Jump to content

Cosmetic surgery
What to tell the kids


  • Please log in to reply
10 replies to this topic

#1 nom de plume

Posted 20 January 2013 - 07:54 PM

Just wondering what those who have had or going to have cosmetic surgery or weight loss surgery have told their children.

For example, breast reduction or breast enlargement surgery - if you have kids old enough to notice, what do you tell them?  

I'm a petite woman with oversized breasts. I'd dearly love a reduction. There are other reasons stopping me at this stage, but one of them is what to tell my kids and what message it would send them. I have three kids. The eldest being 9 and the youngest 5. Two of them are girls.

I'd love to hear other opinions and experiences.



#2 Mummzy

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:08 PM

Once I am done having Children I will be getting a breast reduction and reconstruction, I am also only tiny and my breasts are an 8-10G-H. My left breast is also 2 sizes bigger then my right. I get chronic back pain. I will also be getting abdominal surgery and stitching my muscles back together that have separated in 3 places and cutting away the loose flabby skin.I will tell my children the truth, I needed the surgery for my health and to make myself feel better as the body I have now is hurting my self esteem and causing damage to other parts of my body.

#3 Rainbow Lemur

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:16 PM

Breast reduction is oten done for health reasons (bad back etc) rather than just cosmetic and if that is the case I would focus on that.

"My back is hurting and the doctors have said that if they make my breasts smaller the pain should go away."



#4 Polly Esther

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:30 PM

I've had the gastric sleeve so told DD about it. She wanted to know why, so I explained that I was using food like a medicine, and that I was eating far too much and far too unhealthily, and that I needed some help to stop, because all that eating was making me sick. My blood pressure was 200/120 and my BMI was 41.9.

She understands that I cannot eat as much as other people, but I never really mentioned that I wanted to look smaller or that I was fat, I just focused it all on health. I wanted to be healthier, and I am. I find fruit delicious, whereas I didn't before and take-away is something I am not impressed with eating, whereas before I would have had it each and every meal if I could have afforded to.

At first she would laugh about the small portions I'd serve myself, but now she's used to it. I eat less, it's just how it goes in our family. When I was on my pre-op diet, she knew I wasn't allowed to eat certain things and was on a shakes diet, and she used to follow me around and ask, "Did the doctor say that's a part of your diet?" and scold me if I was considering cheating.

I hope she continues to see it as she currently does - as an option her mother took for her health. Of course she will eventually understand that I didn't like life as an obese woman and wanted to lose weight, but I am definitely very happy with the fact that I'm no longer waiting for a heart attack. My blood pressure is normal now.

I am considering plastic surgery in future, as having her (10lbs 4oz) and my weight loss has meant my stomach isn't very comfortable or pretty, and will only be fixed with surgery. Exercise hasn't done much for the loose skin that lives there. My inner thighs are also full of sagging skin, and I'd like to get that removed too. It's very uncomfortable, particularly in pants or when I move a lot, so I suppose I'll explain that as well as I can - that I find it uncomfortable. Of course it's unsightly too, but I think I could deal with it a lot easier if it wasn't uncomfortable. The discomfort is what bothers me most.

My boobs and arms are also other things I dislike, but considering they'd just be cosmetic I'm not sure the message I'd be sending would be good, so I'm not sure about getting those done. On one hand I think I'd be telling her that if you're not happy with yourself, you have the right to do what you can to make yourself happy, but on the other hand, I think I'd be sending the message that you're never good enough as you naturally are.


#5 Propaganda

Posted 20 January 2013 - 09:31 PM

I haven't had any surgeries like this but if I did I think I'd just tell the truth.

The child would get to an age where they realised most of the truths to it anyway. No point in lying.

#6 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 21 January 2013 - 01:36 AM

I'm having a mummy makeover when we are finished with kids, and my eldest will be 6 or 7 by then. I haven't really thought about what I'll tell her

#7 ~sydblue~

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:00 AM

QUOTE (nom de plume @ 20/01/2013, 08:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just wondering what those who have had or going to have cosmetic surgery or weight loss surgery have told their children.

For example, breast reduction or breast enlargement surgery - if you have kids old enough to notice, what do you tell them?  

I'm a petite woman with oversized breasts. I'd dearly love a reduction. There are other reasons stopping me at this stage, but one of them is what to tell my kids and what message it would send them. I have three kids. The eldest being 9 and the youngest 5. Two of them are girls.

I'd love to hear other opinions and experiences.

Tell her the truth. In your case it isn't really for wanting to make yourself look good. Oversized breasts can be really uncomfortable and hurt.

QUOTE (amoral lemur @ 20/01/2013, 09:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Breast reduction is oten done for health reasons (bad back etc) rather than just cosmetic and if that is the case I would focus on that.

