle of iParenting versus imagination

Have we forgotten how to be imaginative, resourceful parents?

Why movement is so important for your baby's growth

Letting your child move as much as possible in the early years ? using all senses, engaging in the real world, preferably outside ? will help them grow up healthier, smarter, calmer and stronger.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
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Special offer: The Baby & Toddler Show 2014

At The Baby & Toddler Show, you?ll find everything you need to get ready for your new arrival and guide you through the early weeks and years of parenting.

Losing yourself to motherhood

While watching your baby grow into a unique little person is exciting and wondrous, the intensity of meeting everyone else?s needs can ever so sneakily overtake your own needs for self-care.

Tearing during delivery: the facts

Almost all women will experience bruising, grazing or tearing after a vaginal birth. Depending on the degree of tearing, there are various treatments available.

6 tips for a day out with a baby and toddler

Outings can be lots of fun with the kids, but there are inevitable challenges. Here's some information about days out to help you be a little more prepared.

Why I invited a dozen people to watch my son's birth

I sent invitations on burgundy scrapbooking paper stamped with a field of poppies, and told each person why I wanted him or her there. I warned that there would be nudity.

Getting labour started: tips for a natural induction

When your baby?s due date comes and goes without so much as a pop - let alone a bang - it can be disheartening. Mums and a doula share their stories of natural inductions.

7 mistakes old hands make with new babies

As I sat across the table from my friend ? me, a seasoned mother of three; her, a brand new mum ? I thought of all the mistakes an old-hand parent can make when visiting a newborn baby.

That's my boy: a dad's diary of the first 4 months

Unbearable anxiety, unspeakable joy, constant exhaustion and bouts of frustration ... The many shocks of first-time fatherhood resound in a dad's diary of his son's early months.

One of the most important things a new mum can do

Finances may not be as cute as a newborn, but with many women?s working arrangements changing post-baby, monetary matters need attention too.

Dying mum saves baby with last breath

Dying from a gunshot wound, Jessica Arrendale used the last of her energy to hide her baby from her killer.

Personalised baby gifts

We've scoured the internet to find gorgeous personalised keepsakes and nursery decor to record baby name and dates. They make great gifts for christenings, name days and birthdays! (All prices in AU.)

 

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For Shopping, For Advice, For Baby & You. Enjoy a special day out with fabulous shopping from over 200 brands, leading parenting experts offering advice on a range of topics, and amazing children?s entertainment

 
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Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.