Jump to content

ttc for 3 years


  • Please log in to reply
16 replies to this topic

#1 ttc_29

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:53 AM

Hi all. Im new here so will give a quick run down first.
Im 29 and my fiancee is 30. We have been ttc for 3 years with no  success. I have a retroverted uterus which some drs have said will not  affect ttc and some that say it does, so im not to sure on where i  stand.
I have a 10 year old daughter from a pervious relationship. I was 17  when i fell pregnant and 18 when i had her. The relationship with her  father turned abusive from when i was around 7 months pregnant, but  being young, pregnant and feeling stuck i stayed with him cos i didnt  know how to escape. I was very close to my mum but didnt tell her what  was going on. When my daughter was 18 months old i got the courage to  tell him to leave, after another bout of violence he did and then i  didnt see him again for a month. He came over to get something that he  forgot and as soon as i opened the door the attack started. For just  under an hour he punched, threw and kicked me, many kicks to my stomach.  I was in hospital for a week and a few weeks later they done an  ulrtasound and told me that my insides looked ok and that there shouldnt  be any problems falling pregnant. A couple years later in another  relationship i feel pregnant but miscarried, this put a lot of stress on  the relationship and it eventually ended, he blamed the miscarriage on  me and said that if i cant have his kid then he will find someone that  can.
Things have improved a lot since then and my new partner of 4 years is the best stepdad and fiancee anyone can find.
But we cant get pregnant. There shouldnt really be anything stopping us  from concieving and we're at a loss of what to do. We have tried  different positions that apparently help when you have retroverted  uterus but still nothing. We dont want to get the dredded fertility  tests done as we dont want to hear the news that one of us cant have  kids...
my reason for being on here is to hear success stories of ttc, people  that have been getting negative results for as long as we have and then  gotten pregnant...is there hope for people like us?

average period duration is 4 days, average cycle length is 28 days. my period is usually spot on within a day or two.

Edited by ttc_29, 21 January 2013 - 10:57 AM.


#2 raone

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

I'm not from this group but thought I would ask. Are you charting? and Bump you for the more experienced girls.

#3 Hands Up

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:00 AM

Hi, given how long you have been TTC I would defiitely ask for a referral from your GP to a FS. Doctors are all well and good but they are not specialists. I know it can be scary facing the tests, but the thing is that a lot of problems are treatable. If I had not gone to an FS I would never have found out that I wasn't ovulating..... and now I have options available.

Also are you using OPKs to track ovulation? They are lifesavers and can be bought super cheap on the internet. I find that easier than charting but that may also be an option for you.

You are lucky that you have a relatively stable cycle.
Good luck!



#4 ttc_29

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:02 AM

I use 'my cycles' app on my phone to chart myself. And we have sex every 2 days generally all the time except for when im on my period.

What are OPKs? sorry im new to this sorta lingo lol

Edited by ttc_29, 21 January 2013 - 11:05 AM.


#5 kiwi-girl

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:08 AM

QUOTE (ttc_29 @ 21/01/2013, 11:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We dont want to get the dredded fertility tests done as we dont want to hear the news that one of us cant have kids...


I am sorry that you are struggling. I have been through the tests and while there is anxiety as to what the results may be, I always think that knowledge is power. If there is anything that is impacting your infertility, by knowing about it, you will then be able to make a more informed assessment of your situation and the way forward. Your both young, so this is a great time to get checked out. Alot of couples struggle with fertility, sometimes it's due to the male, sometimes the female; and sometimes both indivduals bring challenges to the fertility journey.

I would be requesting a referral to a fertility specialist who can do all the neccessary checks/explorations of both of you.

Good luck

Edited by kiwi-girl, 21 January 2013 - 11:10 AM.


#6 HRH Countrymel

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:23 AM

If you've been charting etc. etc then.....

I'd get the dreaded tests done.

I have a retroverted uterus too and my FS said it wasn't anything to worry about, he apologised for pointing it out as of course I focussed on that - but he had just done so because it was interesting!

