Jump to content

Non vaccinated around new born


  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#1 Kickingitcountry

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:45 PM

I'm pregnant with my 1 st and I'm a pro vac. I have a friend who dosnt vaccinate her kids. She wants to come visit soon after the baby is born. When I declined she got very up set and called me all sorts of names ect

I was shocked she knows I'm pro vac and got upset that I felt that until my child was at least partially vaccinated I didn't want her non vaccinated children around my vulnerable new born baby why I know that my child will encounter non vaccinated people throught their lives but I just cant bring myself to knowingly put my new born into that situation.
Wdyt am I over reacting? unsure.gif

*this was posted in in a another thread

--------------------
Me:27
DH: 27
DS due: 9/3/13

#2 elizabethany

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:49 PM

you have the right to choose who visits your newborn.  And she has the right to feel the repercussions of her choices.

Stick to your guns and goodluck.

#3 Jaffacakes

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

Nope not overreacting at all

Is the mother vaccinated? Could she visit alone?

#4 Super Cat

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

You're not over reacting and your friend is a selfish prat. If she wants to endanger her own children that's bad enough, but to get all sh*tty because you won't let her near your newborn is just about as selfish as you can get.

Stick to your guns.



#5 Satay Chicken

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:53 PM

QUOTE (Kickingitcountry @ 20/01/2013, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wdyt am I over reacting? unsure.gif


No way!!!!! I would be exactly the same....

#6 Chazee

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:01 PM

That's fair enough OP.

Are you checking to make sure all adults that visited are vaccinated also? Whooping cough especially.

#7 epl0822

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:02 PM

I think it's poor taste to insist on visiting newborns/new mum in general. If the new parents WANT you to visit, great...but if they don't want any company because they're tired/you're not vaccinated/you voted Labour/they don't like you in general/etc - why have a tantrum? (Did she seriously call you names...? I mean how old is she?)

My DS spent some time in special care nursery and even the parents had to scrub their hands and arms up to elbows THOROUGHLY before they were allowed to even go near the babies. Parents have a right to choose who gets to hang around their newborn baby.

You probably shouldn't invite her to see you at all, not because she's a non-vaccinator, but because she's a moron.

#8 Fright bat

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would no longer call such a friend a friend.

#9 Red nut

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:02 PM

She's made her choice, and if she wants you to respect that, she needs to respect your choice. Put your fragile newborn at risk of dying from a preventable illness, or put her nose out of joint? No contest.

#10 NunSoFeral

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:17 PM

No - not overreacting.
She called you names?
Wipe her like a dirty bum.

#11 WinterIsComing

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:24 PM

OP, you are absolutely justified in selecting who can visit your vulerable newborn with underdeveloped immune system. Whooping cough vaccinations are not given at birth because immune system isn't mature enough to benefit from them, yet. Kids are a common source of illnesses, and non vaxxed ones would be even more likely to be so.

Secondly, why do you put up with a friend calling you all sorts of names? If a friend called me names for any reasons, she wouldn't be my friend anymore....

#12 tenar

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:31 PM


You are being perfectly reasonable.  

I would be having a serious think about whether this friendship is of any value to you at all, given the likelihood of ongoing conflict over this issue.

#13 LynnyP

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:34 PM

The consequences of her choosing not to vaccinate are that she cannot visit the vulnerable.

The consequences of her calling you names are that she loses your friendship.

#14 Kickingitcountry

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (Anlawich @ 20/01/2013, 12:01 PM)
15254311[/url]']
That's fair enough OP.

Are you checking to make sure all adults that visited are vaccinated also? Whooping cough especially.




Hmmm good point I have been considering this as well trying to figure out a way to ask with out offending.....




Also I live 3 hrs away from her so she can't really come without her kids. Not that I want her to now. I'm just really p*ssed off with her. I have never gotten into how much I really disprove of her choice but I figure we had been mates for so long that Since I gave her respect when it came to ideas on kids, she would do the same for me obviously I was wrong. I think this maybe the end of the friendship but if I have to choose between my child's health and her friendship well lets just there is no choice.
Btw she called me uniformed idiot and a stupid b**ch who was just mindlessly following what ever my doctor says because that's what society tells me to do, their not always right  ect



#15 LynnyP

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:43 PM

Oh I would definitely bin her.  Nothing worse than the aggressively stupid.

#16 Jane Jetson

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

Honestly, I think I would end the friendship. Not over the anti-vaccination (provided she respected your wishes and kept her children away from your newborn) but over the name-calling, which was out of line and never acceptable.

#17 Monkey_Mind

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:47 PM

OP you have to do what is right for you. She has the right not to vaccinate, you have the right to protect your child however you feel fit. The fact that she can't respect your decision when you can respect hers says a lot about her as a friend.

I'm expecting twins and have told my parents they need to get vaccinated for whopping cough before they see them. They weren't going to but now my brother is having a baby they will... Another story in itself :/

You can't prevent illness totally, but you can take measures to limit exposure to anything nasty. Your position is totally justified!

