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Cosmetic surgery
What to tell the kids


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#1 nom de plume

Posted 20 January 2013 - 07:54 PM

Just wondering what those who have had or going to have cosmetic surgery or weight loss surgery have told their children.

For example, breast reduction or breast enlargement surgery - if you have kids old enough to notice, what do you tell them?  

I'm a petite woman with oversized breasts. I'd dearly love a reduction. There are other reasons stopping me at this stage, but one of them is what to tell my kids and what message it would send them. I have three kids. The eldest being 9 and the youngest 5. Two of them are girls.

I'd love to hear other opinions and experiences.



#2 Mummzy

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:08 PM

Once I am done having Children I will be getting a breast reduction and reconstruction, I am also only tiny and my breasts are an 8-10G-H. My left breast is also 2 sizes bigger then my right. I get chronic back pain. I will also be getting abdominal surgery and stitching my muscles back together that have separated in 3 places and cutting away the loose flabby skin.I will tell my children the truth, I needed the surgery for my health and to make myself feel better as the body I have now is hurting my self esteem and causing damage to other parts of my body.

#3 Literary Lemur

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:16 PM

Breast reduction is oten done for health reasons (bad back etc) rather than just cosmetic and if that is the case I would focus on that.

"My back is hurting and the doctors have said that if they make my breasts smaller the pain should go away."



#4 Polly Esther

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:30 PM

I've had the gastric sleeve so told DD about it. She wanted to know why, so I explained that I was using food like a medicine, and that I was eating far too much and far too unhealthily, and that I needed some help to stop, because all that eating was making me sick. My blood pressure was 200/120 and my BMI was 41.9.

She understands that I cannot eat as much as other people, but I never really mentioned that I wanted to look smaller or that I was fat, I just focused it all on health. I wanted to be healthier, and I am. I find fruit delicious, whereas I didn't before and take-away is something I am not impressed with eating, whereas before I would have had it each and every meal if I could have afforded to.

At first she would laugh about the small portions I'd serve myself, but now she's used to it. I eat less, it's just how it goes in our family. When I was on my pre-op diet, she knew I wasn't allowed to eat certain things and was on a shakes diet, and she used to follow me around and ask, "Did the doctor say that's a part of your diet?" and scold me if I was considering cheating.

I hope she continues to see it as she currently does - as an option her mother took for her health. Of course she will eventually understand that I didn't like life as an obese woman and wanted to lose weight, but I am definitely very happy with the fact that I'm no longer waiting for a heart attack. My blood pressure is normal now.

I am considering plastic surgery in future, as having her (10lbs 4oz) and my weight loss has meant my stomach isn't very comfortable or pretty, and will only be fixed with surgery. Exercise hasn't done much for the loose skin that lives there. My inner thighs are also full of sagging skin, and I'd like to get that removed too. It's very uncomfortable, particularly in pants or when I move a lot, so I suppose I'll explain that as well as I can - that I find it uncomfortable. Of course it's unsightly too, but I think I could deal with it a lot easier if it wasn't uncomfortable. The discomfort is what bothers me most.

My boobs and arms are also other things I dislike, but considering they'd just be cosmetic I'm not sure the message I'd be sending would be good, so I'm not sure about getting those done. On one hand I think I'd be telling her that if you're not happy with yourself, you have the right to do what you can to make yourself happy, but on the other hand, I think I'd be sending the message that you're never good enough as you naturally are.


#5 Propaganda

Posted 20 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

I haven't had any surgeries like this but if I did I think I'd just tell the truth.

The child would get to an age where they realised most of the truths to it anyway. No point in lying.

#6 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:36 AM

I'm having a mummy makeover when we are finished with kids, and my eldest will be 6 or 7 by then. I haven't really thought about what I'll tell her

#7 ~sydblue~

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:00 AM

QUOTE (nom de plume @ 20/01/2013, 08:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just wondering what those who have had or going to have cosmetic surgery or weight loss surgery have told their children.

For example, breast reduction or breast enlargement surgery - if you have kids old enough to notice, what do you tell them?  

I'm a petite woman with oversized breasts. I'd dearly love a reduction. There are other reasons stopping me at this stage, but one of them is what to tell my kids and what message it would send them. I have three kids. The eldest being 9 and the youngest 5. Two of them are girls.

I'd love to hear other opinions and experiences.

Tell her the truth. In your case it isn't really for wanting to make yourself look good. Oversized breasts can be really uncomfortable and hurt.

QUOTE (amoral lemur @ 20/01/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Breast reduction is oten done for health reasons (bad back etc) rather than just cosmetic and if that is the case I would focus on that.

"My back is hurting and the doctors have said that if they make my breasts smaller the pain should go away."

This is how my SIL told her kids. She also paid a lot less, because it was for health reasons or something like that.


#8 Ruby Gloom

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:35 AM

When I had weight loss surgery I told my (then 6 year old) son the truth but in a way that he would understand (ie age appropriate language). The same will go for when/if I have cosmetic surgery to help with excess skin.

#9 AntiBourgeoisie

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:46 AM

I'm not sure about masquerading it as a health issue.
What's wrong with saying that you don't like how you look and you want to change it?
If you feel strongly that this is wrong, don't get it done.
If you feel like this is acceptable in certain circumstances, tell your kids the truth and engage them in an actual discussion about it.

#10 Escapin

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:47 AM

My mum had her boobs reduced when I was in my teens. She had 3 kids and her boobs just go bigger after each one. She was a 12G. It was never seen or discussed as 'cosmetic', as a boob reduction is a BIG operation with a long recovery time. Since I have huge boobs too, I was just a bit jealous! Mum has permanent dents in her shoulders from her bra holding all the weight up, and she was getting a sore back too. She went to a size C, much better original.gif

#11 nom de plume

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:06 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 21/01/2013, 04:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My mum had her boobs reduced when I was in my teens. She had 3 kids and her boobs just go bigger after each one. She was a 12G. It was never seen or discussed as 'cosmetic', as a boob reduction is a BIG operation with a long recovery time. Since I have huge boobs too, I was just a bit jealous! Mum has permanent dents in her shoulders from her bra holding all the weight up, and she was getting a sore back too. She went to a size C, much better original.gif

Whilst I'm not yet a G cup, my situation is similar to your mum's story. My girls haven't matured yet, but I do have concerns that if I have breast surgery that it will make them think about themselves differently when they grow.




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