Jump to content

Drop nap transition - how long?


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 Tesseract

Posted 20 January 2013 - 07:41 PM

Even though DD is not quite 24 months I'm posting here because it seems to be a common 2-3 year old issue.

DD is dropping her nap sad.gif Well actually I'm partly relieved because getting her to nap has always been more work than its worth. She is resisting her nap with everything she's got, sometimes outright refusing. Then when she does nap I can't get her down to sleep at night until at least 9:30pm. Problem is that when she does skip the nap she is utterly wrecked (to the point of destruction) by dinner time. An earlier bed time is not feasible. Fortunately she does go to bed at 7:30 nice and easy when she doesn't nap. (she then sleeps about 12 hours)

So how long did it take your child to transition? I'm not sure which I hate more - the insane overtired toddler when she misses the nap, or the unsettle-able toddler when she does. Tell me it won't take months and months...Advice please!

#2 Dionysus

Posted 20 January 2013 - 07:48 PM

Oh, how relevant is your post to my life?  LOL

DD is giving up her day nap at the moment.

She is 3.5 and goes to child care 3 times per week.  There, she has only been having a very short nap, if one at all for the past 12 months, but she has always caught up her sleep with 2-3 hour naps on the days she is at home with me (or my mum)

She has seemed to have coped ok with this

Now, though, she has decided all day naps are bad and we are getting the matching 'devil child' at about 3:00 ish each afternoon.  This has gone on for the past few days, so not sure when she will cope better.

Her o/n sleep is perfect (touch wood).  7/7:30 - 7ish in the morning

I have no answers for you, but will be watching to see if anyone else does!

#3 AntiBourgeoisie

Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:03 PM

Tesseract, to put it simply, your daughter is not dropping her nap.
2 is a difficult time. Kids are active, on the go, interested in everything. They want to be out there, doing stuff. Not lying still waiting for sleep to overcome them.
She is also not going to bed late because she had her nap. She is going to bed late for the same problem of not lying still. She goes to bed earlier without her nap because she is so exhausted without it that she passes out - but as you note, her behaviour suffers, and she probably feels like crap.
A child who does not get adequate sleep cannot play and cannot learn properly. It has significant hormonal effects including on growth hormone (for growing) and insulin (maintaining normal metabolism).
You will not do your daughter any favours by taking away her nap. Kids generally need naps until around 3-3.5. She is not ready to drop her nap until she can get to the end of the day without a nap with NO tiredness, and a close to full capacity to play, learn, and perform complex tasks. Your child is ready to drop her nap if you put we in the car at naptime and drive for an hour and she stays awake, chatting brightly to you.
Putting a 2 year old to sleep is hard. You have to convince them to lie still and wait for sleep. Doing it twice a day is doubly annoying. Pretty much everyone goes through this at 2.
It is probably easier to keep you child up, tolerate some tantrums, and let them collapse at 6:30/7 pm. That doesn't make it the best for your child; you will do her a grave disservice if you do that.
This period, as frustrating as it is, will pass. But keep insisting on her nap. Ultimately it will pay off as her behaviour will be far better for being well rested.
I'm sorry if this sounds like a lecture, but it's something I feel strongly about. I have met SO many parents who stopped putting their child to sleep in the false notion that their child was 'dropping' their nap. Then ran into significant behaviour issues. All of which was resolved by merely reinstating the nap.
The odd child drops their nap at 2, happily and with no consequence. It does not sound like your child is one of them.

#4 Tesseract

Posted 21 January 2013 - 08:55 AM

Hummmm I think you might be right anti bourgeoisie, as much as I hate to say it!

Any tips on getting an extremely wilful, extremely engaged, never had liked to nap 2 year old lie still and let sleep overcome them??

#5 bjk76

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:06 AM

Great post AntiBourgeousie - you've answered some of my questions too!

Tesseract, I know what you're going through! DS is 21mo and in the past few weeks he's also been really hard to get to have a nap. He used to stay up for 3.5-4 hours in the morning, before having a 2 hour nap. In the past week he hasn't been able to settle down for a nap and is now staying up for about 7-8 hours before having a 2 hour nap in the late afternoon-early evening. I've tried getting him to 'skip' his nap, but he just crashes in the late afternoon and will only sleep for 2 hours and then is up again in the evening. I've also tried taking him for drives in the car to get him to sleep. This works sometimes, but not always - a couple of days ago we drove around for an hour at nap time, but he wasn't sleepy at all.