Get the tests done, your partner may have some 'swimmer' issues - often that is easily overcome with a better diet and some vitamins.

Without the tests you are still flying blind.

#7 Hands Up

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (ttc_29 @ 21/01/2013, 12:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I use 'my cycles' app on my phone to chart myself. And we have sex every 2 days generally all the time except for when im on my period.

What are OPKs? sorry im new to this sorta lingo lol



I am having mental blanks about what it stands for but they are pee on a sticks that you use to track when you are ovulating. For some people you can start getting a faint line up to two days before you so know it is go time! I buy mine from Fertility2Family but there are lots of companies out there..... If you have bd'ing every 2 days you are probably alright, but in the lead up to ovulation I try to bd every day (for at least 3 days beforehand).

Edited to say pee on a stick not exactly correct, you pee in a cup and then stick the OPK in. Hope that makes sense.

Edited by NSG, 21 January 2013 - 11:27 AM.


#8 kiwi-girl

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:29 AM

OPK - ovulation predictor kit

#9 ttc_29

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:38 AM

opk would let me know if im ovulating so that we could rule that out?? that way when i go to the drs i can tell them that the opk said i was ovulating or not ovulating if that is that case??

#10 nimble

Posted 21 January 2013 - 12:39 PM

Hi ttc_29!

Firstly I want to say how awful all of that must have been for you.  No one deserves such abuse.  I hope he got what he deserved in the end.  Men like that make me sick... but anyhow...it's great you're now with someone and both want to add to your family together.

Like the others suggest, I would advise getting the tests done.  Knowledge certainly is power and you're both relatively young so don't leave it and leave it and then find it might be harder to fix any issues you may have.  It is scary to have them done and it is scary to hear bad news but it is a way to being that step closer to having another bub.

Oh, and charting and OPK's are great to really help you understand your body and to figure out whether you are ovulating or not.  If you are, you can time BD to maximise your chances and if you're not then there's meds and treatments to help you ovulate.

Good luck with it all original.gif

#11 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 21 January 2013 - 12:53 PM

QUOTE
opk would let me know if im ovulating so that we could rule that out?? that way when i go to the drs i can tell them that the opk said i was ovulating or not ovulating if that is that case??


It will 'indicate' that you are, but the only way to know for sure is through blood work.

If you aren't comfortable with seeing a Fertility Specialist yet, ask for a referral to a Gyno, who can do some testing (more than a GP, but not as extensive as a FS) - also prepare your partner with the fact that they will want him to do a sperm test as well.



#12 cornflake head

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:01 PM

Hi TTC29, I am with the rest of the group suggesting you should get some tests done, it may be something relatively easy to treat.  As far as testing for ovulation I have a Maybe Baby Saliva tester which is awesome (quite expensive but you only have to buy it once, and then you can pass it along to friends/family to use - and no pee sticks tongue.gif ).

All the best.

#13 libbylu

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:01 PM

There are very few fertility problems that can't be overcome one way or another, so no need to be afraid of getting the tests done.  Since you have been able to fall pregnant several times before, I would be looking at your partner first - it is equally often a problem with the man's sperm as anything else.  Your GP can write a referral for a sperm analysis.  I would be starting there.  Then if that comes back normal there are some investigations you can undergo too.

I have a very retroverted uterus (retroverted with an accute retroflection) but noone ever suggested this would cause problems.  DHs sperm quality was the main issue in our situation.  We had to undergo IVF in the end, but it was quite straightforward for us and my little boy will be born over the next few weeks original.gif  I can't wait!

#14 Froyo

Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:22 PM

I'd definitely get a referral to a FS. I wouldn't bother with testing through a GP as the tests they run are far less comprehensive so FSes redo them all anyway.

#15 Kalota

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:31 PM

Hi OP, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this sad.gif

I know you don't want to go and get fertility tests, but it might be a good idea, especially after 3 years. If you see a fertility specialist, they might find something that other doctors haven't picked up on and they might be able to help you conceive.

