Jump to content

Beyond terrified of starting DS on finger food
please help me feel confident/capable


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 misse10

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:22 PM

My DS is 8mo and has 3 solid meals of puree each day (plus 5 BF) and I give him fruit in a mesh feeder, but I feel like I should be starting finger food so I don't leave it too late and give him problems accepting real food later.

The problem is I am TERRIFIED of him choking to death.  I am a naturally anxious person and have been treated for PND, but I am trying to do what's best for my baby...but it's stressing me more than I could imagine. Today I gave him a 1/4 of a soft fresh plum and my heart was racing so much and I was so terrified I thought I was going to burst into tears and I had to take it off the poor fellow.

I know they have a gag reflex and its all part of learning, but i'm worried about him just sucking down a big lump and it getting stuck.  He did suck down a chunk of mango accidentally when he was a bit younger and I think it got stuck for a second because he suddenly looked scared and starting crying/going red and i haven't felt confident since.

do you have any reassuring words, tips or really safe foods to start with?  Or some way I could try finger food without having a mental breakdown while doing it?  Is it better to give big hunks of food, so he doesn't try to swallow it all, or teeny tiny pieces that they couldn't choke on but that they can pick-up and self feed??

thanks so much.

Edited by misse10, 21 January 2013 - 07:15 PM.


#2 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:34 PM

I'm pretty sure the risk of choking (as opposed to gagging) is actually higher when the baby isn't in control of the food.  

You can also minimise the risk by making sure your son is sitting up in a high chair (as opposed to running around concentrating on something else) and not offering the high risk stuff (whole nuts, marshmallows, popcorn, apple chunks etc)

I've also found my DS was better with a whole fruit/piece of toast/chop bone etc than chunks cut off by me, that way he could only gnaw off a small piece and by the time he's managed that its pretty mushy anyway.

#3 elizabethany

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:35 PM

start with softer foods, such as watermelon and cheese sticks, as it is harder for then to choke on stuff that disintergrates easily.  Have a chat with your local playgroup association/mach nurse/childrens centres about safe feeding courses (usually a couple of hours) that they may run.

Maybe do a first aid course so that you feel confident in what to do if something does go wrong.  And have a chat with your GP on ways to manage your fear and anxiety over the issue.

We all worry about this, but learnign to deal with whole foods it is an important part of growing up.  You will be fine, but it is OK to get some help from the community nurses.

#4 ubermum

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:39 PM

Start with soft food that won't block a windpipe so you feel more comfortable. Mashed food he can play with and lick off his fingers until you get a bit more relaxed. My 7mo is having grapes cut into 4's, cherries cut into 4s (de stoned of course), cucumber and other bits of soft fruit and veg. I also gave her fish fillet on the weekend. The only soft food I don't give her unless I am in control or it's mashed is banana- she loves it so much she just keeps stuffing it in. I have to give her a small piece at a time. Spaghetti is good, he'll gag on it, but won't choke.

#5 noi'mnot

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:44 PM

Another vote for a first aid course, to give you the confidence to know what to do if something does go wrong.

There's a big difference between choking and gagging, but that didn't stop my parter totally freaking out every single time our little one gagged. It took him awhile to figure out the difference.

As PPs said, start with the softer things like soft fruits and watermelon. Take it slowly day by day, and you'll both build up your confidence and skills gradually. Good luck! original.gif

#6 RCTP

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:44 PM

I totally understand how you feel - when I first gave my daughter toast I actually started to cry with anxiety and fear.

Those gums even without teeth are pretty impressive at chewing.

As some PPs have said start with soft things and in all honesty if you are so very worried book yourself onto a First Aid Course for Babies (St John's Ambulance do them) so you would know what to do calmly in the event of bub choking or any emergency - that may ease your anxiety all round if you haven't done one already.


#7 mandala

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:46 PM

When the mango got stuck, he was gagging, and the gagging was what brought it up. The red in the face, coughing, crying is a good sign - you can't cry or cough if your windpipe is blocked. And a strong gag reflex is a good thing - you're less likely to choke if your gag reflex makes you cough the food up before it gets too far down your throat.

Other than that, elizabethany has great advice. It can be scary, but they do need to learn. original.gif





#8 Riotproof

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:49 PM

Beware of anything small and round shaped, so grapes, cherry/grape tomatoes, cherries, or anything hard like raw carrot/apple/whole nuts.

Other than that, would you consider doing an infant first aid course? That way you will have a definite plan should choking occur.



#9 Lady Excentrique

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:54 PM

I was like that with my first, with my second much more relaxed. I think I started off with bite sized soft cooked foods like pumpkin and potato, so they are really soft and easy to mush up. Don't stress too much OP, its not going to hurt your baby to stay on soft foods for a bit longer.  original.gif

#10 tick

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:00 PM

It might help to read the baby-led weaning book too?  (http://www.bookdepos...y/9780091923808) or even just do a bit of googling about it?  BLW is all about finger foods and letting your child master their own gag-reflex etc so it could be reassuring to read about.  My six month old has been on finger food for a few weeks now and it's amazing to watch what she can eat!  

Also remember that choking is silent - gagging is noisy and unpleasant but it's a good thing, it is natures way of preventing choking.

#11 Princess.cranky.pants

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:06 PM

Just start slowly moving from puree to more textured foods. You can do this by mashing things with a fork and not blending food till it's really smooth. Mash potato, banana and avocado are good starters. Soft cheeses, broccoli chunks and other soft foods. He may gag at first but that is okay and it's a natural reflex. When you see him gag don't show him your are scared.

I also think it would be a good idea to talk to someone about how you are feeling. Try to deal with it now because it won't be long and your DS will be eating a lot more than just soft foods. Gook luck.

#12 axiomae

Posted 24 January 2013 - 07:17 PM

Big chunks of soft food are great - hunks of banana, watermelon, avocado, steamed pumpkin etc. DD picks them up and then smooshes it all in her mouth - no choking, some gagging, lots of mess and a lot of fun original.gif

Good luck!

#13 Dylan's Mummy

Posted 25 January 2013 - 10:16 AM

Toast fingers are good, with butter or mashed avacado.. Also try steamed carrot sticks or sweet potato sticks, I freeze these and take some out to defrost and give to bub. Slices of banana. We also slice up strawberries and cut the slices into smaller pieces. A few weeks ago I started giving bub pieces of frittata about 2 x3cm.

Any easy way to add some texture to your bub's puréed is to add some small pasta, cook it until it is softer than you would have it yourself. . I buy soup pasta which is made by San Remo. I add steamed diced (very small) carrot and sweet potato to the mushes I make for bub too.

#14 misse10

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:55 AM

thanks guys. I have done a first aid course for babies, but it didn't help the nerves i'm afraid. but at least i have a vague idea what to do if he chokes!

i tried a jar of 8mo+ baby food and it had grains of rice and tiny cubes of pumpkin in it...he wasn't too keen and gagged on almost every mouthful, but i guess he'll get used to it. He's such a good/speedy puree eater that i guess any change will be tricky for him.

righto: action plan! mashed pumpkin, sticks of steamed veggies & toast soldiers. thanks guys ohmy.gif)




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.