#18 ubermum

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

Friends respect their friends opinions and preferences even if they don't agree with them. They don't start calling them names. Tell her where to go.

#19 gasgirl

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

nope not overreacting. She has made an "informed" decision about vaccination and should be prepared to wear the consequences.
You are doing the right thing by your baby.
Email her a photo if she wants to see the bub.

#20 renee1979

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:02 PM

I do agree that you are perfectly within your rights to only wish vaccinated people come into contact with your newborn.  My daughter was quite sick at 2 weeks, and while she was ok after a couple of weeks, if I have another I will be a lot more vigilant. Your friend sounds terribly narrow minded and rude, but you will probably come across many instances of this (although perhaps not so aggressively) as a parent. Welcome to the world of parenting!  There is always someone who doesn't agree with your parenting choices, and to whom you feel the need to justify your choices.  Sometimes it works best to be subtle about things though, for instance, instead of saying now that someone can't visit when the baby is born, wait until the time and just say you're tired/busy with other visitors etc.... and suggest a visit next week...people are a lot more understanding to vague reasons once a baby is born.  Even people who do understand can sometimes feel a little sad that you don't want them around during the special newborn days, so I tend to find that letting everyone down nicely protects everyone's feelings.  It shouldn't need to be as dramatic as choosing between a friendship or the health of your baby.  Good luck, try not to worry about this so much now, just ensure those close to you have the shots and once bub comes it will all come naturally.

#21 Sif

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:10 PM

I absolutely do not condone her response to your concerns! She doesn't really sound like much of a friend to call you names.

That said, vaccinated people are not 'safe' for your newborn. Not unless they have had their immunity checked once vaccinated. A number of people do not receive immunity from vaccinations. As well as this, most adults simply do not bother with boosters. So, if you believe that your baby will be 'safe' so long as those who visit you while your baby is a newborn have been vaccinated at some stage, you are living with a false sense of security.

Vaccinated children can and do pass on illnesses. My older children caught Chickenpox from a vaccinated child who had not developed immunity through vaccination. Just keep this in mind.



#22 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

Ditch the b**ch. She has no right to be so bloody rude to you.

I have friends who don't vaccinate and we respect each others choices.

I don't have a problem personally with the unvaccinated visiting my newborn however my next baby will be born in winter and I will be restricting visitors because I am worried about passing on a cold or flu etc to the newborn.

#23 Alina0210

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:24 PM

Me personally say over reacting......

I know lots of people who don't vax and had no issues.... Id m
Be more worried about people not washing thier hands before holding the baby....

#24 Lolpigs

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:25 PM

QUOTE (Sif @ 20/01/2013, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I absolutely do not condone her response to your concerns! She doesn't really sound like much of a friend to call you names.

That said, vaccinated people are not 'safe' for your newborn. Not unless they have had their immunity checked once vaccinated. A number of people do not receive immunity from vaccinations. As well as this, most adults simply do not bother with boosters. So, if you believe that your baby will be 'safe' so long as those who visit you while your baby is a newborn have been vaccinated at some stage, you are living with a false sense of security.

Vaccinated children can and do pass on illnesses. My older children caught Chickenpox from a vaccinated child who had not developed immunity through vaccination. Just keep this in mind.


True, but completely un-vaccinated is far more risky.

Whooping cough is a biggy for a newborn. Noone in my family was able to visit without having it done and not one person complained except one uncle who I refused to come and visit my daughter. He also had a big tanty because he doesn't like needles but it isn't worth the risk. This caused similar friction in my family but I stuck to my guns.

I'm the kind of person that keeps a newborn home for the first few months also and away from large crowds etc to minimise exposure and get them to wash their hands with my newborn.

I wouldn't be keeping this person as a friend after the way she spoke to you. She is your child, and everyone needs to respect your decisions regarding her health, end of story.

Edited by Lolpigs, 20 January 2013 - 03:29 PM.


#25 Cyaira

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:42 PM

I have a similar problem - some unvaccinated people in my family *expect* to come visit me and the baby in hospital (and kiss him, and cuddle him) and would be very, very offended if I said no due to their vaccination status.

I still haven't found an answer. sad.gif Just sympathising...




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Help! My baby will only sleep in my arms

It's stressful to be the one who is holding your baby most of the day, but it's even more stressful to wonder, 'am I doing something wrong? Or am I creating bad habits?'

Five-year-old's photo captures beauty of motherhood

There is no make-up or special outfits and hairdos, but the five-year-old boy who took this picture captured the essence of motherhood as well as any professional photographer.

POLL: Which expert do you want to talk to?

Take our super quick poll to let us know what kind of expert you'd like to talk to.

Babies know whether you are naughty or nice

Studies have shown that infants in the first months of life try to avoid dealing with social wrongdoers - for example, sharing less with them and helping them less - and they expect others to, too.

What's your family's illness curse?

I'm a firm believer that every family has their 'curse' : the illness that plagues them but seems to bypass other families.

Bride shaves her head at wedding to pay tribute to ill husband

The idea of shaving your head at your wedding would sound terrifying to many brides - however this woman did it, and for the most heartbreaking reason.

