Jump to content

Non vaccinated around new born


  • Please log in to reply
36 replies to this topic

#1 Kickingitcountry

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:45 PM

I'm pregnant with my 1 st and I'm a pro vac. I have a friend who dosnt vaccinate her kids. She wants to come visit soon after the baby is born. When I declined she got very up set and called me all sorts of names ect

I was shocked she knows I'm pro vac and got upset that I felt that until my child was at least partially vaccinated I didn't want her non vaccinated children around my vulnerable new born baby why I know that my child will encounter non vaccinated people throught their lives but I just cant bring myself to knowingly put my new born into that situation.
Wdyt am I over reacting? unsure.gif

*this was posted in in a another thread

--------------------
Me:27
DH: 27
DS due: 9/3/13

#2 elizabethany

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:49 PM

you have the right to choose who visits your newborn.  And she has the right to feel the repercussions of her choices.

Stick to your guns and goodluck.

#3 Jaffacakes

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

Nope not overreacting at all

Is the mother vaccinated? Could she visit alone?

#4 Super Cat

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:50 PM

You're not over reacting and your friend is a selfish prat. If she wants to endanger her own children that's bad enough, but to get all sh*tty because you won't let her near your newborn is just about as selfish as you can get.

Stick to your guns.



#5 Satay Chicken

Posted 20 January 2013 - 01:53 PM

QUOTE (Kickingitcountry @ 20/01/2013, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wdyt am I over reacting? unsure.gif


No way!!!!! I would be exactly the same....

#6 Chazee

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:01 PM

That's fair enough OP.

Are you checking to make sure all adults that visited are vaccinated also? Whooping cough especially.

#7 epl0822

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:02 PM

I think it's poor taste to insist on visiting newborns/new mum in general. If the new parents WANT you to visit, great...but if they don't want any company because they're tired/you're not vaccinated/you voted Labour/they don't like you in general/etc - why have a tantrum? (Did she seriously call you names...? I mean how old is she?)

My DS spent some time in special care nursery and even the parents had to scrub their hands and arms up to elbows THOROUGHLY before they were allowed to even go near the babies. Parents have a right to choose who gets to hang around their newborn baby.

You probably shouldn't invite her to see you at all, not because she's a non-vaccinator, but because she's a moron.

#8 Fright bat

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:02 PM

I would no longer call such a friend a friend.

#9 Red nut

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:02 PM

She's made her choice, and if she wants you to respect that, she needs to respect your choice. Put your fragile newborn at risk of dying from a preventable illness, or put her nose out of joint? No contest.

#10 NunSoFeral

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:17 PM

No - not overreacting.
She called you names?
Wipe her like a dirty bum.

#11 WinterIsComing

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:24 PM

OP, you are absolutely justified in selecting who can visit your vulerable newborn with underdeveloped immune system. Whooping cough vaccinations are not given at birth because immune system isn't mature enough to benefit from them, yet. Kids are a common source of illnesses, and non vaxxed ones would be even more likely to be so.

Secondly, why do you put up with a friend calling you all sorts of names? If a friend called me names for any reasons, she wouldn't be my friend anymore....

#12 tenar

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:31 PM


You are being perfectly reasonable.  

I would be having a serious think about whether this friendship is of any value to you at all, given the likelihood of ongoing conflict over this issue.

#13 LynnyP

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:34 PM

The consequences of her choosing not to vaccinate are that she cannot visit the vulnerable.

The consequences of her calling you names are that she loses your friendship.

#14 Kickingitcountry

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:37 PM

QUOTE (Anlawich @ 20/01/2013, 12:01 PM)
15254311[/url]']
That's fair enough OP.

Are you checking to make sure all adults that visited are vaccinated also? Whooping cough especially.




Hmmm good point I have been considering this as well trying to figure out a way to ask with out offending.....




Also I live 3 hrs away from her so she can't really come without her kids. Not that I want her to now. I'm just really p*ssed off with her. I have never gotten into how much I really disprove of her choice but I figure we had been mates for so long that Since I gave her respect when it came to ideas on kids, she would do the same for me obviously I was wrong. I think this maybe the end of the friendship but if I have to choose between my child's health and her friendship well lets just there is no choice.
Btw she called me uniformed idiot and a stupid b**ch who was just mindlessly following what ever my doctor says because that's what society tells me to do, their not always right  ect



#15 LynnyP

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:43 PM

Oh I would definitely bin her.  Nothing worse than the aggressively stupid.

#16 Jane Jetson

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:45 PM

Honestly, I think I would end the friendship. Not over the anti-vaccination (provided she respected your wishes and kept her children away from your newborn) but over the name-calling, which was out of line and never acceptable.

#17 Monkey_Mind

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:47 PM

OP you have to do what is right for you. She has the right not to vaccinate, you have the right to protect your child however you feel fit. The fact that she can't respect your decision when you can respect hers says a lot about her as a friend.

I'm expecting twins and have told my parents they need to get vaccinated for whopping cough before they see them. They weren't going to but now my brother is having a baby they will... Another story in itself :/

You can't prevent illness totally, but you can take measures to limit exposure to anything nasty. Your position is totally justified!

