Jump to content

Natural mc or d&c?


  • Please log in to reply
13 replies to this topic

#1 Sassi

Posted 21 January 2013 - 12:56 PM

I had my 9 week scan this morning and found out that our little baby's heart has stopped beating. I am inconsolable - at 42 pregnancy is a real (and rare) gift. This happened to me at about the same time in my pregnancy 12 months ago and I really thought this time everything would be fine.
Last time I had a d&c as it was a 'missed' miscarriage. This time I have started spotting and have the option to let nature run its course or have a d&c later this week. My inclination is to have another d&c and just get it over and done with so I can start healing (mentally and physically) but am concerned about the risk of permanent damage from multiple  d&c's. I would appreciate anyone's advice or experience from similar experiences.
My best wishes to everyone - hope everything goes well for you.
Many thanks



#2 BellO'Nromze

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:28 PM

Have PM'd you

#3 RCTP

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:33 PM

I am so sorry you lost bub Sassi x

I have had two miscarriages and have let both happen naturally but the bleeding went on for a few weeks with the second one so that was extra unpleasant.


#4 hanz33

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:34 PM

QUOTE (Bell07 @ 21/01/2013, 01:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Have PM'd you


What are the reasons you wouldn't want to go natural? original.gif

#5 libbylu

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:41 PM

Sorry for your loss.  It is such a heartbreaking experience.
My miscarriage was at 7 weeks, but had stopped growing at 5.5. I let it happen naturally and it was mostly fine. There was only one day where the cramping was very painful and I was really incapacitated. I think it was the third day of bleeding.  I bled for about a week all up and the other days were just like a normal period.  In hindsight I should have taken some painkillers on that hard day.  You'd want to be able to take a few days off work anyway, which is probably the best for your mental health in any case.

#6 LumpySpacePrincess

Posted 21 January 2013 - 03:28 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I recommend a d&c. I had a natural miscarriage afew months ago and it was excruciating. I bled for nearly 12wks. The bleeding started 2wks before I actually lost the first bub then it was another 2wks till i lost the second and the feeling of them passing out is something I'll never forget nor wish upon anyone. I wish I had been offered a d&c. In the days leading up to passing each bub I was in utter agony, I was writhing in pain and couldn't walk or even sit up most of the time. And because I bled for so long I ended up with a rash from having to wear pads so that long. There are pros and cons for both options but for me I'll never let it happen naturally again.

#7 caroldiem

Posted 21 January 2013 - 03:38 PM

Hi Sassi,

Firstly I am very sorry for your loss, it truly is heartbreaking too many angels in heaven.

D&C is surgery and there are risks associated to that, for me i would always opt for natural miscarriage. The biggest risk is getting Ashermans Syndrome this is where you have uterine scarring and it can affect your fertility and ability to have more children there is a link on my blog which takes you to a website explaining Ashermans Syndrome and the risks of mulitple D&Cs there is also a sticky at the top of the Miscarriage thread which was a thread a fellow EB member posted unfortunately due to multiple D&Cs she did suffer Ashermans it's not something you want to get

Edited by caroldiem, 21 January 2013 - 03:39 PM.


#8 Sassi

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:20 PM

Dear Bell07, RCTP, hanz33, libbylou,choesmum2008 and caroldiem,
Thank you so much for your support at this really difficult time. It is not an easy decision and I really appreciate your advice and support.
Best wishes

#9 big blue sky

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:42 PM

Hi Sassi
I have had two mis-miscarrriages (one at 13 weeks, one at 9 weeks). I know what you are going through and I'm sorry for your loss.  I had to have a d&c for both mine as I was not going to pass them naturally and I have had no problems or scaring, I'm now 11 weeks pg with everything looking fine (at 9 weeks, can't wait for the next scan to check everything is still ok). It is a very personal and hard choice, I hope it all works out for you.

#10 bettinae

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:41 AM

Sassi: I am so sorry for you loss xxxx and the fact that you have to even have this decision xxx bbighug.gif

I have had several M/C's and in the beginging mine were like yours where there was no heatbeat on ultrasound and on all occassions I have gone naturally..even on our latetest which was in dec 2011 and that was IVF and the nurse said that they now recomend that you just go natural...I was quiet suprised because 15 years ago when we first started having our M/C's they put you straight in and had a Dand C  and I had to fight to wait and go natural  Natural seemed complete then to me as horriable as it was ..... bbighug.gif  hheart.gif

Thinking of you and be kind to you and DH xxxxx

#11 fancie

Posted 22 January 2013 - 12:49 AM



OP, I'm very sorry for your loss.

