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Could you give up Facebook - really give it up.
48 replies to this topic
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:40 AM
My husband started a new job in November so has worked right through Christmas and did last year as well . Whilst the girls and I have had a nice break together, we haven't really done a lot and at times I have felt a little ground hog day at home and money is a little tight these holidays.
Well I have to admit for the first time ever I feel like a little green eyed monster and am suffering what I can only describe as "Facebook Envy" . I'm serious, everyone is away on holidays, overseas, has family and friends staying with them or is doing every possible "expensive holiday activity" under the sun.
My husband said I've turned into a real grumpy bum, feeling sorry for myself and he wants me to get off Facebook, but I actually don't think I can. I would only feel like I was missing out on what is happening with everyone and I would feel out of the loop (sad as that is).
Do you yourself have this love / hate relationship with Facebook, where some days you just want to close your account and never go back, but you know in reality you never could
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:49 AM
Nope. What others are going doesn't bother me. I'm sure there are some people on your list not having a wow of a time. That doesn't make it to Facebook. I really don't understand why people let Facebook interfere in their life tbh.
If it has though start limiting your time there. Give it to yourself as an hour wind down reward on the afternoon/evening after you've been out for the day doing stuff with yours kids. There's heaps of low/no cost activities. Get off Facebook and go out and live. You don't need a ban on it to change things.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:50 AM
I've never joined Facebook, so I have similar issues from the other side.
People think that if they put something on Facebook, "everybody" knows, so I'm often left out of the loop on important things/events because nobody bothers to email or phone me. (And then I'm the bad guy for not knowing/responding! Does my head in!)
I can see how it would be useful, and I think it would be hard to step back from that, if you've become used to it.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:50 AM
I use it many times a day from my iPhone.
It's a double-edged sword. I use it to keep in touch with family and friends in Europe.
I also got into Twitter recently.
I find if I am having a day where too many posts are aggravating me I try to avoid it for the rest of the day.
I think it is cyber overload sometimes.
Twitter is great for keeping up with news snippets but it is so argumentative (I include myself in that) and provocative sometimes it's not worth my mental health to read the tweets!
So while I wouldn't give either up, sometimes I have to be strict on myself.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:54 AM
I couldn't give it up, I use it to stay in touch with some family members, actually because of staying in touch via facebook I know that a friend I went to school with is about 6 weeks behind me in pregnancy and she now lives down my way. YAY!
I also have a few support groups that I am part of that I wouldn't be part of if it were not for facebook.
I do use twitter, but really just have the news websites and the like on my twitter and I can grab the headlines in the morning without trawling through the news websites.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:55 AM
On many levels, I feel it such a useful tool for communication and yes Ange Vert I can see your frustration, so many times I've heard people say the same thing and others like yourself feel left out.
For the most part, I really enjoy keeping up to date with what friends and family are doing, I love looking at the photos, I feel like it keeps us connected even when you are not seeing that person. It makes me feel like you are still up to date on certain things that are happening, but I can also see the lack of picking up the telephone and the art of communication.
But yes I had to admit it, but definite Facebook Envy these holidays
Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:56 AM
I have a love/hate relationship with it and have left it a few times.
I miss my overseas friends though, and without it it's too hard to be included in the photos that go around etc.
It's a necessary evil in my life as all of my friends are on it.
I think if we all left and just went back to online chatting and emails, it would be fine. But because they stay, I have to stay too.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:01 AM
I have no interest in giving it up.
I am 9000 miles from everyone on my side, and I miss my cousins and aunts/uncles and like seeing all their stupid pics of something their baby/dog/houseplant is doing as it makes me feel less out of the loop and "gone."
I still talk to my parents/siblings on the phone but for great-aunts and second cousins and so on, Facebook is really nice for staying in contact w/o having to hunt down people individually.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:01 AM
No, I couldn't give it up, I am too nosey about what everyone else is doing...
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:07 AM
There is one person on facebook who I would cheerfully strangle. You know, uber awesome wonderful life complete with enough photos and rubbing it in to make me feel pretty darn cranky should I look at her page.
So I have edited settings so that said persons posts and photos do not appear in my news feed and all is wonderful.
Also I'm not sure if its envy as such. Its just the way said person seems to convey a sense of superiority that gets on my goat.
Eta- wouldn't give it up, no. I'd feel out of the loop. I just remove people that irritate me or hide them.
Edited by Excentrique, 21 January 2013 - 09:08 AM.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:09 AM
I was a FB addict and I gave it up. It was so liberating! I pledged to use that time doing more quality activities with my children... such as playgrounds, baking, playing Uno, doing craft etc. I didn't want to look back at my life and regret all the wasted time on FB. I didn't want to miss out on my children growing up. Its just a time waster.
Now I have to actually call or text people if I want to catch up with them, which means I'm probably more social than I was before!
I would urge you to get off it! You'll be happier...especially if reading everyone else's life makes you miserable.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:13 AM
I DID give it up.
I spent just under a year on it and decided it was crap so I cancelled my account. I only joined to see some pics of someone's newborn. In the end though, I hate FB so much that I'd rather skip the pics than be a member.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:16 AM
I have given it up to some extent. I deleted everyone but family. I am slowly rebuilding friends but only those I actually see (read = 'real friends').