"My back is hurting and the doctors have said that if they make my breasts smaller the pain should go away."

This is how my SIL told her kids. She also paid a lot less, because it was for health reasons or something like that.


#8 Ruby Gloom

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:35 AM

When I had weight loss surgery I told my (then 6 year old) son the truth but in a way that he would understand (ie age appropriate language). The same will go for when/if I have cosmetic surgery to help with excess skin.

#9 AntiBourgeoisie

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:46 AM

I'm not sure about masquerading it as a health issue.
What's wrong with saying that you don't like how you look and you want to change it?
If you feel strongly that this is wrong, don't get it done.
If you feel like this is acceptable in certain circumstances, tell your kids the truth and engage them in an actual discussion about it.

#10 Escapin

Posted 21 January 2013 - 06:47 AM

My mum had her boobs reduced when I was in my teens. She had 3 kids and her boobs just go bigger after each one. She was a 12G. It was never seen or discussed as 'cosmetic', as a boob reduction is a BIG operation with a long recovery time. Since I have huge boobs too, I was just a bit jealous! Mum has permanent dents in her shoulders from her bra holding all the weight up, and she was getting a sore back too. She went to a size C, much better original.gif

#11 nom de plume

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:06 AM

QUOTE (Escapin @ 21/01/2013, 04:47 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My mum had her boobs reduced when I was in my teens. She had 3 kids and her boobs just go bigger after each one. She was a 12G. It was never seen or discussed as 'cosmetic', as a boob reduction is a BIG operation with a long recovery time. Since I have huge boobs too, I was just a bit jealous! Mum has permanent dents in her shoulders from her bra holding all the weight up, and she was getting a sore back too. She went to a size C, much better original.gif

Whilst I'm not yet a G cup, my situation is similar to your mum's story. My girls haven't matured yet, but I do have concerns that if I have breast surgery that it will make them think about themselves differently when they grow.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Dealing with a toddler's morning tantrums

Your schedule is not important to your two-year-old, and you cannot convince her otherwise. So what can you do?

Child in suitcase 'could have died eight years ago'

A child whose remains were dumped in a suitcase in the South Australian bush is believed to have been a girl aged between two-and-a-half to four.

MP breastfeeds baby during parliamentary session

An Argentinian mum and politician has caused a stir on social media after being filmed breastfeeding her baby.

My baby's first seizure

It was 1am on a cold winter's night when I woke suddenly to the screams of my 12-month-old son. Our lives were about to change forever.

Portable pools 'more dangerous than permanent ones'

Inflatable and portable children's pools may be required to be sold with compulsory fencing to prevent backyard drownings, with some experts even floating the idea of a ban.

Heartbreaking moment mum kisses her one-week-old goodbye

At 11.07am on April 2 this year, Sarah Marriott welcomed baby Sebastian into the world.

The amazing Tee Pee bed and kid-friendly Frankie Bunk bed

These kids' beds definitely fit the brief of providing personality and personal space for little people who are moving up in the world.

The funny things kids say when you're pregnant

Since becoming noticeably pregnant, my son has taken more of an interest in the sibling he'll soon have.

The real problem with having one child

In this age of political correctness, it seems the one subject still subject to discrimination is that of the Only Child.

Six-week-old baby found dead, believed stabbed

A neighbour heard a child screaming before a baby was found dead, believed to have been stabbed, in a house in Newcastle.

The fire hazard in more than 70,000 Australian homes

So far, 206 Samsung washing machines have caught fire and some have exploded. But many remain in people's homes.

How having a baby can bring on OCD

We all know that having a baby can turn your life upside down - and it can also bring a raft of new anxieties and worries.

IVF gender selection being considered for Australian parents

Couples using IVF may be able to choose the gender of their babies and women could be financially compensated for donating their eggs.

The best age to get married (according to the latest study)

Not too young, and not too old. That's reportedly the best age to get married. Not everyone agrees.

Yes, you can get pregnant before your period returns post-baby

After giving birth, the last thing you want to think about is contraception. But you can get pregnant before your period comes back.

Fellow diner rewards mum after toddler's tantrum

Parents of toddlers everywhere know the feeling. After working up the courage to take your child out for lunch or dinner in public you are rewarded with a mid-meal meltdown. 

IKEA begins massive safety campaign after two toddler deaths

Two children were killed when pieces from their Malm furniture line tipped over.

Beaneasy: sweet nursery furniture with a twist

If you're looking to introduce an organic element into your baby's nursery but want to step away from natural timber, we have the perfect alternative.

A dad's guide to hyperemesis

I am in no way qualified to advise women on how to cope with hyperemesis, but I've learnt some lessons that might be worth sharing with other partners.

Woman adopts best friend's four daughters after cancer tragedy

Best friends share everything - and for these two life-long friends, that includes family.