He got sick over Christmas and this messed up his body clock a little, so he now wakes up around 9.30-10am and doesn't go to sleep at night until 11pm or midnight! I guess if he were waking up earlier eg. 7.30am, he'd be going to bed around 10pm, which wouldn't be so bad. Having said that, it's really not 'so bad'. I'm at home with him full time and I can adjust my day easily enough around his new schedule. It's just that I have to change my expectation of his daily routine - i.e. not expect him to have a nap after being up for 4 hours.

I feed DS to sleep and whenever he asks for a feed (around when he should be napping)
I take him to bed and see if he'll sleep. When he's finally ready for a nap, I can't keep him awake once he goes on the breast. I think now I'm just going to follow his lead and let him tell me when he's ready to sleep.

#6 Pinky101

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:47 AM

We've been standing outside DD's room and holding the door closed if she tries to come out. Sounds a bit mean, but she doesn't get upset. Just does a bit if a whine (no crying involved) then goes back to bed. Might go through this a couple of times before she stays in bed, but it does mean she's still having a sleep (and waking up at a time early enough to get her into bed at 7pm).

She does the same getting up and trying to open the door at night too, but usually gives up after a couple of tries. Not sure how long we'll need to keep this up before she realises there is no point trying to open the door. Hopefully soon, but at least she's sleeping and there's no crying involved.



#7 Escapin

Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:53 AM

I still remember being little and told to have a nap. How I hated it! But Mum used to say that I could read, but I had to stay in my room for an hour. I'm pretty sure I used to fall asleep. Maybe you could try something like that?

ETA: Also, don't spring it on her (not saying that you do!). Make sure you give her lots of notice. Ie it's time for lunch darling and then after lunch we're going to read a book together and then it's time for your nap. I often say that I will have a npa too, I think my DD (20mo) likes the idea.

Edited by Escapin, 21 January 2013 - 11:54 AM.


#8 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 21 January 2013 - 12:24 PM

i have a 22 month old who drives me insane with her inconsistent sleeping. she has weeks of great napping and sleeping then all of a sudden will sleep bare minimum and be miserable. i do nothing different but for all the sleep training (she self settles and is left to resettle when she wakes) I still can't get any consistency...I will be looking at responses to this OP. I understand all the arguments about "they are exerting their independence...they can't lie still..." but how do you give them the sleep they need when they fight it so much? I hate to see DD unhappy but get so frustrated with her for not sleeping as much as she needs, I know she can do it ...she does it some weeks! I want to get off this sleep related roller coaster!

#9 bjk76

Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:26 PM

DS slept a lot better today. I'm not sure if our activities had anything to do with it or not, but quite possibly!

I expected him to not want a nap until 4pm, so we went out shopping and he was in his pusher for about an hour in a shopping centre around when his nap 'should' be (3-4 hours after he first wakes up). On the way home he started looking tired, so I drove around for a little longer and he fell asleep, about 4.5 hours after he woke up! Tonight he had a big run around in a park, kicking and running after a ball and playing on the playground equipment. When we got home he asked to sit in his pusher again and asked to go for a walk. DH and I went for 1/2 hour walk with him, which he enjoyed. I put him straight in the shower when we got home, but he was quite tired and started throwing a tantrum, so I got him out and we read some stories and he happily went off to sleep.

I'm wondering if being pushed around in the pusher before he's due to sleep helped him to settle down? Anyway, he was asleep by 10.30pm, when last night he didn't sleep until 12.30am, so a BIG improvement! Maybe he just needs more time to settle down before a nap as well, so maybe I should introduce a walk in the pusher as part of his pre-nap routine.

#10 Tesseract

Posted 24 January 2013 - 01:58 PM

Just thought I'd update this thread.

After realising that DD does still need her nap I have been doing things a bit differently and things have improved!

I realised that she naps more happily if it happens after a good lunch, but that lunch has to happen early ie 11:30-12. Usually on the weekends DH and I are pretty disorganised (we like to say we're not ruled by routine!) and just end up snacking until we organise lunch for like 2 pm.