What I find is that I have no high school friends (I left 20 years ago), no primary school friends (haven't been there in 25 years!), and no current or ex colleagues.
I think I have found the perfect medium. I don't miss the 10 instant 'likes' every time I comment, or the meaningless birthday wishes, or the envy factor.
Facebook is great, but I found it too much overwhelming white noise.
Can you try to change the way you use it, OP? I experimented gradually until I felt I could unfriend people with a clear conscience (and I did a little 'seeya, I love youse all' update I kept up for a day or so before).
ETA: and ABSOLUTELY no school mums on my FB *shudder*
Edited by FrogIsAFrogIsAFrog, 21 January 2013 - 09:29 AM.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:17 AM
I have given it up in the past as well, for nearly 12 months I went without it, and I could happily do it again.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:19 AM
I definitely want to close my account but for different reasons. I don't like the interconnectedness of all things that is happening on the web at the moment. I don't want my facebook account to try and automatically link to other accounts - it's like I have to have a different email address for everything now and use separate browsers to do separate things just to stop all that linkage. However, everything IS interconnected, so closing my facebook account means losing other things.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:22 AM
No, I couldn't give it up. In order to give it up I'd have to be using it in the first place.
I have an account, because I work in media and pretty much have to, but when I go in there (rarely) I don't update, it's mainly to see other people's baby photos and such. Maybe once a month. I keep chat turned off.
Apart from the privacy issues I have with Facebook, I don't like it ideologically in that it shrugs and says there's nothing it can do about the racism and misogyny plastered all over it, but last I looked it was still removing breastfeeding photos as "inappropriate".
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:25 AM
I couldn't give it up as much as it drives me up the wall sometimes.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:25 AM
I'm in the process of drastically cutting back on Facebook. I'm deactivating my old account and creating a new one and only adding people I actually talk to. So about 20 people but I hope with DD1 starting PP this year that I'll be adding some more real friends to the list
I think technically I could live without it, but in a big way it connects me to people when all our lives are quite hectic.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:28 AM
I gave it up about 18 months ago. I was 23 at the time and I gave it up because my now DF and I decided it would be bad for our relationship. I was addicted. We couldn't go to dinner without me checking it. It was frustrating him to no end. He basically gave me an ultimatum - him or the book. In my mind it was a no brainer. He gave it up too, he said he only got on there to talk to girls anyway! Haha.
It was tough at first - but I made some BIG life changes all at the same time - new phone number, new house, no facebook, new job. Honestly, no facebook was the easiest. I have noticed my friendship group has dwindled since then - we tend to get forgetten for invites to parties and such - but the relationships I do have are stronger. We don't take advantage of the drip feeding of information, we make time to see each other.
I am due in March this year and both parents and my sister are going away for 6 months. I will probably start a new account around then to keep them updated on my life, but I will only be adding family and genuine friends. DF has told me numerous times I can reactivate it, he knows I've broken that habit, but honestly, I'm not interested. It's nothing but gossip, people showing off their lives and crappy inspirational quotes!
I think if it makes you miserable, get rid of it. Would you keep hanging out with a friend who made you cranky / sad all the time or would you give yourself some distance?
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:31 AM
It's useful to keep in mind that only the very best of people's lives make it onto Facebook.
As a complete aside, you don't need money to have fun. I'm not sure where you live but as a Melbournite - a trip to Albert Park beach, a tour of the best playgrounds around, a drive up the hills to feed the birds, flying a kite at a local park or throwing a frisbee... All were fun, and free!
For me, it's just about making a commitment to leave the house and go do something, anything...
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:32 AM
I don't think I could give it up at the moment, as it helps me stay connected to overseas family/friends and a local support group I've joined- so much easier than multiple emails/texts IMHO.
However, I have drastically cut down my 'Friends' list as I was so frustrated with all the 'me me me' I was seeing on a daily basis. I also get very frustrated with friends IRL who sit down with me at the coffee shop then spend a few minutes on their iphone 'tagging' where they are, who they are with, etc....uggh.
My attitude now is, if they have so much time to post their fabulous status updates & pictures in the middle of their activity, it can't be that great.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:37 AM
I went on an overseas holiday earlier in the year and didn't have access to the internet. Got back and realised i didn't miss facebook one little bit so i deactivated my account.
I also found i fell into the trap of not bothering to get in contact with my close friends because from reading their status updates and seeing their pictures, i knew what was going on in their lives.
I am glad i no longer have it.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:43 AM
No I wouldn't. It helps me stay a part of people's lives who I otherwise would see rarely or (in the case of friends I have made online) never.
Plus I run part of my business through it and use it for committee work.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:44 AM
I'm very tempted to give it up especially with the frequent banning of breastfeeding photos and the barage of advertising but I have a 'private' mothers groups (started on EB) on there that kept me (and still does) sane in my early days of motherhood. I will always have fond memories of sitting on the couch in the early hours breastfeeding my DD and chatting to friends all around Australia. We still have frequent contact and share our many ups and downs. We even meet up sometimes in real life! I never want to give up my group and currently I think Facebook is the best place for such a group.
Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:46 AM
I think I should give it up . However I run a page associated with my blog which I want to keep. I am also administrator for 2 work pages. So I can't
I know that I'm unhealthily attached to it though. I have it open all day long (I work from home). And I'm always checking it/commenting etc.
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