#18 ubermum

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:49 PM

Friends respect their friends opinions and preferences even if they don't agree with them. They don't start calling them names. Tell her where to go.

#19 gasgirl

Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:57 PM

nope not overreacting. She has made an "informed" decision about vaccination and should be prepared to wear the consequences.
You are doing the right thing by your baby.
Email her a photo if she wants to see the bub.

#20 renee1979

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:02 PM

I do agree that you are perfectly within your rights to only wish vaccinated people come into contact with your newborn.  My daughter was quite sick at 2 weeks, and while she was ok after a couple of weeks, if I have another I will be a lot more vigilant. Your friend sounds terribly narrow minded and rude, but you will probably come across many instances of this (although perhaps not so aggressively) as a parent. Welcome to the world of parenting!  There is always someone who doesn't agree with your parenting choices, and to whom you feel the need to justify your choices.  Sometimes it works best to be subtle about things though, for instance, instead of saying now that someone can't visit when the baby is born, wait until the time and just say you're tired/busy with other visitors etc.... and suggest a visit next week...people are a lot more understanding to vague reasons once a baby is born.  Even people who do understand can sometimes feel a little sad that you don't want them around during the special newborn days, so I tend to find that letting everyone down nicely protects everyone's feelings.  It shouldn't need to be as dramatic as choosing between a friendship or the health of your baby.  Good luck, try not to worry about this so much now, just ensure those close to you have the shots and once bub comes it will all come naturally.

#21 Sif

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:10 PM

I absolutely do not condone her response to your concerns! She doesn't really sound like much of a friend to call you names.

That said, vaccinated people are not 'safe' for your newborn. Not unless they have had their immunity checked once vaccinated. A number of people do not receive immunity from vaccinations. As well as this, most adults simply do not bother with boosters. So, if you believe that your baby will be 'safe' so long as those who visit you while your baby is a newborn have been vaccinated at some stage, you are living with a false sense of security.

Vaccinated children can and do pass on illnesses. My older children caught Chickenpox from a vaccinated child who had not developed immunity through vaccination. Just keep this in mind.



#22 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:13 PM

Ditch the b**ch. She has no right to be so bloody rude to you.

I have friends who don't vaccinate and we respect each others choices.

I don't have a problem personally with the unvaccinated visiting my newborn however my next baby will be born in winter and I will be restricting visitors because I am worried about passing on a cold or flu etc to the newborn.

#23 Alina0210

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:24 PM

Me personally say over reacting......

I know lots of people who don't vax and had no issues.... Id m
Be more worried about people not washing thier hands before holding the baby....

#24 Lolpigs

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:25 PM

QUOTE (Sif @ 20/01/2013, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I absolutely do not condone her response to your concerns! She doesn't really sound like much of a friend to call you names.

That said, vaccinated people are not 'safe' for your newborn. Not unless they have had their immunity checked once vaccinated. A number of people do not receive immunity from vaccinations. As well as this, most adults simply do not bother with boosters. So, if you believe that your baby will be 'safe' so long as those who visit you while your baby is a newborn have been vaccinated at some stage, you are living with a false sense of security.

Vaccinated children can and do pass on illnesses. My older children caught Chickenpox from a vaccinated child who had not developed immunity through vaccination. Just keep this in mind.


True, but completely un-vaccinated is far more risky.

Whooping cough is a biggy for a newborn. Noone in my family was able to visit without having it done and not one person complained except one uncle who I refused to come and visit my daughter. He also had a big tanty because he doesn't like needles but it isn't worth the risk. This caused similar friction in my family but I stuck to my guns.

I'm the kind of person that keeps a newborn home for the first few months also and away from large crowds etc to minimise exposure and get them to wash their hands with my newborn.

I wouldn't be keeping this person as a friend after the way she spoke to you. She is your child, and everyone needs to respect your decisions regarding her health, end of story.

Edited by Lolpigs, 20 January 2013 - 03:29 PM.


#25 Cyaira

Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:42 PM

I have a similar problem - some unvaccinated people in my family *expect* to come visit me and the baby in hospital (and kiss him, and cuddle him) and would be very, very offended if I said no due to their vaccination status.

I still haven't found an answer. sad.gif Just sympathising...




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 

Wet wipes linked to rise in allergic reactions

The government has issued a health warning after a rise in allergic skin reactions has been linked to a preservative found in some wet wipes.

Gay couple in their 80s first to wed in Dallas after Supreme Court ruling

Love may have won, but it came with quite the wait.

William Tyrrell's family marks birthday with cake and renewed appeal

The family of missing boy William Tyrrell will mark his fourth birthday on Friday making a cake to share with friends and family as NSW police renewed their public appeal for information on his disappearance.

What all parents should know about safe babywearing

A picture of Ryan Reynolds always gets the girls talking, and a recently shared photo has done exactly that - but this time, it's for all the wrong reasons.

Baby's head shape reveals potentially fatal condition

Thinking her baby just had an unusually shaped head, a mother was shocked to discover it was instead linked to a dangerous condition.

'Help - my toddler hits me!'

My toddler has started hitting when he gets frustrated, is feeling ignored, or just thinks it might be fun.

