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ttc for 3 years

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#1 ttc_29

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:53 AM

Hi all. Im new here so will give a quick run down first.
Im 29 and my fiancee is 30. We have been ttc for 3 years with no  success. I have a retroverted uterus which some drs have said will not  affect ttc and some that say it does, so im not to sure on where i  stand.
I have a 10 year old daughter from a pervious relationship. I was 17  when i fell pregnant and 18 when i had her. The relationship with her  father turned abusive from when i was around 7 months pregnant, but  being young, pregnant and feeling stuck i stayed with him cos i didnt  know how to escape. I was very close to my mum but didnt tell her what  was going on. When my daughter was 18 months old i got the courage to  tell him to leave, after another bout of violence he did and then i  didnt see him again for a month. He came over to get something that he  forgot and as soon as i opened the door the attack started. For just  under an hour he punched, threw and kicked me, many kicks to my stomach.  I was in hospital for a week and a few weeks later they done an  ulrtasound and told me that my insides looked ok and that there shouldnt  be any problems falling pregnant. A couple years later in another  relationship i feel pregnant but miscarried, this put a lot of stress on  the relationship and it eventually ended, he blamed the miscarriage on  me and said that if i cant have his kid then he will find someone that  can.
Things have improved a lot since then and my new partner of 4 years is the best stepdad and fiancee anyone can find.
But we cant get pregnant. There shouldnt really be anything stopping us  from concieving and we're at a loss of what to do. We have tried  different positions that apparently help when you have retroverted  uterus but still nothing. We dont want to get the dredded fertility  tests done as we dont want to hear the news that one of us cant have  kids...
my reason for being on here is to hear success stories of ttc, people  that have been getting negative results for as long as we have and then  gotten pregnant...is there hope for people like us?

average period duration is 4 days, average cycle length is 28 days. my period is usually spot on within a day or two.

Edited by ttc_29, 21 January 2013 - 10:57 AM.

#2 raone

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:56 AM

I'm not from this group but thought I would ask. Are you charting? and Bump you for the more experienced girls.

#3 Hands Up

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:00 AM

Hi, given how long you have been TTC I would defiitely ask for a referral from your GP to a FS. Doctors are all well and good but they are not specialists. I know it can be scary facing the tests, but the thing is that a lot of problems are treatable. If I had not gone to an FS I would never have found out that I wasn't ovulating..... and now I have options available.

Also are you using OPKs to track ovulation? They are lifesavers and can be bought super cheap on the internet. I find that easier than charting but that may also be an option for you.

You are lucky that you have a relatively stable cycle.
Good luck!

#4 ttc_29

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:02 AM

I use 'my cycles' app on my phone to chart myself. And we have sex every 2 days generally all the time except for when im on my period.

What are OPKs? sorry im new to this sorta lingo lol

Edited by ttc_29, 21 January 2013 - 11:05 AM.

#5 kiwi-girl

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:08 AM

QUOTE (ttc_29 @ 21/01/2013, 11:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We dont want to get the dredded fertility tests done as we dont want to hear the news that one of us cant have kids...

I am sorry that you are struggling. I have been through the tests and while there is anxiety as to what the results may be, I always think that knowledge is power. If there is anything that is impacting your infertility, by knowing about it, you will then be able to make a more informed assessment of your situation and the way forward. Your both young, so this is a great time to get checked out. Alot of couples struggle with fertility, sometimes it's due to the male, sometimes the female; and sometimes both indivduals bring challenges to the fertility journey.

I would be requesting a referral to a fertility specialist who can do all the neccessary checks/explorations of both of you.

Good luck

Edited by kiwi-girl, 21 January 2013 - 11:10 AM.

#6 HRH Countrymel

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:23 AM

If you've been charting etc. etc then.....

I'd get the dreaded tests done.

I have a retroverted uterus too and my FS said it wasn't anything to worry about, he apologised for pointing it out as of course I focussed on that - but he had just done so because it was interesting!

Get the tests done, your partner may have some 'swimmer' issues - often that is easily overcome with a better diet and some vitamins.

Without the tests you are still flying blind.

#7 Hands Up

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (ttc_29 @ 21/01/2013, 12:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I use 'my cycles' app on my phone to chart myself. And we have sex every 2 days generally all the time except for when im on my period.

What are OPKs? sorry im new to this sorta lingo lol

I am having mental blanks about what it stands for but they are pee on a sticks that you use to track when you are ovulating. For some people you can start getting a faint line up to two days before you so know it is go time! I buy mine from Fertility2Family but there are lots of companies out there..... If you have bd'ing every 2 days you are probably alright, but in the lead up to ovulation I try to bd every day (for at least 3 days beforehand).