I know it's scary, but if you go and see a specialist they'll be able to find the appropriate measures to help you have a baby original.gif

#16 Fillyjonk

Posted 28 January 2013 - 03:43 PM

Good luck OP. I think you should get the tests done too. I know that bad news is frightening. But I am of the opinion that bad news is better than no news when the outcome is going to be the same anyway. Especially if the bad news can be treated!!

For what it is worth, I have a retroverted uterus too and I have also been told that it shouldn't be a problem with conceiving. Though, it can have its own problems. At one point I was going for a HSG (a test to check whether they tubes are blocked) but due to my wonky uterus my cervix was in a funny position and they could not get the speculum in properly and therefore couldn't get the tube in and couldn't do the test.

Good luck again, and I hope you get lucky soon.

#17 Marchioness Flea

Posted 28 January 2013 - 03:57 PM

You say you don't want to get tests done in case you find out one of you has a problem...ok, so you'll spend the rest of your life wondering WHY you failed to get pregnant will you? Wouldn't it be far better to KNOW why it's not working and to get an action plan to make it work?
After 3 years I'd want to know some answers. In fact, that's how long I tried before further testing which turned into assisted conception(AC) and ending in IVF and a healthy baby.
In my mind, if you want a baby, you do what you have to to get one, even if it does mean invasive, uncomfortable tests.


1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

A solo birth, a wasp swarm and a forest fire: mum and baby's amazing story of survival

Desperate, out of petrol and low on food, a new mother lit a fire in the hope of attracting attention.

Boy found on swing died of hypothermia and dehydration, autopsy finds

The story was chilling and heartbreaking: a three-year-old boy was found dead in a Southern Maryland park, his mother pushing him on the swing.

Child's play and laughter help battle fatigue

Feeling fatigued? Uh-huh, thought as much. Join the queue.

Dad shares entertaining 'how to hold a baby' clip

For many new dads, their own child is the first baby they have ever held. So one dad has posted an instructive YouTube video titled "How to Hold a Baby".

The Australian baby with 100,000 Facebook fans

She may be only eight months old, but Egypt has already amassed more than 100,000 fans and received a letter from royalty - Hollywood royalty that is.

Public welcome outside church for Princess Charlotte's christening

Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have invited well-wishers to see Princess Charlotte outside church in Sandringham on day of her baptism.

Tongue tie: what you need to know

Tongue and lip tie can lead to many problems for babies - and their parents. Here are the signs of tongue tie and how it's treated.

My daughter is small but that doesn't matter

My daughter may be small, but it's my job as her parent to refocus back where it belongs - on who she is as a person

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Mother-in-law 'from hell' inspires survival guide

The happily ever after Nicola Milan had imagined wasn't to be – and she blames her mother-in-law.

Name your baby Quinoa, win a $10K gift card

Choosing a name for your little bundle of joy is always a major decision. It can be something traditional, trendy, creative … or inspired by the menu of your favourite chain restaurant.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

The 83 children who were tragically let down in the last decade

Over a 10-year period, 83 children died from domestic violence abuse in NSW, with three quarters of the victims aged five years or under, the NSW Ombudsman has revealed.

Expert Q&A: Gross motor skill development in toddlers and preschoolers

Dr Katie Heathershaw answers questions about jumping, toe walking, riding a bike and being pigeon toed.

Is it reasonable to expect your partner to give up drinking in pregnancy?

From the moment that I fell pregnant with my son, I realised just how much my life had already started to change.

Stroke victim joins class action against makers of popular contraceptive pill

"I was terrified I would always be this way. The pill needs to come with a much higher warning."

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

When newborn photoshoots get messy

When it comes to newborn photoshoots, it is all about the timing.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

Channel 10's Sarah Harris expecting first child

The Studio host Sarah Harris doesn't mind if her first baby is a boy or girl, but she does hope it is born with one thing in particular.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

 

FREE TICKET

Get your FREE ticket to the Baby & Toddler Show

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.