Why IVF success rates may not be what you think

Transparency, accountability and responsibilityare essential measures to protect IVF vulnerable patients.

On the 10th anniversary of my son's death

This day marks a significant day. Today marks 10 years since I lost my son Kai.

Owning a pair of nail scissors does not make me a hairdresser

It's been a whole year since sleeping in until 10am. A whole year since having a peaceful shower.

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you a parent, or are you planning to be? Tell us what you think and you'll go in the draw to win a $500 gift card!

Sexy time

Why you should get excited about scheduling sex

Unfortunately, the belief that sex should always be spontaneous is a myth. It just isn't.

Orphaned baby daughter Ayla wakes from coma

Former All Black Jerry Collins' critically injured orphaned daughter has awoken from her coma and is able to bottle-feed.

Dad takes miraculous catch while feeding baby

One American father has taken multitasking to a new level at a Cubs-Dodgers baseball game at Wrigley Field.

'Samuel is our firstborn, and he will never be forgotten'

Having lost their firstborn at one day old, the Carrolls were overjoyed to welcome their daughter Isobel into the world a year later.

The top 6 misleading parenting terms

From 'morning sickness' to 'the terrible twos', there are many parenting terms that are misleading.

When 'good' nannies go bad

While most nannies take pride in their work, there can be some who have a hidden side.

Woman hospitalised for skinny jeans injury

Beware: skinny jeans might be bad for your health.

Gauze seeding: the bacteria-breeding birth trend

A number of women having caesarean deliveries are now taking steps to give their baby a better 'microbiome' start in life.

Jimmy Fallon writes new children's book for dads

Jimmy Fallon, host of NBC's The Tonight Show, recently wrote a children's book about every father's secret wish for their baby's first word to be "dada" - not "mama".

28 names for babies born in winter

Looking for some baby name inspiration for a bub born during the colder months? Here are 28 options from around the world to consider.

 
Advertisement
 
Advertisement
 
 
 

What's hot on EB

27 funny ultrasound pictures

Ultrasounds give you a look at your growing baby ... and sometimes what appears to their womb-buddy, or your bub in an amusing position.

The horrible act that sparked a brawl at child's birthday party

The uncle of the seven-year-old girl at the centre of the brawl at child's birthday party in Sydney's west has described the events leading up to the alarming show of violence.

Babies 'benefit from iPads at a young age': study

More often than not, you'll read that screen time for children should be kept to a minimum - but some scientists are now challenging this way of thinking.

Do mums really just obsessively talk about their children?

Natalie Reilly describes three main types of conversations mothers have. And, surprise, they're not all about kids.

Why some dogs might attack babies or young kids

A baby's smell, the noises it makes and even its gaze can contribute to the potential for a dog attack.

Mum demands refund for 'beargina' christening cake

It was meant to be a tasteful cake to help celebrate a three-year-old's christening.

5 things no one warns you about after giving birth

How many times have you been warned about all the sleepless nights you have to 'look forward to' when you become a parent?

Police officer sang nursery rhyme as heartbreaking photo was taken

A police officer arrived at a devastating scene on Thursday: a car crash resulting in all passengers being thrown from the vehicle.

Don't worry, working mums: Just leave Dad in charge at home

Want to open the boardroom doors for women? Encourage - heck, praise - dads who stay home with their children.

Hilaria Baldwin shares post-baby selfie

Just two days after giving birth, actor Alec Balwin's wife posted a post-baby picture on social media.

'Help - my child won't ever do what I ask!'

Compliance is part of the parent-child relationship, but so is resistance. It's all natural.

Postnatal depression support gets $23 million boost in NSW

The Baird government will include $22.8 million in Tuesday's NSW budget to expand a program designed to help parents at risk of postnatal depression (PND).

'I'm just as tired, scared and stressed as you': stay-at-home dad's plea

I'm really lucky to have two great kids, but I found it really tough with so much being aimed at the mothers and not the fathers.

6 tips for transitioning back to work after baby

Mums returning to work - and yes, dads too - aren't the same as when they left. But that doesn't mean they're not as good as they once were.

Couple reveals pregnancy with epic Britney Spears parody

How do you create an original pregnancy announcement and gender reveal? You turn to Britney Spears.

The truth about birthing a big baby

When told that they are having a 'big baby', many women have a lot of fears. But those fears are often unfounded.

Eight months pregnant and addicted to eating soap

This bizarre snack takes the cake (of soap) when it comes to weird pregnancy cravings.

Can you spot the drowning child?

Can you spot him in the video? The child who loses his rubber ring, panics, and then almost drowns? It isn't easy.

Noodles, peanuts, wee wees and lady bits

Yes, I know it's silly. I know all the advice from experts is to use the right terminology from the moment your child can talk. But I just can't.

Mum's brave battle for unborn triplets amid cancer diagnosis

Bree O'Malley has a cancer diagnosis, a rare blood condition, kidney and liver failure and other complications. And she is pregnant with triplets.

 

Win $500

WIN A $500 VISA DEBIT CARD

Are you are parent or planning to be? We want to know what you think - let us know and you'll be in the draw to win a $500 gift card.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.