When do you stop swearing around a baby?

You don't really want your baby's first word to be the f-word. So when do you stop talking freely around them?

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Mum left fuming after being forced to dump 15 litres of breast milk at airport

Aviation officials at London's Heathrow Airport forced a nursing mother to dump nearly four gallons (nearly 15 litres) of breast milk.

Health authorities lost track of complaints about controversial midwife

New Zealand hospital bosses were warned about a childbirth educator's controversial and dangerous teachings 10 years ago, but it appears nothing was done.

Would you pay someone to name your baby?

"If you are getting somebody who really knows the evidence, then I'll say it's worth every penny, whether its $500 or $5000."

How much exercise is okay when you’re breastfeeding?

After having each of my babies, I was keen to get back into exercising. Following lots of back pain during pregnancy that restricted my movement, once those babies were out I couldn't wait to move properly again.

Pre-conception health tips for men

As it turns out, conceiving a baby isn't just about fertility and women's health.

Can you spot the 11 dangers to your baby?

Some are difficult to see at first glance, but they can be dangerous to our little loved ones.

Toddler survives near drowning, wakes up with ability to speak

It was moving day for the Holiday family from West Seattle. The family of four were moving just a few houses down the street, and both homes were a hive of activity.

Amniotic fluid embolism and blood clots in pregnancy

Two types of embolism that can occur include amniotic fluid embolism (AFE) and venous thromboembolism (VTE, or clots in the blood).

Little girl's dream comes true when she meets garbage man

She always wanted to meet her bin man, who drives by her house and honks at her each time.

What to expect when you go from two to four

Elyce and her husband had a four-year-old and a two-year-old - both boys - when they received the news they were expecting twin sons.

The latest news on treating and trying to prevent eczema

Eczema is a disease which affects up to one in four children under the age of two in Australia. (SPONSORED)

What's new so far: prams & strollers of 2016

It's time to round up the new prams of 2016; here's your guide to what's new and improved in the pram world.

Baby's death leads to warnings over portacot mattresses

The death of a baby whose head got stuck between a foam mattress and a cot side has prompted a public safety caution.

The grandmother offering a safe haven for babies in need

Like most people, Catherine Lucre is left heartbroken when she hears news that a baby has been abandoned or killed.

 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Articles

Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

The babies who are one in 70 million

Bethani Webb was excited to find out she was pregnant, but the first time mum did not realise she was carrying four babies not one.

Exclusive Black Friday Sale!

Get over 40% off selected products, including prams, baby carriers, cloth nappies, sleeping bags and much more! 24 hours only, on May 6 - register now for your special code.

Cafe offers breastfeeding mums a free cup of tea

A Sydney cafe is offering breastfeeding mums free cups of tea in a bid to show support for the right of women to nurse their babies wherever they choose.

To snip or not to snip? When the decision is not clear cut

Jamie Oliver, who considered a vasectomy, is to be a father again. A fellow dad reflects on his own decision 11 years ago

Doctors stunned by rare twins born almost six weeks apart

To everyone's surprise, Kristen Miller "kept doing better each day", keeping her second baby safe.

Baby book ideas for modern parents

Before my son was born I was given a lovely baby book full of blank pages waiting to be filled with weights and heights and first words.

The adorable smile of a baby seeing his mum clearly for the first time

There is no doubt seeing their child smile for the first time is an unforgettable moment for parents everywhere.

Mum tells how toddler 'nearly hung himself' in cot mishap

When Alison Johnson put her 18-month-old Caleb down for a nap, she had no reason to believe her son was in any danger.

Babies are still switched at birth? Yes, it can happen

All my panic and tears aside, my biggest question looking back is about the kind of security measures used in the maternity ward.

Doctors slammed for taking selfie with newborn

Everyone who visits a mum in hospital in the days following childbirth wants to get a photo with the new baby.

ergoPouch Twosie Sleepsuit for winter breastfeeding

Finally, there's a way to keep warm while breastfeeding through winter.

Health check: How long does sex 'normally' last?

What to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it during the throes of passion.

When breastfeeding sucks: fixing common problems

From niplash to tight boobs, biting to milk supply issues, Pinky McKay looks at common breastfeeding issues and how to solve them.

10 things I've learnt in my first six months with twins

Six months on we're all still alive, and the more we get to know each other the easier the days become.

Mum's loving kiss leaves baby fighting for life

Kirsty Carrington thought nothing of giving her newborn son a kiss, little did she know it would leave the baby fighting for life.

When doing chores is your new 'me time'

After children, 'me time' looks a little different.

Get going: 14 travel strollers for families on the move

A stroller can make or break travelling with a baby or toddler. Here are 15 great single travel stroller options.

10 ways toddlers are terrific

It always pays to remind yourself of how terrific toddlers can be - they're little like this for such a short time

 

ENTER NOW

Do your kids love bananas?

This is the comp for you! We have $800 worth of Myer gift cards and boxes of Australian Bananas to be won. Entry is simple: just post a pic of your little one enjoying a banana in the comments of the FB post to enter.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.