Baby Leo's mum excluded from $500K trust 'for her own protection'

Samuel Forrest didn't want his wife as a trustee of their baby Leo's half million dollar trust for her own "protection", it has emerged.

Confirmed: men gain weight when they become dads

Men who become fathers experience weight gain and an increase in body mass index, a measurement of body fat based on height and weight, according to a new, large-scale study

Carer investigated over washing machine photo posted 'for a laugh'

She said the photo of a boy with Down syndrome in a washing machine was taken just for fun, but no one else was laughing.

Mum's premature labour nightmare after high tea salmonella outbreak

An opulent high tea at a luxury Melbourne hotel has left 44 people with salmonella poisoning - including a pregnant woman, who went into early labour.

The day my son started a fire

Would you know what to do in a fire emergency? How safe is your home and family?

Prince George celebrates second birthday

Prince George's second birthday has been marked by the release of an official picture showing the toddler smiling as he is held by his proud beaming father.

Which beauty treatments are safe in pregnancy?

Is it safe to use fake tan, hair dye and nail varnish during pregnancy?

The five ways I know my 'baby' is no longer a baby

The truth is, I can no longer deny that my walking, babbling, somewhat-independent little miss is no longer a bona fide 'baby'.

Review: Cybex Platinum PRIAM pram

I'm not usually one who believes in love at first sight but that's exactly what happened when I first saw the Cybex PRIAM.

Get your FREE Baby & Toddler Show ticket!

Get your free ticket to the Sydney Essential Baby & Toddler Show for September 25-27 - register online now.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Tell us what you think

to WIN 1 of 2 $500 Coles/Myer gift cards

Why I'm choosing to be a single mother right from the start

I believe that you get out of families what you put into them, and I will give mine my all.

Mother and baby units are a necessity for mental health, not a luxury

I have had two postnatal psychotic episodes. The first when my eldest child was six weeks old, and another after my second child was born.

30 French baby names

French names are always in fashion, but a few have risen in popularity in recent years.

New mum's Spanish maternity nightmare

A British woman who gave birth in Spain has told of her ordeal after spending weeks trying to convince medics the baby girl was hers.

Preparing Rover to be a good dog with baby

Some friends of ours say that it's dangerous to have a dog around a newborn and that we should start looking for a new home for him. Is it?

Company offers to ship working mums' breast milk home

First Apple and Facebook announced they would pay $20,000 towards the cost of their female employees freezing their eggs, now IBM in the US has come up with an innovative new policy aimed at retaining female employees.

Prince William speaks of his pride at wife Kate and 'little joy of heaven' Charlotte

The Duke of Cambridge opened up about family life and his plans for the future in an interview to mark his first day as an air ambulance pilot.

'Glowing' eye saves baby Mason's life

A simple photo taken in front of an evening fire gave new mother Sarah Bowers the power to save her baby's life. 

Parenting and decision overload

Of all the advice people told me before having a baby, no one warned me about the amount of decisions involved.

Proof that toddlers can't be left unsupervised - ever

Parents of toddlers all know the moment when realise your child is being suspiciously quiet. It can only mean one thing - trouble!

Meet Jeremy Ryan, The Voice contestant with seven kids

If you have trouble recalling the ages of Jeremy Ryan's seven children on The Voice, you're not alone. So does he.

Baby's adorable reaction to wearing glasses for the first time

Getting glasses can be a formative moment in a person's life.

Police officer buys supplies for family after mum of six caught shoplifting

When a mum of six was caught shoplifting nappies, clothes and shoes for her kids, the last thing she expected was for a stranger to pay for her haul.

Why pregnant women on antidepressants shouldn’t panic about birth defect claims

The risk of having uncontrolled depression is far greater than the small increased risk of birth defects that may be associated with specific antidepressants.

Arrests made over children's birthday party brawl

Police have raided properties and arrested a number of people over a brawl at a child's birthday party at a play centre in Sydney's west.

Family shares awesome drone baby announcement

Looking for a creative way to share some big news? Look to the skies, like this family did.

Young warrior Owen defies doctors' predictions

Little Owen DiCandilo's name means "young warrior", and it's a description that perfectly fits the inspiring 18-month-old

Advice for dads: when to approach your wife for sex

The exhaustion that comes with caring for young children often means romance between parents becomes a thing of the past.

I might be fat, but I don't need saving

I've been fat for pretty much most of life, besides a few crazy moments of being less-fat, but for the most part I've existed on this earth with a little more meat on my bones than desirable.

The rookie mistakes we make as parents

Since the dawn of civilisation, generation after generation of new parents have had to rely on instinct, trial and error - and sometimes get it wrong.

 

FREE TICKET

See Pinky McKay live in Sydney

Get your free ticket to The Essential Baby & Toddler Show and save $20 - register online now!

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.