Edited to say pee on a stick not exactly correct, you pee in a cup and then stick the OPK in. Hope that makes sense.

Edited by NSG, 21 January 2013 - 11:27 AM.

#8 kiwi-girl

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:29 AM

OPK - ovulation predictor kit

#9 ttc_29

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:38 AM

opk would let me know if im ovulating so that we could rule that out?? that way when i go to the drs i can tell them that the opk said i was ovulating or not ovulating if that is that case??

#10 nimble

Posted 21 January 2013 - 12:39 PM

Hi ttc_29!

Firstly I want to say how awful all of that must have been for you.  No one deserves such abuse.  I hope he got what he deserved in the end.  Men like that make me sick... but anyhow...it's great you're now with someone and both want to add to your family together.

Like the others suggest, I would advise getting the tests done.  Knowledge certainly is power and you're both relatively young so don't leave it and leave it and then find it might be harder to fix any issues you may have.  It is scary to have them done and it is scary to hear bad news but it is a way to being that step closer to having another bub.

Oh, and charting and OPK's are great to really help you understand your body and to figure out whether you are ovulating or not.  If you are, you can time BD to maximise your chances and if you're not then there's meds and treatments to help you ovulate.

Good luck with it all original.gif

#11 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 21 January 2013 - 12:53 PM

opk would let me know if im ovulating so that we could rule that out?? that way when i go to the drs i can tell them that the opk said i was ovulating or not ovulating if that is that case??

It will 'indicate' that you are, but the only way to know for sure is through blood work.

If you aren't comfortable with seeing a Fertility Specialist yet, ask for a referral to a Gyno, who can do some testing (more than a GP, but not as extensive as a FS) - also prepare your partner with the fact that they will want him to do a sperm test as well.

#12 cornflake head

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:01 PM

Hi TTC29, I am with the rest of the group suggesting you should get some tests done, it may be something relatively easy to treat.  As far as testing for ovulation I have a Maybe Baby Saliva tester which is awesome (quite expensive but you only have to buy it once, and then you can pass it along to friends/family to use - and no pee sticks tongue.gif ).

All the best.

#13 libbylu

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:01 PM

There are very few fertility problems that can't be overcome one way or another, so no need to be afraid of getting the tests done.  Since you have been able to fall pregnant several times before, I would be looking at your partner first - it is equally often a problem with the man's sperm as anything else.  Your GP can write a referral for a sperm analysis.  I would be starting there.  Then if that comes back normal there are some investigations you can undergo too.

I have a very retroverted uterus (retroverted with an accute retroflection) but noone ever suggested this would cause problems.  DHs sperm quality was the main issue in our situation.  We had to undergo IVF in the end, but it was quite straightforward for us and my little boy will be born over the next few weeks original.gif  I can't wait!

#14 Froyo

Posted 21 January 2013 - 02:22 PM

I'd definitely get a referral to a FS. I wouldn't bother with testing through a GP as the tests they run are far less comprehensive so FSes redo them all anyway.

#15 Kalota

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:31 PM

Hi OP, I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this sad.gif

I know you don't want to go and get fertility tests, but it might be a good idea, especially after 3 years. If you see a fertility specialist, they might find something that other doctors haven't picked up on and they might be able to help you conceive.

I know it's scary, but if you go and see a specialist they'll be able to find the appropriate measures to help you have a baby original.gif

#16 Fillyjonk

Posted 28 January 2013 - 03:43 PM

Good luck OP. I think you should get the tests done too. I know that bad news is frightening. But I am of the opinion that bad news is better than no news when the outcome is going to be the same anyway. Especially if the bad news can be treated!!

For what it is worth, I have a retroverted uterus too and I have also been told that it shouldn't be a problem with conceiving. Though, it can have its own problems. At one point I was going for a HSG (a test to check whether they tubes are blocked) but due to my wonky uterus my cervix was in a funny position and they could not get the speculum in properly and therefore couldn't get the tube in and couldn't do the test.

Good luck again, and I hope you get lucky soon.

#17 Marchioness Flea

Posted 28 January 2013 - 03:57 PM

You say you don't want to get tests done in case you find out one of you has a problem...ok, so you'll spend the rest of your life wondering WHY you failed to get pregnant will you? Wouldn't it be far better to KNOW why it's not working and to get an action plan to make it work?
After 3 years I'd want to know some answers. In fact, that's how long I tried before further testing which turned into assisted conception(AC) and ending in IVF and a healthy baby.
In my mind, if you want a baby, you do what you have to to get one, even if it does mean invasive, uncomfortable tests.

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