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Why do you think she does this?


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15 replies to this topic

#1 BubbleBird

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:51 AM

Just interested in what others make of this. It's pretty fluffy but just baffels me.  
Every time my MIL looks after my DS she does strange things with his clothes. For example, Saturday night we dropped DS there so we could go out. Left a bag which I told here had his PJs in it. When we go to pick him up (asleep) he is wearing old clothes that she has left from her other grand kids. They weren't even PJs. They were a t shirt and uncomfy pair of shorts. Now I have to wash them, have them hang around my house and remember to return them to her.
This isn't a once off. She often puts him in girls clothes that she has there rather than using the spare clothes that I send along with him. I just find it strange. I can't ask her about it, I wouldn't get a straight answer  rolleyes.gif

#2 katpaws

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:52 AM

How old is she? Is there a FIL around? Does she have any medical conditions?



#3 ~sydblue~

Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:56 AM

Maybe she thought she was saving you washing. I know she isn't, but it could be the reason.

#4 zzgirl

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:00 AM

Early dementia........... (of course I'm not a qualified professional)!!

#5 CallMeFeral

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:00 AM

To have them she must have been saving them for something - maybe she likes the idea of having clothes for him there, so she wants to get some use out of them?

#6 Studybug

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:07 AM

QUOTE (CallMeAliG @ 21/01/2013, 08:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
To have them she must have been saving them for something - maybe she likes the idea of having clothes for him there, so she wants to get some use out of them?


I think this is on the money.

#7 LittleRB

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:13 AM

Does she know about the spare clothes? Do you discuss the pj thing with her e.g. these items are in xx bag and DS needs to sleep in these pyjamas?

Maybe she just doesn't like your taste in clothing?



#8 2anewme

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:18 AM

My mother does this.  It's her "grandparenting stamp" as we like to call it.

I could send my girls there with a full suitcase of clothes and they would come home in something completely diferent that my mother just "had in the cupboard".

I think she does it to feel important.  Like she's playing the parent role rather than being handed a child with a list of instructions.

Yes I could argue, but honestly I couldn't be bothered.  I use to just change them when I got home and send the clothes back.  

These days though its happening less and less, my 2 DDs are vocal enough to know what they want to wear and they usually pick the clothes in their bags anyway and want to wear them.  



#9 lizzzard

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:19 AM

QUOTE (zzgirl @ 21/01/2013, 09:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Early dementia........... (of course I'm not a qualified professional)!!

I hope not because my mum does this too !!!

I've put it down to:
1. preferring to keep clothes at her house and use them
2. sometimes thinking the clothes I've sent are 'too good' for general playtime (I wouldn't send them if that was the case  rolleyes.gif)

It does annoy me, but I just put up with it and don't stress too much about getting them back to her...I usually leave it up to her to find them next time she's at my house (which is every week, so there's plenty of opportunity Tounge1.gif)

#10 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:19 AM

QUOTE (CallMeAliG @ 21/01/2013, 09:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
To have them she must have been saving them for something - maybe she likes the idea of having clothes for him there, so she wants to get some use out of them?



This would be my bet also. I think of all the MIL gripes I have seen on EB this is probably the fluffiest one I have seen.

#11 qak

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:33 AM

QUOTE (BubbleBird @ 21/01/2013, 08:51 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can't ask her about it, I wouldn't get a straight answer  rolleyes.gif


Can you ask her to make sure DS is in his own clothes when he is collected?

#12 JustBeige

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:53 AM

I would just think she does it because she thinks my clothes are too 'good' for them and doesnt want them to get dirty.  

If it bothered me, I would change my kids at her house and leave them for her to deal with.

Dont worry about it too much OP.  As PP said, once they are old enough they will let her know if they do or dont like what she is waving at them, especially when they know they have their own pjs in the bag.

#13 EsmeLennox

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:57 AM

My MIL used to do things like that too when the kids were smaller. Now of they stay out there she has to wash everything before she sends it home. No matter how many times I say, just stick it in their bag, you don't have to wash their clothes, she always does. It's not a big deal I just let it go, it gives he some kind of pleasure to do it. The kids usually ask me to rewash their stuff anyway because the laundry detergent my MIl uses has a strong perfume which they (and I TBH) hate, but we keep that between us.

#14 Rachaelxxx

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:59 AM

That's a pain isn't it having to wash them and return them.  Maybe she is showing you she has the clothes at home to care for him as silly as that sounds. Maybe she doesn't realise you have spare clothes for him.  Not too sure, that's a hard one.

#15 lozoodle

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:01 AM

My MIL used to do the exact same things! She used to babysit for me every Monday when I worked (her request, I hated it, but thankfully she wanted to stop when I had DD2) and she used to carry on about DD1 being "her baby" etc rolleyes.gif

Anyway, she used to change her out of her normal clothes when she got there, dress her up in whatever she had there (usually hand me downs from somewhere) and then change her back into her normal clothes to hand back to me. She said that she wanted her to look "pretty" when she took her to the park so she would take her in these ridiculous frilly dresses and things etc.

So strange. But she is strange in general.

#16 Chelara

Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:02 AM

She likes to provide for him, it makes her feel important?




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