An early lunch then nap is what they do at childcare and it works. So her grandmothers (who look after her on non-childcare days) have also been instructed about early lunch then nap, and they are finding it is working too!

Her bedtime antics are reducing of their own accord, I guess she's back in the habit of going to bed ealrier. In one sense a few days without a nap did help to re-set her bedtime. And because she's napping earlier she is tired, but not overtired, at bedtime.

#11 elizabethany

Posted 24 January 2013 - 02:08 PM

My DS would love not to have a day nap.  But I know he needs one, and when he goes down he sleeps for 2 hours.  It is mainly dealing with his biggest fear, the fear of missing out on something.

#12 heatherdv

Posted 28 January 2013 - 08:35 AM

DS is turning 2 next week and I have made a decision to drop his nap.  I guess he is one of the few who just doesn't need it.  

It was no problem getting him to take the nap, but then he wouldn't sleep until 9.30pm.  As he's an early riser, he starts each day at 6am no matter what time he goes to sleep. So I was dealing with a tired grumpy toddler every morning who would then need a 2 hour nap to catch up and the cycle would begin again.

So this week I've stopped giving him his nap and its been heaven!  If his energy dips I give him a light snack, and I haven't noticed any grumpiness at all.  He's been going to bed at 6.30pm or 7pm very very easily and getting a decent 11.5 or 12 hours sleep at night.  He wakes up happy and energetic, way less tantrums and has lots of energy all day.

I guess if they are ready for the no nap transition then after a day or 2 it should happen fairly easily?

#13 Guest_divineM_*

Posted 28 January 2013 - 01:19 PM

Heatherdv sounds like your LO is getting more sleep overall without his day nap and if he's happy and you're happy then it must be the right answer. Maybe just watch for signs he needs an occasional nap? I know for some it does not go from nap every day to no naps ever but to naps some days.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Special Ticket Offer, Save $8!

The Essential Baby & Toddler Show is back this April! Save $8 off the door price for a limited time only!

Why I breastfed my son until he was three

The fact that I not only breastfed my son, but breastfed him for three and a half years, seems pretty incredible in retrospect.

Do babies and young children see ghosts?

Do babies and young children see ghosts? If you’ve pondered the question, you’re not alone.

15 years with Essential Baby: meet Therese

"Life has a funny way of giving you what you need when you need it the most."

Mum causes a stir by taking a stand against leggings

A mum has found herself the subject of debate after claiming tight bottoms cause lustful thoughts in men.

Don't set a parenting goal for 2015 - do this instead

The problem with goal setting as a parent is the measure. How do we really know if we’re succeeding?

5 pregnancy myths that just won't go away

When you're expecting, it often seems like everyone is keen to offer advice about what you should and shouldn't do in the interests of your health and wellbeing.

RPA hospital contacting mums after discovering vaccine storage fault

Sydney's Royal Prince Alfred Hospital (RPA) is trying to contact women who had babies at the facility after discovering a fault in a refrigerator containing vaccines.

'Nutella' not a baby name, French court says

A French court has blocked parents from naming their baby girl after the hazelnut spread Nutella, arguing it would make her the target of mockery.

Why I'm never calling myself 'just a mum' again

I’ve grown three human beings. I feed them, dress them, teach them, care for them and love them 24 hours a day. Yet for eight years, when I meet new people and they’ve asked me what I do, I tell them: “I’m just a mum”.

Rosie Batty named 2015 Australian of the Year

One year ago, Rosie Batty could not have imagined she'd be where she is. Tonight the grieving mum who put domestic violence on the national agenda was named Australian of the Year.

Five reasons to hug more

Hugging – some of us thrive on it, even depend on it – and then there are those who don't care for it really. So, are they missing out?

Help - my three-year-old has started throwing tantrums

My daughter never went through the "terrible twos" but began throwing wild tantrums shortly after her third birthday.

That's commitment

First peek at Sonia Kruger's daughter Maggie

"She smells so good, I could eat her," Kruger tells co-host David Campbell.

Mum assists in own caesarean surgery

A mum who partly delivered her own twins during a caesarean has encouraged other women to take control of their birthing experience.

How to handle common childhood regressions

Regression can be a natural and common part of development prompted by a variety of factors, but that doesn't make it less frustrating.