When I had my M/C 15 years ago (I was 38yo back then) and no heart beat was detected at 7.5 weeks and slight bleeding, my dr advised me that it was better for the uterus to m/c naturally than to have a d&c.  He said that it was less traumatic for the uterus and it would 'heal' faster than having a procedure to hasten the loss.

Again, I'm so very sorry.  Take care

#12 envs

Posted 22 January 2013 - 01:13 AM

Hi Sassi

So sorry you have to go through this.

Fwiw, I let my bub go naturally at about 11 weeks. I had read in some magazine somewhere that a girl had almost been forced to do a d&c but the hospital relented. She had a natural miscarriage but it turned out that the u/s didn't pick up the second foetus, and had she had a d&c, her second bub would have been aborted needlessly along with the twin that had passed.

Hence, in vain hope, I went natural, but also to avoid the possibility of perforation of the uterus....i figured, if there were unexpelled products after going natural they could do the d&c then. It was absolutely excruciating, my dh stayed home with me and even though it was our first, he was compelled to say we didn't have to have any children if it meant that much pain for me ever again. Bless him : )

I wish you all the best whatever your decision.





#13 Sassi

Posted 22 January 2013 - 03:11 AM

Thank you to everyone who has posted
I know how hard it is to reflect on angel babies and truly appreciate you sharing what is such a heartbreaking and painful experience. Just knowing that I am not alone means so much. bbighug.gif

As painful and uncomfortable as it is (here I am at 3am), I think nature's way is probably the best way for me on this occasion.
I wish you all the very best for beautiful healthy bubs.

#14 KDA

Posted 23 January 2013 - 09:35 AM

So sorry for your loss.

I had 2 MC last year, the first one I had a d&c as I was in hospital and in far too much pain to go home. The 2nd one I wasn't as far along so decided to let nature do its job. I bled for about 2 weeks and passed many clots, so I thought it was over and done with. About 2 weeks later I started what I thought was AF returning. Within about 2 hours I had bled so much I was changing pads before I could even step out of the bathroom, turns out my body didn't naturally expel everything it should have and a lot of it was retained so I ended up having to have another d&c.

I wish you all the best.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Finding baby name inspiration in unusual places

Sometimes the greatest baby name ideas come from the most unexpected places, as these EB members show.

The case for inducing at 37 weeks

While we often think of pregnancy as a 40 week affair, experts agree that 37 weeks is actually “full term". So is there an argument for inducing all births at 37 weeks?

Does controlled crying really work?

Controlled-crying techniques may help some babies sleep through the night, but for many exhausted new parents, it's just a recipe for more tears all round.

How I taught my infant to use a toilet

As people become more aware of these benefits, I hope more parents will practice this method, so we can cut down on nappies and improve baby bonding.

'I thought it was impossible': Emily Symons pregnant at 45

Aussie actress Emily Symons has announced she is pregnant with her first baby.

Shallow water blackout kills fit, healthy dad

A little girl will grow up without her father after the fit and healthy 34-year-old passed away while doing something he had practised his whole life.

Afternoon naps may be bad for toddlers' sleep

You could be doing yourself a disservice by encouraging your toddler to have an afternoon nap, according to new research.

Best gifts for newborns, new mums and christenings

We've compiled a guide to some of the most popular presents for newborns and new mums, and for christenings and naming days.

Jaime King to be a mum again

Actress Jaime King is pregnant with her second child, giving 16-month-old James a sibling.

Nannies should receive government funding

The Abbott government should extend funding to nannies, and direct childcare payments to low and middle income families, a landmark study on childcare has found. 

Common skin irritations in newborns (and how to treat them)

As many as one in two newborn babies suffer from skin irritations in their first few weeks. So what are the most common rashes and irritations to look out for?

10 wall decals for the nursery or playroom

Wall decals are the answer to creating a beautiful nursery or children's space without lifting a paint brush, a spirit level or even a hammer.

Preschooler walks 2.4km home alone

Three-year-old Cain Trainor headed off home after his first day at a new preschool without telling anyone.

Video: Why mums get nothing done

In spite of being in an almost constant state of motion while looking after the kids and trying to keep things together at home, it can seem as though parents have managed to get nothing on the to-do list done by the end of the day.