Disgruntled dad's pram ad goes viral

When buying a second hand pram, there are lots of things to take into consideration. 

Man discovers he's a dad after finding 55-year-old letter

Discovering you are about to father a baby is startling enough - never mind finding out you have a 61-year-old son.

15 thoughts mums have during a tantrum

Ranging from mild to feral and triggered by events both minor and major, tantrums certainly keep life interesting.

Natural pain relief in the early stages of labour

While managing labour pains on your own can be daunting, there are a number of natural pain relief options to help you cope until you are admitted to hospital.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Download now: Essential Kids Activity Finder app

Got bored kids? Quickly find the best activities for kids wherever you are in Australia with the Essential Kids app.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

Forgotten Baby Syndrome claims the life of toddler

One baby dies every eight days in the back of a car in the US, victims of 'forgotten baby syndrome'.

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel

For a brief time, I was touched by an angel. You stole my heart, and changed me into the women I am today.

Chinese woman gives birth to quintuplets

After six years of trying for a baby, a couple’s dreams have come true many times over after the mum gave birth to quintuplets this week.

Chrissie Swan has reached her "sex quota"

Chrissie Swan says she and her partner have sex once a year due to her fear of falling pregnant.

Stars help save choking babies

It's an important lesson to learn, but one that busy new mums and dads might overlook until it's too late.

New Girl star Zooey Deschanel pregnant

Actress Zooey Deschanel is expecting her first child with her producer boyfriend Jacob Pechenik.

16 times 'dad reflexes' saved the day

Of course, in some cases they may be the ones who actually got their child into a precarious position in the first place, but we'll ignore that for now.

Couple's 'non-traditional' pregnancy announcement goes viral

Knowing you are not the father of your pregnant wife's baby would usually indicate a rocky relationship ahead for traditional parents.

The trials and tribulations of identical triplet newborns

Pip Donnelly is still playing spot the difference with her newborn identical triplets, Isabelle, Georgina and Frankie.

Win an Octonauts prize pack

To celebrate the launch of Octonauts Live! Operation Reef Shield, a spectacular underwater adventure live on stage, we are giving away an amazing Octonauts prize pack to one lucky fan.

Earthquake baby thriving five years on

Jenny Alexis is lucky to be alive after spending four days buried in the rubble of the 2010 Haitian earthquake, but now she's a thriving five year old.

Please don't say I'm lucky because I was adopted

On the one hand I was having a regular life with friends and sports and sleepovers and school. But I was also always wondering: Did my mother love me? What was wrong with me?

An open letter to non-parents who offer advice on child-rearing

Kitty, when you’re the parent of my child you’re welcome to wade in with an opinion – but until then, I’d prefer you to have a supportive ear and a glass of wine ready.

Couple arrested over baby gun video

A US couple faces charges after investigators say they found mobile phone videos showing the woman's 12-month-old daughter putting a handgun in her mouth.

NSW Health dumps 10-year limit on frozen embryos

A 10-year time limit on storing frozen embryos that were created with donor sperm has been dropped by the NSW government.

How my happy-go-lucky husband became a monster

Sharan Nicholson-Rogers watched her husband change from a happy-go-lucky police officer into an unpredictable man prone to violent and emotional outbursts.

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes, too

Dads-to-be experience hormonal changes in line with their pregnant partners, a new study shows.

'They were just doing their job': mum of toddler killed in police chase gone wrong

"They were just doing their job. I feel so sorry for them. It is all just too sad."

Miscarriages to be formally recognised by NSW government

Women who miscarry will be able to obtain an optional "recognition of loss" certificate as a formal recognition of their often heartbreaking loss.

Cafe cubby house 'too noisy' for neighbours

Teenage parties, domestic disputes, or raucous late night pubs are the things that usually come to mind when you think neighbourhood noise complaints.

Dad films baby playing with snake

Most parents would not consider a snake an appropriate playmate for their baby, but a US dad who filmed his daughter playing with a python has defended himself against criticism.

Clever breastfeeding products

Check out this range of products designed to help make your breastfeeding journey more enjoyable, manageable and convenient.

 

Back to School Offer

Findababysitter.com.au

We've got you covered for this school year. Use www.findababysitter.com.au to meet local nannies now.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.