The middle name game

The middle name is no longer an afterthought, and parents' inspiration comes from many places.

Have a baby or your money back - but there's a catch

A new IVF scheme offers couples the chance to fall pregnant and give birth - or get their money back. But there's more to it than you might think.

A rare glimpse inside the womb

A baby born still inside the amniotic sac gave US doctors a rare glimpse at life inside the womb.

Battered mum forced to write to her attacker ex in jail

Three years ago Jason Hughes viciously attacked his ex-partner. Now she has to write to him three times a year.

Woman pleads not guilty to ultrasound scam

A West Australian woman will fight allegations that she scammed expectant mums by selling them fake ultrasound pictures of babies.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Brain damaged mum receives compensation

A Sydney mother who suffered brain damage when she was hit by a car while pushing her newborn baby in a pram has reached a confidential out-of-court settlement with the driver's insurance company.

Indigenous midwives break down the barriers

A culturally sensitive midwifery service has gained the trust and respect of Aboriginal women.

The Katering Show's next big delivery

Most mums-to-be plan to take things easy and perhaps have a little break from work as the birth of their baby draws near. Not Kate McCartney.

53 creative pregnancy announcements

Announcing that you're expecting can be a time to express your creativity, sense of humour and imagination. Check out how other parents and parents-to-be have broken the news to friends and family.

Why I have mixed feelings about Cindy Crawford's leaked photo

Last week an un-retouched photo of model Cindy Crawford surfaced, showing the 48-year-old mother-of -two posing in underwear.

How to create a Peppa Pig pancake

Thought your toddler could not love pancakes any more than they already do? How about if the breakfast treat came in the shape of every two-year-old's favourite cartoon character?

'It's a little life, not a little loss': pregnancy after miscarriage

I thought I was never going to be able to have a successful pregnancy. I decided that I wasn't going to form an emotional attachment with this baby.

Bonds Baby Search 2015: what you need to know

February 18 marks the start of one of the most prolific annual baby competitions in Australia: the Bonds Baby Search. And this year is going to be more special than ever.

Who will manage your Facebook account when you're gone?

This is not something that people like to talk about, but Facebook has announced that it will grant users more control over what happens to their pages after they die.

Struggling mum of four wins $188 million

Mother of four Marie Holmes was financially struggling after quitting her jobs at Walmart and McDonald's in order to care for her children.

Pregnant obese women a 'relatively new problem', coroner hears

A first-time mother whose daughter died hours after her frightening birth insists she was never told of the risks of being obese and pregnant.

'I'm angry as hell': the story behind mum's passionate vaccination plea

She has labelled parents who do not vaccinate their children "misinformed imbeciles" - and for that, she makes no apologies.

IKEA hacks for the nursery and kids' rooms

Are you one of those that know the whole IKEA catalogue by heart? Love their stuff but want to personalise it? Here's some inspiration to help you realise the potential of IKEA furniture and fittings.

8 different kinds of tantrums

I never thought I’d say this, but for a brief moment last week, Kim Kardashian and I had something in common: both our kids had public tantrums.

Polycystic ovary syndrome: symptoms, treatment and your fertility

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is the most common female hormonal condition, affecting roughly one in 12 Australian women.

What's the best position for giving birth?

If doing it on your back is out, what's the best position for labour and birth?

Wife forgives snake catcher husband for car surprise

With Valentine's Day coming up, Nat Gilbert could be forgiven for thinking her husband might be planning a surprise for her.

Kids who meet milestones at their own pace

We usually only hear the success stories: tales of the two-year-old who’s talking, running and completely toilet trained. But other stories need to be told too.

Ruby shines as Bonds Baby

Sarah Kiss has a word of advice for proud mums and dads who are keen to enter their babies in this year's Bonds Baby Search Competition - just have fun.

Why dads should go to sleep school

If your family needs to go to sleep school, go with them. You are part of that family and you are part of the solution.

36 baby names inspired by food and drinks

A French court may have ruled out Nutella as a baby name, but that doesn't have to stop you from taking inspiration from the supermarket (or bottle shop). See what parents in the US have chosen for their delicious little ones.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Win a KitchenAid Mixer

Let's celebrate 300,000 fans on Facebook

To celebrate, and to thank our amazing fans, we?re giving away a KitchenAid Artisan Tilt-Head Stand Mixer.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.